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Another Foggy Moment
These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.
THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG
------------------------------------------------
WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-------------------------------------------------
- 179 -
Stormy weather. The sorts of high-winds storms that ripped through
here on Christmas day and through the following week are the sort
I usually associate with fall. And our fall was more like an
extended Indian Summer with plenty of sunshine. It's like our
climate has temporarily shifted up a month or two.
The ravens really seemed to get a kick out of flying in the high
winds. But with those big floppy wings they've got it's kind of
chancy. They're very fragile. The pigeons seemed to do better.
With their articulated wings they can quickly 'tuck in' and drop
their profile to a minimum if a cross-wind catches them off guard.
In both cases, they seemed to 'go with the flow' when in doubt.
While working downtown recently and taking a smoke break outside
the Washington Mutual Building, I spotted their Peregrine hawk
in flight. Soaring around with those big wings and its tail just
a-twitching, it was pretty distinctive. I had forgotten all about
the nest they have up near the top of the tower. They used to have
a NetCam on it once upon a time and/or one in the lobby. Didn't
notice a lobby cam as I passed through.
CHRISTMAS BUS...
While strolling around downtown a couple days before Christmas, I
hopped on a bus near Pike Place Market to jump to Pioneer Square.
I was taking advantage of the Ride Free Zone. Metro's busses suck
but the suckage is less painful when it's free. Besides, it was
raining and I once again lost my most current umbrella.
I'm sitting there behind a lovely Ethopian lady wearing traditional
dress who has an infant on her lap. The Blessed Virgin Mary must
have looked something like her. Certainly much more like her than
the usual Germanic beauty portrayed in most church statues and
pictures. Miriam was, afterall, a young Jewish woman and, being
from the backwoods of the Jezreel Valley, a Country Girl to boot.
On trips into Jerusalem, she must have worn her finest just as
this Ethiopian lady was doing. Being Christmas-time, I'm in the
mood to indulge myself with such thoughts and fantasies.
Up front sits a little midget with a big, fat retard across the
aisle from him. They're obviously buddies. The midget is sitting
there loudly making snide remarks to his buddy about the infant
on the Ethiopian lady's lap. "The little black bastard's go'n be
a Crack dealer when he grows up", says the midget for everyone's
edification. "Gonna have himself a whole pile of Ho's too, I'll
bet". The retard laughs a goofy retard laugh and tries to be
supportive. "Duh. Yeah. He's gonna be a BUTT-crack pimp. Har
Har Har". I'm paraphrasing. I don't speak retard very well.
The midget likes the 'butt-crack' comment and adds that to his
repetoire of witticisms as he continues to share his thoughts on
the lady's infant. Everyone around him is studiously looking
out the window pretending they don't hear nut'n. The bus driver,
only a few seats away, is one of Metro's usual White Trash part
timers. I ask him if he hears what's going on. "Sure", he says,
"The boys are just have'n a little harmless fun. Ain't hurt'n
anybody. Nuth'n to get excited about." You really gotta wonder
what dumpster they hire these Lusers out of.
For some reason, the dwarf doesn't address his comments directly
to the lady. He's just broadcasting. And the lady doesn't give any
indication she either understood or was interested in the little
jerk's gibberish. She's looking after her child and seemed either
oblivious to the midget or to be ignoring him. I couldn't tell
for sure which.
Really put me in the Christmas mood eh.
EUPHEMISMS...
Our News Nazis really had their work cut out for them this week.
Thanks to the White House and Department of Defense, their
Spinmeisters had to find a way of putting a Happy Face on bribery
and torture. Professionals that they are, they reached down deep
and proved once again that not all the Good Germans are in Germany.
Attempts by the White House to bribe senior Iraqi officials was spun
as 'financial inducements' or the such. Last time I looked, monetary
inducements of that sort were considered not only immoral but also
illegal in most nations. Any American official, senior or not, caught
accepting one from a foreign government would immediately be pegged
for both bribery and treason. A small point hardly worth mentioning.
At any rate, people who turn for a Buck are notoriously unreliable
and not to be trusted anyways. Bribery is a poor substitute for real
intelligence work down in the trenches face-to-face with the enemy.
But it seems to be all our FBI and CIA chickenshits are capable of
these days. Which is why people can walk in here with boxcutters and
knock down whole buildings. Our intelligence agents are lazy cowards.
Reports of CIA torture at our Cuban prisoner-of-war camp were spun
simply as 'rough tactics'. For the innocents amongst us who haven't
yet guessed: there are things happening in that camp that we will
never be allowed to know about. The reason is simple: we'd be charged
under international law with crimes against humanity and most of the
Joint Chiefs of Staff would be declared War Criminals. Now wouldn't
that be embarassing! We've been here before. During the Korean War
the CIA engaged in human experimentation, to use their words - 'to
termination' - on North Korean prisoners-of-war. The documented
evidence was amongst the first things 'liberated' when the Freedom
of Information Act went into effect. To imagine we did any less during
the Vietnam non-War would be quaint but rather stupid. Dr. Mengele
and Adolph Eichman would perfectly at home in the CIA, FBI or Homeland
Security. It's their kinda crowd.
