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Another Foggy Moment
These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.
------------------------------------------------
WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-------------------------------------------------
- 151 -
DAY: 110
Mr. Trummel's humble webpages remain up:
contracabal.net [Washington State version]
contracabal.org [International version]
That can only mean that KingCo Inferior Court's Judge Jimmy
"The Token Twinkie" Doerty, hasn't yet succeeded in killing
Paul off. Even amongst the other bigots, Yahoos and low-life
on the Inferior Court bench, Jimmy kind of stands out - most
of the baliffs and janitors are more qualified to be a judge
than he is. He's a little short on background and experience.
Today (6/17) is the Big Day. It's when Judge Jimmy skips
his usual trip to the steam baths to briefly take another
gander at Paul's case. The sassy, ancient and sickly Mr.
Trummel with a history of serious heart and prostrate
problems, has now also acquired TB thanks to KingCo Jail.
That filthy dump breeds the stuff. Needless to say, KingCo
doesn't hold itself to the same health standards it does
you and I. And to top it all off, Judge Jimmy has now
put him in Solitary Confinement - the most physically and
emotionally severe form of imprisonment allowed under the
law. It's normally reserved for the most violent and
recalcitrant prisoners, not retired old U Dub Journalism
profs. Judge Jimmy has wandered off into the judicial
Twilight Zone. The punishment bears little resemblance
to the crime.
Joe Harkins of the National Writers Union and United Auto
Workers is picking up the slack that our News Nazis have
left. He has established an informational webpage dedicated
to freeing Paul. It's at:
freepaultrummel.com
Judge Jimmy's email address is:
james.doerty@metrokc.gov
By most accounts, he's both computer and Net illiterate.
He don't know how to work e-mail. So don't be expecting
a reply let alone an acknowledgement. But just so he'll
have to lie to say he got no complaints, give him Joe
Welch's great line from the McCarthy Hearings: "Have you
no decency, sir?" It's worth a try.
*
"Don't worry about what anybody else is going to do. The
best way to predict the future is to invent it."
- Alan Kay -
On Friday morning on the way to work I noticed all the flunkies
out setting up chairs and such at many places around the U Dub
campus. It was the start of Commencement Weekend. It's that
wacky time of year when everybody dresses up in black evening
gowns and wears those funny party hats. They brought in the
Wicked Witch of the East, our former SecState Granny Albright,
to do the honors - minus her 500,000 dead Iraqi babies of
course. Didn't want them stinking up the place. She has the
distinction of being possbily the only Babe in DC we're fairly
certain President Bubba Jay didn't hit on. Aside from Hillary
of course.
These are the little Dumplings who were bright enough to pay
out Big Bucks for the privilege of spending the past four
years working their butts off 7 days a week/18 hours a day
without pay. Not real bright eh. And now they finally get
their reward for all that accumulated debt and hard work -
a BIG piece of paper with their name on it. It must be a test
of some sort to seperate the feebleminded from their money eh.
Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! And people said Enron was a hussle. Pshaw!
Now it's off to the Cube Farms where they'll work 12-hours
a day and get paid for 8 while throwing in Saturday and/or
Sunday for free. Things are looking Up! A big improvement
over their university gig. The lucky ones will while away
the rest of their lives in obscurity counting off the days
until retirement while performing meaningless tasks for
18-year old Dot.commie multi-millionaire bosses who got
kicked out of high school for their el33t H8kRz XpL0itz
with the school computers. Oh well. They'll be fully-vested
in only 10-years if the company lasts that long. If worse
comes to worse, there's always Social Security and a
dog-food diet at the Publix Hotel.
The less fortunate will be fighting for a spot out front
of the Safeway supermarket hussling spare change. Returning
each evening to their cardboard box after grabbing a bite
to eat out of the nearby dumpsters. Dodging illegal aliens
in security guard uniforms carrying big night-sticks. Surely
the student loan collectors will never find them HERE. Only
the lucky few who know a foreign language will be able to
escape to a comfy job as assistant-manager at a 7-11.
Meanwhile, they're crying for plumbers. They'll pay all their
moving expenses, wine them, dine them and put them up in a
ritzy hotel if they'll only come out here to work. No BS.
