Justin sighed as he gave her the number.
"Thanks, Justin. I'll talk to you later."
"Bye."
Justin threw down the phone and hopped out of bed. He looked over at Joey. Joey was sleeping on his back with his mouth open. Justin chuckled at the sight and then got dressed.
Chris was zippering up his suitcase when his cell phone rang. "Hello?" he said cheerfully into it.
"Chris!" he heard Gracie's voice say. "I'm so glad I got a hold of you!"
Chris grinned as he sat back down on his bed. "I take it you've talked with Justin?"
"Yep, and he told me that you two have got your bodies back." She paused. "Right?"
"Right!"
"So... Chris..."
"Say my name again," he interrupted. "I love being called Chris. Actually, call me anything but Justin. You can call me Dirt for all I care," he laughed.
"Okay, Justin..."
"Hey!"
"I'm kidding," she giggled. "Actually, Chris... I was calling because we really need to get together and talk. Face to face... not over the phone like this."
"I know what you mean. Want me to come over to your place?" Chris wondered as he picked at the hem of his green Fubu shirt.
"Sure," Gracie agreed.
A half hour later, Chris was parking the rental car in front of Gracie's apartment. She buzzed him in and he walked up the stairs to her room. He didn't even have to knock. She stood there in the doorway waiting for him.
"Hey," he said, giving her a warm smile.
"Hi. Come on in."
The two of them sat down on the couch. Chris cleared his throat.
"This is kinda weird," Gracie spoke up, breaking the silence.
Chris turned to her. "What do you mean?"
"Well, last time I saw you... you were Justin." She then laughed. "If that makes any sense at all! It's just weird talking to you as... you..."
Chris smiled. "I know what you mean. It's weird talking to you as me too."
Gracie turned away from Chris and stared ahead. "Well, that and the fact that last time we were here... we..."
Chris gulped and stole a glance at her. "Yeah, I'm really sorry about that," he said slowly as he brushed a few beads of sweat from his forehead away. "I... I..." he stuttered. "I don't know what I was thinking and I-"
"Chris," Gracie interrupted, placing her hand on his knee. "It's okay."
He gazed down at her hand and then lifted his eyes to meet hers.
"I know you're nervous," she smiled. "I can tell, but-"
"You know what, Gracie?" Chris cut in as he pushed her hand away. "I really shouldn't be here. What about..." he trailed off. He could feel the strength draining from his body when she scooted closer to him.
"Justin?" she finished for him.
Chris closed his eyes tightly, willing his tears to disappear. "Stop!" he tried to hell, but it came out in a whisper. "I can't do this to Justin. He's my best friend."
"I know!" she told him as she scooted closer once again. "You've already told me."
There was silence as Chris tried to decide on what to say. Gracie spoke up anyway.
"But, Chris... when we were together..." she trailed off.
"You' thought I was Justin," he finished for her. "You thought-"
He was cut off by his cell phone ringing. He dug in his pocket and flipped it open.
"Hello?" he sniffed.
"Chris!" he heard Justin's voice say. "Where are you? JC said you left before he got up. You didn't even leave a note or anything."
"I'm sorry, Justin. I know I should have left a note."
"Where are you?" Justin asked again.
"Justin, we need to talk about something."
Justin was silent. He knew what Chris was talking about and he wasn't sure if he wanted to talk with Chris about it. He felt his mouth go dry followed by a strange feeling in his stomach that didn't seem to be going away soon.
"Chris," he finally said. "I think I know what you're talking about. This is about Gracie... isn't it?"
"Yes," Chris admitted, steeling a quick glance at the pretty girl sitting next to him. "I'm a little confused and I think we would both feel better if we laid all of our feelings out and then decided what was going to happen."
Justin sighed. "You're right."
"I'll come back to the hotel so we can talk." He hung up the phone and turned to Gracie. "I need to talk to Justin first," he told her as he stood up and took a step towards the door.
Gracie stood up and grabbed his hand. "Chris, wait."
He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the feelings that shot through his body when she touched him.
"What?" he whispered.
"What I had with Justin was... fun... but he's too young for me."
"But you're both eighteen," he argued. "How can he be too young for you?"
"I want someone older, someone who's ready to make a commitment," she explained.
