__
                    __ _ / _|_ __ ___
           _____   / _` | |_| '_ ` _ \   _____
          |_____| | (_| |  _| | | | | | |_____|
                   \__,_|_| |_| |_| |_|
                   Another Foggy Moment

 These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
 of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
 Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
 cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
 another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.

    ------------------------------------------------
    WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
    If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
    punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
    the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
    Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
    89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
    -------------------------------------------------

                          - 141 -

 Better fill those gas tanks - Arab Oil Embargo coming. I little
 70's Retro courtesy of the retard in the White House: mile long 
 line ups at the gas stations.
                             *
 Doris and Dickie Duck didn't show up this year. They're a mating
 pair of Mallard ducks that, until now, always showed up in the
 spring to splash around in the neighborhood mud puddles, terrorize 
 the cats and play Chicken with the traffic. That slut Doris would 
 throw herself shamelessly at anyone with a handful of bread crumbs 
 while Dickie pranced around quacking his jealous head off. Whoa is 
 us! This is surely an apocalyptic sign of End Times if I've ever 
 seen one. They've never missed a year. There are lots of other 
 Mallard couples wandering around nearby but it just ain't the 
 same with out Doris and Dickie. They were like family.
                             *
 Wednesday was the Big Day - they filled the gravel pool at U Dub
 and put up the big net in preparation for this year's crop of baby 
 salmon. But, as of Sunday, still no babies. I guess they gotta let 
 the water settle first or something. The Ravens and sea gulls are
 growing impatient. Saw a couple mallards trapped under the net
 unable to find the hole they crawled in. Oh well. Maybe the babies
 will show up this week.
                             *
 The 1st and 3rd Wednesday of every month, rain or shine. Mark it
 down on your calendar. That's when the U Dub Undergrad Astronomy
 Club opens the doors and the dome at the little observatory near
 the 45th Street campus entrance. I wandered by this week and was 
 kind of surprised to see the doors open and people wandering around. 
 The dome used to be open on kind of a hit and miss basis up until 
 a couple years ago. There was one lady who did her best to keep it
 alive. But then it seemed to fritter out and looked pretty unused 
 for quite a while. But now they're back. YeeHa! They had Jupiter 
 in the eyepiece that night. Jove's four most visually prominent 
 moons were all neatly lined up in a row on the right. These U Dub 
 kids are really pros eh! I can never get those moons to do that 
 when I look at Jupiter in my scope.

 The Undergrads open the WHOLE thing up. Lots of fascinating 
 historical instrumentation to see like a big old German transit.
 The dome and telescope date back to the original campus downtown
 and were moved out to Montlake. It must have been one of the 
 first things they moved out there because the building that
 houses the dome is made from left-over stones from Denny Hall
 which was the original U Dub building on the new campus. The 
 dome used to rotate on a bunch of old Civil War era canonballs. 
 People had to be a bit more flexible and resourceful back then. 
 I wouldn't be surprised if the cannonballs are still there.