*
The chicken trick worked and, despite our notorious NorthWest
reputation for clouds, we got to see the solar eclipse last
week. Not that anybody gave much of a damn. While I prepared
the Sin Offering, a friend set his scope up on his porch and
projected the eclipse on a nearby wall for passers-by. They
all roundly ignored it. Though I did have many inquiries about
the chicken. I had to keep yelling, "Back off, pal! That's for
the Sun God!"
We're surrounded by miracles and profound mysteries. We're
also utterly oblivious to most of it. Pass me another beer
and the remote will 'ya. I hear there's "Barney Miller"
reruns on channel 156.
*
The salmon pool at U Dub has been in Release Mode for about
a month now. They bring down the water to half-level, yank
the blocking-board and partly lift the protective netting
to allow the birds in. They pump in just enough water to
maintain the proper level. Most of the little boogers seemed
to take off right away on their 5 year journey, but a
sizeable number, judging from how many of them keep popping
up, lingered on.
A couple blue herons work the pond these days. Not together
though. If one of them is fishing and another comes by there's
a great ruckus raised. Herons make a real disgusting noise
when they're pissed off and look like some sort of flying
dinosaur. It's like a flying-lizard fight-scene out of
"Jurassic Park" when they go at each other. Even a dope
like me who doesn't speak their lingo has little difficulty
recognizing their displeasure with one another's company.
There always seems to be a couple duck pairs under there.
Finally after weeks of careful and patient reconnaissance,
some of the ravens have decided it's safe to go under the
net. But only with great caution. First sign of 'trouble'
(somebody walking by, peculiar cloud formations overhead,
etc.) they're outta there like a shot.
.....................................................................
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright -
architect
.....................................................................
THE BON-BON FERRIE
Every once in a while working around different places, I run
into this rather peculiar, skinny little runt of a guy. If they
had a picture next to the 'homosexual' entry in the dictionary,
it would be of him. He is the very embodiment of the phrase
'Flaming Queer'. His clothes are all weird, wild colors of the
rainbow and, aside from his various orifice rings, he's always
got lots of erotic little jewelry thingees hang'n off of him.
The sort of stuff that makes pasty-faced, smiling secretaries
blush and titter when they get a close look. One of his high-top
tennis shoes is red and the other one is green. His hair changes
color at least once a month. And hyper!? Oi! He talks like a
human machine-gun and zips around like a demon. All day long
this crazy old man giggles and squeaks and prances about like
Pee Wee Herman on steroids. He wickedly and enthusiastically
flaunts his Gayness in the world's face with reckless, care-
free and exhuberant abandon. He don't know the meaning of the
word 'discretion'. He just lets it ALL hang out.
I love this guy. It's always a very happy occasion when we run
into one another. I told him if I was Queer I'd be all over his
ass like maple syrup on a pancake. Being the rather broadminded
and tolerant guy he is, he has never held it against me that
I'm Straight. Though he is puzzled as to why anyone would
deliberately expose themselves to ridicule and embarassment
with such a perverse sexual orientation. What can I do but
shrug. Somebody has to feed the children of divorce lawyers.
Needless to say, his appearance is about as far as most people
get with him. The first rule in America is: You are whatever
you appear to be. We're big on uniforms and only rarely venture
beyond the surface of things. So it's not surprising that most
people almost automatically groan when they see this guy. If he
weren't the best at what he does, they'd throw him outta there
in the first five minutes. But in fact he IS the best at what
he does and he's saved many a well-suited ass in his time. So
they live with it. They content themselves with behind-the-back
snickering and dirty little jokes.
The most striking characteristic of this man, aside from looks,
is his unconditional happiness. Rarely have I ever run into
anyone who so blatantly and defiantly enjoys life. His sense
of wonder at the universe is uncharacteristically high for an
adult. He is a specialist at fishing pearls out of shit. And
he wants to share some of his joy with others. So aside from
the many skills he brings to his job, he also always brings
brownies, fudge, candies and little chocolate Easter bunnies
which he freely passes out to everyone like a demented Bon-Bon
Ferrie. Much of it he hand-makes himself. See's ain't got
nothing to match his chocolate covered cheeries. Guaranteed.
