-SCIENTIFIC METHODS OF APREHENDING VEERAPPAN IN THE SANDALWOOD FOREST-
1 . NEWTON?S METHOD
Every action has a equal & opposite reaction . Therefore let Verappan catch you . It implies that you caught Veerappan ???.!!------------
2 .HEISENBERG?S METHOD
Veerappan lies in the sandalwood forest ,somewhere in the forest ???.!!
Station volunteers at points of highest probability density throughout the forest
Soon you?ll get the sucker???.!!---------
3 .THERMODYNAMIC METHOD
Construct a semi-permeable membrane allowing unidirectional 'Veerappanian' flow. Sweep the entire forest with it. You?ll be able to isolate Veerappan alone.-----------
4 .EINSTEIN?S RELATIVISTIC METHOD
Run at a speed of 0.99c towards the forest . Due to the Lorentz contraction the size of the forest will reduce to about 50 times lesser than before . You make your job easier???.!!------------
5 .QUANTUM MECHANICAL METHOD
Construct an infinite 2 - dimensional potential well and place it in the forest area . Veerappan & Co will never be able to escape , and will spend rest of their life ? chakki-pissing? inside the forest ????!!----------
6 .RIEMANNIAN GEOMETERY METHOD
Map the entire jungle on a 2-dimentional spherical surface . Veerappan will keep on running on great circles but get nowhere ???.!!------------
7 .INTEGRATION- DIFFERENCIATION METHOD
Integrate the entire forest , with all of its elements . Now partially differenciate it w.r.t. Veerappan . You?ve got him????!!------------
8 .INVERSE TRANSFORMATION METHOD
Construct a spherical shell at the centre of the forest & enter it . Now perform an inverse transformation with respect to the forest . Veerappan is in , you are out???...!!---------------
9 .SEQUENCE METHOD
Express Veerappan & his mates as functions of any natural variable . If the function is monotonic ( the function is bounded by the forest boundary ) , then it has to converge. Wait at the limit point and get Veerappan???.!!-----------
10 .IITIAN METHOD
Put Fundaes to hajar enthu junta and start surrounding the forest . After some time Veerappan & his gang will start cupping ?.. PEACE DAAAAA !!-----------
---bakri @ 268