 [BTW - The Damn Rebs actually did wander up this way during the 
 War. They snuck over to Africa and bought a used frigate that 
 they then sailed around the Horn so they could terrorize the 
 whole freak'n west coast. Worked pretty good too. Sunk a bunch 
 of ships in the Gulf of Alaska plus a few others along the way. 
 Seattle shook in fear more than a couple of times with rumors 
 about that ship coming into Puget Sound waters, though it never 
 actually did. The Rebs finally got bored of scaring the hell 
 outta the Yanks and sailed back to the east coast. Nobody ever 
 did manage to sink it.]
                               *
 More and more of the winter clover is being hauled up at the U 
 Dub Herb Garden to reveal the emerging sprouts of this year's 
 crop of herbs. The students largely seem to ignore it. I hardly 
 ever see anyone else wandering around in it. But I find it 
 irresistable. There is no end of plant weirdness growing there. 
 Stuff I've heard of but never seen before: Wormwood, Hyssop, 
 Hound's Tongue, Anise, etc. etc. There's a big lonely goldfish 
 shyly hiding in the pond nearby too. I think somebody dumped 
 it in there.
                              *
 The ROTC Nazis were out in force Thursday morning. It looked 
 like every Frat House drunk in the District parading around 
 Red Square. Like those anal-retentive fascists in "Animal 
 House" eh. I'd love to see Bluto in the Delta Mobile float 
 suddenly appear and make a suicide run right through the 
 middle of those jerks. A lot of them are Frat Boys. Daddy 
 kindly lets Uncle Sammy pay Little Billy's tuition so he can 
 afford to put his young alcoholic in a Frat House with the
 other rich boys. Free education, free clothes, and lots of 
 drink'n buddies. These are the kind of Lusers who were too 
 stupid to qualify for scholarships. They're clueless enough 
 that unless they have someone else around to think for them, 
 they're lost. Errr...sort of like President Yellowbelly and 
 Dan Quayle. Ideal military leadership material. 
                              *
 As you may have heard, the Queen Mum Bought the Farm this 
 past week. Usually portraited as a sweet old gal, she was 
 in fact, anything but. A classic Gold Digger, born into a 
 family of great wealth and power, she went King Hunting as 
 a young woman. Prince Albert proposed to her three times 
 before she finally caved in. She didn't want that Luser, she 
 wanted his brother Edward - the Royal Twit who was next in 
 line for the throne. He's the Jughead who went on to marry 
 an American divorcee and abdicate, spending WW-II in France 
 negotiating with the Nazis to become King again after they 
 invaded England. Eddy, having his pick of the field, had his 
 sights set on better things than a dumpy, plain-looking rich 
 broad like Liz. Albert, on the other hand, since he didn't 
 really expect to end up King, needed Lizzie's Daddy's cash 
 to keep him in the style to which he was accustomed. She was 
 a thoroughly bigoted old bat who always referred to black 
 people as "nig-nigs" and flagrantly wielded her royal powers 
 for personal gain. She just generally made an ass of herself. 
 The whole family are a bunch of inbred freaks. BTW - The House 
 of Windsor from whence she and her ugly daughter came, was 
 originally The House of Hanover. They're Germans, not English, 
 believe it or not. The name got kind of embarassing so they 
 changed it to something more English sounding a century or 
 so ago.

...............................................................
 
 The following ad appeared recently in a local newspaper...

 SBF seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a
 svelte, good-looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long
 walks in the woods, riding in your pick-up truck; hunting,
 camping, fishing trips; cozy winter nights spent lying by
 the fire.
 Candle-light dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
 Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the
 front door when you get home from work wearing only what
 nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 222-XXXX and
 ask for Daisy.

 (The phone number was for the Humane Society and Daisy was
 an 8-week old Black Lab pup.)
..............................................................

                   ANCIENT FAMILY FEUDS

 Strange isn't it? There's much I admire about Judaism but 
 there is absolutely nothing whatsoever that I admire about 
 Israel. Geographically, politically, culturally - Israel 
 sucks. There are some people who would have you believe 
 this makes me an anti-semite. Pshaw! Can you imagine? A-G
 Ashcroft aside, that's as stupid as branding all atheists,
 Muslims and Buddhists as un-American. 

 The modern political state of Israel and Judaism are two
 entirely distinct entities. The only Israel that matters to 
 God is the people who make up His Family; the only Jerusalem 
 that counts is the one that resides in every person's heart. 
 The modern political state called Israel evolved from the 
 secular political philosophy called Zionism. It has no King, 
 no Temple, no priesthood, no Sanhedrin court or much of 
 anything else in common with the Israel of old. God had 
 nothing to do with it either, though they did make maximum 
 use of His coat-tails. This is not a line of thought 
 encouraged by Israeli governments or the Rabbis of the 
 Diaspora. It's to their advantage to fuzz the distinction. 
 The state of Israel represents both a limited source of 
 temporal power and a Golden Goose of sorts. Perhaps not 
 very religiously edifying, but then neither was the 
 original much of the time.
 
 The expression "anti-semite", which is commonly used to 
 describe someone who is anti-Jewish, is a misnomer. Both 
 Jews and Arabs are Semitic people. Given the amount of 
 hostility between Semites, they could ironicly be described 
 as the most deeply anti-Semitic people in the world. It 
 doesn't speak very highly for Semitic culture. These aren't 
 the most enlightened people in the world.
 
 Anti-Semitism means a lot to the Jews. After the Romans
 kicked their butts 2,000 years ago and spread them to the 
 four winds, they found themselves in something of a quandry. 
 It was fairly easy to live an observant life according to 
 the 613 mitzoh/commandments when they had their own country. 
 But to do so in a foreign land was a totally different 
 and very awkward matter. 