The P-I made the amazing discovery this week that Seattle is a hot
bed of subversive anti-war sentiment. Apparently the ONLY city in
America to enjoy that distinction. You believe that? Me neither. I
think there's a helluva lot more anti-war sentiment than News Nazi
operations like the P-I have been letting on. It's just getting a
little hard for them to sustain the fantasy while maintaining some
semblance of credibility. There are limits even to fantasies.
STICKY WICKET...
If you were to page through the Seattle City Ordinances of 1923 you
would find a number of references that would seem odd nowadays. But
few could match "...the playing of cricket in Seattle parks without
the express permission of the City Council is prohibited."
Cricket?! Seattle?! Apparently from as far back as the 1850's cricket -
not baseball or football or basketball - was one of Seattle favorite
sports. Back then Our Town was just crawling with Limmeys who brought
the game over with them. They had plenty of company to the north in
Victoria and Vancouver, as well as Portland and Olympia to the south,
against whom to play. Each city sported dedicated cricket grounds at
which admiring fans could comfortably puzzle over just what in the
hell was going on out there. If you've never witnessed a cricket match,
you wouldn't understand the joke. All the grounds are gone now except
the lovely pitch at Brockton Oval in Vancouver's (BC) Stanley Park
where the chaps still don their white flannels to bat a few balls
around on a summer's day. I would be shocked if Victoria didn't have
a similar facility. But I haven't seen it so I'm not sure if they do.
So it remained up to WW-I and the 1920's. Many of the players returned
to Albion to volunteer for the War effort. Few survived to return to
Seattle afterwards. With nothing but the Old Boys to hoist the petard,
cricket all but died out.
Which isn't to say it did die out. There still is such a thing as the
Seattle Cricket Club believe it or not. The Groz, The Gasman and New
York Vinnie never mention it simply because their ain't no money in it.
The chaps play out of Ft. Dent Park near the Renton/Tukwila borderline.
There is also a Lake Washington Cricket Club that plays out of East Lake
High School. Microsoft even has a team! The season generally runs from
April through the summer. The names on the membership list tell the tale
of how cricket has survived in Seattle. Virtually all are from the Indian
sub-continent. Don't tell the FBI or they're liable to raid the place
mistaking it for an Al Qaida terrorist training camp. I'm sure they'll
get a rash of TIPs tips from truck-drivers/mail-carriers and other Junior
Gestapo types as it is. Oh...that's right...TIPs doesn't exist anymore
(wink/wink/nod/nod). Mums the word. Just don't forget to bring your
passport with you to the games. Might come in handy.
I only mentioned it because they had their annual meeting yesterday in
Bellvue. The Boyz are get'n pumped for the 2003 season eh. Gonna kick
some serious Booty this time around. Right after they finish the
regulation mid-game tea break.
Seattle Cricket Club
..........................................................................
Gee Toto. I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
- Dorthy -
The Wizard of Oz
...........................................................................
WELCOME TO OUR NIGHTMARE
Now would be a good time to inquire if your company has any branch
offices in Beijing. The general consensus from Corporate Suits to
pols to hip-hop Gangstas is that 2003 is going to be one bitch of a
nasty year. China at least has the distinction of possessing the only
economy in the world that isn't going in the toilet. While everyone
else is hoping against hope to scratch out 1 or 2% growth, they're
looking at 8% growth - minimum. Their industrial output is on schedule
to exceed ours within a few years and their economy will equal Europe's
within the next 10 years. The ChiComs are shelling the Free World
with devistating deflation and do'n "OK Joe".
We've pretty much screwed ourselves. We seem to have an aversion to
success. Just when we're riding high in the saddle and swim'n in
Dough, we let the screwballs short-circuit our electoral process and
stick a Monkey Boy retard in the White House. In only two short years
he's taken us from elected leader to election-loser leader, Boom times
to Recession, democracy to fascism, peace to war, barely-constrained
governmental bloat to run-away governmental bloat, Common Law to secret
arrests/courts/prisons. Our multi-TrillionBuck military - the Most
Destructive Military Juggernaut in Human History - much to our chagrin,
turns out to be a Paper Tiger incapable of even protecting our national
boundries from a small gang of terrorists wielding box-cutters. The
stupid bastards can't even find either Osama bin Laden, Mullah Umar
let alone the Mad Anthrax Mailer. Monkey Boy & Company have made one
righteously huge frikin mess out of everything. But they ain't through
yet. No siree. Not by a long shot pardner. The coo-de-grass is yet
to come.
