______________________________________________________
IT WAS DONE
---------------
"Good bye," I whispered, walking away. I walked straight out the door, leaving Aaron in shock. I didn't stop walking until I was around the corner, and at that point I broke down. I covered my mouth, sobbing, feeling as if I couldn't breathe. It was so hard for me to walk out on someone I truly loved, but if he hadn't asked for it, it wouldn't have come so quickly. I then realized what had happened, I'd just made the best decision I probably could have made. No longer would I hurt because of Aaron and his cheating ways, no longer would I cry myself to sleep, no longer would I feel tremors in my heart, knowing Aaron was out with another girl. I then peeled my heartbroken self off the city sidewalk, where I'd drawn a small crowd, and was able to manage getting myself a cab.
"Where to miss?"
"Um.....fifth street please." I knew where I had to go.
"And then he told me," I sniffed, "that he thought it might be better if we saw other people, so I exploded on him. I was like 'SEE OTHER PEOPLE? SEE OTHER PEOPLE YOU SAY?!?!?!? YOU'VE BEEN SEEING OTHER PEOPLE PRACTICALLY SINCE WE GOT TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY SHOULD IT CHANGE NOW?!?!' and he looked me straight in the eyes and goes, 'Why did you stay?' and I was like, Because I love you. And he stared at me blankly and then goes, 'Why?' and I just was so taken aback that my efforts to prove my love to him were totally ignored, and I gave up and ran straight out the door. Then I made fool of myself in public," I smiled and kind of laughed at the latter information and wiped a tear away.
"L, I don't know what to say, I mean, you've known the guy was bad news and now that he's trampled your heart, I'm certainly not going to say 'I told you so,' but I can't think of anything clever or comforting right now. And that is usually my thing. Maybe it's that I have just never seen you this worked up before."
"Maybe, but you're suppose to be comforting and witty and stuff, and you're suppose to know how to make me feel better.........some best friend you are!" I laughed some more.
"Well, it seems that you're doing a fine job of that yourself, I always knew you were your own best friend," Taylor grinned.
"Ahh, I'm so glad your my best friend."
"Yeah, me too. I make lots of people jealous, cause they are like, 'Taylor, is that girl your girlfriend?' guys and girls alike. The guys are like, 'She's hot, how'd you score her?' and the girls are like, 'But I thought WE had something Tay-Tay.' Oh I hate that name....but you knew that."
"Haha, ya, TAY-TAY." I half smiled at him.
"Seems your over your love."
"Well, maybe it wasn't love afterall, maybe just a crush backslash gas bubble. Speaking of gas bubbles..." Taylor's eyes grew wide in fear.
"NO, NO DON'T!" He began backing up and feeling for the door.
"Just kidding," I laughed. He laughed with me and the next thing I knew it we decided to go out for ice cream.
A pint of cappucinno chocolate chunk will cure any ail. It is especially good when your best friend is diggin in with you while you are fighting over the controller on the couch, and balancing the ice cream on the spoon.
"Stop!!! Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy controller!" I was holding the ice cream in one hand, pulling on the controller with the other, spoon in my mouth, while warding Taylor off with my feet. Taylor pinned me and we just kind of stopped. It was one of those moments, where the world stops because two people catch each others eyes. Ya, one of those. I felt the spoon slip from my mouth. I stared into the crystal blues for a moment, then his mom walked in the room.
"Who's winning this time?" She asked. Obviously this wasn't something that happened on occasion, this was an every day work out for us. Taylor suddenly smiled and grinned wickedly.
"I AM!" He successfully yanked the controller from my hands, as weakness still controlled my body. Before Mom walked out of the room laughing, she mumbled, "That's a first."
"I hate you," I pouted, crossing my arms. The ice cream was cold on my arm so I placed the container in between my legs.
"I hate you too, but I still have the controller."
"Well I have the ice cream," I stuck my tongue out and began digging in the container. "Controllers don't taste near as good as cappacino chocolate chunk!"
He looked down at the plain controller, then longingly at the ice cream. "Wanna trade?" His eyes sparkled at the mention of our favorite low fat treat.
"Nah, maybe we could share."
"Okay." And once again a small, but fun, quarrel ended peacefully.
"I think I'm in love again," I smiled.
"Oh no, not here we go AGAIN! Leigh, you are INSANE!"
"I know, but I really like this guy."
"No, I refuse to believe you," Taylor shook his head.
"Okay, okay, I don't think I'm in love, in fact, I KNOW I'm in love."
"Wait a second! You haven't even been seeing anyone lately! How could you possibly know you're in love?"
"Well, this is a person I've known for awhile...but I don't wanna tell you cause you'll laugh at me. But if you guess, I'll tell you one way or another." Immediately Taylor began naming off every mutual guy friend we have.
"Billy? James? Karl? Kyle? Matt? Brad?"
"No," I replied to them all. I knew he would die before he gave up.
"WHO THEN?!?!"
"I can't tell!"
