PSEUDE vs. COUNTRY
Our last hostel nite has left many
memories. One of them surely is that of the tussles and
skirmishes that preceded the choice of the theme for the hostel
nite. Initially, after the first brainstorming session on the B3
terrace, it was decided to project "Indian Village" as
the theme. This decision led to great hue and cry from some
sections in the hostel. It was demanded that we hold another
session to reconsider the decision "taken in a hurry".
The session was held in the mess and one could clearly see the
battle lines drawn. The disgruntled junta considered the theme to
be rather too "country" and felt that our hostel nite
deserved a better theme. The advocates of the "Indian
Village" spoke eloquently on the need for patriotism among
IITians (though the intention to fly when the opportunity came
was still there) and of the romanticism of the rural India. They
argued that while the "Gaulish Village" (that was the
theme two years ago) was a "psuede" theme, how could
"Indian Village" be termed "country"?
History has it how finally a compromise was struck and 'Malgudi
Nites' was made the theme. Well, this article is not intended to
be a flashback on our last hostel night. The idea is to study the
two broad categories of people who inhabit our IIT. Call them by
any names, however here I would prefer to refer to them as the
"Pseudes" and the "Countries". This is an
attempt to find common characteristics of an ideal 'pseude' and a
complete 'country'.
A pseude is identified by his tastes, outlook and attitude. He is
of the stylish kind. He listens ONLY to the rock kinda stuff. The
cheap pop and Hindi filmi music have no place in his collection.
Among movies, he watches only the quality Hollywood movies. He
doesn't give a hoot to the desi masala movies. Clothes-wise, he
would normally be seen wearing high-branded jeans and T-shirts
carrying some catchy wording or pictures - a big no-no to formal
clothes. Most often than not, you would see him on a trendy motor
bike (not ANY powered two-wheeler), either riding or as a pillion
rider. Pseudes and bicycles don't go well with each other. But
then if forced to use a bicycle, they would prefer a geared one.
Apart from that you would be surprised if you chanced to see them
in the mess. They visit the mess once in a while only to check if
the quality of grub had improved since they last ate there. Their
SAC bills often compete with the basic mess bill. When
eating-out, a pseude would prefer to go to places like Pizza Hut,
Pizza Corner, Domino's and Coffee Day. However, sometimes they
could settle for a place like Shakes and Creams. Never invite a
pseude when you are going to tarams or vels. That will save you
the embarrassment. You never know how often a pseude takes bath,
but he always smells of some high-brand deo. When it comes to
books, a pseude would rather die than read an Indian author. A
book by Michael Crichton or John Grisham may be of his taste.
Pseudes are normally good at sports, music and best at handling
gals. They use polished or high-sounding or informal English as
the situation demands. When needed, they can also come out with
the choicest of abuses. On the whole, the essence of
being pseude is being different or at least striving to be
different. Also, there is surely an element of truth in the
dictionary meaning of the word "Pseud" (from which
"Pseude" is
derived) - "person who tries to bemore knowledgeable,
fashionable or cultured than he really is; pretentious and
affected person."
A "Country" on the other hand is a guy with
"unrefined" tastes. An average country would be a great
lover of Hindi filmi music. He would put grand slams or
night-outs to watch all the newly released Hindi movies. You can
also expect him to bunk OAT movies, the reason for which he would
secretly confide in you to be his lack of understanding. One main
characteristic of a country is his continuous attempts to
"pseudify" himself. He wears jeans and T-shirt, though
he is more comfortable in formal clothes. (An honest country,
however is an exception.) When going for an eat-out countries
would prefer a dhaba. They have a belief that the best tea in the
world is made in Tarams and vels. The basic distinguishing
feature between a pseude and a country is the use of language. A
pseude feels it's below his standing to speak in his mother
tongue but a country loves to flaunt his hold on his mother
tongue and uses English only when it's absolutely necessary,
which could be only when answering the roll call. Countries are
judicious spenders of money and would not spare even closest of
their friends when it comes to financial matters. But at times of
need a country can be your most reliable friend. A country
normally keeps a low profile and doesn't yearn for limelight.
Being country can be broadly taken as being traditional and
conventional.
[By now you would have concluded that the writer of this piece is
an cynic. But, the opinions expressed herein don't belong to the
writer. The writer has only made an attempt to put in black and
white how the two categories view each other. One point needs a
mention. No person is an absolute "pseude" or a
complete "country". There is a pseude and a country in
everyone, only the proportions differ.]