What makes this so unusual is, he once told me he's lost 50
friends in the past few years to AIDS. Like everyone else,
I've heard of how devistating AIDS has been but this really
brought the notion home with a bang. It's like being in a
war-time Army. He's been through the agony of nursing his
long-time partner right from diagnosis to the grave. And he
stuck with him all the way. No Newt Gingrich deathbed
"Sayonara Sucker" routine from him. He says he's perpetually
been supporting other friends and acquaintances who are 'in
the queue'. Most of my friendships have invovlved beer,
parties and Good Times. Many of his involve hospitals,
medical therapies and holding the hands of dying people.
Life's a little different when you're Queer.
I always think of this when I hear people say that relationships
between Gays are shallow and superficial - a capricious thing
based on a physical whim. In an age when Straight couples don't
take that 'in sickness and in health' thing as anything more
than a meaningless formality, guys like the Bon-Bon Ferrie take
it literally. I think of this when people call Queers perverts
and sub-normals. There ain't nothing perverted or abnormal
about genuine love and affection between two adults. And the
Bon-Bon Ferrie could clearly teach such people a few lessons
in that department.
His fearless 'defiance' has always intrigued me. We have a rep
for banging down any nailheads that stick up. While people are
a little bit more careful these days about candidly expressing
their 'ideas' about Colored Folks, they aren't at all shy about
sharing with others their feelings about Gays. Gays are still
fair game for the bigot half-wit crowd. A crowd Colored Folks
have a sizeable share in. He's aware of the fact that he has
this effect on people but he insists he isn't 'cooning it up'
for the effect. He simply feels that since he has no control
over their feelings, why bother trying to control them? Nothing
he can do about it. In effect he throws the ball back into
their court and says, "You deal with it. I can't." and goes
about his business of being nice to people and acting a little
wacky. Since he is a hired-gun he has little incentive to fit
into the prevailing Corporate Mind Think anyways. And even
less inclination to try. Works for me.
He says he grew up on a farm in Oklahoma. Not exactly the Queer
Cultural Mecca of America. But not only did his family have no
particular problem with his orientation, the neighbors didn't
give him a rough time either. He has many fond memories and
friends back there and hints that it's where he wants to retire
to when the time comes. This kind of surprised me. When I think
of Okies, I think of Bible-thumping, ass-kicking Rednecks, not
smooshy, tolerant live-and-let-live types. Another great theory
out the window. Merle Haggard hears about this there could be
trouble.
When I was a kid, Queers were totally invisible. It was like
they didn't exist. I learned recently that a favorite Great
Aunt was a lesbian. A sweet and generous lady who was a very
devote Catholic, she passed away alone and spurned by her
family. To this day they can hardly mention her name without
much snickering and winking. Like it's any of their goddam
business. I don't think any of my uncles were Gay but a few
of them were priests so...who knows?
When I was in the seminary studying to be a priest, two guys
got booted out for 'being too friendly' with one another. We
understood what it meant even if we didn't understand the
mechanics behind the concept. None of us had seen anything
obvious in their behavior. The subject was so taboo that when,
in all innocence, I asked a priest in the confessional what
'sodomy' was, he about freaked and wanted to know why I was
asking. I thought it had something to do with salt. 'Sodium'...
sodomy...salt...I sensed a pattern eh. But I was mystified
as to how you could get sinful with salt.
As Gays became more visible in the 60's and we could see
that they didn't have horns and had many of the same
aspirations as the rest of us, the attitude began to slowly
change. Nonetheless, my Old Man's worst nightmare right to
his dying day was a black and white Gay couple. To him it
was the very definition of perversion and perversity -
worse than bank robbers, goat-shaggers and Commies all
rolled together.
The first Gay guy I ever worked with knowing he was Gay,
was one of my bosses back in the early 70's. He was kind
of coordinating a bunch of us spread all over the country.
We occasionally had to come back to the Home Office for
meetings and the such. We knew he was Gay but the Big Boyz
upstairs didn't. Or didn't want to know. When he made the
friendly suggestion that I might want to save a few bucks
and stay at his place instead of a hotel, it put me in a
weird position. Here I was this urbane, debonaire and
sophisticated Modern Man and all I could think of was:
what does he REALLY mean? He's a nice guy and all but he's
a Queer. Is he going to hit on me? To cut a long story short,
I was too much of a wimp and too broke to refuse. I stayed,
sweating bullets the whole time half expecting to get raped
in my sleep. But nothing every happened. I saved a bundle
and another Booger Man bit the dust. We remained friends
for many years. Oh yeah... a year or so after the above
incident one of the Big Boyz upstairs decided to enhance
his career by 'outing' this Gay guy. It was okay to fire
Queers for being Queer back then.
