7.21.92 Trax - *Some guy in the audience: "Hey Dave, you're showing a little muscle tonight, I see." *Dave: " I just thought, as he's pointed out here tonight, I'm showing a little bit of muscle tonight... because, I'm so massively strong that I felt it was unkind of me, unkind of me, selfish of me, to only admire my huge biceps in the mirror at home... when I'm doing what I shouldn't be doing, at home... according to those hairy hand seekers."
8.4.92 - *Dave (Before One Sweet World): "I wrote a pretty straightforward song when me and Carter and Stefan and Leroi were in my basement a few months ago and was a really mellow song and then Carter took it and turned it into the funk, this weird Virginia funk thing, and so it means well in sensitivity but... it'll pump ya butt pretty good!" *Dave (After Dancing Nancies before Spotlight): "I'm gonna do one more and then I have to go to the the lodge and then so all y'all gotta come to the lodge when you got a good buzz on so and then um come to the lodge... and then we won't sound as... as... (?) with a good buzz on... chink. Yeah. This song I have, I kinda hate this song but again I like this song... so sometimes I wanna puke when I hear this song and other times I don't wanna puke but eh. Part of it is a puke song part of its not a puke song. So listen for the good parts and when you hear the puke parts... puke... just don't puke on me."
11.3.92 - *Dave: "SCHWINGADINK... ba ba da ba da BOW BOW! That shit kicks my ASS!... - This is a song about little pink drinks that look like condoms... - With all the excitement of these elections... I lost all my fucking hair..."
"The name of this song is... every once in a while we get a new president."
11.17.92 - *Dave: "I was feeling the possibility of a cold, a head cold, starting this morning. Because you have to be a very stupid, stupid man to shave your head when winter's coming, and I fit the necessary categories. The characteristics are mine, I'll shave my head in the arctic if necessary, just to be a nu-nu, as my mom would say. "You're a nu-nu, David." But more likely she'd say (Daves voice gets high) "nu-nu!". This song is also kind of new... new."
6.9.93 - *Dave (Conversation between Dave and Carter) -"I think tonight's a good night for a daiquiri party... It's fuckin hot. I don't normally swear at all, unless it's fuckin hot. Then I say it's fuckin hot over and over again." *Carter - "Is it fuckin hot Dave?" *Dave - "Fuckin hot means it's not fuckin cold, Carter, you fuckin idiot!" *Carter - "Dave wants me to fuck him up!" *Dave - "Jane's my sister, she's fuckin hot, and this is the Song that Jane Likes!" *Carter- "You mean the fuckin Song that Jane Likes!"
7.6.93, Trax - *Dave "I'm gonna do another song by myself and then my friend Carter is going to come out and (in a weird accent) 'funk it up de back beat'. Cha ba ba cha ba ba ba, eeeek! 'cause... Carter does it like that." - "That's Leroi Moore on the saxophone and (weird accent again) de Carter Beaufod-be-bo-be-bo-boo!!" - *Carter responds to Dave: "What the hell is that shit, man?!"
7.17.94, - Ballard, WA - (After the last song, Dave comes back out for the encore) "Sorry if it took a little while, I had to smoke a bowl."
7.30.94 -"Remember that there are hundreds of thousands of things you can eat that are not cheese."
10.21.94, - Mississippi Nights, St. Louis, MO.-(before Recently)-"This is a song about somebody I was fucking...no, this is a song about somebody that I really liked a lot... maybe, I don't know... and I happened to be at the same time that I really enjoyed this person..fucking her at the same time.
2.26.95, - Rochester Auditorium - Dave said that the name 'Under the Table and Dreaming' referred to "when you're so drunk you fall down and can't get up".
2.1.96 - "So we went to the mall today...it looked pretty much like every other fuckin mall anywhere. Except this one had a gap! ...if I did comedy that'd be pretty weak, wouldn't it?..."
12.96 - US Air Arena, Landover, MD - (Dave is talking about different sections of the arena. Pointing to where there were people in sky boxes) "The people up there are smokin' that marijuana!"
June 22, 2000 - Deer Creek Music Center - Noblesville, IN "Sorry it's been takin so long for our new album. We've been busy playing football and frisbee." "Man, it is hot out here. Are you all hot? It's so hot my pants are falling off."