I would soon regret ever telling him about my secret crush on a friend because for the next four weeks after I did, that's all every conversation was about. He told me he would stay up nights thinking about it, trying to figure out who it was. He just never realized how easy the answer was. It was right in front of his eyes, literally! If he would only open them! See, Taylor and I go way back, since we were about eight. I met him at one of his performances because my mom was a manager at a music store where he and his brothers were signing autographs. I got to hang out with them the whole time and my mom and his mom made friends. They discovered we only lived a few blocks away and began going places together, which meant all us kids went with them. I have three sisters and a brother, and he has three sisters and three brothers, so we each had a little less to tote around back then. Since then we've been hanging out, always going to the nearby parks and the Ice Cream Palace. I knew him when he was a lowly accapella singer in the group, "The Hanson Brothers," and have seen him through, "Taylor Hanson - Superstar of Hanson" and we're still going at, "Hanson - Return of the dorks." I personally like the latter the best, but over the years I've known him, everyone always told us that we'd be the perfect couple. We always stuck our tongues out at them and went "YUCK," but deep inside, I wanted to believe it would be true someday. In fact, Taylor wrote a song about the first time that happened, but he changed the ending to where we do end up together. Some of you might be familiar with the "Three Car Garage" hit, "Stories." Ya, that song's about me and Taylor, not YOU and Taylor. After my nasty break-up with Aaron, I realized that everytime I was with a guy, I'd compare them to Taylor, and although none matched up, I just thought I'd been comparing just to compare. Then I realized I was comparing to perfection, no one lives up to my picky expectations except Taylor! But since I've had such bad experience in love, I was afraid that if I told him, he'd laugh at me and I'd feel absolutely dead. He is the only person I care about and have cared about, even though I hadn't quite known it. If I were to tell him, I'd be going against every gut instinct in my body, so making him guess was the only other way.
"PAHLEEEEEEEEEESE TELL ME!" He begged. I did like the fact that I was making him like this. "I'll give you a dollar, no, ten thousand dollars.....just please tell me..." he fake cried.
"Okay, I'll give you a hint."
Taylor's eyes lit up and he smiled, "Goodie!"
"All right, hmm....okay, we'll play twenty questions....thats good."
"Okay, first question, DO I KNOW HIM?"
"Yes, very well in fact." My heart raced at the thought that he might actually guess. I mentally prepared myself for the heartbreak hotel, room number 24.
"Um....is he a friend of mine and yours?"
"Yes, a very good one."
"Am I related to him?" Taylor seemed scared by this question, but I had to stop and think about it.
"Yes, in a sense you ARE related to him." If only he would take out "related to" in that sentence.
"Hmm....its not one of my brothers?"
"NO!"
"Its not a cousin?"
"No."
"It's not me...is it?"
There was nothing I could say to this. He had guessed it fairly, it was a yes or no answer, but I just couldn't tell him. I decided to study the carpet I'd walked on for almost ten years now.
"Is it me? Is it?" There was a dying urgency in his voice.
"We need to talk." I grabbed his hand and dragged all 5'9 and 167 pounds of him straight up to his room and locked his door. Taylor sat on his bed, and I sat next to him.
"What.........talk to me."
"I don't know what to say, or how to say it though Taylor. I can explain why I feel the way I do, but I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid you're going to push me away, like everyone else has." This is where my tears, oh-so-helpfully, began coming. He just hushed me and hugged me. At least he still cared.
"Why in the world would I push my best friend away? If you would only have told me last year..."
"What do you mean, 'if I had only told you last year?'" I pulled away from him.
"Well, I was sure that I loved you, but you always acted like we were just friends, so I was afraid to ask you."
"No, no, not again. Why me?" I stood up and backed toward the door.
"Leigh, wait..." Taylor stood up, offering his hand to me. I turned and did the most stupid thing I could have done, I fled. Out the door I went and I didn't stop until I was in my car. It was dark outside, and it was raining sheets, so I turned on my lights quickly raced away. Driving always calmed me down. I took every curve carelessly, and felt my car slide numerous times. Everything was moving so quickly and suddenly I felt the car slip out of control.
Taylor sat in his desk chair, hunched over the papers. I watched as the dim light of a desk lamp, luminated the small area he was working in. The digital clock face stared blankly back at him, 3:24 am, it told him. He returned to writing on the papers. He scrawled something, then grabbed the paper in his fist, balled it up and tossed it in the trash can. It hit the numerous others he'd already discarded, and rolled toward the door. He started again. I watched a concentrated look swept over his face and I read over his shoulder.
Leigh Renee Carter
Born January 24, 1983, Leigh
attended high school at T.H. Bartol
High School in Chase, OK. She
planned to go to the Art Institute of
Dallas, where she would have pursued
a career in graphic design. She was so
giving, whether it be friendship or her
heart, she openly shared it with others.
Her smile illuminated the world, but in just a small
moment in time, her life ended. That
brightness has left her family and friends
to fend for themselves in the dark. She
is survived by her three sisters, Maggie,
Lori, and Jennifer, her brother Tyler,
her parents, Jason and Kathryn, and
her practically second immediate family,
the Hanson's. Her best friend, Taylor
Hanson, wrote this poem for her:
Like an Angel
She sleeps like an Angel
caught between Heaven and Earth,
she knows not in which she'd rather be.
She is like an Angel
befriending all who seem to care
but she knows that some will break her heart.
She acts like an Angel
protecting my every move
she was the best friend that I could count on.
She was an angel
who came into my life
and brought light into everything we did.
By: J.T.H.
And at that point I knew, it was done.
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