I've worked with many others in the years since. Some were
real assholes and others were Holy Fools like the Bon-Bon
Ferrie but most were just pretty ordinary and boring. It
doesn't make a difference. Being Gay neither qualifies a
person for sainthood nor demonic status. And the affection
Gays and Lesbians feel for one another, regardless of how
differently they express it, is indistinguishable from that
of Straights. It's the way God made them. If it's good
enough for Him, it's good enough for me. I don't care what
it says in the Bible.
.....................................................................
"Very handsome boys, much cleaner shaven and prettier than the
American special forces."
- Afghan Commander Malim Jan -
(two wives, several boyfriends, many goats)
re: British Royal Marines
.....................................................................
'OL YELLER'S TWAT
(aka The War Against Terrorism)
As the raving bigots of Israel try to hide behind fences while
attempting to obliterate the Palestinians with their American
fighter-aircraft and helicopter-gunships, Uncle Sammy stands
boldly at their side. Sammy's never met a bigot he didn't like.
From the Redneck Crackers of Georgia to the Afrikaans of South
Africa, he's always been there for them. Even these fake white-
men in Israel, these Dune Coons with their uppity European
manners and their American relatives, are better than nothing.
They kill little brown people. That's good enough for him.
Yeller's merrie band of lunatics is threatening to spin out of
control. They ALL think they're President now. Why the hell not.
They got as good a claim to the White House as our Executive
coon-ass hillbilly does. It's not like anybody elected him either.
One of the first victims of the new Homeland Security Office is
the Lawrence Livermore National Lab at UC Berkeley. Just out of
the blue and with no warning whatsoever, the brainless Boob who
runs HSO transferred LLNL's entire budget off to other places
while leaving its staff in place - in effect, employed but
with nothing to do. Oopsie! LLNL is Uncle Sammy's premier lab
for everything from nuke warhead design to biotech research. It
is, and has been for over 50-years, an irreplaceable national
defense asset. I think I know where Osama has been hiding.
He's a budget analyst with Homeland Security. Who would have
ever thought of looking there?
!
Yeller's TWAT seems to be going great. So far it hasn't cost us
a cent. As long as it's free, Americans will cut him no end of
slack. The second it starts to cost us money - watch out! LBJ
understood this principle very well. He tried to Do the Vietnam
War without any tax increases. It didn't work of course and
resulted in economic mayhem later down the road but he was long
gone by then so what did he care? It was somebody else's problem.
President Yellowbelly is still in Mall Mode, happily racking up
vast amounts of stuff with his credit card pretty much oblivious
to how he plans to pay for all this. And both the Democrats and
Republicans in Congress are whooping it up right along with him
uttering hardly a discouraging word. After blowing $60 Billion
Bucks on an unsuccessful attempt to capture Osama and Mullah
Omar, he's now going for the Bigtime: a whole new, bloated,
buck-sucking Federal department duplicating and triplicating
stuff everyone else is already doing. Another Federal Turkey
Farm just stuffed to the rafters with retarded, clock-watching,
donut-munching, do-nothing Paycheck Patriots who really couldn't
give a flying fig about your safety or security. Just keep
them paychecks roll'n baby.
What makes Homeland especially unique amongst bureaucatic
boondoggles is the obvious fact that we have no significant
domestic security problem. The WTC attacks, for all their
dramatic horror, failed to slow us down for more than a
couple hours. The crappy design and sloppy workmanship of
the towers killed 100 people to every one the terrorists
killed. The FAA's shut-down of air services did far more
economic damage than the terrorists did. Nine months
after 9/11 even with the unprecedented powers to trample
all over the civil and legal rights of everyone in sight,
our FBI/CIA/NSA/BATF and military intelligence screwups
have come up with only 1 guy under indictment. A Space
Cadet who doesn't even seem know what planet he's on.