Chris couldn't believe she had just said that. His senses were going into overload and he could feel himself losing control. And when she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, he melted.
"Chris..." she said breathlessly. "I want to be with you..."
He looked down at her with panic. "Are you sure, Gracie? Have you thought this out?" he questioned. "You know that I can't do this to Justin..."
Tears sprang to Gracie's eyes. "I know... but... I... I..." she stuttered until she grew so weak that she couldn't stand on her own and she collapsed against Chris' chest.
He led her to the couch and gently pushed her to a sitting position. "I'll be right back," he promised. "I'm going to have a quick talk with Justin." He paused to look into her eyes. "Okay?"
"Okay," she agreed, but he could hardly hear her.
Justin opened the door and peered out for the third time. It didn't take THIS long to get from Gracie's apartment to the hotel. Where was he?
That's when Chris came walking slowly around the corner. On his face was a look of guilt... or sadness. Justin couldn't tell which. Maybe it was both...
"What took so long?" he asked as he held the door open for Chris to walk in.
Chris ignored his question as he gazed around the room. "Where's Joey?" he wondered.
"He's out..." Justin answered.
Chris laughed nervously. "You know... I think I should change rooms with Joey. Then we wouldn't have to worry about the others hearing our conversations."
Normally, Justin would have chuckled, or even smiled, but now he felt as if Chris were trying to keep something from him and he didn't like it. Not at all.
"What are you trying to avoid telling me?" he asked bluntly.
Chris sighed as he sat down on Justin's bed. "We need to talk."
"I know, Justin acknowledged.
Chris closed his eyes as he dug deep down for all the courage he could find. "Gracie told me that she wants to be with me," he said so quietly that Justin could hardly hear.
"What?" Justin gasped, as he fell into a chair. "But I thought..." he started and then stopped when he met Chris' brown eyes and held them with his blue ones. "Damn it, Chris," he cried. "I'm getting all the crap in this deal!"
Chris stood up from his spot on Justin's bed. "What deal?! There's no deal!"
Justin put his face in his hands. "I just can't take this anymore..." he mumbled as Chris knelt down beside him.
"Justin, all you have to do is say that you don't want me to be with Gracie and I'll go back to her apartment and tell her that we can't be together."
Justin peered at him through his fingers.
Chris continued, "You're more important to me than any girl. There'll always be girls... but I only have one best friend," he smiled. "And that's you."
A single tear ran down Justin's cheek as he stared down at his best friend. "I want you to be happy," he choked out.
"Justin... Do you love her?" Chris asked, half hoping he'd say yes so this Gracie thing would be over with and half hoping he'd say no so he could be with Gracie.
Justin's hands went to his face again. "I don't know..." he muttered. Suddenly, he sat up straight, grasping the arms of the chair tightly. "Chris," he said. "If you love her, I want you to go... go and be with her!" he almost shouted.
But Chris could see it in his eyes... Justin still loved Gracie. What would happen to their friendship if he did as Justin said? They were already feeling the strain it had put on them... but what about later? Would it get worse... or would it just... go away?
Chris decided not to take any chances. There was no way in HELL he'd give up his best friend so easily. No way in hell. "No," he told Justin. "No, I will NOT go be with her."
Justin looked surprised. "Why not?"
"I already told you! Our friendship is more important!" he paused and glanced towards the window. "Besides..." he swallowed and blinked his eyes. "They'll be other girls."
Justin stood up, almost knocking Chris over. "Chris! You're twenty-eight! How many other girls are there going to be?!"
Chris stood also, looking directly into Justin's intense blue eyes. "And she's EIGHTEEN!"
"So am I!" Justin choked and lowered his voice. "And we're best friends... why cant you be with Gracie? Age doesn't matter!"
"You're the one who brought it up, Justin. And age DOES matter! It's different to have a best friend who's ten years younger than you. Trust me. I know. I've been there."
Justin fell back on his bed and wiped a few tears away. "Why won't you LISTEN to me!?" he cried.
"Because," Chris said matter of factly. "You don't know what you're saying, Justin! You're telling me to go and be with your girlfriend! Do you know how INSANE that sounds?"
"But you're in LOVE with her!" Justin protested. "HEY! I am NOT insane!"
