The Facts
Entered this world on April 8th, 1963 at 4:57 pm
Birthplace: Great Lakes Naval Hospital
Waukegan, Illinois
Zodiac sign: Aries
Hair: Champagne Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 125 lbs
Favorite Color: Teal Blue
Favorite Song: Dream Weaver
Favorite Movie: Gone With The Wind
The Begining
The first five years of my life, I was raised by my grandparents.
Fred and Thelma Blake
They have both left our mortal world now but I am and will forever
be grateful for their love, support and guidance...
I miss them both, and not a day goes by without my thinking of them
My grandmother instilled in me, very early in life,
both my love of music and of dance
One of my fondest memories of my young childhood was of me standing
in front of the mirror,
music playing and me unable to do anything but dance along
The Early Years
At the age of five years old, while residing in Norfolk, Virgina with my mother
I met the most important man in my life...my dad...Robert Albers
while not my biological father, this wonderful man
stepped up, took the hand of this young girl...
and became forever etched into my heart
He was in the Navy, and before long we were moving
back to my birthplace, the state of Illinois...
His union with my mother produced one girl child...
Angela Lynn....
My fantastic sister...for whom..I would die for, kill for...
She is to this day...someone that I just love to sit and look at...
I am impressed by her beauty...
I am proud of her accomplishments in life...
I love her no less than I love my own children....
We soon moved to Park City, Illinois,
where I was to spend the majority of my youth....
there is where I call home....
Then in Febuary 1976, my father came to me...and informed me...
that my new stepfather was moving us to California
I remember being devastated
I had my friends....my first boyfriend....my life...
I cried the entire 5 days that it took us to drive to Calif...
Convinced that once in California....
I would have no friends...
No Life....
and I would never ever have a boyfriend again.....
Little did I know how wrong I was....
May 1, 1976
The magical day that I met you.....
I was just a young babe in the woods type.....
I knew nothing of romance...
I knew nothing of love....
You...oh god you were so gorgeous....I couldnt take
my eyes off of you....
We walked, We talked....and by the time we got back to the party...
I wanted you to teach me....
you had my heart....
you had my soul....
not for a day...not for a month....not for a year...
For Eternity.......
I remember the first time you kissed me....
No kiss I have received to this day....
has ever been as beautiful,
as wonderful,
as special....
I have so many memories of our time together...
Disneyland...
Potsie...
swimming in the pool...
on the steps of my parents place
talking with you...holding you...loving you
the gentle touches of adulthood...
The day you gave me a ring....
And the heartbreak of the day...
you were gone....
Gone from my sight...
Gone from my life...
But this damn heart of mine....
never would accept that message...
I cried so many tears...
but even with the ocean of tears cried....
I could never wash away the pain...
the memories....
the longing...
the love.....
And I vowed....
I would find you again someday....
I had no choice..my heart insisted on it...
The beginning...without you....
I continued on...I went on to..high school...and life...
I met Jeff Blount on Nov 22. 1978 at Pinball Palace in El Cajon, California...
He was working there...and paying alot of attention to me...in a room full of girls...
I was 15 years old and infatuated with this....once again...older man in my life..
He was working, lived out on his own, had a car,
He was sophisticated and grown up....everything I wanted to be
My mother hated him....from the very first time I brought him home to meet her..
and she sabatoged our first month anniversay date
by not allowing me to go out with him
and had my youth not been to my disadvantage....
I would have heeded the warning signs that very night
But having never experienced a violent temper in my life before
I foolishly thought his rage was because he cared so much for me
He showed up at my doorstep...roses in hand...dressed to kill
My mother informed him at the door, that I would not be joining him on our dinner date...
He flew into a rage...threw the roses to the ground...stomped all over them
called my mother some awful names....
and sped out of the parking lot...squealing tires...and screaming profantity..the whole way out.
my second experience with this rage...
was when a very persistant ex~boyfriend showed up at
Pinball Palace...vowing to win me back...
Jeff chased him in his car for nine blocks..with a crowbar in his hand...
fortunatly for this young man...to my knowledge..they didnt meet up...
and once again...I believed this display was a demonstration of his feelings for me
shortly after my 16th birthday....
it was announced to me that once again...
my latest in a string of stepfathers...
would be transferring to Long Beach, CA...
I remember being furious...so angry...but ready...
to adjust my life...once again....
but unbeknowst to me...Jeff met my mother in a bar...
and convinced my mother...that this move...could lead me to danger...
i.e. that I would attempt to hitchhike back to San Diego...
in attempt to see him...
now of course looking through my much now more mature memory....I dont think this is something
that I would have really done
but...my mother...my safety, I'm sure her major concern
agreed to let me move in with Jeff
after he promised that he would make sure that I was properly cared for
and I was given the opportunity to be the grown~up that I was in such a hurry to be....
All went well for the first three months...honeymoon period I guess
But one day...i picked up the extention phone...to hear him making plans...
with another girl....
Having still the vitality and ignorance of my youth...
I made the horrible mistake...of confronting him with his plans of infedilty...
And for the first time....his tirade was leashed on me...
He slapped me...he punched me...he kicked me....
which resulted in the loss of a child, i was unaware I was even carrying....
I couldnt leave...I had nowhere to go...and by now had been convinced....
that the reason my mother let me live with him...was because she really didnt want me there...
messing up her new marriage....
I ended up pregnant again, just a few six weeks later....
Jeff took me to a clinic to get rid of the child...but this is one time i stood up to him...
this i couldnt do....I would run away and live on the streets first....
he agreed to allow me to carry the child but insisted that I would give up the child
upon its birth...
