__
                    __ _ / _|_ __ ___
           _____   / _` | |_| '_ ` _ \   _____
          |_____| | (_| |  _| | | | | | |_____|
                   \__,_|_| |_| |_| |_|
                   Another Foggy Moment

 These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
 of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
 Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
 cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
 another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.

    ------------------------------------------------
    WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
    If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
    punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
    the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
    Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
    89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
    -------------------------------------------------

                          - 142 -

 Paul Trummel's http://contracabal.org is still up and running.
 After rendering Mr. Trummel homeless, the Token Twinkie on the 
 King County Inferior Court, Judge Jimmy, has stuck Mr. Trummel 
 in the King County jail as a guest of the taxpayers until he 
 removes the webpage. A former babysitter for Family Court,
 Judge Jimmy ain't the brightest guy around but he gives good
 political Head. That's how he got the job. Mr. Trummel is in
 no hurry to lose his free rent and free grub - his webpage is
 still up and likely will remain so. Thanks to Judge Jimmy, he's 
 got nothing to lose now.
			*	*	*
 Last Tuesday night something really weird happened in the 
 U District - a skateboarder killed a man. He punched a hole
 in the man's skull with the wheel-side of his skateboard.
 The man was yelling at this kid's friend. He was yelling
 at him because, as he was driving down 45th and came to The
 Ave, three skateboards cut in front of him from the sidewalk.
 He had to hit the brakes to keep from running them over. If
 he had been less alert, he probably would have run them over
 with his car. They likely would have been seriously injured 
 and possibly died. 

 The close-call must have shaken this man up because he stopped, 
 got out of his car and yelled at one of the skateboarders. 
 People normally don't get out of their cars to yell at other 
 people here. They usually honk or roll down the window and yell 
 or just flip a Bird. I've had a couple people flash a handgun
 at me just to let me know they were 'strapped'. A car is
 security. People are very afraid of each other here. 

 While the guy was yelling at this kid, one of the other kids
 came around behind him and clubbed him in the head with his 
 skateboard. Then they all took off. By the time the Cops 
 showed up, they were long gone. The man suffered severe brain
 damage and was put on a respirator. He died a short while 
 later. He had a 6-year old son and many friends. He was very 
 active in the local Greek community and worked in real estate. 
 A normal guy who will be missed by a lot of people. Killed
 by a group of kids whose lives he'd just saved.

 The Cops haven't caught the kids. They aren't very good at 
 that part of their job. Unless the person they're looking for 
 turns themselves in, they often aren't caught. They didn't 
 give the impression they considered this a 'high priority' 
 case in any event and haven't had any extraordinary presence 
 in the neighborhood since the incident. Business as usual.
			*	*	*
 The babies have finally arrived - they filled up the salmon 
 pond at U Dub last Monday. They're just little dinky minnows 
 less than a couple inches long so it ain't real easy to spot 
 them at the moment. Won't take them long though to fatten up. 
 They're already jumping with glee at the thought. Oddly, even 
 at this stage, they are beginning to travel around the pond 
 in a clockwise direction. That has always been the case with 
 any of the salmon in that pond. I wonder why they do that?
			*	*	*
 It looks like a public beach around the Yoshino cherry trees 
 at U Dub lately on sunny days. Tons of people. Many of them 
 with cameras. A lot of them are in groups that seem to be 
 camera clubs or some sorts of photography classes. But most 
 of them are just lounging around taking in the free show, 
 flinging around frizbees or chatting with friends. The locals 
 finally got the Asians out-numbered. And the Old Dears put on 
 quite a show for their fans. The contrast between the gnarly, 
 twisted trees and their profusion of delicate, subtly pink 
 flowers is amazing. They're like lovely old ladies wearing 
 beautiful silken gowns. Between this week's rain and heavy
 winds there's a fairy-dusting of cherry blossoms all over
 the place. Past the spectacular stage, they're still quite
 lovely.
			*	*	*
 In University, Journalism is the White Guys equivalent of 
 Phys Ed. - brains are optional. Even a Luser like Al Gore 
 with zero credentials as a journalist got hired as a prof 
 in journalism at Columbia University. Name another faculty 
 where that's possible. It's rediculous that it's even 
 considered a seperate faculty. It should be part of English 
 Lit or Horticulture or whatever. The Pulitzer Prizes are 
 the Oscars for American "journalists". They used to be very 
 prestigeous but not any more. When the winners aren't outright 
 frauds, they're corporate media buck-suckers. Don't everybody
 yawn all at once - the Pulitzers were passed out this week.
 Who won? Better to ask: who cares?
			*	*	*
 About 70% of all 29-year old Italian men live with their 
 parents. They are affectionately known as 'mammoni' - Momma's 
 Boys. By tradition, their parents are expected to pay their 
 bills and provide them with spending money. Like the law-school 
 grad in Napoli who owns an expensive apartment and sits on 
 an investment portfolio worth over $250,000. He sublets the 
 apartment and lives at home. His father balked at providing 
 him with $660/mo spending money. The kid sued. Now it is 
 enshrined in Italian law that mom and pop have to see their 
 offspring through to 'economic autonomy'. In other words, 
 daddy lost. Never send your kid to law school. It's just 
 asking for trouble.