 The problem wasn't so much that they believe themselves 
 to be God's Chosen People as it is that, especially for 
 the strictly observent, any sort of contact with Gentiles 
 was a form of defilement. Purity is and always has been 
 a major issue within the Hebrews elaborate system of 
 traditional laws. While not everyone was or is strictly 
 observent, these laws are a major source of their identity 
 as a people/nation. Being in exile made it both more of a 
 challenge and an imperative to preserve that identity. 
 They couldn't just 'blend in' with the locals through 
 inter-marriage or normal commerce as most exile communities 
 did. Their traditions required them to remain aloof and 
 seperate. And generated no end of hostility and hatred. 
 Add in the Christian Blood Guilt for Christ's death and
 they were everybody's favorite scapegoat.
 
 A lot of that is gone now even within modern Israel and
 most Hebrews are a normal part of their communities. It 
 drives the traditionalists crazy but its a redefinition 
 of Jewishness that evolved naturally and it works. The 
 isolation and aloofness that was the source of the old 
 anti-semitism no longer exists for the most part. But 
 the old hatred lingers on.  

 I don't understand anti-Semites/anti-Jews/whatever. To 
 my mind, bombing a synogogue or killing Jews in France 
 to punish Israel, is as stupid as bombing an Episcopal 
 church in Cleveland to punish England for its political 
 policies. The Queen IS the "Pope" of the Anglican Church 
 and the Episcopalians ARE America's Anglicans. But it 
 just doesn't make any sense no matter how you cut it. 
 At best, it's misguided; at worst, it's just plain 
 ignorant, gratuitous, mindless violence. 

 For Israelis, anti-semitism has very different meaning
 than it does for the Jews of the Diaspora. It is both
 a justification for their existence and an affirmation
 of their decision to dump it all and move to Israel. I
 often get the feeling from Israelis that if anti-semitism
 no longer existed, they'd have to reinvent it. Indeed,
 the Israeli spy agency Mossad, has been caught a number
 of times creating fake anti-semitic 'events' in Europe
 and elsewhere to 'grease the wheels'. Anti-semitism is
 Mossad's lifeblood - it justifies their existence. And 
 the Israeli government welcomes and milks it to the max 
 whenever it occurs. "The world is too dangerous for Jews 
 outside of Israel. We need a sanctuary and Israel is
 that sanctuary. Support it.", they say as they wave
 around their Adolph Hitler hand puppets. Like former
 Israeli Prime Minister Abba Eban once said, "There's
 no business like Shoah business."

 The recent 'anti-semitic' attacks in France look very
 suspicious. Euro Skinheads hate Palestinians every bit 
 as much as they do Jews. No way they'd go to bat for
 them. The pro-Israel rally that occurred immediately
 in the wake of the attacks seemed a bit too convenient.
 And there is an election on with France's fascist far-
 right party, anti-Israeli to the bone, showing strength. 
 One also has to ask, where are the rest of Europe's Yobs 
 and Skinheads: the Brits, Germans, etc.? Why only France?
 It just doesn't look right.

 Israel is no more Jewish than America is Christian. Israel 
 is a thoroughly secular, materialistic modern society. While
 most Israelis are nominally Jews, it is only in the most
 superficial sense. If they took a poll amongst Israelis as to 
 whether they would prefer to see a Third Temple built on the 
 Temple Mount or a big shopping complex, the shopping complex 
 would win hands down. It would not even be close. They don't 
 take religion any more seriously than your average American 
 does. They don't care about going to Heaven; they want to 
 have a good time right here, right now. They'll suck up to 
 God when they're on their death bed. Until then, let the 
 good times roll baby.

 Which isn't to say they don't have a substantial population
 of religious nuts. Israel is the homebase for the rigidly 
 observant, highly traditional Jews. They can let it ALL hang 
 out there. From their Talibanesque dream of ripping down the 
 ancient Muslim mosque on the Temple Mount, to their wacky 
 arrangement with a Mississippi cattle rancher to raise pure 
 red heifers, to their bizarre attempts to raise Bubble Boys 
 free of all earthly defilement, their insanity knows no bounds. 
 Pure Yiddisher Looney Tunes.

