At sound check, JC hardly said a word. He ignored almost everyone and when he sang, there was something missing in his voice. Joey came up behind him and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "What's up, man? You seem... down."
JC sighed. He sat on the edge of the stage and let his legs swing back and forth. "I'm tired... and I don't feel that great."
"Well, cheer up. I hear that we're going to your favorite restaurant for an interview tomorrow. Good food, good times, man," he winked.
"Good times," JC repeated absentmindedly. "Something that I won't have a in a while..."
It was one thirty AM when Chris pulled up to Gracie's apartment complex. He hadn't called her because he wanted it to be a surprise. He thought it would be exciting if he were to call her while he was still outside of her apartment and then while he had her on the line, he'd knock on her door.
Silently, he approached the front door and wondered why she hadn't called him back when he left the message on her answering machine. Pushing the thought aside, he pulled out his phone and entered in her number.
It only took three rings before she picked up.
"Hello?" she said sleepily into the phone.
"Hi, Gracie."
"Chris?"
"Yeah... it's me. We really need to talk." He leaned against the building and stared up at the stars. Hearing her voice for the first time after so long brought tears to his eyes.
"I miss you," she said softly. "I missed you so much, Chris... you have no idea."
"Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea." He paused, tracing an invisible line between stars with his eyes. "I talked to Justin and everything's all cleared up."
"Everything?"
"Yeah..." Chris found himself smiling. "He told me what happened."
"He DID?" The only thing running through Gracie's mind was her conversation with Justin and the secret they were keeping. Had Justin REALLY told Chris EVERYTHING? She decided to play it safe. "What did he say?"
"Oh... you know. Just about what JC did."
"Oh!"
"Were you okay? I mean... you... you didn't hurt too badly? Gracie, I thought about you all the time. Every second. Even when I was sleeping, I dreamt of you."
Gracie was blown away by his words. "Chris..." she sighed. "I never stopped thinking about you either. I convinced myself that JC's story made sense, even though deep down I knew that it didn't."
"Same here," he said, matching her sigh. "I didn't want it to be real. I kept hoping that I'd wake up and you'd be lying there next to me. Gracie... I need to see you."
"How can you when you're all the way over in..." she paused, obviously running his schedule through her tired mind. "Where are you, anyway?"
"Well," he smiled, "I wanted it to be a surprise, but I can't hold out any longer. I'm here."
Her heart beat faster, not believing it. "Where's here?" she whispered.
"Outside your apartment building," he replied. "Gracie, you have no idea how much I need to hold you in my-"
Click.
Chris held the phone away from his ear and looked at it, a confused expression spreading over his face. Had she hung up on him?
Suddenly, she came bursting through the door, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck. She took in his scent, finally completely realizing how much she had really missed him.
Chris dotted her face with kisses as he wrapped his arms around her. "I thought you were mad at me or something..." he whispered, when she looked up into his shining, brown eyes.
"Why would I be mad?" Gracie pinched up a fallen eyelash from his cheek and held it up in front of him. "Make a wish," she insisted and he blew it from her fingers.
"Because you hung up on me... I just thought you were..."
"I'm not mad," she promised. "But what did you wish for?"
He grinned at her, pressing his nose to hers gently. "I really shouldn't tell you that. Do you want me to just throw away my wish, Gracie?"
Gracie pushed her lips to his for their first kiss in a long time. "Of course not," she said after they had parted. "Forget I asked."
Chris pulled her in for a hug and she looked blankly across the street. 'If only Justin hadn't tricked me,' she thought, 'Then everything would be SO perfect.' Her heart was heavy. She wanted to tell Chris that she was carrying his child... and she would. The problem was, that it probably wasn't the truth.
Gracie had heard her mother saying that honesty was the only way to go many times growing up. So many times that it was drilled into her brain and she knew that she'd never forget it.
Honesty wasn't easy when the stakes were so high. She knew it from first hand experience. It was either Chris or no Chris and with only one second thought coming from her conscience, she chose Chris.
"Gracie?" he said softly in her ear. "Can we go inside?"
She pulled away from him, nodding as she took his hand and led him through the doors. "I need to tell you something, Chris."
As every second passed by, it never left Justin's mind... not even once. His thoughts were cluttered with Gracie and Chris and his heart hurt so bad that he felt like crying out in pain. Before, all he wanted was to get between them and break them up, but now he just wanted out... only it wasn't possible anymore.