That's it. No secret cells; no suitcase nukes; no apartments
stuffed with TNT; no nut'n. Camp X in Cuba has been an even
bigger waste of time. They haven't even come up with any
leads. War? What war? In your dreams pal.
Without the benefit of a proper investigation of the events
of 9/11, we nonetheless know beyond a shadow of a doubt that
the reason the attacks succeeded was because the CIA failed
to infiltrate the attackers group, the INS allowed 20 guys
with terrorist connections into the country, the FBI failed
to see a pending attack that was 'street news' in NYC weeks
before it occurred, the FAA let armed attackers board the
flights without any annoying checks and our military sat
on its fat ass and did nothing when we did come under attack.
Worse, our Presidental retard was too stupid to catch the
obvious clues that came in from all over the world of what
was coming. Our guardians and protectors failed us. That's
why the attacks succeeded. We don't need a new Department of
Homeland Security. We need a new Department of Bureaucratic
Ass-Kicking.
When the bill for this coneroo comes due it's gonna be a real
Whopper. They'll gut every entitlement program they can get
their hands on to start out. Raping the poor and powerless
first, seems to be Congress' standard way of getting 'in the
mood' for this stuff. But there ain't a helluva lot left to
rape and it ain't gonna be enough. They'll have to start
hitting the taxes - heavily. You think it's bad now? Uncle
Sammy gonna OWN your ass after this.
The L.A. Times recently said that one out of every three people
working in L.A. are working off-the-books for cash. It's hard
to gauge such a thing and really know its extent, but a guess
of 1/3rd of the work-force indicates pretty massive, widespread
extent. These aren't druggies and hookers. These are ordinary
working people - the full spectrum from white-collar paper-
shufflers to blue-collar carpenters. The tax and regulatory
burden has become excessive. So excessive that both employers
and employees are looking for ways to opt out. This is costing
both state and Federal governments Mucho Bucks in lost taxes.
Our underground economy is not only growing by leaps and
bounds, it's rapidly attaining a new respectiblility and
clout. Is it right? Is it wrong? It just IS. Deal with it.
And why not? Uncle Sammy has pretty much thrown his Social
Contract with us in the trash. Millions of Americans are
without health insurance, minimum wage is a joke, a university
education has become a privilege reserved for the rich, safety
and health overseers are chronically underfunded/understaffed,
our courts blatantly sell justice to the highest bidder, and
now our very Constitution and Bill of Rights have been dumped.
Our elections have been turned into corporate raffles conducted
by our News Nazis, rendering taxpayers irrelevant as far as
the decision-making loop is concerned.
What exactly is the incentive for staying In The System? It
isn't interested in our welfare. It don't care about us. It
has no intention of protecting us or our interests. Our many
governments bleed us for taxes while totaly ignoring us and
giving us ever less and less in return. Too stupid to even
maintain a proper infrastructure. Screw them.
The bill for Yeller's TWAT should accelerate this process quite
a lot. This would be a good time to begin exploring your options.
....................................................................
"I believe part of what propels science is the thirst for wonder.
It's a very powerful emotion. All children feel it. In a first
grade classroom everybody feels it; in a twelfth grade classroom
almost nobody feels it, or at least acknowledges it. Something
happens between first and twelfth grade, and its not just puberty.
Not only do the schools and the Media not teach much skepticism,
there is also little encouragement for this stirring sense of
wonder."
- Carl Sagan -
"The Burden of Skepticism"
Sceptical Inquirer, Fall '87
....................................................................
- MONDO VATICANO -
Next Saturday we remember St. John Fisher of England. He was
one of those guys even a King doesn't have enough money to
buy. Considered a co-founder of England's Cambridge University,
he was as known for his humanistic scholarship and love of books
as he was for his piety. Born into a merchant family in Yorkshire,
his dad sent him off to Trinity College Cambridge to be educated.
John must have been a pretty smart cookie as by the age of 22 he
had not only been given a special dispensation to be ordained as
a priest a bit earlier than usual, they shortly afterwards awarded
him his Doctorate in Divinity then made him both Master and
Vice-Chancellor of the college! He was practically running the
place.
