"Hey honey!" Taylor yelled as he and Matt flew through the front door.
"Hey." I smiled as he rolled over and hugged me. "Eewww! You're all sweaty." I laughed as I let go of him.
"Well geez Amy I thought you liked him that way." Matt laughed.
"Of course I like him that way." I looked over at Tay. "I like him anyway I can get him." I smiled and kissed him. I ended my kiss and both he and Matt sat down next to me. "So what's up?" I asked as I got up and got them some water. I felt Taylor's eyes following me. I smiled to myself.
"Nothing much. I wanted to get you to come play soccer but Tay said you couldn't. Y'know we're going to lose if we ever play without you again." Matt said. "We BARELY beat Zac the week before last."
"I'm sorry." I said as I gave them their water ans sat back down in Taylor's arms.
"It's ok. We'll miss you though." Matt said.
"Oh don't worry, I'll still come watch. I think it's funny watching Taylor work up a sweat when I'm in no way involved." I smiled coyly at Taylor.
"Ha ha hon, very funny." Tay laughed as he tickled my sides. "So what were you going to do today?" He asked as the tickling ceased.
"Umm...I'm not sure." I said thinking. Taylor checked his watch.
"Well babe, while you're thinking about it we have to get going to the park. I love you." Tay said as he got up and kissed me softly.
"Love you too." I decided to go to the mall to get a new outfit for when we were going on the Rosie shoe in three days. That's when we were going to talk about this year's tour and when we were going to tell the world that I was pregnant. God help us.
I got home from shopping at around seven-thirty. I went into our bedroom to find Taylor fast asleep. I smiled to myself as I climbed into bed with him. Feeling the cool sheets on my skin, and watching Taylor's chest rise and fall in a perfect rhythm. God I loved him--and Zac. ~No, you can't love him! Just stop it!!~ I thought angrily. Taylor sighed as I wrappped my arms around him, wanting to feel closer to him. He grabbed my hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "I love you." I whispered. And I did. I loved his so much. My life was so perfect when I was with him. Nothing could possibly go wrong. He's all that I needed. I always wanted someone to love me so completely as Taylor did. My heart fluttered at his touch. Everytime. I smiled at the mere thought of his smile, his laugh, his love.
"I love you too." He said tiredly as he drifted off to sleep again. I closed my eyes and fell asleep too.
~Beth's P.O.V.~
As I laid in Isaac's arms watching TV I couldn't help but think about the whole Amy/Zac situation. ~How am I supposed to bring something like that up?~ I asked myself and I was kinda mad that I was the one "Chosen" to do this. I was so confused but I knew I had to do it. Someone did.
~Zac's P.O.V.~
I knew someone would figure out what happened between me and Amy. I just hoped they didn't get the crazy idea that they had to tell Taylor or Caroline. Life as WE know it would be over. And it would be all my fault. ~No Zac, it takes two people to do what you did. Don't forget that. It'd be just as much her fault as yours~ I was still upset about her "breakin up" with me. I loved her dammit. ~I still do...I think~ I was so confused and angry but I knew Amy was right. We really weren't meant to be together. But it was still going to be hard. How could I resist the urge to hold, kiss, and make love to her?
~Beth's P.O.V.~
I woke up knowing that today was the day I was going to talk to Amy. So I quietly got up, showered and thought about what I was ging to say. I went downstairs but she wasn't there. "Hey Avie, have you seen Amy?" I asked as I sat down next to her on the couch.
"Yeah she's in the treehouse." She said without drawing her attention away from the TV.
"Ok, thanks." I said as I got up. ~This is perfect.~ I thought as I climbed up the ladder. I found her deep in thought. "Hey." I said quietly. She jumped up at least three feet. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I said as I sat down next to her.
"That's ok. I was just thinking...." She said. She looked like she was on the verge of tears and her voice cracked a little when she talked.
"About what?" I was going to give her a chance to tell me. It'd make my job a LOT easier. Her breathing got to the point where she could've lost it at anytime. She was about to cry. "Amy I know." I said after a bit.
"About what!?" She asked regaining her composure and getting defensive.
"You and Zac."
~My P.O.V.~
How could she know? She couldn't. I was speechless. I wasn't about to admit it. Care and Tay couldn't find out. "I know you slept with him" Beth said quietly. I found my voice.
"No I didn't!!"
"Amy, I know you did. I'm one of your best friends, I know these things. It's ok, I won't tell anyone." She said taking my hand. The ball of emotion I had felt in my throat broke and I cried, I cried so hard. My shoulders shook with each breath I tried to take.
"I wasn't supposed to happen!!" I cried putting my head in my hands. Beth placed her arm around me.
"Shh, it's ok. But we have to talk about this. You know that."
"No I can't. It hurts too much." I said shaking my head. I could NOT reveal all that happened. Not now, not ever.
"Why?" She pressed. I sat in silence, thinking. Not of anything specific, just letting questions run through my head. Ideas, feelings....nothing I could grasp. Then it all came out. I let it slip.