He flipped over in his bunk and stared at the curtain that ruffled as the bus went over tiny bumps in the road.
The fact that he might be becoming a father scared him. He thought of a little baby... he was holding the baby in his arms and rocking him to sleep. Then he thought of Chris, and he felt sick and selfish. He felt like he had messed everything up... and he cried.
He grabbed his pillow so tightly that his arms started to become numb. Honestly, he didn't know what to do and his thoughts drifted back to the baby... and he felt guilty for wanting the baby to be his.
He sat there in his bunk for so long that tears ran down his cheeks and fell to his pillow. He had made himself so upset, that he felt a headache coming on and he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep until he took some aspirin.
He got up and made his way to the kitchen area. Blindly, he reached inside of a cupboard, searching for the correct bottle.
"What are you doing up?"
Justin wiped his eyes, afraid that JC would see that he was crying. "I have a headache," he explained. "I can't sleep."
"Oh," JC replied.
Justin finally found the aspirin and looked over at JC's shadowed face. JC stared back, looking at Justin's red eyes and tearstained cheeks. "Are you okay? You look upset."
"I don't wanna talk about it," Justin muttered, turning away from JC and grabbing a bottle of water from the refridgerator. He popped two pills in his mouth.
"Sit down," JC offered, gesturing to the booth across from himself.
Justin downed the water and wiped his mouth. He set down the glass, moving his eyes back to JC and not looking away. "Why do you care?"
"Cause you're my friend. That's why."
Justin reluctantly sat down and gazed out the window. "Some friend..." he mumbled, knowing that he wasn't upset because of JC. It had nothing to do with him, he just wanted him to THINK that it did.
"I DO care, Justin. No matter what you think, I do."
Justin didn't look at him. He kind of wanted to tell someone, but right then, he didn't really trust JC. "Never mind. This isn't even about you."
JC was surprised. It WASN'T about him? "Then what's wrong?"
Justin finally looked at JC through his red eyes. "I can't tell you," he said clearly.
"Why not?"
"Because I can't trust you."
JC leaned back. Ouch. He felt bad for hurting Justin, obviously, but now Justin didn't TRUST him? Well, sure he had lied and all... but he expected people to understand more then they did. "I'm sick of hurting, Justin. I'm sick of hurting you and Chris. I'm tired of all of this!"
"Get in line, JC. Take a number. You're not the only one who's sick of it. And, JC... you don't even know the HALF of it. Just be glad that you're not involved in this mess anymore."
JC began to get curious. What else could be going on that he didn't know about? "I wish you'd tell me," he sighed.
Justin caught himself thinking about the baby again, and he closed his eyes. "I wish I COULD tell you."
"I don't get it... why can't you? Did you promise something to someone?"
"It's not only that," Justin said in a serious tone as he opened his eyes. "If I tell you, then you'll be mixed up in this again... and you'd have to do something that would make things worse... you'd make Chris hate you more," he explained.
"Can't you tell me anything?"
Justin was silent for a moment as he thought over the facts. "I can't, JC. Sorry. The only thing you can do to help is to stay out of it." He stood up. "I'm serious, JC... Don't get involved. You'll regret knowing."
JC watched Justin walk back to his bunk and he pushed his bottle of water back and forth on the counter while he thought about Justin's words.
"Don't get involved," he said under his breath as the water sloshed from one side to another in the plastic bottle. "You'll regret knowing."
Suddenly, he looked up from the bottle at a random point near the front of the bus. The water bottle slipped to the floor and made a clunk sound as it fell to the bottom of the bus. He had an idea of what was going on, but in his mind it sounded so farfetched that he doubted it were true.
"No more lies," he whispered to himself. "From now on you'll be working with the truth."
Chris seemed happier than ever, and it crushed Gracie that she'd either give him a reason to be happier, even though it would be a false happy, or he'd become upset with her. Who knew what would happen THEN?
She sat down next to him on the couch and patted his knee. "Chris, I don't really know any other way to tell you this, so I guess I'll just have to come right out and say it."
Chris picked up on her worry and he took her hand in his, pulling him closer. "Gracie, what's wrong? I can tell you're nervous about something." He stopped when she parted her lips to speak.
"I don't think it's that bad... it's not bad, Chris... I just don't know how you're going to feel about it."
"Gracie," he said her name again and her heart melted. "Tell me."
She couldn't tell him about Justin... she knew that she couldn't. She had to pretend that Justin never came to apartment that night and that she never slept with him.