King Henry VII's mother, Lady Margaret Beaufort, was so impressed
by him that she insisted he become her chaplain. It was like
getting hired into the Royal Firm. Together, they worked up a
plan to make Cambridge one of the best schools in the world.
At the time, no Hebrew or Greek was taught anywhere. So he
hired his buddy, the legendary humanist Erasmus, as a professor
of Greek and Divinity. The library at Cambridge was a bit of a
joke. It only had 300 books in it. John loved books a great deal
and Lady Beaufort lent him her credit card so he could go on a
spending spree to fatten it up a bit. Many scholarships were
established to attract the Brightest & Best. At the age of only
35, Lady Beaufort then made him Chancellor of Cambridge to ensure
things got done right.
None of this had escaped Roma's notice. Shortly after being made
Chancellor of Cambridge, they named him a bishop. Pretty much
able to pick any diocese he wanted, he chose Rochester. It was
the smallest and poorest in England at the time. The Bishop's
Palace was such a dilapidated, run-down dump Erasmus refused
to step in the place. But John loved it and often referred to
it as his 'old wife'. When later offered the richer dioceses
of Lincoln and Ely, he turned them down saying he "wouldn't
leave his poor old wife for the richest widow in all England".
He had a sense of humor too eh.
Still Chancellor at Cambridge, he lived very simply at his old,
run-down home in Rochester consciencously taking care of his
episcopal duties there. Aside from the usual stuff of preciding
over confirmations, he personally made the rounds of the local
hospitals visiting the sick and personally tended to the many
homeless in that area. Erasmus said, "There is not in the nation
a more learned man nor a holier bishop." King Henry VIIth even
declared, "No other prince or kingdom had so distinguished
a prelate." Everybody was impressed by him.
Didn't impress John. He was too busy writing books on the
side. He even decided at the age of 48 to learn Greek. That
went so well, that at the age 51 he started up on Hebrew.
He soon had collected one of the finest libraries in all of
Europe.
Then came Henry the VIIIth. John tried to get along with him.
While he publically denounced Henry's affection for war and
strongly fought the anti-clerical laws he was forcing through
the House of Commons, he went out of his way to try to invent
a way for England's bishops to endorse Henry as head of the
Church in England without compromising their loyalty to Roma.
Though he didn't sign it himself. He was trying to give Henry
a chance to grow up and act his age.
The final straw came when Henry divorced Queen Catherine of
Aragon. John was Queen Catherine's personal chaplain. He
fought against the divorce with all the resources at his
command. This pissed off Henry greatly. He sent agents out
to try to kill off John. There were attempts to poison him
and even an asassination attempt. Henry demanded that John
sign the Oath of Supremacy acknowledging Henry as head of
Church of England. John refused. So Henry had the old man
stripped of his diocese and ordered him arrested.
Realizing his mortality was now upon him, John set about
settling his affairs and giving away the little he had. The
books went to Cambridge where they'd be safe. Thousands of
people flocked to Rochester to say their goodbyes to an old
friend. Riding bareheaded through the city on his way to
London to turn himself in, he blessed the crowds lining the
road. In London he was again ordered to sign the Supremacy
Oath and again refused. They threw him in the Hoosegow. A
secret courier from Henry VIII visited him a couple weeks
later in his cell pleading with him to relent. He refused.
He didn't realize it at the time but he'd just got a raise
and promotion to Cardinal by Pope Paul III. While it did
John no good whatsoever, it pissed off Henry VIII even more.
A short while later John was hauled into Westminster Hall
and sentenced to death, with the execution to take place
on June 17, 1535.
So weak and emaciated from his imprisonment that he had to
be carried out in a chair, he thanked his guards for their
courtesies, blessed the crowd, then bent his head for the
executioner who chopped it off. His head was displayed on
London Bridge for 2 weeks then thrown into the Thames. The
rest of him was thrown in a grave hole in Barking and
covered over - no marker, no shroud, no nut'n.
He was canonized as a saint in 1935 by that old bookworm and
former head of the Vatican Library, the historical scholar
and inveterate mountain-climber - Pope Pius XI.
+ +
They're finally off and running at the Bishops Conference in
Texas. Every pagan and heathen in the Press Corps is down
there to cover it. No children's choirs. That would be asking
for trouble. Don't even mention altarboys.
