I have often asked myself what recovery is. Whatever stage you are at in your own illness, I want to point out that recovery from an eating disorder is NOT about weight. Illnesses such as anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeating while certainly AFFECT your physical state in one way or another, the problem isn't a physical one- it is merely a symptom of a deeper issue. Whatever you were trying to cope with by using your illness- whether it be pressure, abuse, relationship issues...the only way to recover is to learn how to cope with problems WITHOUT using food and weight as a mechanism. I myself am not recovered. A lot of the time I am unsure as to whether or not I actually want to recover. Recovery is a scary issue- when you are used to being 'ill' for a long time, it becomes familiar until you can barely remember what 'health' actually feels like. Being 'normal' and having to use your voice rather than your body to express the way you feel is hard. It has taken a long time to build up the coping mechanisms that been used, and it takes an equally long time (plus a lot of hard work) to relearn more constructive ways to express yourself. RECOVERY is learning to let go of the past and using healthy coping mechanisms to move forward. RECOVERY is rediscovering who you are and learning more about yourself. RECOVERY is using your voice to express your needs and your problems instead of acting them out on your body. RECOVERY is letting go of unhealthy behaviours and substitung them with healthy ones. RECOVERY is facing your fears and overcoming them. RECOVERY is trusting yourself to make healthy choices. RECOVERY is accepting that just because things don't always go according to plan, it doesn't mean you have failed in any way. RECOVERY is about being able to reach out to others for support.