"I'm pregnant."
The aspirin started to kick in and Justin found himself able to think a lot more clearly than before. He was still thinking about Chris and Gracie... and the baby. What if Gracie got caught in a lie and was forced to tell Chris the truth?
He couldn't let that happen.
Silently, he tiptoed to the entertainment area and curled up on the couch, cradling his cell phone in his palm.
'This lie will be eating away at you for the rest of your life if you don't make things right, Justin. Besides, how can you keep lying to Chris... not to mention everyone else?'
"Gracie knows," he whispered.
'But Chris might forgive you. You know he can't stay mad at you for very long. He did the same thing to you when you were going out with Gracie. Remember?
"That was different."
'How?'
Justin thought hard. Chris had been pretending to be him and he had been pretending to be Chris. The roles had been reversed in both situations. What was different?
'She's pregnant, Justin.'
That was it. He was so angry when it happened and so hurt that he did things that were completely irrational. He didn't think of the consequences and now they kept hitting him in the face over and over again. Every time it was quiet, every time he dazed off, and every time he looked Chris in the eyes... the truth was there and it wasn't going to go away. Not ever... not unless he told the told Chris.
Chris was frozen, no reaction registering on his face. It was hard to tell what was going through his mind when he sat there like that, his eyes fixed on her and not moving a fraction of a millimeter.
She squeezed his hand. "Chris, did you hear me?"
He nodded slightly, slowly coming out of his trance. "Wow..." he whispered as tears came to his eyes and a smile appeared on his face. "I'm going to be a dad?"
Reluctantly, she nodded, knowing deep down that she'd be hurting him, but she nodded again and wiped away his tears. "That's okay with you, right?"
Chris took a deep breath and pulled her into his arms. "Of course it is," he whispered.
Just when she was about to kiss him, the phone rang. "Ignore that," she said and kissed him anyway.
He pulled away. "Maybe you should get that. It might be important."
Gracie sighed as she reached for her cordless. "Hello?"
"Gracie, it's me. Please tell me that you didn't tell him. I've been sitting up worrying about it all night. I'm a nervous wreck, Gracie. Tell me you didn't tell him!"
Gracie looked over at Chris. "April, you don't have to worry about anything, okay?"
"April?!" Justin's confused voice came through the phone. "Who's April?"
"That's right. You have nothing to get upset about. Now, get some sleep and I'll call you tomorrow. Talk to you later, April." And she hung up.
Justin stared at the phone. It took a moment for what just happened to register. He pulled a blanket up from the floor and covered himself, still hugging his cell phone nervously.
Obviously, Chris had been with her and what she said was a cover while assuring him at the same time. He felt a little better, but not completely.
He closed his eyes and thought of all black. He just concentrated on his breathing and finally fell asleep.
The next stop on the tour was Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Two exhausted men as well as two hyper men got out of the bus and walked into a studio building. With Chris missing, the atmosphere that surrounded them was completely different.
It was nine AM and Justin still hadn't heard from Chris or Gracie. What was taking them so long?
Sure, Chris never said he'd call him that day, but Justin thought that he should call no matter what. If HE had found out news like that, HE'D want to tell his best friend. He'd want to tell everyone.
'But, Justin." The voice was back. "You DID find out the same news that Chris is finding out.... YOU didn't tell anyone. Why should he?'
It was totally different.
'That's your answer for everything. Stop thinking about what's different and start focusing on the similarities, Justin...' the voice echoed in his tired mind. 'You need to tell Chris the truth.'
"I can't," he said out loud.
"Can't what?" JC asked, overhearing Justin's words.
Justin tensed up. "Do this without Chris," he covered. "It's not the same without him."
JC's face went neutral. "It's just an interview. He'll be back for the concert tonight."
"He's with Gracie, you know."
"I figured."
It was nine fifteen when Gracie opened her eyes and saw the alarm clock. She hadn't slept well and she started to close her eyes again, but Chris had seen her move.
"Are you up, Gracie?" he said gently, his breath warming her ear.
"Mm hmm. I have a class in an hour and I need to get ready."
"Okay," he agreed, letting her slip out of his arms and watching as she drifted towards the bathroom.
He wasn't an idiot. He could tell that something wasn't right with Gracie. Only he figured she was worried about telling her parents that she was pregnant. What else could it be?
Chapter 5
Identities
Chris {Fiction}
Justin {Fiction}
My Fiction
I'll Never Stop {Fiction}
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