When I left Amy’s room I let the tears run down my cheeks. I loved her so much. Why’d she have to go through this? I was so confused. I had no clue what to do with all the emotions flowing through me. The major one was fear. I was so afraid of losing so many things. My fiancé, what would I do if I lost her to this endless dark pit that was her depression? My family, my brothers. Zac probably hates me with a passion now…which is understandable. I let my anger get the best of me. But I still love the fuck. I’d have to find him and apologize. But everyone else. I had no clue what their views on the whole thing was.
When I got to the van the first one to comfort me was obviously mom. “How is she?” She asked taking my hand as I sat near the front next to Ike.
“Lonely and scared. But I’m coming everyday to visit.” I said.
“Of course. I knew you would.” She said. I nodded but what happened next shocked me. Isaac put his arm around me.
“Don’t worry. She’ll be fine. She’s too stubborn to let this get the best of her.” I turned towards him and pulled him in a hug.
“I know. Thanks.” When we got home I instantly went upstairs to my room. As I went through the hall I overheard Zac and Care in their room. From the sound of their moaning, gasping and grunting I knew what was going on. And personally I didn’t want to hear it. But I didn’t want to go back downstairs because I know they’d want to talk about Amy Lee. And I didn’t want to do that at all. So I quietly went into my room, quietly closed the door and climbed onto the bed. Amy took my pillow to the hospital after spraying my CkBe on it so I was left with her pillow…smelling like Clinque’s Happy, love, and sex.
~Isaac’s P.O.V.~
We all sat around in the kitchen—me, Beth, Alicia, Mom and Dad. “So you guys, what do you think?” Mom asked.
“About what? Her depression? We’ve been through it before, she’ll be fine.” Alicia said kinda coldly.
“No, the reason she’s so depressed. What do you think about her and Zac?” Dad asked.
“I knew about it.” Beth said.
“Me too.” Alicia said.
“But there’s no longer and Amy and Zac. Amy ended it awhile ago.” Beth said.
“I don’t even know why she told anyone else.” Alicia said…the coldness definitely obvious.
“Because it was killing her inside.” Beth defended shooting Alicia a LOOK.
“But now it’s killing everyone else. And the band.” I said.
“Ok guys. There’s obviously a lot to talk about here. But let’s not get into it without Taylor, Zac, and Care.” Mom said.
“When will that be?” Beth asked.
“Tomorrow. Taylor just put his fiancé in the hospital, let him rest for a little bit. He needs it.” Mom said. We all agreed. We went to our rooms and Alicia went to Ashley’s house. Beth seemed pretty distant and flinched at my touch.. I gave up, laid down and fell asleep, with Beth’s back towards me.
~Taylor’s P.O.V~
I woke up to the noon sun shining in my eyes. I was above the covers, still in yesterday’s clothes. I glanced at the clock, 12:17pm. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My face was white and my eyes bloodshot. I showered and went downstairs. I found Mom, Dad, Ike, Beth, Alicia, Care and Zac seemingly waiting for me. “Hey honey.” Mom called once she saw me.
“Hey.” I said emotionlessly.
“We wanted to talk, all of us, about Amy.” Dad said. I looked at him.
“Sure, whatever.” I said as I sat as far away from them as possible.
“And what happened between her and Zac.” Mom added.
“No fucking way!!! I REFUSE to talk about it!” I yelled getting up. Isaac pulled me down.
“Then just listen.” He said sternly.
“Either way you’re staying.” Beth said. I gave up and got comfortable in my chair.
“First of all when did everyone find out?” Mom asked.
“Amy told me on the way back from Minnesota.” Alicia said lowering her head. “She felt so guilty.”
“Amy told me three days after we got home but I had been suspicious since we got home.” Beth said. I debated on whether or not I should say anything…
“I found out when Beth did.” I said. Everyone was shocked that I spoke. I was too. “I overheard them.”
“I can’t believe you!! I can’t believe you eavesdropped on us!!” Beth yelled.
“I didn’t mean to!” I got defensive. “As soon as I heard you talking I started to leave but then you said you knew she slept with Zac. How the hell could I walk away from that!!?” Beth was about to yell again but mom stopped her.
“Ok, settle down. So Taylor, you found out?” Mom asked. I nodded.
“He then came and told me.” Care said.
Dad did the math on his hand. “And we left for NY the next day…” He said.
“On the flight is when Beth told me but I don’t think it sunk in until yesterday.” Isaac said.
“So everyone knew but didn’t bother to say a damn word!!?” Zac asked angrily. “It really would’ve helped with the stress. Maybe then Amy wouldn’t be in this situation.”
I couldn’t believe he said that. I took it upon myself to show him WHY we didn’t say anything. “What’d you want me to do Zac? One night, big family dinner, ‘Hey Zac, how are you? That’s good, why’d you fuck my fiancé?’ I don’t think that would’ve worked too well.” I said with an obvious edge in my voice.
“I’m sorry.” Zac whispered.
I glared at him. “You better be.”
“Taylor…” Mom warned.
“Well he better be as sorry as Amy Lee. Amy destroyed our relationship. Zac destroyed the band. I’m still trying to decide which one’s more important.”
“TAYLOR!?” Mom said shocked.
“Blood’s thicker than water Tay.” Beth said. I didn’t even have to think before the next words flew from my mouth.
