"Mazeltov, it's a boy!" -Neil

"I shouldn't have said that was a human, 'cause he went on the ground, and that isn't right!" -Mrs. Elwood, drawing the nitrogen cycle and elaborate stick figure pix of people pooping on the ground

"If I was you and you were me, I'd kick me in the nuts right now." -Andy C.

"You guys don't even FAKE-work!" -bio sub

"Let's write a couple of things down so we can say we did something today." -Miss Najem

"Some people really get off on shoes..." -Miss Mac

Cutie Patootie: MONKEY! PRINCESS! Don't throw them out the window!!!!!

Kelsey (reading old email): "Hey, here's one from you about the time I fell and sliced my boobie!" Me: "Hey, wouldn't it have been cool if you had a little ski-cam on your head so I could've seen you fall?"

*mermermermermermermermermermermermermermermermermermer* (If you don't get it, watch The Emperor's New Groove)

By far the funniest bathroom grafitti I have ever witnessed at Central..."I'm wearing James A's trenchcoat and I plan to sell it on E-Bay. Who'll give me $30?" LMFAO!!!!!

Banana Brad!

Hello, I would like to introduce you to my best friend Errrn! Bernardo! Trrrrrrm! (if you weren't at SYMS, don't even bother asking)

James: "Conspiracy theory is Renée's forté!"

Tim (C.): "I could buy you some porn." Me: "But that's the porn stars benefitting from that, not me!" Tim: "Well, uh, then we'll steal some porn." 'Kay!... Well, I guess it's ok if you're 18 lol...

You must be this tall to ride Tim's leg!

SYMS 2001: Sarah goes in the closet, pees in a plastic cup, and sets it outside on the windowsill. Next time you're at UNH in room 710, that's why it smells kinda funny in there.

Dan and Pete: "Name a street that borders Central." Paul: *blank look* Pete: *hinting* "Try a tree name." Paul: "Uh, Redwood?"

Frosty

Steaming up the windows...lol Tim

Going to Ed's house

Jimmy - "We should have a brass choir sleepover!" Uh, I'll pass.

"Mrs. Grinnell, just so you know, this is pumpkin that I spilled on my pants." -Tim

"I don't know what I'd do if I had an anal fissure. I'd probably kill myself." -Neil S.

Cen-ral Pride!

"In the grand scheme of things, eating the raw cookie dough is definitely worth a week spent sleeping in the bathroom!!!"

"C'mere, little chocolate chip cookie, get in my car...want some candy?" *aside to Marissa* "...Now's when I take it out into the woods and molest it!"

Tim's grand theft of sparkly fruit from the Dollar Store (we made him put it back and he ran like hell hehe...)

Marissa...CRAZY TIPS!!! "What color?"

Mrs. Elwood's potato semen starch lab

Now that was most definitely a sexual innuendo!

A Renée monologue...Me: *Staring at bowl of blueberries and milk* "Wow, my blueberries look black. Why aren't they called blackberries? But then again, if blueberries were blackberries, what would we call blackberries...lumpberries?"

The weight-loss answering machine message!

"Bull-shit!...don't quote me on that."

"I'm a Cheez-It racist...I only like the white cheddar ones."

"Hey, Jessi, did you drive on Caleph yet? Well, did he like it?" Hehe. Should we even bother to tell Tim who he REALLY is?

"Dirty! Your bed is dirty, Dirty...and that's the kind of dirty you can't wash off!"

Waltz of the Viennese Strippers

"I wanna tie someone to my bed with spaghetti!"

"Rindy-y...the cool kid just barfed on me!!!"

"Who brought the cool kid?" "Ooh, ooh, it was ME!"

Marcia's squishberries and mocha fudge ice cream

"Bite me!...No, wait, I didn't actually mean it!"

"Oy, Ralph, where's my hoe?"

Krysie! Sing me the Fisherman Bob song again..."

"Hey, nice feet. Wanna fuck?"

Mr. J's 15-minute fly

"Morgan, get on the table NOW!"

Jason and the Circle of Crap

Mod G

Pedro's un-hole-some shorts ("I brought another pair to change into just in case I get yelled at...")

Me: "You Maine people and your tongue condoms. Well, here in New Hampshire we can't afford that level of protection...*ties Twizzler around tongue*...It's a NH dental dam!"

J: white lines, white lines! :o)

Did they really pay for that lady's gas?

Aerodynamic windshield Twizzlers

Me: "McDonald's sucks! I'm never going there again! I..." Jessi's large (McDonald's-purchased) root beer: *falls out of the cupholder and lands upside down/spills its entire contents all over my feet*

Charlie (on cell phone): "Where do you guys wanna go to eat, McDonald's or Wendy's?" Me: "Uh, we've already been to both for lunch..."

"Quick, Blobby, to the Fatmobile!"

"Whoooaaa...that guy looks like Dave Matthews!"

Fairy Bowling

"Ren-ape! Ren-ape! Auggggh!"

Renée and Tim Myers: masters of the art of online boxing (BAM! WHAM!)

Mental slappage

Eehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *rolls eeyes*

Craig: "I do mildly care about a few people..."

Driving back from Keene late at night, trying to remember all the words to the 101 Dalmatians and Pocahontas songs

Sign in the ladies' room at BU (according to Marcia): "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and clean the seat!"

*after a whipped cream fight* "You guys...I can't see! I think it's in my eyes."

Hampstahz!...He's still stuck under the damn sofa

To Gershona: "If someone knocks on the door when you're getting out of the shower or something and you tell them you're naked...well, that's a bad idea! What if it was a rapist or something?" Kate: "I don't think a rapist would knock, Renée!"

Andy to Renée: "Don't ever get injured in Manchester, Hooksett, or Candia." Me: "Why?" Andy: "Because if I'm on the ambulance team, that means I can legally take your clothes off..."

The French whore coat

Mor-gan, give me back my sca-arf...

Craig to Renée: "I'll master pimp your world, baby!"

Linz, while we were finishing up an economics report due next mod: "We totally pulled that out of our asses!"

Marcia's jar of coconut monkey semen

Trista - remember, now, children..."Don't go out into the woods alone. There are men out there that like little boyth..."

The evil, evil table in the music department that nearly castrated Seth and bit Dorinda's and my bottoms on several occasions...