With 75% of American Catholics highly unimpressed by the
Bishops performance so far and this year's pervert priest
body-count running at 218 priests and 4 bishops, humility
seems like a good strategy. After remaining mum throughout
this entire mess, the bishop's powerless figurehead leader
finally got off his fat butt and apologized. He just wanted
to make sure he had all the network cameras pointing at him
first. Sure it's kinda impersonal but it's The Spin that
counts. It might have actually meant something if he had
given some previous indication that he gave a damn.
The big question on the Bishops minds is whether they should
obey the law and turn in any pervert priests they encounter
engaging in felony sexual assault of children or whether they
should give the poor mug a break and hide him. What the heck.
We've all raped a kid or two from time to time. It's perfectly
natural. A man's got his urges eh and there aren't always nuns
around. You go with what you've got. Little Timmy will get over
it in time. It's not like it's a Big Deal or something. And
he'll be able to tell his grandkids how he got Cornholed by
a real priest once upon a time. Won't they be impressed!
The law, as we're all aware, takes a somewhat more prudish
view of such shenanigans. Officer Friendly will bust your
butt if he ever catches you diddling kiddies. He ain't got
no 'first one is free' rule. Because of virulent anti-Catholic
bias in America, our court-system is absolutely stuffed with
Protestant judges whose greatest dream is to convict a Papist
priest. There just isn't anyone around except Supreme Court
Justice "Fat Tony" Scalia to put the Fix in for Fadder and
cut him a little slack. It takes a long time before you get
to talk to the Fat Man.
Instead of a Bishop emerging to give sage and wise counsel to
Catholics in this extraordiary time, we get this...
After setting a new modern record for pimping for his pervert
priests, breaking the one recently established by Boston Cardinal
Law, Kentucky Bishop Williams knew when to quit. And he did exactly
that after it was revealed that he also was dipping into the
altarboys just like his perverts. That explains that.
Joining him in the Vatican Pogey Line will be New York Auxillary
Bishop John McCarthy. He quit after admitting to having a number
of affairs with women. WOMEN!? Oh oh. If all the Bishops and
priests who have been getting a little Nookey on the side start
quitting there ain't gonna be anybody left. Bishop McCarthy is
setting a very dangerous precedent here.
Auxillary Bishop Quinn in Cleveland came up with a bright idea
a few years ago to help out dioceses who were facing legal
problems with their pervert priests. He suggested they send all
their embarassing and incriminating paperwork to the Papal
Nuncio in Washington, D.C. As Vatican 'ambassador' to the United
States, he would have diplomatic immunity from subpoenas and
Grand Juries. The Vatican is an independant nation.
+ +
Sure he was a vicious and unrepentent thug, but he had enough
money to buy Brooklyn Bishop Tom Daily's ass. And so former
Mafia Boss John Gotti, "The Dapper Don", will be buried in a
consecrated Catholic cemetery after dying this past week. So
much for the sanctity of official Church burial grounds eh.
What a freak'n joke. A garbage bag down a septic tank would
have been a bit more appropriate.
+ +
One of the Curia Queens, Cardinal Maradiaga, described as a
"leading South American Cardinal" (snicker, snicker) and "a
possible successor to JP-2" (right behind the Vatican janitor)
lashed out against the American Media, particularily Ted Turner,
for employing Nazi and Stalinist tactics against Mother Church
in its current vile and pernicious anti-Catholic Jihad. Yeah.
Why can't they be nice like the Vatican and keep it down to
lying, stonewalling, strong-arming witnesses, blaming victims,
hiding felons and threatening whistle-blowers? Show a little
class eh.
+ +
The Benedictine Monastery of Conception Abbey in Conception,
Missouri was the scene of a double murder. Two monks were shot
to death and two others were wounded. The man who did this, a
Catholic, was distraught over an ancient divorce annulment the
Church gave his former wife decades ago. It had nothing whatsoever
to do with Conception Abbey. They just happened to be convenient
when the guy went over the edge. The monks will be attending the
funerals of both the victims and the killer (he shot himself
afterwards). Sometimes there's just nothing left to do but
grieve. This appears to be another one of those Prozac Flip-Outs.
----------------------------------------------------
The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
ask. You want to make money off it, gimme some first.
I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
it into Lutefisk.
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