 Essentially a combo archeological theme park and hobby farm 
 run by rich American and European Jews, Israel is a country 
 that has never been capable of supporting itself. Take away 
 the outside props and they'd be indistinguishable from the 
 Palestinians they look down their noses at: dirty, poverty-
 ridden, uneducated peasants. And for good reason - Jews are 
 genetically identical to Palestinians. That's a documented
 scientific fact. Both are semitic people. Both are ancient 
 Caananite tribes that have been at one another's throats for 
 millenia. Since long before there was a Judaism or Islam. 
 Their squabble is just an ancient family feud. Lacking a 
 plot-line, this crap can go on literally forever without 
 resolution.

 American Jews understand this situation very well. Despite 
 having an open invitation to become Israelis, they prefer 
 to stay right here. Many take out Israeli citizenship but
 its indistinguisable from joining a club - they have no
 intention of residing in Israel and contribute little to 
 its well-being. Most people in Israel live miserable, 
 poverty-ridden lives forever in danger of being bombed by 
 any of a number of enemies. Living conditions are strictly 
 Third World. Wages suck. Only a religious nutcase would 
 be crazy enough to give up America to move to a dump like 
 Israel. It's fun to fly over occasionally to 'play Jew' by 
 working in a kabbutz or whatever, but they ain't about to 
 stay in that dirt-hole. No way pal! It's Back To The Good 
 'Ol U.S.A. once they got their tan. 

 The Palestinians are the other people Israel was created
 for. They've been living there for the past 2,000 years
 while the Jews have been wandering the world. They've come
 to think of it as 'home'. They resent the returnees just
 shoving them aside. And indeed, that is exactly what the
 Israelis have attempted to do. Showing complete contempt 
 for the UN agreement that created Israel, they've shoved 
 the Palestinians into concentration camps and denied them 
 the homeland they were entitled to. The Palestinians, 
 lacking rich American or European relatives to protect 
 them, haven't been able to do much about it.

 The anymosity between the Israelis and Palestinians runs
 deep and wide. For a while there Arafat vowed to run the
 Israelis into the sea. And the Israelis have ghettoized
 the Palestinians into undefended concentration camps that
 they often bomb and strafe. The basic problem is that the
 Israelis got a place of their own, but they won't allow 
 the Palestinians to have a place of their own. And not
 being the kind of people who passively resign themselves
 to bad news or Death Camps, the Palestians are insisting.
 They want their own homeland. Until they get it, there
 will be no peace. Period. They don't want promises. They
 don't want political bluffs. They want dirt. Their own 
 dirt. Now.

 And so we arrive at today. After decades of something of 
 a stable Mexican stand-off negotiated by a series of U.S. 
 Presidents, we now have the deadly combination of a War
 Criminal at the head of the Israeli government and an
 unelected retard at the head of the U.S. government. 

 When the Israelis and Palestinians once again seriously
 went head-to-head as they have so often in the past, 
 something odd happened in America: nothing. On cue, the 
 Arabs piped up with a concilatory effort to force the 
 Palestians into a compromise which normally would have 
 been taken up by our Prez to leverage the Israelis into 
 backing off and everything would have been back to tense 
 normal. 

 But Yeller missed his cue. He got caught snoozing. And 
 when he woke up he tried to bluff his way out of the 
 screw-up by encouraging the Israelis to get them 
 Ragheads have it. Like he knew what he was talking about.
 Now the entire region is destabilized, the Arabs are
 grumbling about an Oil Embargo and the stench of War is
 on the breezes. The Euros tried to jump in and do Yeller's
 job for him but Sharon blew them off. They'll be back.
 Yeller's threat to send "Whitey" Powell was roundly 
 ignored by everyone involved. Whitey's even dumber than
 his boss. That's our Yeller. The biggest screw-up artist 
 in the Free World.

 According to the polls, Americans overwhelmingly support
 Israel. Yeah sure. I can guarantee you 99% of the American
 public would be unable to point out Israel on a map. Asked
 where the Jewish Holy Land is, most Americans would likely
 pick Miami. Asked where the capital of Israel is, your
 average Boobus Americancus would likely choose New York City.
 Americans don't know Dick about Israel nor do they care in
 the least about its fate. On the other hand, they care
 deeply about who makes it into the NCAA Final Four.  Now 
 there's something we'd be willing to bleed over. The poll 
 figures are meaningless. We're too busy jerking ourselves 
 off to give a damn about anybody else.

