This was a very significant RP, and it's not even finished yet... it represents a turning point, and a change. The first black is Talon, my Warder's RP. The black after that is Taya Sedai of the Green Ajah. Eladari is the green font.Many emotions ran high throughout the writing of these, and they seem to come across very strongly... one friend even commented that it almost made them cry... but it is being dealt with, and Eladari shall come out of it stronger, as the advancement in the posts shall show.
Please, enjoy this little bit of passionate writing...
Talon walked down to the south west banks outside tar valon. His mind was far changed from that which it was when he had first come to the tower, and his youthful ignorance had been replaced by the steely faces of true life. He had made a mistake in bonding, and it was one he had to live with until death. luckily, that was but a few moments away.
Unsheathing a small dagger, four inches of blade, 1/2 inch across at it's broadest point, he waded out into the biting cold of the water, holding his dagger calmly within his right palm. Silently he whispered a brief tumbling of words as he slipped the dagger's tip upwards beneath the 6th T of his left side, just beneath the third rib's parting and upwards into the lower left chamber of the heart.
Strength fled from his body as blood warmed his left side. His vision blurred quickly and he almost seemed not to feel himself falling forward into the frigid waters of the river. His eyes rolled as he fell into the cold waters in the long shadow of the tower's light as the sunlight faded over the horizon almost as quickly as his life's blood fled from his emptying shell.
A Scream…
Eladari sat at her desk, trying to focus on some work, but it was pointless, completely pointless.... She leaned back in her chair, letting her thoughts wander. So very much had changed and happened in the past years, the past months...
She stood up to gaze at herself in the mirror. The face that looked back was not much changed since the day she reached the shawl, and yet… it was very different. She had acquired the agelessness of all Aes Sedai a few years ago, and few would be able to place her age. Her body perhaps looked somewhere in the late 20s or 30s, still as thin and graceful as when she was Accepted, her skin still smooth, with not a wrinkle anywhere, not even laugh lines… But her eyes… the eyes that looked back were different from what they had once been. There was extreme pain, experience, wisdom, and so much sadness. She didn’t smile as once she had, nor did the sound of her laughter echo through the rooms anymore.She moved back from the mirror, her eyes unfocused, gazing not at anything in the room, but into her mind, into the past. She remembered still so clearly the day she learned she would go to the Tower… and then the day she arrived at the Tower, at her new home. She had cried herself to sleep for many nights, missing her family, as all Novices did, but there had been her roommate Tanya to help, and she had been mentored my Mierin Sa’hr, and Taya Gille. Then the day had come when she had passed through the arches, and come out to become Accepted. She had aspired to Green from that day forward, wanting to follow in the footsteps of her mentors. She had dedicated her studies to the world, the culture, hoping to one day roam out from the Tower, in pursuit of adventure, and to fight for the Light. She sat down into one of her armchairs, still focused on the past… she remembered that day when she had again walked beside the Mistress of Novices, this time further down into the Tower, to the room where she had sworn the oaths. She wore her green-fringed shawl for weeks, for months, after being raised. She smiled softly at the memory. All newly-raised Aes Sedai did, sporting it as a symbol of pride.
Then there was that day when a Tower Guard had knocked upon her door… he had captivated her, and she remembered how restless a night that had been. But then the next day, when she had learned his name, and even met him in Tar Valon… that was a magical and amazing day. He had remained in her thoughts from that day forth, and she had been so sorry to leave on the Novice Search, and yet, so excited, for it was her first journey forth from the Tower. And he had followed. They had been bound in a deserted square, under the softly falling snow in Caemlyn. And then they had struck off on their own adventure, developing their love as they journeyed. She smiled again, full of remembrance, but then the smile disappeared, as she thought of all that had passed since… their love had died. She hadn’t seen Talon in… weeks, maybe even months. She simply stayed in the Tower, near her quarters, a recluse, keeping to herself. He now preferred to sleep in the barracks, away from the Aes Sedai, and… away from her. She knew not what had gone wrong… she had thought he would still protect her until the end, but… his love was gone. The beautiful golden thread had dissolved…
She decided quickly that she needed air, she needed a walk, she needed to clear her mind. She grabbed her cloak and gloves, and paused, letting her mind reach out... she could feel him... he wasn't so close... he was... cold... she stood there moments long, her hand on the door handle, unable to move. Then all of a sudden it came. She felt pain shoot through her entire being, her soul going numb. And then she screamed. Screamed his name, agony in her mind, agony in her soul. He was gone. He was gone completely, forever. He was Dead. He had killed himself, to be rid of her...
