Much time had passed since Lillianna rode into battle against the forces of Mordor and had seen many of her friends and loved ones fall. She did not know herself how much time had gone by, as her days were filled with the study of all living things, which she wrote down like her father had done so. The wall around her heart grew ever stronger, yet she still maintained a charm and friendliness on the outside. This was her defense, her cure for not falling into despair. Glorfindol sensed this and often would ask her what she had seen at that battle, to which she always refused to tell, fearing the pain would be too great.
"Lillianna, I love you still. I always will untill the end of time." Glorfindol said as he cupped her face with his hands, "Please do not shut me out of your life as well. Say you are still the dear friend you once were. There can be healing to whatever pain you have gone through. My heart aches to see you despairing so." Lillianna pulled away from his loving gaze and answered firmly, "You are still a friend, Glorfindol, but only a friend. I told you before I could never love you the way you love me and I have not changed my mind. Yet though you may be a friend, I cannot tell you what I suffer now. I would not want you to have to hear it. It is my burden to bear alone, and nothing will ever cure it." Glorfindol tried again to become close to her, but she always repelled, because the fear she at loosing any more dear friends was too great. Galadriel was concerned about this slightly, but she forsaw that an event would come for Lillianna that would soften her heart yet also bring immense sadness. She knew that Glorfindol in some way would be a part of it, but not in the way he desired.
Lillianna now had learned all there was to know in her close surroundings and decided it was wise to venture out in the world, though it was not a safe place. She decided to visit her mother's kin in Greenwood and maybe bring joy to the elves there who had suffered so much. In addition, she would study the forest and its surroundings.
"And I must get away from this place" she said to herself "For though it is dear, too much I want to discard still remains on me here." Galadriel and Celeborn agreed to this and sent her off with heavy hearts and high hopes for their precious gift.
"The elves under King Thranduil will no doubt benefit from her." Galadriel mused "And they in return will give blessings to her that she can not receive from us." The elves of Lothlorien said fairwell to their Moril for a time.
Lillianna traveled in disguise so as not to attract notice and stopped at Rivendell to visit Lord Elrond. There she met his daughter, Arwen, and they became fast friends. Indeed, many an elf would go walking and find them strolling along together in the night. No words could they find to describe the loveliness of that picture - the two most beautiful young stars of the sky come to shine their light on those of earth. When she left, Lillianna was in high spirits and she sang softly to herself as she rode along. She came to Greenwood and stopped in a clearing to rest before she reached King Thranduil's halls. Legolas, the king's son had been told of her coming and was sent to meet her so she would not have to travel the rest of the way alone. He eagerly agreed to go, for he was curious as to what she might be like, having heard much of her. He did not believe fully that she had healing powers as her father did, and wanted to find out for himself. Legolas found it hard to believe anyone, whether they be elf or human, and had his own reasons for thinking in that manner. From a distance, Legolas could not perceive a female figure from her disguise and so thought her a spy from the enemy. He attempted to approach and catch her unawares, but her own senses were the superior. She heard him coming and stole up behind him silently. Quicker than lightning, she had him at knife point on his back gasping for breath. When she realized he was the handsome prince of Greenwood and not an assasin, she was mute with surprise and released him quickly, though her violet eyes gleamed with suspicion. Legolas was indeed shocked and rather embarrassed at being bested by a female, yet he was entranced with her delicate beauty that could not be hidden by her simple attire.
"Why would such a maiden travel alone?" He asked with curiosity "And why are you so suspicious of another elf in friendly territory?"
"I can not trust anyone" She curtly replied, her voice thick with irritation, "and my business is my own, though no doubt you will know of it in due time."
Legolas was displeased by her smart and trite remarks, but his upbringing as a prince allowed him not to show it.
"Now come my lady" he entreated "we are akin by my grandfather and yours. Let us not be ill disposed towards one another. I truly meant no ofense." And he held out his arm to her to escourt her to his father. Lillianna disliked his admiring glances, and believed him to be just like that of other male elves who sought her attention because of her beauty. She was soon proved wrong.