.................................................................

                      'OL YELLER'S TWAT
              (aka The War Against Terrorism)

 The disaster known as the Yellowbelly Presidency marches on.
 After:
 - immediately turning an economic Boom into a recession,
   throwing many tens of thousands of Americans out of work;
 - becoming the first President in over 200 years to leave
   our borders so insecure an enemy was able to enter and
   kill tens of thousands of Americans;
 - blowing over $60 Billion Bucks and trashing the Constitution
   in a failed attempt to catch one man (Osama bin Laden);
 - turning our airports and other public places into armed
   camps for no good reason;
 - authorizing the indefinite incarceration of thousands
   of American citizens and legal immigrants without even 
   the most basic of legal rights for no other reason than
   their religious affiliation and ethnic background;
 - authorizing extra-Constitutional, extra-legal military
   tribunals/kangaroo-courts as a normal part of our 
   'justice' system;
 - establishing an embarassing and totally useless Prisoner of 
   War camp at a naval base in Cuba that has failed to produce 
   a single, solitary suspect of any worth;

 Yeller has now topped it all with his latest escapade:
 - totally botched the first big crisis he faced in the Middle
   East - completely asleep at the wheel and totally clueless
   once he did wake up - resulting in the destabilization of
   the entire region and the liklihood of an Arab oil embargo
   if not all-out warfare in the region.

 The fun just never stops when you got a retard at the wheel.
 Now if only we can survive long enough to laugh about it later.
.....................................................................

 The latest Office Game to get you through long meetings...

 Prepare a "bingo card" by dividing a 5-inch square into a 5x5
 grid of rows and columns (each 1-inch square). Into each of the
 resulting 25 squares, write one of the following words/phrases:
	 * synergy
	 * strategic fit
	 * core competencies
	 * best practice
	 * bottom line
	 * revisit
	 * take that off-line
	 * 24/7
	 * out of the loop
	 * benchmark
	 * value added
	 * proactive
	 * win-win
	 * think outside the box
	 * fast track
	 * result driven
	 * empower/empowerment
	 * knowledge base
	 * at the end of the day
	 * touch base
	 * mindset 
	 * client-focused
	 * ballpark
	 * game plan
	 * leverage
	 * customer-driven

  Whenever you hear one of the above words/phrases during the 
  meeting, cross it off your card.
  When you get 5 blocks horizonally, vertically or diagonally
  jump up and yell "BULLSHIT!" or whatever seems appropriate.

  Game duration varies wildly from 5-minutes to 1-hour.

.................................................................

                          DA MUTTS

 The famous South American university team Gonzaga flew charter 
 up to Seattle this week just to play against Da Mutts. Coached 
 by the soccer legend and notorious Brazilian Baby Daddy, Pele, 
 with his staff of Brazilian soccer-star/Cocaine-Head Roberto 
 and the legendary Argentinian Drug Addict Maradona, Gonzaga is 
 a small school with a tight budget. The players are required to 
 be multi-talented: baseball, basketball, football, the whole 
 shebang. Someday they hope soccer hits it big in America so 
 they can really cash in and put those coaches to work. But 
 they ain't holding their breath. 

 Upon hearing that there was a sizeable contingent of Hispanics 
 around here come apple-picking time, Gonzaga opened a satellite 
 campus in Washington State a few years ago and has been reasonably 
 sucessful at recruiting from the orchards of Yakima and Wenatchee. 
 Most of their atheletes are enrolled in their internationally 
 famous School of Drug Testing, considered to be the world's finest 
 facility for helping both professional and amateur atheltes evade 
 official drug testing programs.

 Da Mutts dropped both early-week home games against completely 
 unrated Gonzaga over at the Montlake Boulevard Dawg House. Then 
 headed east for a 3-game weekend series against the University of 
 Missouri where they again lost all their games. They seem to have 
 spiraled into a self-destructive early season nosedive which all 
 but disqualifies them from any post-season play. They haven't 
 even gotten to the tough part of the schedule yet and they're 
 already dead meat. Flush. Got plenty of talent; just ain't got 
 no balls.

.....................................................................
  
