*note:*When I refer to "bob" in this document, I mean of course, the best Christian comedian: Bob Smiley. This is just for your information. Thank you.
Yes, it was my great privilege and honor to attend the 2nd annual festival con dios in Visalia, Ca. Some may wish to ask me, “Rachel, why are you taking the time to document this event? Was it really that spectacular?” And of course, my reply would be “Why, yes I would like to document this event, for it differed from the last time I went to fcd on several points. I feel that the stories I have would benefit everyone if I wrote it down before it became lost from my short term memory.”
So there you have it – the reason why I seek to write out my experience at festival con dios. And now I shall begin.
Well, I can’t really say if this fcd was better than last years for there were things that were better and things that weren’t. On one hand, I liked the line up for last year better. There were more bands that I personally enjoyed, but the weather this year was better, and I was able to do more things than I was last year, as you will soon see. I may have to reflect on this more and get back to you at the end. But enough of rambling…
Our long day started at 8:30am. Yes, you read right. This is the time we were instructed to be there, and I am sure someone made a tactical error because when you add up the amount of time me and my sister spent standing around waiting while trying to figure out what to do, we could have come a lot later. But, it worked out. We met who we were supposed to meet: a guy from Sara’s school who shall remain nameless for reasons not yet known. (but you will soon see. I will call him “Jo” from now on) Anyway, “Jo” was the one who allowed for us to be involved “officially” in the setting up of the tents and whatnot. I was glad that I was cold – I knew the amount of work that went involved last year and how much the heat attributed to it. The cold breeze was a nice sign that the work would not be so strenuous, and that the lack of water around would not be a problem.
Anyway so at about 9:30ish we finally started setting up the tents and I was amazed at how much I remembered from last year. Unfortunately, I remembered that it took a long time to get all the tents up, but this year we had more people so it went faster. I was with this cool Hispanic dude who was really buff, and who did the hardest parts of setting up the tents. (for which I was extremely grateful) I guess I should give you a big long lecture on how one sets up a fcd tent….I sure as heck would know how to because I set up at least ten. But, I’m not going to for three reasons.
(1) you’d be bored to death
(2) I don’t know all the technical terms
And (3) I want you to think I’m really cool for doing something so difficult. If I told you the process, you’d be less impressed.
Anyway, so we worked like elephants and sweated like goats for another 3 hours which greatly impressed the male workers we were with. At one point, David(the Hispanic buff guy) teased his fellow workers saying that “The girls worked harder than you.” Needless to say, that was the ego boost for the morning….or should I say early afternoon. It was noon and we had set up all the tents but our task master (Who I remembered from last year. He had a beard and a toby mac sweatshirt.) was not through with us. He sent us over to organize some spare tent parts before we were done. I got to roam a little backstage while I was doing that, but there was nothing interesting to see. (Last year I saw Peter Furler and Jody Davis backstage but was too polite to bother them)
Before I could satisfy my aching, hungry stomach, I had to say “hi” to bob who suddenly appeared out of nowhere after I had finished pleasing our task master. He was very happy to see me again and I was thrilled with the prospect of working at his merchandise booth. I also was thrilled when he opened my present I had for him. He was not so thrilled with the contents, but got a kick out of my little joke. You see, bob awhile ago made this big deal about “chic-o-sticks”(those insides of butter fingers….or whatever they claim to be) and how they were the “candy from hell”, so I thought I’d be a little devil and give one to him for a joke. I saw one at the gas station about a week ago that was pretty small. I thought it’d be perfect. Bob loved it. He could not believe they were in smaller sizes. “They’re marketing to kids now!” he said, horrified. *insert smilie face here*
Anyway, my stomach was at that time eating itself so I had to go make it stop. It was cool because where the volunteers ate, the bands also ate, though this mean lady made them segregated from us. Like maybe she thought we would attack them or something or give them germs. I don’t know what her problem was. Oh well, I had a good time gazing. The Benjamin Gate sat right next to us but I didn’t say anything to them because I knew they would just politely tell me to go away. Who wants to be bothered while they’re eating anyway?? I don’t. So yeah. I ate interesting food. But it was food so I didn’t complain. Now I know how the bands feel when they talk in fear about the different food they’ve had to eat on tour. “I can only imagine” (hahaha get it?? Mercy Me was there…yeah uh nevermind) the horrors they’ve had to endure.
