CONFESSIONS OF A B3 TIGER
I am a B-3 tiger…. That
loathsome creature which fills all his hostel mates’ heart with an instinctive feeling of disgust. The
only commonality in all the B-3 tigers is that they are unanimously the most annoying simians alive….
Followed very closely by the monkey
around the hostel.
But I wasn’t like this from the beginning. Believe me, I could never even
fathom the depths to which I have fallen. I mean how else can I account for the
fact that till last year I used to bathe everyday, and now, I try to have a go
at it once in a week( incidentally the whole wing accounts for more than 50% of
the deodorant sales in Madras.)…. Have I changed?
Another peculiar feature of this unique animal – B3 tiger, is his open
and unbridled attraction for his own kind….. if you know what I mean. Seeing a man excites more passion in us
than a girl in scant clothing ….again the transition has left me wondering… I
guess I have changed . And yes, the B-3
tiger is famous for his hibernating habits. The sleeping hours of the B-3
tigers are so long , that “it” is often compared to a ‘Zanzibar Beetle” ( Note:
the ‘Zanzibar beetle’ has a lifespan of 4-months, out of which, it can move
around for approximately 24 hours ).
The B-3 tiger has
unique ability to sleep off at any time
of the day, and then get up at the oddest of hours….. an example of which is
one of my closest comrades – who sleeps at 5:00a.m., gets up at 1:00p.m. and
cribs ‘I missed lunch,da!’ (note: these
are on weekdays. On holidays , the concerned B-3 tigers rarely wakes up at all
). the
wing certainly has taken a toll on our habits…. Certainly I have
undergone a metamorphosis…..
And of course, how can I not refer to
the most glaring and irritating trait of
the B-3 tiger …his incessant attempts to “pain” you. The whole hoard of
the B-3 tigers descend on the mess
tables and start their ….”Lena hai”
session… in other words , get on
nerves. Bugging people gives the B-3 tiger a sort of sadistic pleasure, which ,
I confess, I have never been able to explain. Oh my god! I
have changed!
-
a
certain frustrated B-3 tiger
contemplating suicide…………..