“Did you forget about my baby. Sorry but there’s blood on both sides.” The room fell silent again. “I want to move out.” The shock hit everyone and Zac broke into tears.
“No, Tay, please don’t.” Zac begged.
“I’m so confused right now Zac I have to.” I walked over to him and as I raised my hands to his shoulders he flinched. I will never forget that moment. To see that my brother was actually afraid of me. “It not just your fault. Remember that. Amy was in the wrong too. I just need to be alone.” Zac continued to cry. “I’m far from forgiving you, but I never stopped loving you.” He broke into hysterics and I left, tears falling from my eyes as well.
~Care’s P.O.V~
Taylor left us all in a state of shock. Zac was crying uncontrollably in Mom’s arms. “Please mom, tell me I didn’t just destroy the family.” He pleaded. Mom just rocked him in her arms.
“No, Zachary, you didn’t. We’re too strong for that. There’s just a lot going on.” She said trying her hardest not to cry but letting a few tears fall.
“I can’t believe Taylor did that!” Beth said angrily.
“No Beth, he had every right.” I said. Just then I heard Taylor coming back downstairs. He came and sat down again, not looking at any of us.
“I figured I shouldn’t have left like that.” He said.
“No you shouldn’t have.” Dad said. “But it’s understandable.”
“Tay, did I really ruin the band?” Zac asked quietly.
“I think so. I’m not sure. For now maybe.” You could tell he was really confused.
“Zac, why’d you do it?” Isaac asked. Zac sat there for a moment…thinking.
“I don’t know. At first it was just because she needed to be comforted.”
“Why?” Taylor asked suddenly—almost angrily. Zac shot him a look.
“Because Taylor, it KILLED her when she walked in on you and Sarah. Tay—you cheated on her first!!” Zac yelled.
“WHAT!?” Mom, Dad, Isaac and Beth asked in shock. They all looked at Taylor. He was in shock that Zac even brought that up.
“Oh yeah, you know the Sarah we used to play soccer with?” Zac asked. “Well, she’s just a little closer to Tay now.”
“You fucked Sarah!?” Isaac asked beyond shocked to say the least.
“NO!!” Taylor screamed.
“What happened then?” Ike asked calmer.
“Amy walked in on Taylor here getting head from Sarah during Seven Minutes In Heaven.” Zac said. Taylor looked down but Zac continued to shoot him a death glare that I’m sure Taylor could feel burning into his head. “And it killed her. It really did.”
“That still doesn’t make sense.” Dad said slowly. “That was back at New Year’s. It’s now mid-February. And you and Amy just had sex like a week or two ago. Why now?”
Zac looked over at dad truthfully. “I honestly couldn’t tell you. I don’t even know how it happened.” Zac said quietly.
I had to ask the question that had been driving me insane since I found out about the affair. “Zac, who started it? I don’t care about New Year’s. The Minnesota thing…who started it?” Zac got an almost frightened look on his face. “Please Zac, tell me.”
“I kissed her first. But she was the one that asked me to sleep with her.”
“No she didn’t!!” Taylor said determinedly.
“Yes she did!” Zac retorted. “And it’s destroyed my life ever since I said yes.”
“Well it’s destroyed mine too.” Taylor said quietly.
“Mine too.” I said softly.
“I STILL can’t believe you CHEATED on her.” Beth said. “How could you!?”
“I don’t know…it just happened. It wasn’t that bad.”
“No wonder she cheated on you.” She snapped.
“What the hell!!?” Taylor yelled.
“Bethany! That does NOT excuse what Amy did.” Dad said. Beth sat quiet.
“I guess not.” She said barley audible.
“I can’t be here now.” Taylor stated, starting to cry.
“Me either.” Zac said, his eyes pooling over as well.
“We really need to continue this.” Mom said.
“Not now mom, please.” Taylor begged. “I can’t take this anymore.”
Mom walked over to Taylor and sat down next to him. “Ok, but we WILL continue this….soon.” And she pulled him into a hug. Taylor then got up and headed upstairs.
“I’m going upstairs too.” Zac said. Everyone shared hugs…well almost everyone. I was still confused as to what was going on. There were so many different things contributing to this whole situation.
~Taylor’s P.O.V~
I went up to my room and just thought. About everything. The major ones were New Year’s, my fighting with Ike and Zac, Caroline, and of course Amy Lee. And I thought about my moving out. I have to do it, I knew I did. But I wondered about whether or not I was going to bring Amy with me. I wanted to but I wasn’t sure if we were ready. And what about our baby? If I moved out without her I wouldn’t be able to be there during her pregnancy. And I wanted to be, I really did. ~God dammit, what the HELL is going on with me!? Why am I so fucking confused!!~ I thought angrily. I threw myself into my pillow and punched the bed. About half and hour later someone knocked on my door. “What?” I snapped. The door opened a crack.
“Taylor, honey, I just thought I’d let you know that Amy Lee called and she doesn’t want you to visit her today…or anyone else.” Mom said.
“What? Why?” I asked sitting up.
“I’m assuming it’s because she doesn’t want us seeing her the way she is.”
“Whatever.” I said laying back down. Turning my back towards the door so Mom knew I wanted to leave.
“I love you.” She said.
“Uh huh.” I mumbled.