......................................................................

 IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The entire physical universe, 
 including this product, may without prior notice collapse back
 into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe
 subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that
 universe cannot be guaranteed.

 - from Physics Product Warnings
......................................................................
 
                      A YAMULKA FOR HITLER

 It is not anti-semitism to criticise the state of Israel. Judaism
 is a religion; Israel is a secular political state. The Prime
 Minister of Israel does not speak for Jews in any way, shape or 
 form. Just as the Prime-Minsters/Chancellors of Italy, Ireland 
 and Germany don't speak for their predominately Catholic peoples.
 It would piss off the Pope if they tried to horn in on his turf.
 A critic of Israel is no more anti-semitic than a critic of
 Ireland/Italy/Germany is anti-Catholic. 

 Israel's present difficulties with the Palestinians has far more
 to do with dirt than with religion. The Palestinians, who were
 living in present day Israel before it became Israel, want their
 own homeland just like the Jews got. It's been promised to them
 by a long string of liars, con-artists and other political scum.
 Put Uncle Sammy at the front of that list. 

 The Palestinians want theirs. They're tired of the lies and sick 
 of the Israeli's bigotry. The Israelis have American F-16s and 
 Helicopter Gun-Ships; the Palestinians have rifles and handguns.
 Nonetheless, they are more than holding their own and kicking 
 Israeli ass. Since it was the ordinary Israelis who elected a 
 known War Criminal to lead them, the Palestinans feel these 
 ordinary Israelis too should share the pain their soldiers 
 inflict. Heroic suicide bombers are walking among them carrying 
 the death so casually dispensed to their Palestinian brothers 
 and sisters by Israeli soldiers who bulldoze homes filled with 
 children and bomb the undefended concentration camps they've
 put the Palestinians in. 

 The Israelis want the Palestinians to go away. Since they were
 there before the Israelis were, they aren't inclined to do so.
 They refuse to abandon their land as the Israelis ancestors
 did 2,000 years ago. They intend to stay and fight for what
 is theirs. They have no place else to go. Their grandfathers
 and great-grandfathers are buried in what is now Israel. The
 ground is made of their ancestors bones. The Israelis ancestors
 are buried elsewhere.

 The Israelis have invoked a bizarre form of racism to excuse
 their need to get rid of the Palestinians. They imagine 
 themselves to be a different race from the Palestinians. It 
 is utterly and completely without basis. 

 The Spanish geneticist Antonio Arnaiz-Villena studies genetic 
 patterns within populations of all kinds. He recently did a 
 study of the Israelis and Palestinians that caused quite a stir. 
 He discovered that they are in fact, the very same people - 
 descendants of the ancient Caananites. There is no significant 
 genetic difference between them. Nor is there any sign of the 
 Patriarch Abraham's Assyrian genes in Jews. He is supposed to 
 have been the Father of Israel. 