                    -  MONDO VATICANO -

 God's latest 'plague' to hit the hardened heart of Pharoh JP-2 
 struck this week: Israeli soldiers invading and shooting up the 
 Cathedral of the Nativity in Bethlehelm pursuing Palestinians. 
 An intentional desecration by the Jews that resulted in damage 
 to the church as well as injuries to priests and nuns at the 
 Cathedral. The Israelis murdered the bell-ringer. Shot him as he 
 was crossing Manger Square then watched him slowly bleed to death 
 over the next couple hours. They wouldn't allow any medics to 
 come to the man's aid. That is murder not military action. They 
 knew where the Palestinians were, had them surrounded and didn't
 need to pursue, they merely had to wait. But it was more fun to 
 rub the Catholics nose in it, so they went in and busted up the 
 Joint. JP-2 ineffectively wagged his finger at the Israelis much 
 to their delight. They couldn't care less what that fat Pollock 
 thinks. What's he gonna do? Send the Swiss Guard after them with 
 their spears?

			+	+	+

 The Vatican Spin Doctors were busy all week denying that our 
 very own Future-Super-Saint JP-2 was scheduled for knee surgery. 
 Of course he isn't. He's so sick he wouldn't survive day surgery 
 for liposuction at this point. The Grim Repeater is breathing 
 down the fat folds at the back of his neck. Won't be long now. 
 The boyz over at the Sacred Congregation of Papal Taxidermy have 
 been saving up all their old copies of Gazetta della Sport in 
 anxious anticipation of the Great Moment. They got to practice 
 on dearly departed Pope John XXIIIrd last year when they dug up 
 his rotting corpse and moved it 'Up Town" to St. Pete's to more 
 prestigious digs. Those reports about JP-2 climbing into his 
 casket to have a little 'chat' with him are just vicious rumors.
 Initial reports had him 'somewhat decomposed', but within a couple 
 months they had him practically good as new. "JOHN XXIIIrd
 INCORPUPTABLE!", screamed the headlines in the Saint Pedophilia 
 parish newsletter. 

 Actually, your average Sinful Dead Guy today, with the technology 
 human taxidermists have at their command, stays pretty fresh for 
 the first 100 years or so as long as the casket is well sealed. 
 They ought to go back to the old Italian way of doing things and
 use glass-front caskets so they can prop JP-2 up vertically against 
 a wall in St. Pete's with an appropriate message attached e.g. 
 "As I Am, So You Shall Be." Something warm and friendly like that. 
 Then people could have their pictures taken standing next to his 
 well-pickeled, plasticized incorruptable dead body. Those Curia 
 Wops could haul in some serious donations with a deal like that. 
 After they canonize him they could double the 'voluntary donation'. 
 Just remember where you got the idea Cardinal Dulles. I want a 
 couple points of the gross on that deal.

			+	+	+

 In the Philipines this Good Friday, 26 guys got crucified. It 
 was classic Catholic weirdness at its best. I really don't 
 understand why people do stuff like this. Dying comes easy - 
 just hang around long enough and it's sure to happen. Dying 
 in a degrading, dehumanizing and extremely painful way is 
 hardly noble. It certainly isn't what made Christ unique. 
 Even rising from the dead was not a 'First'. The Prophet 
 Elijah did that long before Christ's time. Many suspect Moshe 
 didn't actually ever die either but was ushered straight to 
 Heaven by the Seraphim from that mountain top he disappeared 
 into. Never did find his grave. 26 Philopino guys pretending
 to die is just plain ludicrous.

 Crucifixion was a common Roman method of execution. Christ 
 as a child growing up in Nazareth would no doubt have heard 
 many hair-raising stories about the town of Sepphoris just 
 to the north. The Zealot Judas the Nazarene, just a few years 
 before Christ's birth, kicked the Romans outta there. But they 
 returned in even greater numbers and totally leveled the Joint 
 slaughtering off most of the residents in the process. Many 
 refugees no doubt fled to nearby small towns like Nazareth to 
 escape the Romans. The road leading into Sepphoris afterwards 
 was literally lined with hundreds of living men nailed to 
 crosses and left to rot. Just the Romans way of saying, "Don't 
 do that again." Rendered ritually impure under Jewish 
 Law, it was never resettled. So one man getting crucified in 
 Jerusalem was hardly anything to write home about. And 26 
 Philipinos showing-off 2000 years later by pretending, is 
 even less to write home about. 