Well, after lunch till fcd started, I mostly just hung around bob’s booth and helped him get ready. I did wander around to the other booths, but nothing extraordinary happened. The juicey stuff happens later.
Monica and Stephanie were the names of the other girls who were going to help at bob’s booth, and they were nice. I could sense, sometimes, though that they were politely telling me to go away. They kept saying “Oh you can go up to the front and listen to the bands because we have it covered here.” I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to sell anything, but I figured I would take them up on their offer because I really wanted to see the Benjamin Gate and Tree63 up close, and I knew I’d be up close because Sara had nabbed a spot (the same place were in last time in fact) up front.
Everday Sunday was pretty good, as was Sanctus Real but I didn’t know any of their songs. I felt sorry for Sanctus Real because when they played their first song, no one clapped afterwards. I did, but my clap is barely audible so I bet they thought I was just being nice.
For the most part, being up in the front is a very rewarding experience. You feel the cool breeze and not the stench of other people’s bodies. You see the bands up close and personal, and you have the perfect range for taking pictures. On the other hand, being up in the front can be a very very bad thing. The band people can see you as you see them and they can poke fun at you or make scary faces at you. This is what Aaron Spiro did, and he showed us no mercy. Luckily, I was out of the “us”, but my sister and my friend Becky were being constantly looked at by this strange man. He would make all sorts of interesting faces at them. Too bad I didn’t bring a mirror so he could see. Jeremy Camp was another interesting person. His eyes were piercingly blue, and his arms were so buff I was afraid of him. I would not want to be an enemy of that guy. I don’t really like his stuff, though, so I was anxiously awaiting the Benjamin Gate to come on.
Another bad part about being in the front is that people push up on you so they can try to get in the front. This happened last time with the newsboys and I was determined no one would steal my spot. Luckily, no big men were trying for the front – just a puny little girl who turned out to be quite a character.
The Benjamin Gate was really good and everyone loved them. I was sad when they had to go off. It seemed so short. They have an awesome stage presence.
During Pillar, the puny little girl showed off her “punky” side. She was rocking out like no one’s business and I thought it was hilarious. She looked like the sort of girl who would be dancing to Britney Spears music. I guess looks are very deceiving. Pillar was good, but when I tried to get the lead singer to pose weird for me (it’s a hobby of mine, you see) he absolutely refused. I was quite indignant.
I finally got to see Tree63 in concert and I was so excited!! They were really good, but their poor lead singer, John looked anorexic. I felt so bad for him! I wished I had brought some oreos to throw at him to fatten him up. Their bass player was cool, but I didn’t realize how cool until I talked to them later.
After Tree, I left the front so I could go back to Bob’s booth to see if they needed help. On the way, I noticed a person inside a cardboard box that looked like a raccoon. I was terrified and ran away. Later, Sara told me that it was “Jo” who was inside that box. When I asked why, she said she didn’t know. You see now why I changed his name in this story…
The people at bob’s booth didn’t need help, so I went over to the Benjamin Gate and Tree63’s booth and got some pictures of them. I didn’t talk to them much, but I did get to meet Tree for the first time and that was really cool. Their bassist is I swear the sweetest guy I have ever met in a band. I totally fell in love with him! (and I got a picture with him later.) But he was married(figures). Darn. He wasn’t that cute, either, just really really extremely nice!!!! *sigh* DANIEL!! (yes that was his name) And he has an accent…another bonus. Well, while I was chatting back and forth with the two south African bands, I noticed that there was a long line for something. I found out what it was. Toby was signing autographs. I thought, “Hey that’s cool, but there’s no way I’m waiting in line for that!” so I just did a stalker move: snuck up and took a quick shot of him signing. I am wondering how that will turn out. Paparazzi here I come!! (haha j/k)
Ah let’s see, what did I do next? Sara got a job working at Jeremy Camp’s merchandise booth so I just meandered around for awhile looking at stuff. It was cool because I felt no pressure or no anxiousness. Just me and the booths, man. (and the people, and the noise, and the trash….) Later, after Mercy Me, I finally got to be at Bob’s booth by myself and this is where the fun began.
