"How do you want me to choose, Justin?" Chris yelled back. "Do you know how this is tearing me up in side? It hurts so bad and there's NOTHING I can do!"
Justin turned away. He knew what he was asking Chris to do and to be honest, he couldn't think of anything else that would fix the situation. Maybe if he just gave in and let Chris have Gracie... "Chris..." he said softly. "I'm sorry, but this hurts me too. YOU'RE the one who fell in love with her. You can't blame this on ME."
JC sat between them. "Start packing guys. We can talk more on the bus."
"Packing?!" both Justin and Chris exclaimed in unison.
"That's right. We're leaving for Pittsburgh. We have a radio interview and we need to be there by morning."
Justin couldn't help but smile. Now Chris would be away from Gracie. Maybe things could go back to normal.
It was three AM and all five members of Nsync were in the bus on their way to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Everyone was sleeping... well, everyone but Chris and Justin.
Justin was in his bottom bunk staring at the mattress above himself. He was really tired, but he couldn't sleep... too many thoughts were racing through his already overworked mind.
He had to admit that he wanted his best friend back but if that was going to happen, he'd have to give up his pride... forget about Gracie. How could he forget about Gracie if she was going to be with Chris? It was going to be something he'd have to learn to live with.
Meanwhile, Chris sat alone in the entertainment room. He was stretched out on the couch with his phone on his lap. He wanted to call Gracie but for some reason he couldn't. It was either because of Justin's words or because of what she said last time he talked to her.
"Chris... we really need to talk."
Her words echoed in his ears and he frowned. What was she talking about? Was it something serious?
Gracie was still in her apartment, deciding on whether to tell Chris about what Justin did. If she told him then he'd be mad at Justin and things would get even WORSE than they already were. But if she didn't tell him, then there'd always be that secret between them that might eat away at their relationship... if there even WAS a relationship.
Finally, she made up her mind and picked up her new phone. It only rang once before he answered.
"Hello?" his voice came through the phone in almost a whisper.
"Chris, where are you?"
"We're on our way to Pittsburgh. I'm sorry I had to leave without saying good-bye, but things blew up at the hotel and JC just ushered us out to the bus before we got to finish talking about it."
"What happened?"
"Justin knows about us."
Gracie pretended to be surprised. "He DOES? How did he figure it out?"
"I don't know... but he did. He was really upset, Gracie... you should have seen him."
"What are you gonna do?"
She heard Chris sigh, "I don't know."
The next day after the radio interview, Justin approached Chris. Before Justin could get a word out, Chris spoke up.
He held up his hands. "If you're going to ask me to choose again, I can't. I won't. How could I choose, Justin? You're my best friend..."
"Chris," Justin said his name softly as he looked into Chris' brown eyes. He had thought about apologizing last night and now it seemed like the only thing to do. He felt like if could see right through Chris' chest... he'd be looking at a broken heart. Not from love... but from a friend who betrayed him.
'But, Justin,' a voice whispered. 'He betrayed you first. He did the exact same thing to you that you did to him. Why should you apologize?'
"But it wasn't the same," Justin whispered back, only to receive an odd look from Chris.
"What did you say?"
Justin snapped back into reality at the sound of Chris' voice. "Uh... It's not the same anymore and I don't think it ever will be... but I don't want to fight anymore. Can't we just be civil?"
"Civil?" Chris echoed. "Civil?! You've got to be kidding me! Do you even know what you're saying, Justin?"
"I'm saying that I don't want to fight with you anymore! Isn't that a good thing?"
"Like I said before, Justin... you're my best-" he stopped, turning away and crossing his arms. "Fine. We'll be civil... we'll be POLITE, but you do realize that we can't be best friends anymore if that's the way we do this."
"Chris, I want to be friends with you. Don't you get it?"
Chris felt more tears come to his eyes. He was losing his best friend and he knew it. He felt as though he couldn't trust the man he used to love as his own brother anymore. Was Justin just saying that to manipulate the situation to his own advantage or did he really feel the way he said he did? He didn't know... and he felt guilty for even thinking about it.
Gracie had been miserable since the second she hung up the phone. He was gone and she didn't know when he'd be back. Last time he left, she didn't see him for a year. As she slumped down in the recliner, she let out a sigh, thinking about the first time he left. It was in THAT second, the second his brown eyes met her eyes in a teary stair, and he whispered, "Hasta luego," that she realized she would die loving him.
