WAITING
FOR EUPHORIA
They say it’s the pinnacle
of euphoria you will ever experience in a year. Where your pupils dilate, your
throat desiccates, your tongue twitters and your heart palpitates. Celestial
life forms descend in all their pristine beauty on us. The iconoclasts can
rebel, the herd headed can mingle with other herd head………basically, you can
freak!!!!!! Ya I know, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that a
fest is in the air.
Ring the
bells, beat the drums…..the babes are coming. Like salivating wolves we are
gonna pounce on ’em!!
Spaced out
junta react to the rosy future in their own inimitable style. A perspicacious
listener can pick out the underlying anxiety to perform among the crowd.
For example, a freshie, inspired by the
local calls made to an industrious senior who was cogent enough to hit the
bull’s eye during a previous utopia on earth, starts to brush up his social
skills. His friends become the unwitting sufferers of his queries on the
nuances of attracting the attention of the opposite sex. “Is this the way I
shake her hand, in little jerks, or in a nice continuous movement” OR “How can
I say my name is Balls, P (also Q, V, T) Balls?” “I am sure in am gonna get a
KLPD…..so why bother looking at them?” These are a sample of beginner’s shenigens.
Well then
…..Along will come a stud and announce with an ecclesiastical air, “See
da…always look at her eye balls…..not the…..er…… other ones. Whatever you say,
don’t try and impress her with your CGP. Best way to impress them is to offer
them a free pass to the proshows……expensive, but works.” Another stud
antagonized by this by this omniscient lady killer will trivialize this whole
exercise by saying, “Pack da…only thing I have to worry about is that patch of
hair on my back. Otherwise they will come to me like this!” followed by a snap
of fingers.
Another
species will be the stressed out co-ords, who, after many night-outs and
dealing with the guardians of Indian culture (which can be a very frustrating
exercise mind you…after many of your ideas have been made to undergo ‘subtle’
changes) are so whacked out…sample this, “Where is the rock show….sorry …the
Western Music concert gonna be held?”
“In the OAT”
“In the
OAT??….wh….where exactly ….inside the OAT?”
The other guy gapes at him incredulously
and then answers, insouciantly, “In the top-right corner …where else?”
Now it is the co-ord’s turn to get
perplexed.
And again, there are those preparing and practicing for some arbit competition. The singers are welcome to their riyaaz, but there are these fools who are actually practicing ‘Miss. WORLD-like’ answers, for some personality contest. Basically, many have grasped the funda that “the Lowest IQ wins.” So they try to outdo each other by answering “research in the bogs” to the question, “What is the most intellectually stimulating thing you do on campus?”
For most, it
is just another weeklong holiday. For the profs, it is just another nail in the
coffin for Indian culture. For the apathic few, it is a good break to mug
harder. For the pessimist, it’s an
event which will only showcase his egregious faults if he tries something and
so…he is sulking throughout. For the optimist, it is another opportunity for
“Carpe diem”….Grab the moment.
What
is it for you?
-Satcho