Thranduil was overjoyed at her coming, for he loved her mother - his first cousin - very much. After she had refreshed from her journey, she told him and all his subjects the reason in her coming there. She was dressed in a simple, but elegant sky blue dress that opened at her forearms and hung loosely off her shoulders. Gone was the wrap that held her hair before, and now its radiance descended down her back and framed her perfectly shaped face. All those who were there were silent with awe, but not just with her appearance. Her words were soft and rung with deep emotion and conviction. For a moment, they saw past the walls of her heart. Legolas knew then her pride was a facade, and yearned to know the heart and soul of this heavenly creature. The more he saw of her and her labours, the more he was struck with conviction at his own apathy towards the world. At first she refused the idea of friendship with him, saying her work was too demanding, but often times he would find her alone in the forest dancing with her heart to express the feelings she could not say with words. Legolas would stand hidden and watch her while his heart was filled with pity, for she danced with such sorrow and grief, though with others she seemed to be perfectly content. It was a revelation Legolas could relate to, and he stripped of his pride so as to be a friend to this lonely swan. They met often, and Legolas showed her all over Greenwood and helped her in her studies. This warmed Lillianna's heart, and his comely face shone with a joy he had not felt in many years. Their friendship grew, and they grew increasing close together, for they each shared a common bond they did not fully understand.
Lillianna's heart started to melt faster, like the ice of winter turned into spring, though she tried desperately not to let her feelings toward him grow. Thranduil saw how his son had changed, and was glad and hoped they would eventually fall in love. "For in that way" Thranduil thought "They will have healed each other. To people so suited for one another I could not ever find."
Lillianna spent many years there, helping and loving the people of Greenwood and it was not until later that Lillianna realized it was her growing love for Legolas that made her capable of doing so. One day, they were walking together beside a gorgeous waterfall and Legolas asked the questions he so desperately wanted to have answered.
"I see you often with a far off look in your eyes. won't you tell me, my dear friend, why you mourn so much? Why do you bear the world's sorrow apon your back? If you have such satisfaction in taking up your father's lifestyle, why is such a burden? How can you heal others when you yourself are not healed?" He asked this gently with great tenderness, for he knew amount of weight she carried. She turned her gaze towards him, and saw in his blue eyes immense compassion, and that he understood. Somewhere in his past he had suffered, she had seen it before, so she decided to take the risk she was so afraid to take, and tell him the burdens of her heart.
"I see that you too, Legolas, have a burden you wish to relieve. Perhaps this is the way it was meant to be, to find one another and strip off our unbearable pride. Listen friend to what I say, for I have not spoken of it since it occurred." Legolas drew near to her and listened attentively to all she said. She told him of her relationship with Gil-galad and how dear he was to her, and she told him of her stealing away to the last alliance and what she saw there. She told him of the vow she made to destroy Sauron and how at times she despaired on how this was to be done. Legolas for a while could only listen with awe, for she had become totally different; she had become almost like a child again. Her fierce, confident heart was now crying with confusion.
"The truth is" She said while nearly weeping "I do not believe I am as strong as my father was, and I don't think I shall ever be. I am such a hypocrite, believing that I can save the world by my own strength. I have failed many times, and I have shut the world out, fearing to loose those who I might love. There is no joy in what I do, how can it be so?" And she covered her face in her hands while she cried softly. Years of bitterness overflowed and Legolas was at a loss for words to say. He merely put his arm around her, feeling the depth of her pain and not realizing how much he had come to care for her. He finally spoke by saying, "You are an incredible gift, Lillianna. Those who love you and care for you know this to be true. You are wise beyond your years, have love to those who are helpless, and seek to destroy evil. No you can't do it alone, but there is no need to be alone. Your heart is braver than many who live today, and you are certainly more noble than I have ever been or ever will be." She smiled through her tears and thanked heaven a million times for the gift of Legolas to her. Her eyes shone with a peace and relief at sharing her pain with another, and Legolas considered himself fortunate to be the one she would confide in. He gently clasped her hand and whispered, "Whenever you need me, whatever you wish to tell, whatever you may fear, I will swear to be here so I may bear it for you." Lillianna had found her soul. Legolas had found his life.