 This so upset the Jewish subscribers of the journal "Humman 
 Immunology" in which the study was published, that they 
 demanded the editor write to each subscriber instructing them 
 to physically tear the study out of their copies of the journal. 
 She did this, but her instructions were ignored by the libraries 
 that subscribe. The study is commonly available in research 
 libraries. There has been no scientific challenge of the results 
 of the study.

 As insubstantial as the Israelis racial claim is, they pursue
 it with enormous venom. Their bigotry towards the Palestinians
 has been extremely violent. They have enslaved the Palestinians
 as surely as the Egyptian Pharaoh enslaved their ancestors. 
 They have segregated the Palestinians into fake 'autonomous' 
 territories and established concentration camps for them. 
 Places they routinely bomb and straf with modern fighter 
 aircraft. There isn't a shred of compassion or decency in 
 the Israelis attitude towards the Palestinians. In place of
 the acts of loving-kindness commanded by God, they have
 injected pure, red-hot hate and bigotry. Israel is an insult
 to everything Judaism used to stand for.

 Present day Israel is an invented country. It bears no real
 resemblance to the Israel of 2,000 years ago. It is not a
 religious state. It's not ruled by priests or rabbis nor are
 its laws based on Jewish law. It has no Temple. It is no more
 'religious' than Switzerland and, most importantly, has no 
 desire to be. 

 It's a sort of Golden Calf fashioned by the secular nationalist 
 political movement called Zionism. It has eyes but cannot see, 
 ears but cannot hear, a nose but cannot smell, a mouth but 
 cannot taste. It is a dead thing. A fantasy and a phantom that 
 has mesmerized the Jewish people. They worship and pay homage 
 to it more than they do God. They dance and sing around it much 
 as their ancestors did around that other Golden Calf long ago. 
 That one was made of gold; this one is made of dirt. And just 
 as then, their modern day priests - the rabbis - lead the 
 delirious celebrations and urge their people on to ever more 
 insane excesses. A modern day Jew will speak reasonably and 
 often eloquently with you about God. But there is no give and 
 take with Israel. It evokes their deepest and most heartfelt 
 passions. God they will discuss; Israel they will hate and 
 kill for. For Israel, they will prostitute every principle.

 The Diaspora is dying out. What's left of it is aging and
 shrinking continuously. It's evaporating. Poland, where 
 formerly there was a huge, thriving and ancient community, 
 now has very few Jews. Ditto for Germany, Spain, etc. The 
 horrors of the Shoah killed off millions of European Jews. 
 Few of the survivors stayed in Europe. They either joined 
 the wider migration to America or went to Israel. 

 American Jews have largely embraced our materialism and turned 
 away from their Jewish roots. They neither live as Jews or even 
 want to be known as Jews. They aren't ashamed of it; it just has
 no relevance or value to them. Whether your talking about Steve
 Ballmer at Microsoft or Paul Allen formerly of Microsoft, Steven
 Spielberg the film-maker or Michael Eisner from Disney - their
 Jewishness is little more than an accident of birth. Converts, 
 while not being denied, have rarely been actively recruited and 
 often face resentment if not hostility from natural-born Jews. 
 Most of the effort in that direction has been focused on returning
 lapsed Jews to the fold. It's a losing battle. The community 
 outside Israel grows ever smaller and older. Just as it has for 
 Christianity and most other religions besides Islam. They 
 certainly aren't the only religious group experiencing this 
 decline.
 
 America's formerly substantial Jewish community of radicals 
 and social activists has also largely evaporated. Many found 
 the Israeli Zionists racist and violent persecution of its 
 Palestinian minority immoral and disgusting. Failing to define 
 and form a Judaism truer to its spiritual roots, they've simply 
 drifted away, unwilling to identify themselves with this new 
 racist Israeli version of Judaism and no longer welcome within 
 the wider community because of their feelings about Israel.