Her screams echoed through the Tower, forever unending...
Déjà vu
Taya grimaced down at the inventory, wondering how on earth things had got this complicated over night. Someone had missed a few recordings, it seemed, and now Taya was going to have to find someone to make amends. That in itself would be nearly impossible, since very few people were trustworthy when it came to making accurate recordings. She sighed in irritation and shoved the piece of paper into the file before closing it firmly and scooping it off her desk.
She headed straight for the door, not bothering to grab her forest-green cloak off the hook in her wall before venturing out into the world.
Out in the hall she nodded coolly to one of those Greens she had never really got along with, and smiled warmly at a young Green who had proved a formidable opponent—and therefore a valued companion—on the battle weaves field. She passed the odd novice, and finally noticed an Accepted who would be worthy of the task she had in mind to set.
“Accepted!” she spoke sharply, commanding attention. She swept over to the young woman, slipping her hand into the file preparing to remove the paper, when a soul-shattering scream ripped through the Green quarters, making Taya wince and hunch her shoulders instinctively. The Accepted had both hands clamped over her ears, and her eyes had gone wide. As the screaming went on, with Taya turning her head this way and that trying to locate the source—this hall had always had odd acoustics that confused many a Sister—she came to recognise the voice, even through the anguish. Eladari!!
The task at hand was completely forgotten as she hastened down the hall to Eladari’s room. The door was open, and another of the Green sisters was crouching beside a distraught Eladari, trying to comfort her. Taya frowned in concern as she too moved into the room, sinking to the floor on the other side of the younger Green. She didn’t appear to be responding to any of the coaxing of the other Sister, and Taya murmured a few soft words too, but to no effect. “Eladari? Darling, what is it? Will you speak to me?”
In the end all she could do was put an arm around the other Green and wait, hoping for the sobbing-shrieking to cease long enough for her to yield an explanation. It would have to be very bad for it to affect Eladari Sedai, fierce, brave and loyal Green sister, this way.
Gone...
All Eladari could feel was the pain, the intense pain shooting through her. Her whole body ached, and writhed in agony. Her heart and mind lay in anguish. She heard screaming, and thought it was hers, but couldn't truly tell. All she could feel was the pain, all she could see was the darkness that surrounded her. Her world had fallen apart. Talon had been her world, and he was gone, he was gone...
She found herself on the floor of her room, curled tight into a ball, her hands to her chest, wishing to stop the pain. Her sobs racked her body, and all she could think of was what wasn't there... of what was gone, forever...
Then she felt arms envelop her, she thought she heard soft voices, soft words and she realised that there were others with her. And there was Taya, holding her tight. And so she let the tears all come; she let go of all that she had bottled up tight, and wept out all she had held inside, weeping, mourning for all that she had endured and all that she had lost... she knew not how long she lay there, safe in Taya's arms, but she was glad that she wasn't completely alone.Gathering herself in the slightest, she pulled in shuddering breaths, her tears drying on her face but her body still shivering. "Taya... he's gone..." she managed to say, more tears leaking softly from her eyes, "He..." she drew in another breath, "He killed himself... to be rid of me..." Speaking these words dissolved her into another fit of racking sobs, punctuated by her soft voice... "Light help me, he's gone... he's gone..."
Silent Fury
It felt like she had sat there for hours, but she knew it must’ve been less than that, before Eladari finally pulled herself together enough to tell the two other Greens what was going on. Even when she did, Taya was initially confused.
As Eladari gasped for breath and shivered, she almost whispered, “Taya…he's gone...” More tears began to flow as Taya’s thoughts raced. Gone? Light, has Talon died? Oh, Light! This is just like last time! She met the other Green’s worried glance, and knew the woman remembered too the night Lanfir Sedai had lost one of her beloved Warders. Taya had been one of the first on scene, still a young Green and rather inexperienced, but doing what she could for her beloved Ajah head. Now she was the experienced one, and it was disconcerting. But, as she was about to find out, she didn’t have the whole story.
Eladari mumbled, "He…he killed himself... to be rid of me..."
