TV Quotes
The Outer Limits
The Control Voice: Sometimes to uncover what is hidden we must first be made to look.
The Control Voice: Throughout history the search for faith has led men to look to the stars for answers. But only by looking into ourselves may we find it.
The Control Voice: We rely on others to inform us, but wisdom can never be taught. And we must always decide the truth for ourselves.
The Control Voice: If our lives are indeed the sum total of the choices we've made, then we cannot change who we are. However, with every new choice we are given, we can change who we are going to be.
The Control Voice: A poet once wrote, "In dreams begins responsibility." So too, perhaps, with love. Without the hope for a better life, a brighter future, it is difficult for love to flourish, and without love, there are no dreams.
The Control Voice: A safe place, warm and quiet; a place to rest and recover. When all is said and done, isn't that what we all want... a safe place in someone's home, or someone's heart?
The Control Voice: The wounds of war run deep, cutting across generations. But there is always hope for healing, so long as there are those among us whose hearts are more full of love than hate.
Buffy the Vamipre Slayer
Spike: Where have you been pet?
Drusilla: I went for a walk. I met an old man. I didn't like him, he got stuck in my teeth.
Alexander 'Xander' Harris: You're considered somewhat cool.
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne: I am?
Alexander 'Xander' Harris: Is it because you always tend to express yourself in short, non-commital sentences?
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne: Could be.
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne: I can see why you would be upset. Oh, that was my sarcastic voice.
Alexander 'Xander' Harris: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne: I've been told that.
Oz: [Buffy is reading his thoughts] I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. Huh. No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore she is.
Xander: [Buffy is reading his thoughts] What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked women. Naked girls. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me.
Buffy: God Xander! Is that all you think about?
Xander: Actually...bye!
Oz: It was intense.
Xander: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you were gonna make an expression.
Oz: Well, I felt one coming on, I won?t lie.
That 70's Show
Kelso: The truth is out there, man, it's out there.
Fez: No more for you.
Steve Hyde: Okay. Alright. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?
Michael Kelso: [laughing] Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Steve Hyde: I bled. I didn't cry.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you did. You bled AND you cried.
Steve Hyde: And you laughed, man! A lot! While I was bleeding! ... You see my point?
Michael Kelso: Yeah: it's funny when friends get hurt.
Steve Hyde: Close enough.
Fez: What's disco?
Steve Hyde: It's from Hell. And, not the cool part of hell where all the murderers are either, but the lameass part where accountants are from.
[the guys are high in Eric's basement]
Steve Hyde: I read somewhere that people in India fast, man. And, that it makes them think better. And, sometimes they can actually think themselves to death, man.
Michael Kelso: I wonder if that's what I'm doing right now? Sometimes my brain is doing things that I don't even know about!
Eric Forman: Man, we think of some great stuff down here! But, later on I can never remember it.
Eric Forman: Gentlemen, we have finally done it. A pot leaf on the water tower!
Fez: This is the proudest moment of my life!
Steve Hyde: It doesn't look like a pot leaf. It looks like its giving me the finger.
Michael Kelso: Well it doesn't have to look perfect Hyde, it's art!
[Donna and Kelso are hiding under a bed.]
Donna Pinciotti: Is that your hand on my ass?
Michael Kelso: It was an accident.
Donna Pinciotti: Kelso, your hand's still on my ass.
Michael Kelso: IT'S STILL AN ACCIDENT!
Pinky and the Brain
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but if you replace the P with an O, my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but balancing a family, and a career? Ooh, it's all too much for me.
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels.
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Um... I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracked corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
Pinky: What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Woof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
Brain: True.
Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
Brain: To my knowledge, never.
Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
Brain: Next to nil.
Pinky: Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
Brain: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I'm pondering.
Pinky: Poit, I guess I am!
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but we're already naked.
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but the Rockettes, it's mostly girls, isn't it?
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants?
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Wuh, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?
Pinky: Ohh Brain - I know... while we're waiting, we can sing the "Gilligan's Island" theme song.
Brain: Please Pinky... besides, I've only seen one episode of that insipid show.
Pinky: Oh, which one was it? I know them all.
Brain: It was the one where that innocuous dunderhead Gilligan ruined it for everyone.
Pinky: Hmmm... don't think I've seen that one.
Pinky: Ha ha ha. Troz!
Brain: What is "troz?"
Pinky: Why that's "zort" in the mirror. Ha ha. Troz!
Brain: That man is lying. Observe the rate at which he blinks. 3 times per second.
Pinky: Zounds Brain! Amazing!
Brain: Do you know what this means, Pinky?
Pinky: He should change his name to Mr. blinky?
Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are you doing over there?
Brain: Pondering your afterlife, Pinky.
Brain: Brilliant, Pinky! Oh, no, wait. What if we want to use a plan that works?
Brain: Pinky, Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?
Pinky: Hmmm... let me think...
Brain: Don't hurt yourself, Pinky.
Brain: Promise me something, Pinky. Never breed.
Pinky: I'll try.
Pinky: Egad! You astound me, Brain!
Brain: That's a simple task, Pinky.
Brain: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I"m Pondering?
Pinky: Uh, I think so, Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu.
Brain: Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if they called them sad meals, kids wouldn't buy them.
The Simpsons
[Praying heavenward]
Homer Jay Simpson: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
Homer Simpson: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?
Homer Jay Simpson: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
The X-Files
Mulder: Sometimes the only sane answer to an insane world is insanity.
Mulder: Why is it that everytime I think I know the answers, someone goes and changes the questions??
Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone else who is already naked.
Scully: Maybe if it starts raining sleeping bags, you might get lucky.
Susanne: No matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough.
Mulder: Abducted.
Scully: Kidnapped.
Mulder: Pot-ay-toe, pot-ah-toe.
Morris: You guys are the Lone Gunmen aren't you? You guys are my heroes. I mean look at the crap you print.
Byers: We uncover the truth.
Morris: The truth? That's what's so great about you monkeys. Not only do you believe the horse pucky we create, you broadcast it as well. I mean look at this! [Headline reads: "Saddam testing mandroid army in Iraqi desert."] There is no Saddam Hussein. This guy's name is John Gillnitz, we found him doing dinner theatre in Tulsa. Did a mean "King and I." Plays good ethnics.
Langly: Are you trying to say that Saddam Hussein is a goverment plant?
Morris: I'm saying I invented the guy. We set him up in '79. He rattles his saber whenever we need a good distraction. Ah... if you boys only knew how many of your stories I dreamed up while on the pot.
Byers: That's why we like you, Mulder. Your ideas are even weirder than ours.
Mulder: No one down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
Mulder: I saw elvis in a potatoe chip once.
Mulder: Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Mulder: Brown Mountain, Scully, that doesn't ring a bell?
Scully: No...
Mulder: Brown Mountain lights? It's a famous atmospheric phenomenon dating back nearly 700 years, witnessed by thousands of people, back to the Cherokee Indians. Strange multicolored lights are seen to dance above the peak of the mountain. There's been no geological explanation, no scientific credible explanation at all.
Scully: And, what does that have to do with these two?
Mulder: Well, as I said, there is no scientific explanation, but there are those of us that believe that these multicolored lights are really --
Scully: UFOs. Extra-terrestrial visitors from beyond who apparently have nothing better to do than buzz one mountain for 700 years.
Mulder: It sounds like crap when you say it.
Invader Zim
GIR: Yay!!
Zim: Grr, that's bad!
GIR: Yay!
GIR: Hooray for Earth!
Zim: Grr, Earth is our enemy!
GIR: I understand.
GIR: Yay! We're doomed!
GIR: Yay! It likes me!
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