 The trend is clear - Judaism is dying out as a religion. And
 into the breach is stepping Zionism with its secular, national 
 Judaism centered on the state of Israel. Their shining Golden 
 Calf. Israel has become a sort of defacto, self-appointed 
 "Vatican" of Judaism. The only true Jew is an Israeli Jew
 and any Jew who doesn't support Israel isn't really a Jew.
 Forget that old God stuff - the Zionists have a magical 
 fortress to offer. A place where all Jews can go to escape 
 a hostile world. A place where there is no anti-semitism 
 because everybody's a Jew. A place where they can thumb 
 their noses at the world and do things their own way. 
 
 But its not working. As much as they want to believe it is
 true it is just as obviously sheer delusion. The sort of
 dangerous delusion that is drawing the entire world into
 its vortex. They have chosen a fantasy that can never, ever
 be true and it's frustrating the hell out of them. At some
 point they will either have to face up to reality or die
 with their fantasy. At this point, they appear to be firmly
 set on a course to national suicide. 

 What began as a beautiful dream has become a horrible
 nightmare from which there is no waking up.
 
....................................................................... 

          APPENDIX TO DICTIONARY OF OFFICE TERMINOLOGY:
          --------------------------------------------

 BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group discussing why a 
                deadline was missed or a project failed, and 
                who was responsible.

 SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
                craps on everything and then leaves.

 ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
                success and advancement by kissing up to the
                boss rather than working hard.

 SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
                upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

 PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out 
                of an electronic device to get it to work again.
 
..........................................................................

                      'OL YELLER'S TWAT
              (aka The War Against Terrorism)

 It was definitely a Bad Hair week for Yellowbelly. His Israeli 
 buddies spit in his face and told him to go screw himself, his
 CIA coup in Venezuela succeeded then improbably reversed itself
 with Chavez back in power 2-days later and now that pushy
 little Broad in Georgia is saying he knew in advance about the
 9/11 attacks and did nothing to stop them. Add in that the 
 Chinese are hinting that if we go after Iraq, they'll go after
 Taiwan. To top it off, the News Nazis whacked 20-points off his
 phony popularity polls for being such a gutless schmuck. Need 
 I add - we're still getting our asses kicked in Afghanistan? 
 We are indeed. Elect a retard, pay the price eh. Oh! That's 
 right - he lost the election. 

 Sharon's Reign of Terror has been a failure. Despite his 
 genocidal campaign against the Palestinians, the suicide 
 bombers continue to hit with devistating effect. Yassar 
 Arafat has now become a hero/saint to the cause and each day 
 brings Israel deeper into the moral Pit. It is as if God 
 Himself is directing the their hands to their own suicide 
 and they are helpless to stay those hands. Twice before He 
 has obliterated Israel and demolished their disgusting 
 Temples by strengthening an enemy. Could it be this third 
 time He is requiring them to obliterate themselves? Does 
 God have a Three Strikes Rule? Looks like it.

 So THAT'S how General Powell worked his way up the ranks! 
 During his present Waste-o-Time 2002 Tour of the Holy Land, 
 "Whitey" changes his views daily to acommodate whoever he's 
 speaking with: to the Arabs, he's going to get tough on those 
 Israelis; to the Israelis, he's going to get tough on the 
 Arabs. He doesn't seem to actually have any thoughts, opinions 
 or values of his own. It's not a case of multiple-personalities, 
 rather a case of no personality. He assumes the personality of 
 whomever he's talking with. He's the kind of guy who has to 
 check his driver's licence every morning to remember who he is.

 The initative has now gone to the Euros and the Arabs. Powell
 will soon leave Jerusalem having accomplished nothing - worse,
 having lied to his Arab allies. They'll never trust him again.
 Coupled with Veep Cheney's recent diplomatic disaster along
 the same route, they've now completely estranged the very 
 people they needed as allies for Yeller's TWAT. Doh! 

 Things are about to happen. Things beyond America's influence. 
 We had our chance to influence events and blew it. Now we will
 become the victim of those same events.
 
                              !