I don’t know what sort of authoritative position I put on upon myself when I stepped behind that booth, but apparently I was looked at with a new light from the people on the other side. I guess they think, “oooh that person is on the OTHER side of the booth. I bet they know something!” I am only voicing this because so many people came up to me to ask me stuff. I wondered if I had a “Psychiatric help: 5 cents” signed posted somewhere. I felt really bad too because most of the time I had to admit I didn’t know where the lost and found was, no I don’t have a spare pen, and no we don’t accept ATM cards. Perhaps there should be some sort of training in this area before one is allowed to work at a merchandise booth. Also, you find interesting people who will come and talk to you. Let me tell you of this one particular person I shall name “Fred” for the moment. He came up to by a “Satan is a nerd” shirt that was very popular throughout the day, and I thought he was just a little strange in the way he talked and acted. He left though so I thought I wouldn’t see him again. Well, a little later he came back and started looking again at the stuff on a table.
Me: “uh, would you like to buy a cool arm thingy?”
Fred: “hey, are those shirts folded?”
Me: *can’t hear because of the noise* “What?”
Fred: *comes closer to my dismay* “Are those shirts folded?” *points to the back*
Me: *looks around and sees crumpled “Satan is a Nerd” shirts* “Uh…I guess not”
Fred: “did you rip me off?”
Me: *not understanding* “Uh…would you like a folded shirt?”
Fred: “Sure!” *takes out his other shirt*
Me: *folds a new shirt* *exchanges it with the unfolded shirt* “There you go.”
Fred: “Thank you.”
Naturally, I thought he was satisfied and that he would leave. But he would not leave. I didn’t know if he was slightly mentally retarded or if he was just……born that way. It was kind of sad. I hope and pray it wasn’t because the guy liked me. I always get the freaks, however, so I shouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, so he still was there and he leaned over to talk to me and I backed up just a bit.
Fred: “I’m going to wear this at school.” *meaning the shirt he got*
Me: “Oh” *looking for something to distract him*
Fred: “I’m probably going to look all gothic, huh? Like that guy.” *pointing to a person wearing all black*
Fred: *before I can respond* “Have you ever gone to school looking gothic?”
Me: *still trying to contemplate the importance of our conversation* “Uh, no actually I haven’t done that.” *Sees the “comedy newsletter sign up sheet”.* “Would you like to sign up for a free comedy newsletter???”
Fred: “Sure!”
As soon as he did that, a couple girls came up to buy stuff. I eagerly greeted them. Then, Fred said, “See you later” and I hoped he would be horribly wrong on that. I felt bad about wanting him to go away, but you just don’t cross the line between “Behind the table” and “walking on the other side of the table.”
Aside from Fred, there was no one else really who made a scene. I didn’t get a whole lot of business, but I wasn’t totally without a job either. It was cool because Bob came back periodically and would talk to me to keep me company. That was nice. Also, I was right next to the Sanctus Real people who ran their own booth and we were both rocking out when Toby and Audio A did their shows. It was awesome just hanging out.
I was sad when I had to leave, because it meant I had to leave. But, I had lots of good stories to tell to everyone and memories to last a lifetime. I was quite encouraged at the end when Bob gave me a huge hug and said,
“So I’ll see you next year at the same time same place?”
and I heartily replied “It would be my pleasure.”
The great thing about Bob is that he makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the whole place. I hope he never changes.