Now it came to pass, that not long after this, Glorfindol came to visit Lillianna. He saw how Legolas looked at her, his eyes not trying to hide what he felt. Glorfindol was alarmed and did not wish for Lillianna to return those feelings. He took her aside and asked, "Do you love this Legolas? For if you do, I will not stand in the way." She paused for a moment, not expecting this kind of question, and then her eyes became mournful and she felt as if she had been stabbed but in a way that was unlike anything else she knew.
"It is not your business to know." she said defensively "You know the choice I made long ago. I cannot abandon my quest for love. It is not a luxury I have." her voice lowered as she said this and she fled away from Glorfindol, her face downcast and troubled. Legolas saw her depart from Glorfindol, and wondered what he had said to her. When she would not look at him, he began to feel that he might loose her to Glorfindol, and the thought was too much to bear. He approached his father about it.
"I do not understand, nor can I explain the feeling I have towards her. I did not feel this way towards Uruviel, nor anyone else on this earth. It is like she peers into the depths of my soul and finds someway to ease the trouble I have there. Ever since Uruviel died I never looked at another lady, believing myself to never again fall in love. Now I know that it was never so, I never loved Uruviel. What I feel now transcends any sort of feeling I am capable of understanding. Lillianna is my dearest friend and confidant. I understand and love her more than I do myself, and if I should loose her I don't know what I would do." Thranduil stood motionless while his son poured out his heart to him. It was not a confession he wasn't expecting, but he was concerned at the passion of it and warned his son.
"You may have helped Lillianna with her past sadness, but she is still on uncertain ground. Do not make these claims of love until you can prove it with your actions. She has vowed she will not give herself to another while her work remains, and your confessions would grieve her, for she would have to make a terrible choice she would not want to make. She loves you greatly, I see it in everything she does, but having you be a distraction by your spouts of devotion she would not allow. If you truly love her, you will remain silent on this matter, unless she confronts you first."
Legolas despaired at this, but knew his father to be correct and so kept silent his affections, for he would not dare do anything to burden her. Though she told him she did not love Glorfindol, Legolas often felt like he didn't deserve her, though he would not bear to see her give herself to anyone else.
Lillianna was grieved, for she herself was desperately in love with Legolas, but knew she could never endanger him or try to seek his feelings. "He probably doesn't even care for me in that manner. He is a dear friend, but I doubt he feels anything more." And becomming anxious with that, she decided she had to leave Greenwood for a time, to get away from whom she loved most. Legolas was grieved when she told her, but he knew she could not remain there forever. The joy she gave to him could not be just kept within Greenwood.
"I think I shall visit the dwarves of the Lonely mountain and try to earn their respect. For I am ashamed at the way many of my race treat them without knowing anything about them." She said as she mounted Nimloth on the day she would journey home. Legolas only nodded, but bid her to write letters, and maybe one day return. At this she smiled, "Of course I will. You are too dear of a friend for me to just let go." She bent down and kissed his forehead while she fought back the tears that rose in her eyes. "Goodbye Legolas" she softly said, her face a vision of pure loveliness.
"Goodbye Lillianna." Legolas said with an attempt to remain cheerful. "Amin mela lle"(I love you) he said under his breath as she turned away.
Several miles away from Thranduil's halls, Lillianna's heart swelled and the tears of anguish rolled down her face.
"There my heart lies forever in the hands of an elven prince." she said as she looked back into the forest. "How ironic that I should find the greatest joy, and with that gain the deepest pain."