I agreed, it gave me time...to figure out what I was going to do
then in my ninth month of pregnancy...faced with the fact that my father was here now...and that he
would take care of me....he decided he wanted the child
This resulted in the birth of my first son...Jeffery Michael...on October 26th, 1980
Daniel Robert followed just two short years later arriving on Dec 26th 1982...
throughout this time...i received numerous beatings....
and at one time even found the strength to leave him...
but he convinced me to come back, he was sorry, he would change
and with two young sons to raise...I returned, convinced they needed thier father
over the next 5 years, I suffered at the hands of this man...
a broken arm...
three broken ribs...
a fractured jaw....
a fractured skull...
too many bruises and black eyes and bumps to count
but the worst injuries inflicted were my battered soul...
my self esteem....my vitality...my strength...myself....taken and shattered
I had decided to leave him for good...when I found out
that I was once again pregnant...
I had suffered two more miscarriages since Dannys birth
so quite honestly i didnt see this one being born either....
Christopher Matthew was born May 7, 1987...an emergency c section...
complications due to stess and the result of living on eggshells
for now almost ten years
On a day in September....in 1988....when in one of his rages he threw a table across the room
missing the two older boys by mere inches...the girl with fire in her eyes...and in her soul...
returned to fight...to save her children...
He turned his rage once again upon me...and a few hours later...I woke up.... shaking, bleeding and bruised...
in my bedroom closet...with a knife in my hand...
He had spent his anger and had gone back to work...
I packed some clothes for the children....and myself...in a diaper bag...
and all the food I could fit into another diaper bag
and I ran....
I had no car...and twenty seven dollars to my name..
I spent five days....homeless, walking the streets, sleeping in parks with my three young boys...
spending the only money i had on food for the kids and milk for the baby
until I could get him served with restraining order papers....
to this day...5 of the best days of my life....
worth everything and would do it again....
My Life....The Fighter Lives Again....
Well needless to say....I didnt date for a long long time....
I vowed never again to give myself to anyone again....
I gave my heart...
and lost....
I gave my life
and lost
I didnt even date again, until 1990...and then it was only out of loneliness...for companionship
I started dating Todd and actually carried on a relationship with him for two years but...
I had to finally admit that...I could never love him.....
and still all these years later....whenever I thought about love...
still my thoughts came back to you...always back to you.....
I met Michael in September of 1992...He was married...and a mutual friend of the circle of friends that I hung out with
He came out to our local hangout alot and was always alone....
We got to talking and I found out that his marriage was pretty much dead...but he had a baby on the way
and he was going back to Georgia
We spent the next few months that he had left...in long bring up the sun conversations
He said all the right things...he was my advisor...
my friend...I could tell him anything....
He had a healthy attitude on life, on relationships...
about a three weeks before he was to go to Georgia...he came to me...and told me that I was going to hate him
for what he was going to say to me
He told me he loved me.....
I slapped his face...
I told him to go to Georgia...
The night before he left, he kissed me....not the kiss of a friend
I was feeling something for him that I didnt want to feel
He left for Georgia...and called as soon as he got there
Within weeks even his wife was calling me and telling me thier marital problems....
Two days after the birth of his daughter...he packed up his things and came back to California
He was back for two months before I would agree to go out with him
Then for my 30th birthday...he organized a huge surprise birthday party for me....
Finally I thought....
I'm safe
I told him upfront....that if he had plans of marriage...I was the wrong one and to move on
He moved in with me a few months later and he was just the most romantic...
I couldnt help myself...I fell....but still bound and determined...never again
He made me feel safe....something I hadnt felt in so long....
He kept asking me to marry him....I kept saying no
Then one day while he was off on a business venture...I decided...I would marry again....
I arranged the whole wedding in his absence, from the rings to the license....
and on the second anniversary of our having met....
Sept 27, 1994 I became his wife
all went well until November of that year....
He came back from one of his trips....he was more tired than usual
and covered in deep, dark bruises...
and a few nights later...was in the hospital....
after weeks of tests and blood transfusions...he was diagnosed
with mylodisplaysia....a pre~lukemic condition...his bone marrow had quit producing blood cells....
without a blood transfusion...he had only months to live....
his family was contacted....and a perfect match was found
his brother would save his life...and altar mine....
One of the best cancer hospitals was located in Seattle, Washington
and it was decided that was where he would go
because of my young three sons, it was decided that
I would stay in San Diego...as to not disrupt their lives anymore than it was
their father had just walked out on them...six months before
In the four months that he was in Washington...with his brother...
they had lots of time to talk...
his brother, having heard the ex~wifes side of the story....now alone...had told him that I broke up
their marriage...pleeease...
I sent him back to her in the first place....
When he returned....he was still quite ill and needed
lots of time to recover....
but he had changed....he was no longer healty minded either...
he was no longer romantic....
and he even once told me that he was sorry that we had gotten married...
because it changed everything for him....
It was then that I found out, that the "friend" that I had spent all those hours with
was now gone....It was all part of the "put the best foot forward"....courting that people do
I was soon to meet the real person that he was and is today....
I know that he loves me...he tells me this almost daily...
but loving someone is more than just words....it is also in actions....
and he doesnt love me enough to even try to perform even the smallest of actions...
and this pattern continued until...I know longer feel love for him....
Not the kind of love required to make a marriage work...
Not the kind of love that makes you search...long...remember...yearn...and treasure for the rest of your life.....
I Give To You My Heart
For My Sailor Boy
One More Day
Waiting
Wish Upon A Star
Let's Make Love
The Search Is Over
Happy Birthday Baby
Your Hurting