In the year that he'd been gone, she had thought about him everyday and every time the phone rang, she'd pray to hear his voice on the other line... but he was always busy, and rarely called.
The three short days that he'd been in town went by much quicker than she ever would have thought. In those three days, a lot happened... some of which she would do differently if she could go back in time and some of which she would NEVER change.
Justin was a mistake and she could never let Chris know what had happened between them. It was Justin's fault, not hers, but if Chris knew, then two relationships would be ruined... if they weren't already, that is.
Chris took a deep breath. "I think I get it," he sighed, finally turning back to face Justin. "You can't have her so you don't want me to have her either."
Justin narrowed his eyes. "What?"
"You heard me. This isn't about our friendship anymore," he said loudly, looking Justin straight in the eyes. It's about your damn pride."
"What?" Justin repeated. "I can't believe you're turning this around on me! You're the one who stole MY girlfriend so don't you DARE blame this on my pride. I've got a hell of a lot of right to come after you, you know. I was TRYING to be NICE."
"Nice," Chris scoffed. "If you consider nice as being the ICE king!"
"Excuse me?"
"Your head is so damn bloated that you can't even THINK straight."
Justin was shocked at the words coming out of Chris' mouth. Chris had always been the one telling him that he was proud of Justin for remaining so grounded. Was it all a lie?
He felt the words eating him from the inside out and tears came to his eyes. "I don't have to listen to this," he tried to choke out in a strong voice before turning around and walking away.
Chris stood there, staring after him as walked towards the exit. The words exchanged between the two of them were still ringing in his ears when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped.
It was Lance. "Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost or something."
"Or something," Chris replied, still staring at the doorway that Justin had walked through.
Justin opened the doors to the bus and flew to his bunk, flopping down on his sleeping bag and hugging his pillow as he stared out at the bunk across from himself... Chris' bunk. He whipped the curtain shut and watched as everything around him seemed to be becoming blurry. He blinked, letting tears fall to his flushed cheeks.
'A nightmare,' he thought as he wiped his tears away. 'That's what this is.'
Suddenly, he heard two feet clomping up the stairs and he panicked... he didn't want anyone to see him crying.
"Justin?" JC's voice called out. "Are you in here?"
Justin sat up, but didn't say anything. JC opened his curtain and peered at him. His attempt of getting away didn't work.
JC took one look at Justin's face and sighed. "Oh no... what happened?"
Justin fell back on his mattress. "You should have heard the things he said to me..."
"What?" JC asked, sitting on the edge of Justin's bed. "When?"
"Ten minutes ago. He told me that my head is too bloated for me to think straight... he said that I have too much pride... and he didn't say it nicely either. He said it to HURT me."
"I don't think he wanted to hurt you, Justin."
"Think what you want, but he DID," Justin mumbled into his pillow.
JC patted Justin's back. "Pull yourself together, man... we're heading to the venue soon. In the meantime, I'm going to have a talk with Chris."
"Fine," Justin agreed. "Just don't tell him that you saw me like this. I don't want him to think that he hurt me.
"I won't," JC promised as he stood up and walked towards the bus' exit. He opened the doors and immediately found Chris sitting on the curb a few feet away from the bus. He had a stick in his hand and was drawing in the dirt. JC walked down the stairs, closed the doors and sat down next to him. Before he could say anything, Chris spoke.
"Is he upset?"
JC sighed. "I'm not going to lie to you..."
"Did you talk to him?"
JC nodded.
"Some of the things I said... I really didn't mean. JC, I was just so upset. Did he tell you how he wanted to handle the situation?"
JC shook his head.
"He said that he wanted us to be CIVIL towards each other. Civil... like people who've just met... who hardly known each other."
JC raised his eyebrows. "He SAID that?"
"Well," Chris sighed. "Not in those exact words... but that's what he meant." He drew a circle and then scribbled it out, drawing a square instead. "He DID say civil."
"Civil," JC contemplated.
"It hurt, JC. There I was, trying to work things out and he wanted to forget about our friendship and just be NICE to each other. I'll admit it, I lashed out at him. He hurt me and I just wanted him to know it."
JC narrowed his eyes and stared at the bus' tire, letting the whole situation come into light. "This has got to end," he concluded, "I'm going to fix this and YOU'RE going to help me."