Taya blinked, her lips parting slightly. She wasn’t quite sure she had understood. She glanced at the other Green, who looked equally as confused, and a little white in the face. No Warder would ever do such a thing…no true Warder. Surely I have misunderstood. But Eladari’s reaction was akin to that of a Sister who had just lost her Warder to the afterlife, and she had spoken clearly, if quietly.
The younger Green was sobbing again, and murmuring more to herself than anyone else. "Light help me, he's gone... he's gone..."
Taya stared at the other Green with an unfocused gaze for a long moment as thoughts and emotions roiled within her. She was stricken with sorrow on behalf of her former adopted mentee, Eladari, but on the other hand, she was furious. The very thought of a Gaidin doing what Talon Gaillard had apparently done this day was unfathomable. Taya did not recall a single incident in the past that at all resembled this one.
“El, I will get you to bed. You need to rest, my friend.” The other Green acted as if on cue, going to the door of Eladari’s room and leaning out a fair way, pausing for a moment before barking some orders at some nearby novice or Accepted out of Taya’s sight. “Come here, girl, immediately. And bring your friend too.” She slipped out of the room and closed the door behind her, and Taya knew she was thinking of Eladari’s wellbeing—no underling was to see a Sister in such a state as this, not if it could be helped. As Taya got to her feet, holding Eladari’s hand and trying to coax her up off the floor, the other Green returned and said, “I have a basin of warm water and some mint tea on the way.”
“Mint tea?” Taya asked, frowning as she turned her head to face the woman. “Do you think she looks up to that?” She was able to speak with such a clipped tone because the other Green was even younger than Eladari.
“Indeed I do not,” the Sister replied, bowing slightly with respect, “but I thought that perhaps we would be.”
Taya smiled then. “Wise thinking,” she said eventually, as the other Sister came over to help her with Eladari. They got her over to the bed and laid her down.
“Can you believe that what she said is true?” the other Green whispered at one point, looking down at Eladari with concern. Taya shook her head in response. “I really cannot. It seems unbelievable to me.”
Neither of them liked the thought of going through what their sister was enduring right now, but even less did they like the notion that Warders were capable of doing this.
They awaited the delivery of warm water and mint tea.
As if from a distance, the soft, kind voice called Eladari back from her thoughts, back from the oblivion she was slowly slipping into... “El, I will get you to bed. You need to rest, my friend.” She could feel movement around her, and felt Taya stand up, still holding her hand. She nodded softly, as if to herself, her eyes blank, still curled up as she'd been for what seemed like hours. Slowly she let herself be coaxed up Taya and the other Green sister, letting them lead her to the bed. She curled up, her hands clutched around the end of a cord that hung from her neck, around a ring... a ring of two hands, holding a heart and a crown...
She lay there, unmoving, knowing the other women were there, but unable to feel anything but the pain and torment of life. Her eyes were open, but unseeing, gazing into the past, gazing into her own soul. She softly closed them, tears leaking out from their corners, as her mind raced over all Talon had been to her, all that they had done, together... as one...
She heard the murmur of voices around her, but ignored them, her body winning the battle over her mind and sending her softly into sleep. But even then her mind still had power, for dream after dream came to her, full of pain, fear, agony, sadness, and loss. All the dreams revolved around Talon, what he had been, what he had done... She writhed and cried out in the dreams, but awakened not. She had fallen into so deep a slumber, and the dreams would not release her...
Memories...
FLASH
As he raised her hand and kissed it, a momentary feeling passed through her chest, an emotion she hadn't felt in many years... but nothing was betrayed on her face, or in her eyes, as was the way of Aes Sedai, and something in her silently cursed her now-instinctive actions.
Letting her hand drop gently, the Gaidin hurried off, and Eladari turned and closed her door. She sat back down in her chair and picked up the book again, but couldn't focus. One thought was coursing through her head…
FLASH
They stood at the railing to the Warder’s Yard, she gazing softly up into his blue eyes. He smiled softly down at her, nodding at her words, “Of course… I am Talonae Vaerdeth Gaillard Gaidin…
FLASH
Taking his offered hand, Eladari let herself be led to the dance floor. She smiled softly as he bowed to her, and she curtsied lightly in return. Then, placing her hands in his, she led him lead her through the dance. The sound of her laugh as he swung her around the dance floor was one of pure joy. Eladari hadn't had this much fun in a long while. She smiled lightly at him, her eyes aglow with the spirit of the music.