 I think I finally got it figured out. I'm speaking of course of
 President Yellowbelly's odd affection for other people's blood.
 There can be no denying this peculiar culinary choice of his.
 As Governor of Texas he led the nation in executions. While many
 other Governors agonized over such irrelevancies as whether the
 guy was actually guilty or not, Yellowbelly swept all such 
 quibbles aside and hung 'em high. As President, he has presided
 over the first Federal hangings in decades. The only exception he
 made was that FBI traitor Hanssen who was personally responsible
 for the deaths of two of our Soviet agents. He was supposed get
 his neck stretched but Yellowbelly let him off. Most likely
 because the FBI made it clear to him that they'd hand Yeller his
 ass on a platter if he did otherwise. 

 Courage has never been a Bush family value. Mama Bush (aka Barb) 
 had all the boys balls cut off at birth. And the Old Man was born 
 without any. That's why he sounds like a Twinkie.  That's why he 
 married a woman who looks old enough to be his Grandmother. It 
 took some sort of genetic-engineering voodoo to produce the kids. 
 Family reunions must be a real Freak Show eh. The neighborhood 
 dogs go into hiding for the duration to avoid being sexually
 molested.

 Yeller's TWAT has been a boon to his blood-lust. You almost get 
 the impression that the biggest thing that pissed him off about 
 the WTC/DC attacks was the fact that all the blood got burnt up,
 leaving nothing for him. He even went and checked personally a
 couple times to see if maybe they overlooked a puddle or two
 somewheres. He made up for it though in Afghanistan. The simple 
 fact that virtually all the 9/11 attackers were Saudi Arabians
 and Afghanistan had nothing whatsoever to do with the WTC/DC 
 attacks was beside the point. It was the blood he wanted. Gallons 
 and gallons of blood. Baby blood is his favorite. So sweet and 
 succulent. Like fine wine. Yum! Yum! I'll bet General Franks, 
 the Pentagon hillbilly Trailer Trash in Cammie Jammies who can't 
 remember what century it is, had direct Presidental orders to ship 
 them dead little Muslim tykes pronto under Special Forces guard 
 to the White House without sneaking any for themselves. Hillbillies
 got other things they do with corpses you'd rather not hear about.

 You can see what I'm getting at can't you? Yellowbelly's a vampire.
 It's as obvious as the nose on your face.  The man has an irrational 
 passion for haemoglobin. He just can't get enough. I'll bet his
 wife even has to lock up her 'napkin box' in the bathroom to keep
 him from dipping in for the occasional snack.

 Most of his cabinet and closest advisors seem similarly inclined. 
 General Powell, the Honorary White Man of the group, seems to be
 the Front Man. How else to explain his extraordinary ability to
 turn tense stand-offs into raging wars? Attorney-General Ashcroft
 seems to be the only exception. He's a Christian you know and
 that sort of thing is frowned upon by the clergy. They, and they
 alone, do all the bleeding-dry in their facilities. "Johnny Boy" 
 just likes booze - and lots of it. If ever there was a man with 
 an alcoholic profile, he's it. Got "LUSH" tatooed in big glowing
 letters on his forehead.

 So there you have it. Not since the days of Lyndon Johnson have
 vampires enjoyed such a free hand in Washington, DC. The ghost
 of Melvin Laird rides again. And it certainly is the Dream job for 
 someone of that persuasion. It gives them access to millions and 
 millions of bodies just buldging with corpusules. They can fill
 up oil tankers loaded with the thick, viscous Man Juice and drink 
 themselves falling-down-drunk with the stuff every stink'n day of 
 the week. You can see why it's so hard to pry them outta there.
 It took years the last time and here they are back again already.

.................................................................

                          DA MUTTS
 
 Can Coach Knudson's Purple Puppies do the impossible? Can they 
 lose every single game left in the season? They seem to be 
 trying awfully hard to do just that. Losing to Arizona State is
 understandable enough - they're traditionally one of the top 
 college teams in America. Hell, they've had guys jump off that 
 team straight into the Major Leagues. Having their ass handed to 
 them by UC Irvine is also understandable - they're very highly 
 rated this year. But losing to unrated Gonzaga really sucks. 
 And losing to the Fighting Pig Farmers of Wazoo is totally 
 inexcusable. Those guys are the cuts from Da Mutts - the Lusers 
 who couldn't make the team. What in the hell is go'n on? Coach 
 Knudson on vacation or something?