Chris brushed off JC's words and sighed, drawing a squiggly line through his square. "You can't help. I can't think of one way that you can help."
JC didn't look at him. "Give me Gracie's address."
Chris looked up from his drawing. "What? Why?"
"I've talked to you, I've talked to him and there's only person in this who I haven't heard from."
"Damn it, JC, this is none of your business! Stay out!"
"It becomes my business when Justin threatens to leave the group! We've been over this before!"
"Did he say that he wanted to leave again? Is THAT what this is about? You're just trying to save your OWN ass. You don't even CARE about me, or Justin, or Gracie. This is about you being without Nsync. You can't stand that we might break up!"
JC was speechless as Chris stood up and stomped into the bus, slamming the door behind himself.
"That's not true!" JC finally shouted at the closed door.
Chris slumped down in the booth and looked out through the tinted window and into the street. "Nice job, dumb ass," he muttered to himself. "Now, not only does Justin hate you... but JC does too."
He grabbed a fork from the table top and poked at the edge of the table.
"I don't hate you."
Chris turned his head to see Justin standing there towards the back of the buss. Justin walked over to the booth and slid in across from Chris.
"What do you mean, you don't hate me?" Chris wondered, looking across the table and into Justin's eyes. He quickly looked away... the whites of his eyes were pink and it was obvious that he had been crying.
"Exactly what I said," Justin replied. "I DON'T hate you." He paused, analyzing Chris' expression. "And what did you say to JC to make him hate you?"
Chris sighed, tapping the fork against the table. "I yelled at him for not minding his own business."
"He was only trying to help."
"I know. I was just upset. All of this is taking a toll on me."
Justin chuckled. "On YOU? What about me?"
"I never said that this wasn't hurting you... but Justin, I don't know how to fix things."
"Then why won't you let JC help?"
Chris wouldn't answer him. He didn't want Justin to know what JC's idea of 'help' was. Why break the wound open again?
"Chris," Justin said and Chris looked up at him. "Why? What did he say? How did he want to help?"
"You're forcing me to talk about this, Justin. I don't want to hurt you anymore."
Justin rolled his eyes. "Please... spare me and just tell me what the hell it is that JC wanted to do."
"He wanted to talk to Gracie," Chris answered quickly.
It was Justin's turn to be silent.
"I'll be honest with you," Chris started. "When I sit here and look at you I realize how important our friendship is... and trust me, I don't want to lose it. But... Justin... I love Gracie and-"
"You can't have everything," Justin interrupted.
"I know... but..." he stopped. "Haven't we had this exact same conversation before? When will this end?"
"I don't know, Chris... but I know that it won't until one of us gives in."
Chris raised his eyebrows and looked at him hopefully. "Couldn't we meet each other half way?"
"How?"
Chris thought about it. How? That had to have been the hardest question anyone had ever asked him. How could they meet half way? The way he saw it was simple; Justin should forget about Gracie and they could move on with their lives. 'But Justin,' he thought, 'probably wants ME to forget about Gracie.' Was there a middle ground?
Chris sighed. "I don't know."
Justin matched his sigh. "I was afraid you'd say that." He grabbed the fork from Chris and set it down. "Stop that tapping!"
"Sorry."
"It's either you or me, Chris."
Chris looked up from the fork and at Justin. "Huh?"
"One of us has to give in here," he explained.
"Oh! I thought you meant one of us had to quit group of something," Chris chuckled nervously.
"One of us WILL if we can't get through this."
Chris' smile faded and they just stared at each other.
Justin wanted Chris to pick him over Gracie. How had they let some girl come between them in the first place? In that second, he wasn't sure if he could forgive Chris for not willing to choose between them. Shouldn't he be more important to Chris than a girl he had met just a little over a year ago? Wasn't the answer obvious?
Just then, the bus doors opened and Joey and Lance flew in... JC trailing behind them with his hands in his pockets. Lonny climbed in, followed by James who announced that they were on their way to the venue.
JC eyed Justin and Chris, raising his eyebrows at the fact that they were sitting together, but he didn't approach them. He didn't even say anything. All he did was walk by, following Joey and Lance past the bunks and into the entertainment room.
Chris and Justin retreated to their bunks to think over possible solutions.
Chapter 5
Identities
Chris {Fiction}
Justin {Fiction}
My Fiction
I'll Never Stop {Fiction}
Email me: irishgirl982@yahoo.com