FLASH
Turning slowly, she faced Talon, looking up into his blue-grey eyes. Her voice was husky as she spoke, "Talon, this night, nay, this day has been wonderful. Thank you." Gazing up at him, she raised herself onto her toes, and brushed her lips softly against his...
The soft caress of his fingertips on her face sent a warm shiver down Eladari's spine. Softly breaking off her lips, she slowly opened her eyes, to gaze into his. Slight colour came into her cheeks, and she bowed her head a little, breaking the eye contact.
Feeling a gentle finger on her chin, she raised her face to look again into Talon's eyes. He gave her a gentle look, which she returned, though with a slight blush in her cheeks. Then kissing her gently, he dropped his hand. Eladari moved back into place beside him, his arm encircling her shoulders. They slowly walked on, in comfortable silence, with only the soft sound of the crush of snow beneath their feet.
FLASH
Eladari's composure melted, as she heard the voice behind the mask, and finally placed the eyes. "Talon," she whispered softly, her eyes glowing, "to be bound..." the realisation of what he'd said slowly sunk in, and her heart lifted, thinking of how he'd travelled there, just to find her, just to bond her.
FLASH
She smiled softly, a warm glow in her eyes, listening to Talon's soft voice speaking his words of binding, "I bind you to me, Eladari Sedai, bind you in debt to me, for every day I make you my life, and tell you now to tie yourself to me." At his last words, Eladari freed her hands from his, embracing the sourc eand reached them out towards him, weaving the binding net of spirit, holding it above him.
"Talonae Vaerdeth Gaillard Gaidin, I am Eladari Menaka Sedai, companion, ally, teacher and protector," she started, modelling his vow, "I pledge myself to you, to honour and respect you, to listen to your guidance, and to accept your protection. I now bind us, Talon Gaidin. I am in your debt, and you are in mine. Together we are as one," she softly lowered the net of spirit over them, letting it settle. She looked deeply into his eyes, all of a sudden feeling more of his presence. He was there, in her mind. She smiled softly, and laid her hands in his. "I am yours," she whispered softly, and kissed his cheek.
FLASH
Gazing into his blue-grey eyes, she felt the need to speak, though she knew he felt her words through the bond. Nevertheless, the words were somehow more... important. And so, smiling softly, she whispered, "I love you... and I'm honoured to be bound to you, Talon, I am yours forever"
She saw his lips part, and his eyes glazed over, as she felt his reaction through the bond, his soul soaring as he answered, "I love you Eladari, my Sedai... I am blessed of the Light to be able to have found one such as you, and I thank you, and the light, for giving me the final piece… the other half, of my life..."
FLASH
He drew his sword, and she could feel his overwhelming need to protect her, his one love…
FLASH
He held her warmly through the cold nights on the road, whispering softly to her…
FLASH
FLASH
FLASH
Eladari cried out at the pain and torment of all the memories, haunting her as they were. She could remember every thought, every gesture, every soft touch, every sweet caress… She lay there, uncaring of time, uncaring of herself, only thinking of him… their time together had been too short, and she could not understand, she could not think, or what had happened to change all that, what had made him think that the only way out, the only thing to do, was to kill himself…
And so the dreams and memories kept coming... unrelenting in their torture on her soul, on her mind, on her heart...
Awakening, and Resolution
She knew not how long she lay there, hours or days even, but eventually, she calmed, and she returned to herself…
Opening her eyes, focusing her thoughts, she saw sunlight streaming in through the pale curtains over the windows. She found herself under the covers of her bed, in her simple linen shift. She propped herself up on her elbows, wincing at the pain and weakness she felt. Her eyes were sore and swollen, and her hair was a tangled mess, brushing against her shoulders. Glancing around, she saw a basin of hot water and a cloth on the bedside table, and a chair placed nearby. But the room was empty. Sliding back down onto the pillows, she turned over onto her side, more tears leaking from her eyes. She felt so empty, so alone… all that had been there for so many years was gone… he was gone… But she had cried all that she could. She could cry no more, even though her heart ached to.She would move on… she knew that she would. Although the world looked so dark and dreary now, and the road ahead seemed long and lonely, she would search for the strength and courage that she needed. She would find a purpose to live for, and continue to fight.
But she knew that Talon would never be forgotten. He would always be there in her heart, and she would always love him… forever a