 Oh well. UCLA's coming next weekend to the Montlake Boulevard
 Dawg House. Da Mutts suck but UCLA always puts on a good show.
 Show up to cheer the Bruins and boo the Dawgs.

 Nintendo-san's Tokyo Mariners are kicking off another season. So
 how will Loserville Lou, the putz they got for a manager, find 
 a way to Blow It All this season? Handed a steady succession of
 the finest players in MLB, he's never failed us before. Their
 record is still intact: never even made an appearance in a World 
 Series in the entire history of the franchise. Any place else in
 America that would be considered a Bad Thing. But not Seattle -
 Hooterville is America's capital of professional sports failures.
 Aside from the Sonics single championship back in the 70's, 
 neither the Mariners, SeaHawks or Sonics ever even got within 
 sniffing distance of the Bigtime since. Just as well - the locals
 wouldn't know a winner if one bit them in the ass.

.....................................................................

 "You know I love you."
                                 Tampa (FL) Bishop Bob Lynch
                               to his male Public Relations 
                                          Director
                               as they floated in the Bishop's
                                        backyard pool
.....................................................................
  
                    -  MONDO VATICANO -

 God continued to harden Future-Super-Saint JP-2's heart as He 
 rains plagues down upon his Church. Crippled by sickness and
 mentally delusional, JP-2 is unable to deal with these crisis
 but refuses to step aside. His Church slips ever deeper into
 the Abyss. The 20 years of his Papacy, destroyed in months.

 The plague of pedophiles seems to have shifted to a higher gear.
 Local prosecutors are now convening Grand Juries to investigate
 cover ups by Bernie the Pimp, Eddie the Shadow and various other
 American bishops. Both the National Conference of Bishops and
 the Vatican have completely botched the response to the pervert
 priest scandals with their indifference and dishonesty. The Old
 Pollock hauled the Cardinals on the carpet in Roma this week to
 read the Riot Act to them. Took Bernie the Pimp's resignation
 and likely that of the rest of them as well. He'll keep them in
 his top drawer for now - just in case. They were a little scared
 at first. But as they were walking out the door, he asked them
 if he should grow a beard so he looks more like Jesus. They knew
 it would be okay after that.

 Pervert priests are also cropping up increasingly outside of
 America. The Vatican has insisted all along that this is mainly
 an American Problem. It was severe enough in England and the
 Church's response so inadequate that the government stepped in
 with a commission to oversee the Church's compliance with the
 law regarding sexual predators. Now Ireland is also about to
 convene one for the same reasons. Germany may have to do 
 likewise. In Poland a bishop was recently defrocked for his
 involvement in sexual abuse. Obviously this isn't just an
 American problem - it's universal. It very likely always has
 been. 

 The plague of bankrupcy crept out of the shadows recently. The
 pervert priest scandal in America is predicted to eventually
 become a multi-billion dollar burden as settlements continue 
 to mount up. Over a billion has already quietly been spent on
 settlements and it's thought what has emerged so far is only
 the tip of the iceberg. Insurance has either run out or is far
 from adequate to cover the settlements. That fine - the Butts
 In the Pews will quietly pay for it all without whinning. Or
 maybe they won't. Over 30% of Boston Catholics recently said
 they were withholding their donations until there's some sort
 of accountability. Oh oh. Seems like only yesterday Bernie the
 Pimp's Spin Doctors said the scandals had no effect on donations.
 Lying is a sin. Assets will have to be liquidated. That means
 the churches in the poorest areas will be closed down. Like
 Cardinal George is presently doing. Got no BMW dealerships to
 bless on the South Side. Screw them.

 Forbes or one of the big financial magazines ran an interview
 with the Bohunk who runs the Vatican's finances. He, of course,
 said everything was honky-dory. But it had a decidedly false
 ring to it. He, of course, wasn't willing to talk numbers. He
 just wants us to take his word for it. Yeah sure. Like Enron.