			+	+	+

 Britney Spears released her Heavenly Vision this week. She 
 figures God has a long white beard and wanders aimlessly 
 around Heaven a lot. And Heaven itself is like a big airport 
 terminal where you can be reunited with your dead relatives. 
 I'll bet all that mental effort gave her a headache for days 
 afterwards eh. I think the Curia Wops ought to make her an 
 honorary Cardinal. She sounds like she'd fit right in with 
 Pope Ratso I (aka Cardinal Ratzinger) and his gang of 
 ecclesiastical thugs. About the same level of theological
 sophistication. And she'd look sexier than hell in red. If 
 she ever finds out about that 'Get Out of Purgatory Free' 
 ring Cardinals wear, she'd convert in a second to get the 
 job - Free jewelry!

 Speaking of Pope Ratso I...
 He came out in favor of an African for the next Pope. The 
 Curia Wops would have a field day screwing somebody like 
 that around. Pope Ratso would remain the de-facto Pope well 
 into the future. What's needed is a Pope who belongs to a 
 community capable of protecting him from the Curia Wops - 
 say a Jesuit or a Dominican. Poor John Paul I was totally 
 isolated even from his family by the Curia Queens during 
 the few weeks he was Pope. It made it easier to manipulate 
 him. His loneliness and the sense of helplessness he felt 
 is likely what broke his heart and led to his early demise. 
 JP-2 had his Opus Dei buddies to buffer him from the worst 
 effects of the Curia. They can out-thug the Curia Queens 
 any day of the week.  An African would be far from home 
 and all alone - much as Bishop Milingo was before he got 
 married to that nice Moonie lady from Korea. The African 
 Church is weak and divided - the last remnant of Roma's 
 racist colonial mentality. He'd have few allies to turn to 
 for support. The Curia Queens would isloate and jerk him 
 around like there was no tomorrow.

			+	+	+

 Oi! Even a studiously nice guy like Andy Rooney is taking 
 cheap shots at the Vatican these days. When was the last 
 time he ever used the 'Catholic' word? Try never. But this 
 week, now that it's safe to do so, he took a swipe at Bernie 
 The Pimp and Eddie The Shadow for their Pedophile Protection 
 Programs. That Andy sure is a 'Cutting Edge' kinda guy eh. 
 Gutless but, hey, it pays well.

 This past week Cardinal George in Chicago turned out to be 
 a liar. Gloating only a couple weeks ago about how HE didn't 
 have any pervert priests to worry about (without mentioning 
 that it was thanks to his predecessor Cardinal Bernadin), he 
 exuberantly tongue-lashed Bernie The Pimp and Eddie The Shadow 
 for their negligence. Well, it turns out that Georgie Boy too 
 has been Pimping for Pedophiles just like his buddies Bernie 
 and Eddie. His pervert priests were all post-Bernadin. Must 
 have slipped in there while he was off blessing the suburban 
 BMW dealerships.

 An Irish Bishop resigned after admitting he too was pimping
 for pervert priests. That Pollock Bishop who was accused of 
 diddling seminarians also Bit The Big Kielbasa but still says
 he is innocent. JP-2 pulled a few strings back in Krakow to
 dump the bum anyways. Hearings? An opportunity to defend 
 yourself? Proof? Don't be foolish - this is the Vatican
 we're talking about. Fairness and common decency have nothing 
 to do with the matter. Besides, pervert priests are supposed 
 to only be an AMERICAN problem. Good Polish Bishops don't do 
 that sort of thing. He must have some relatives in Chicago 
 who corrupted him eh.

			+	+	+

 Fr. Natal Antonio Mella in Brazil came up with a neat new 
 money-maker: virginity certificates. You don't have one, 
 you ain't getting married. And he's the only guy in town 
 selling them. He takes bids from the local doctors to see 
 who gets to be his official agent (a few bucks extra right 
 there) then shakes down the Rubes for the main cash. There's 
 a guy with real Bishop potential - don't know squat about 
 religion but he's got a real nose for money.

--------------------------------------------------------
 The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
 ask. You want to make money off it, gimme some first.
 I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
 I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
 on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
 it into Lutefisk.
~--------------------------------------------------
 MAIL:    tofoggymoment@yahoo.com
 ARCHIVE: https://www.angelfire.com/nb/afm
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