EVERYTHING’S THE SAME… SIR !!!
MR.A.S.SUBRAMANYAM, (POPULARLY
KNOWN AS ASS BY HIS FRIENDS) WAS SUFFERING FROM HYPERTENSION AND WAS ADVISED BY
HIS PSYCHIATRIST TO GO FOR A VACATION TO WHERE ELSE BUT KHANDALA. AFTER A LONG
AND EVENTFUL TRIP, HE RETURNS AND IS GREETED BY HIS CHAUFFER WHO HAS COME TO
RECEIVE HIM ON THE RAILWAY STATION.
JOHN: WELCOME BACK, SIR!
ASS: HELLO JOHN, HOW ARE YOU?
JOHN: ABSOLUTELY FINE, SIR!
ASS: SO HOW’S IT GOING HERE? DID ANYTHING IMPORTANT HAPPEN IN MY ABSENCE?
JOHN: NO SIR, EVERYTHING IS EXACTLY THE SAME. NOTHING HAS
CHANGED.
ASS: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? ANY SMALL THING THAT YOU CAN REMEMBER?
JOHN: UMM…HMMM…AHA YES SIR, YOUR LITTLE DOG HAS DIED.
ASS: WHAT? MY DOG HAS DIED! MY POOR LITTLE JIMMY…HOW DID HE DIE?
JOHN: HE DIED OF EATING BURNT HORSEFLESH.
ASS: BURNT…HORSE…FLESH…? NOW WHERE THE HELL DID HE GET THAT FROM?
JOHN: UMM…YOUR HORSES HAVE DIED AS WELL!
ASS: MY HORSES, DEAD!! HOW?
JOHN: SIR SPARKS FROM THE HOUSE, THEY SPREAD TO THE ROOF OF THE
STABLE, THE STABLE CAUGHT FIRE, AND YOUR HORSES DIED. YOUR LITTLE DOG RAN INTO
THE STABLE AND ATE THE BURNT FLESH AND THE REST AS THEY SAY IS HISTORY.
ASS: (ALMOST COLLAPSING) SPARKS FROM MY HOUSE??? NOW JOHN PLEASE
DON’T TELL ME THAT MY HOUSE IS BURNT DOWN AS WELL!
JOHN: YOU’VE GOT YHAT RIGHT SIR! THAT AHS BEEN REDUCED TO ASHES.
ASS: JOHN! TELL ME THE WHOLE STORY WLL YA?
JOHN: CANDLES! CANDLES WERE BURNING, THERE WAS A GUST OF WIND
WND THE CURTAINS CAUGHT THE FLAMES. THE FIRE SPREAD AND SOON THE WHOLE HOUSE
WAS ON FIRE. THEN THE FIRE SPREAD TO THE BARN AND THE STABLE.
ASS: CANDLES??? WHERE DID THE CANDLES COME FROM?
JOHN: (MATTER FO FACTLY) THE CANDLES WERE BESIDE A COFFIN, SIR.
ASS: COFFIN! NOW WHO’S DEAD?
JOHN: YOUR RESPECTED MOTHER-IN-LAW, SIR.
ASS: (ELATED) WHAT! MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS DEAD! WOW! I WILL GIVE YOU A RAISE FOR CONVEYING THIS GOOD NEWS. BUT HOW DID SHE DIE?
JOHN: SHE DIED FROM THE SHOCK SHE RECEIVED WHEN SHE CAME TO KNOW
THAT THEIR DAUGHTER MARRIED THE CHAUFFER. (ASS
COLLAPSES)
JOHN: EVERYTHING IS EXACTLY THE SAME, SIR!!!
--MAMMO#266C