Chris ignored his statement. "This is the end of this discussion. I'm going straight to Gracie's and I'm going to tell her that we can't be together. That's all there is to it."
Justin opened his mouth to object.
"No!" Chris screamed. "You're not going to change my mind! Adios." With that, he stomped to the door, flung it open and left, slamming it behind himself.
Justin rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. This was, by far, the most complicated situation he had EVER been in. But, would it be over soon?
Chris drove back to Gracie's as slow as possible. He was in no hurry to tell her that they couldn't be together.
By the time he had arrived, his vision was blurry from the tears that had been welling up in his eyes.
He froze at the door. How could he do this? WHY was he doing this? 'Justin,' he reminded himself. 'I'm doing this for Justin.'
Slowly, he put his hand on the doorknob, turned it and pushed it open. He pressed in the number for Gracie's room and waited for her to answer.
"Hello?" came her soft, sweet voice through the intercom.
Chris cringed. He really didn't want to hurt her... but what else could he do? "It's me," he said, barely above a whisper. "I'm back."
Gracie buzzed him in and Chris crawled up the stairs... afraid to see her... afraid to tell her...
But there she was, just around the corner waiting for him. There eyes locked immediately and Chris knew that he'd have to go through with it. There was no escaping now.
"Hi," he said faintly as he slowly approached her. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion and Chris hated it! He wanted this to be over with so they could move on to the next city and the next show. He reminded himself, 'Gracie's here... I'll be gone soon, and Justin will be coming with me.'
Gracie saw the alarmed look deep in his brown eyes and began to panic. "Chris, what is it?" she said, the tears welling up in her eyes and threatening to fall onto her rosy cheeks. "What's wrong?"
Instead of telling her right there in the hall, he walked closer, took her by the arm and pulled her back into the apartment. "Gracie," he started. "We need to talk."
Chris was SICK of talks... all DAY he had been TALKING! Gracie, Justin... Justin, Gracie... back and forth... Why couldn't this just be OVER with?!
He was on the verge of tears as he looked over at her tearstained face. "I'm really sorry," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "But we just can't be together. It won't work out."
The look on Gracie's face after he had spoken just about broke his heart.
"What?" she said in awe. "Chris... but what you said before... yesterday... it doesn't add up!" "Gracie, you have to understand... I talked to Justin and he still loves you. There's no way we can be together."
"But I don't love him! I love you!" she cried.
"And HE'S my best friend!" Chris put his hand on the door knob. He didn't know how much longer he could take this.
"Listen, we can still be friends... we can e-mail each other and stuff, but if it's anymore than that, it'll crush Justin and that's something I will NOT allow to happen," he told her, turning the door knob slightly.
"Don't do this, Chris!" she said, grabbing his arm and attempting to pull him away from the door. "I KNOW you love me."
"Gracie, please!" Chris begged. Anymore of this and he would have no choice but to give in. "Okay, okay! Just let things blow over... let them settle. Maybe next year when we come back to town things will be different. But not now."
Gracie stared into his eyes for a few moments, taking in everything he said. "Really, Chris? Next time you're here you'll come see me?"
"Next year," he promised. "But not sooner. I just can't hurt Justin more than I already have."
"Okay," she agreed. "But will you still keep in touch?"
"You have my phone number... right?"
"Yeah." She moved closer to him and leaned up to kiss him one last time. "This is good-bye then?"
"No," Chris whispered. "This is... until next time."
Chris, all of a sudden, felt guilty. He had told Justin that he would break things off with Gracie for good... and now... here he was making promises to her.
"Okay," Gracie agreed again.
Their lips finally met in a good-bye kiss that was so bitter sweet, that the tears escaped from Chris' eyes and fell onto their faces. The teary kiss ended and they both whispered, good-bye.
"But this isn't good-bye," Chris reminded her as he pulled away and pushed the door half way open. "Hasta luego."
He knew that if he heard her say the words, he'd break down and then there'd be no telling what would happen next, so he quietly slipped out of her apartment, giving her one last glance before he shut the door completely.
Slowly and sadly, he walked down the hall, the stairs, and out of the building. He had just gotten through the hardest thing he had ever done, and what did he have to show for it?
"A best friend," Chris answered out loud as he opened the car door and got in. But was it really over with?
Identities: Who Am I Now?
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