 The plague of Israeli Gestapo troops continues. The ancient 
 Basilica of the Nativity in Bethlehelm remains under seige.
 A monk was murdered by an Israeli soldier this week. The
 soldier jackbooted in the monk's door and opened fire on him.
 He was, of course, completely unarmed. The Vatican's attempt
 at a ceasefire ended abruptly with a curt refusal from the
 Israelis. All of the churches, temples and mosques in 
 Jerusalem and elsewhere in Israel are now in peril. Unless
 someone steps in, the Israelis will eventually Taliban them
 leaving nothing but the synagogues.

 			+	+	+

 Father Bill Hausen at St. James in Pittsburg ain't the kind of
 guy to dilly-dally around. On Easter Sunday, before one of the
 biggest crowds he gets in a year, he let 'em have it with both
 barrels. Advocating the ordination of women and married men as
 priests and encouraging his parishoners to get pissed off about
 the way the Church's hierarchy has botched the pervert priest
 scandals, he certainly set their blood to boiling. About half
 of them wanted to string him up on the spot and the other half
 wanted to canonize him as a saint. Rather than encourage such
 serious debate amongst the Butts In the Pews, his Bishop has
 pulled him outta there and reassigned him. Lying his ass off,
 his Bishop went to great pains to assure one and all that it
 wasn't a punishment. Nope. Just a lynching.

			+	+	+

 Father Don Kimball of Santa Rosa (CA) just can't seem to get 
 a break. During his current trial for raping a 14-year old girl 
 behind the altar of his church and molesting a 13-year old girl 
 in his rectory, some pushy news photographer got in his face. 
 So Fr. Don did the Christian thing - he plowed the bastard right
 in the kisser. Now he's up on assault charges to boot. Come on 
 for Pete's sakes! The man was diddling GIRLS instead of boys. 
 Don't that count for something? It's not like he's a pervert. 
 He just likes his women a little on the young side and in kinky
 locales.

			+	+	+

 Father Steve Girard of St. Clements in Baltimore may be soon
 joining the National Conference of Bishops new Prison Ministry. 
 He filed a false car-jacking report to cover his butt after 
 having a fling with a male prostitute. It all kind of came
 apart under police questioning. He said all this pervert priest
 stuff in the Media had him under stress and he just had to have
 a piece of tail to calm his frazzled nerves. After the Cops 
 charged him with filing a false report, he took off on the 
 Lam and nobody's sure where he is now. Probably looking for 
 another piece of tail to ease the stress from this situation. 
 If you run into him, tell him his ArchBishop says he ain't a 
 priest no more. He got canned in-absencia. But the Cops are 
 still interested.
 
			+	+	+

 Remember your First Communion? I sure do. I hated all the fuss
 and that stupid suit I had to wear. Embarassed the heck out of
 me. And the pressure not to screw it up was unbelievable. But 
 I sure liked all the Dough that came rolling in from all those 
 cards the aunts and uncles passed me. I hadn't realized up until 
 then that you actually get paid for being a Catholic. Even at
 that young an age I liked the concept. Nowadays First Communions 
 have become such a big thing they often rival weddings. Why not? 
 If you can afford the diocesean annulments and the alimony you 
 can get married a zillion times but you'll only have ONE First 
 Communion. They can afford to pump it up a little. Just don't
 forget to fatten up those cards eh. Putting a kid through
 Monkey-Suit Hell requires compensation.

			+	+	+

 Anglican Fr. Andrew Furlong in Ireland has everyone just a tad
 confused. He says Jesus was neither a savior or divine. That 
 doesn't leave a heck of a lot left does it? Never the less, he
 insists on keeping his church position (and paycheck) as pastor. 
 Pastor of what? The Jesus Fan Club? His bishop suspended him
 to give him a little time to figure things out. 

--------------------------------------------------------
 The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
 ask. You want to make money off it, gimme some first.
 I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
 I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
 on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
 it into Lutefisk.
~--------------------------------------------------
 MAIL:    tofoggymoment@yahoo.com
 ARCHIVE: https://www.angelfire.com/nb/afm
--------------------------------------------------