"Because I broke his heart. His delicate little heart. And it would kill Care and Taylor if they ever found out." I cried.
"Whoa Amy, slow down. What are you talking about? How could you have broken his heart? Please just start from the beginning." She pleaded while trying to calm me. I sniffled and tried to gather myself. Well at least to the point that I could talk, could tell her a little.
"Well ever since that fucking truth or dare question there was A LOT of sexual tension between me and Zac. And throughout the night more and more jsut built up...even though we were also releasing it. We then kinda avoided each other until the plane ride to MN. Then he asked me advice on his relationship with Care, which I gave. The time in MN went fine until you guys went to Wal-mart."
"I thought you went to visit your mom." She said confused.
"For like twenty minutes, she had and appt. So she drove me back to Leesha's. Where I found Zac, alone. We tried to make normal conversation, like a total of four sentences. But then the sexual tension just overloaded and all it took was my hand on his knee." I stopped and looked down. This was so hard to say. When I looked back on it it discusted me. I don't know what the FUCK I was thinking. I looked at Beth and she sat quietly waiting for me to go on. "He kissed me, I happily accepted, I wanted more. I took him into the room Taylor and I had been sleeping in and the rest is history. I had sex with him." I choked. "I took his virginity for God's sake!" I said as the tears overflowed again. The hot salty tears buring into my cheeks. And no matter how hard I tried to brush them away they seemed to scar my face, a burning reminder.
"Shh, it's ok. But I know there's more." I had to gather myself once again. Each time getting easier and easier.
"Well after that, like RIGHT after, when I was still laying naked in his arms we got in a fight. Which really ruined the mood." I said trying to lighten the mood in the treehouse. It didn't work. "Anyway, it was about the fact that we couldn't let that affect our relationships. And he freaked out. Saying it would and we couldn't stop that. I tried to convince myself that what happened meant nothing--I'm still trying--but I couldn't deny it. It did. And he knew that. He was able to persuade me to admit my love to him. And I told him that even though I was going to stay with Taylor we'd still have times like that." I said, my vioce getting lower as I continued.
"No, Amy, you didn't." She said in disbelief. She was disappointed in me, I knew it. And I hated it when someone was disappointed in me.
"I did. I don't know....I know I loved him..."
"What happened when we got home--back to Tulsa I mean." All these questions drove me crazy. Didn't she know I didn't want to face this? That I just wanted all of this to end?
"Well from the time you got back from Wal-Mart to now we just pretened nothing happened. Then the day we home-the day before yesterday- I talked to him. He came up to my room when the rest of you were unpacking Leesha's stuff. I tried to end it all then but my attraction to him took over again. But when he started to go farther than just kissing I stopped hin. I mean Care and Tay were just downstairs. He was hurt, especially since I told him I couldn't fuck around with him anymore."
"Well good for you." Beth said smiling at me.
"But then I said, 'But if it happens again it happens' And we went a little farther than kissing again." Beth sighed and shook her head at what I knew to be unacceptable behavior. "I got him off me and made love to Tay that night."
"Dammit Amy!! I can't believe you!! What the fuck were you thinking?" Beth yelled, quite angry and shocked but I guess I can't say I blamed her. But it didn't mean that I was just going to take it.
"Oh DON'T EVEN!! Don't EVEN get mad at me! You WANTED to know what happened! So I'm telling you. And you PROMISED you wouldn't tell anyone." I said choking on my anger, defensivness and tears. She sat motionless for a minute.
"I know and I won't, I promise. So what's going on now? What are you going to do?"
"Well, I talked to him yesterday. Because after making love to Tay and sleeping in his arms and feeling do at home and safe when I woke up I knew who I had to be with. And it wasn't Zac." Beth nodded and I knew I had to tell her the rest. "But when I started to tell him I started to cry. He kissed me and again we couldn't control ourselves. But all I could think of was Tay. So I stopped him. And he got mad, like really mad. I asked him not to hate me. He looked at me, told me he could never hate me but I stopped him before he said he loved me. I just couldn't take it. I ran home and here I am. Trying to survive each day as it comes to me, hoping the guilt doesn't eat me alive. Trying to decide if I should tell Taylor and Care. They honestly deserve to know, I know that. But Care is my best friend and Tay is the love of my life. And I know that if either one of them found out they'd leave me in a fucking instant. I could't take it. I couldn't live without them. He's my life. God what am I going to do?" I asked frantically as my emotions took me over. I felt hot tears running down my cheeks, I couldn't stop them, I didn't want to. Beth just pulled me into a hug.
"First of all, you need to relax." I started to speak but she cut me off. "Because remember it was stress like this that caused your sister's miscarriage. And we can't let that happen. Ok?" I nodded my head slowly, wiping the tears from my eyes. "So let's fix you a hot bubble bath and get you some fresh fruit. How do sliced strawberries, kiwi and peaches sound?" I nodded.
"I don't deserve it though." She shot me a look.
"Shut up. Guilt isn't good either." We made it down from the treehouse and into my bathroom without running into anyone. Thank God.
Chapter Five: "Can We Talk?" HOME!