Sea Lab 2021
Captain Hazel "Hank" Murphy
voiced by Harry Goz
Captain Murphy is, as the name would imply, captain of the Sealab. Problem is, after a year under the sea, he's gone completely mad, from dealing with stress, orphans, and all of the idiots he puts up with. But, Murphy remains blissfully unaware of his insanity.
Marco Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar Gabriel Garcia Marquez
voiced by Erik Estrada
Marco is Captain Murphy's insane Latin first mate. He is a womanizing, steroid-freak of a man, but his inflated ego doesn't let him notice. And he's probably one of the only ones who can tolerate Murphy.
Jodene Sparks
voiced by Bill Lobley
Sealab's communications expert and radio operator. Though he seems like a mere sarcastic ass on the outside, on the inside he is probably one of the sickest minds on Sealab.
Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn
voiced by Brett Butler
The only seemingly sane person on Sealab, Dr. Quinn has a Ph.D. and it is usually up to him to save the Sealab and its staff regularly. He is undoubtedly the smartest person on Sealab with a 260 IQ.
Derek "Stormy" Waters
voiced by Ellis Henican
Another nut inhabiting the Sealab. Stormy is just the average good looking guy who's a total idiot. His presence makes it harder for anyone else on Sealab to make any sort of progress.
Debbie DuPree
voiced by Kate Miller
A marine biologist and one of the only females aboard the Sealab. She is about as insane as the rest of the Sealab crew, and she is pretty much disgusted with the men of Sealab.
Hesh
voiced by Chris Ward
The youngest crew member on Sealab, and the biggest brat. Hesh is immature, and no one really likes him. He speaks in a whiny, nasal voice, and works in Sealab's reactor core.
Dolphin Boy
A little fat kid who communicates in dolphin speak.
Teacher Debbie: "Lord, her clock went off. That sweet girl's about to
embark on a magical journey. Most powerful thing in the world is the love of a
woman for a child."
Dolphin Boy: (squeaks)
Teacher Debbie: "Listen Fatty, I told you once. You can either hold it, or
you can just pee in that wet suit!"
Marco: "Well, Debbie thinks this
is all about her biological clock."
Stormy: "She stopped screaming enough to tell you that?"
Marco: "No no no no, the other Debbie. Debbie the teacher."
Stormy: "Oh, you mean... black Debbie."
Sparks: "Woah woah woah, why is she... black Debbie?"
Stormy: "Not in a bad way, it's just to tell them apart because she's...
black."
Sparks: "Well, why don't you call her Debbie, and call the other one... white
Debbie."
Stormy: "White Debbie? That's stupid! I know she's white."
Marco: "Then why do you call the other Debbie "black Debbie?" You
know she's black!"
Stormy: "Hey, first off, I really don't think we should be talking about
this in front of Dr. Quinn."
Quinn: "Listen man, you're missing the point. What if everybody went around
calling you "white Stormy?""
Stormy: "You mean there's a black Stormy?"
Quinn: "... No."
Captain Murphy: "Well, as long as the baby
doesn't touch my stash."
Debbie: "Your what?"
Captain Murphy: "... Mustache."
Sparks: "Okay Debbie, forget
about Hesch."
Debbie: "Okay."
Sparks: "I've got something for you."
Debbie: "What is it?"
Sparks: "A book."
Debbie: "What's the book?"
Sparks: "A Modest Proposal."
Debbie: "By whom?"
Sparks: "Jonathan Swift."
Debbie: "And what is the book about?"
Sparks: "Eating babies."
-----
Stormy: "Stupid Hesch. I'll show him what a pipe is."
Teacher Debbie: "Hey Stormy!"
Stormy: "Hey! Bla... Debbie! ... Hey, do you like rap?"
Teacher Debbie: "Now what in the hell is --"
-----
Debbie: "-- that supposed to mean?"
Sparks: "Like veal... only babies."
Debbie: "WHAT!?"
Sparks: "And I'm talking real baby back ribs. See, it all comes
--"
-----
Stormy: "-- down to the fact that you all have far more fast-twitch muscle
fiber."
Teacher Debbie: "Stormy Waters, I have heard some dumb theories in my time,
but this is, without a doubt --"
-----
Debbie: "-- the foulest thing I have ever heard!"
Sparks: "Rrrriibs! Dripping with sauce!"
Debbie: "That's disgusting!"
Sparks: "Falling off the bone!"
Debbie: "You sick bastard!"
Sparks: "Just trying to help out a single mom."
Debbie: "I am surrounded by freaks!"
Stormy: (comes in) "Man, don't go out there, that black chick is
crazy!"
Debbie: "If I want a steroid freak baby, I'll call you."
Director: "You have five seconds to be on your mark and in wardrobe, or
I will personally climb inside your abdominal cavity and make a little house in
there for my dogs to play in!"
Quinn (as a fish): "Hey man, did you know there's toxic waste like,
right over there?"
Whale: "Uh... humans and their filthy ravenous machines... spewing out vile
toxins..."
Quinn: "Might even be radioactive. I think we ought to get everybody out
o-"
Whale: "Did you know that the average fish today contains more mercury than
a rectal thermometer?"
Quinn: "Yeah, I think I read that someplace."
Whale: "Would you eat a rectal thermometer!? Answer me, damn you!"
Quinn: "Uh... no."
Whale: "Well, I would." (eats Quinn the fish)
Quinn: "HEY!"
Whale: "Ah, mercury. Sweetest of the transition metals."
Quinn: "That's not in the budget. How're we paying for all this?"
Sparks: "Selling pot... holders. Made of hemp."
Captain Murphy: "Woah! Hey! It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my
brain!"
Marco: "I'll see what I can do about finding your little... toy."
Captain Murphy: "It's not a toy. It makes real cupcakes with a 40 watt
bulb, and there's icing packets. But the secret ingredient is love... dammit."
Marco: "What kind of madman are you?"
Sparks: "Oh, you know, the regular kind. World domination, the usual. I've
even got a secret mountain stronghold."
Marco: "You do not!"
Sparks: "Do to! Check this out, smart guy. Attention henchmen... this is
Overlord."
Henchmen: "All hail the Overlord. All hail the Overlord."
Sparks: "Man, that kills me."
Captain Murphy: "Dr. Quinn, have you found my oven? Oh, and, uh, is
Stormy dead yet?"
Captain Murphy: "Now, you people get that oven, or die trying. You hear
that, Stormy? DIE."
Quinn: "What's the deal with this French guy?"
Stormy: "I think he's just here for atmosphere."
French Guy: "Fah me eet wahs lahk ah rahtahn to thah woommb. Ah wahs
ahbsahbed bah mahthah oshahn een all her wahndrahs gloree."
Quinn: "What is he gibbering about?"
Stormy: "I don't know; it's French. It's crap."
French Guy: "Thah see ees ah seemphonee ahf cahlors, ahnd yet, thahre ees
dahnger aht ehvree turn. She ees a fierce ahnd fickahl mahsstrahss.
Quinn: "Hey! Shut your fryhole!"
French Guy: "Oh, poop."
Quinn: "He wants the oven! If we just give him the oven --"
Captain Murphy: "NO! You are expendable; that oven is not."
Sparks: "That tears it! How many times do I have to hear the word
"womb" today!?"