His only significant business experience being that unfortunate affair
at the late-but-great Harken Oil, it's understandable that he's been
utterly flumoxed by our rapidly deteriorating economy. Anybody who's
stupid enough to run an oil company into bankrupcy really shouldn't be
allowed to carry money around in his wallet. Stocks have tumbled, taking
with them many a 401(k) retirement dream and leaving many a pensioner
with no way to pay his bills at The Home. Unemployment has steady
increased leaving many a Boom-Timer to pay off their mortgage, their
big credit-card debt and that ballooning tab they've been running up
at the IRS, with a minimum-wage paycheck. It's like a fat lady trying
to squeeze into a petite size dress - rrriiiiippppp!
The survivors, with steadily declining incomes and high-paying jobs
now as scarse as Mariner World Series wins, are still scrambling around
trying to find some place reasonably safe for all that Dough they used
to dump into stocks. T-Bonds were popular for a while but now they seem
to have settled on 2nd homes. That strategy will end abruptly when home
prices begin to drop this year and that investment too goes down the
toilet. They tell themselves property never depreciates. Tell it to
the Japs. Their property has lost half its value over the past 10
years. By the time our dirt becomes worthless, our dollar ought to be
worth about as much as Monopoly Money thanks to the Fed's prolific
printing presses. The mad dash for gold has already begun.
In a classic display of Armageedon Fever, fueled by heavy-debt, mortgage
ReFis and Home Equity loans, those who can are Pig'n out on useless
junk: the biggest, phatest SUV/Wide-Screen-TV/Yacht they can find.
The RepoMan is going to have his hands full. He's already up to his
belly-button in used garbage and his backlog is growing fast. We may
very well become the first nation in human history to go from a
Manufacturing Economy to a Service Economy to a Repo Economy.
Thanks to our Congressional Whores, corporations were allowed to defer
payments into their pension funds. Now struggling to survive in this
newly hostile economic environment and owing Trillions 'o Bucks to
those pension plans, they are faced with a choice: you or them. Three
guesses who's gonna lose on that deal. Don't bother emailing your Congress
Critter. Most of them have pulled the plug on their mailboxes. They
couldn't care less what you have to say.
On the up-side, since we're gonna have all this 'leisure time' bum'n
for change out front of the Safeway, President Yellowbelly has arranged
some entertainment: "Monkey Boy Conquers the World". No need to pay
admission - you already have. It's called 'taxes'. With the able
assistance of the Fight'n Fags of the Department of Defense, our
draft-dodging Commander in Chief is alienating us from every friend
we've ever had as he does his imitation of Adolph Hitler's "Third
Reich" schtick. Though the truth is that he more closely resembles
the Wop's Il Duce than Hitler: a pompous, dimwitted loudmouth with
the brain of a chicken.
The Jews get to take a pass this time. They've suffered enough for one
century. It's the Muslims turn to play national Scape Goat. Like Good
Germans in times of yor, we happily look the other way while thousands
of them are rounded up in secret arrests and indefinitely interned in
secret concentration camps. Thousands more from the Mother/Fatherland
have been turned into human guinea pigs for experimental purposes at our
Cuban POW camp. We don't see nut'n, we don't hear nut'n and we don't
know nut'n. Our News Nazis put the 'ignorance' in our bliss.
The DoD's Fight'n Fags have bravely invaded Afghanistan, a nation
without an air force or tank divison, possessing only a small-arms
army. The world hasn't seen nothing quite like since the Italians
invaded Ethiopia. It had nothing at all to do with the 9/11 attacks
which were carried out by Saudi Arabians for the most part. The only
Afghani involved was a victim who died in the collapse of the WTC.
But why quibble about details. Ragheads died and it was a great show
on CNN. That's what counts. So what if many of our pilots are too
stupid to read a map and ended up bombing the Canuks and thousands
of civilians. Stuff happens. It's war dammit.
Now we're going after Iraq. Another nation that had nothing to do
with 9/11 but is a bit closer to Saudi Arabia anyways. Incidently,
they have a great, huge, whopping mess 'o oil too. But that's not
important. Forget I even mentioned it. By now everybody hates our
guts and thinks we're the biggest assholes in the world. Nobody
wants to fight alongside us. Aside from slaughtering off thousands
of men, women and children who have never so much as threatened us
let alone attacked us, by demolishing their country (except the oil),
we're about to precipitate a major political realignment of that
region. Nobody anywhere has the vaguest idea what's going to happen.
The only sure bet is on: one great frik'n mess. All this is way, way
over Monkey Boy's head. He smells oil and a terrific opportunity to
kill lots and lots of Evil Mooslems. He gets a headache thinking
both thoughts at the same time.
Last time we bottomed-out, back in the late-70's to early 80's -
the Reagan Recession Years - home break-ins, muggings and the such
went through the roof. Ron destroyed the traditional American
family forcing Ma outta the home and into the workplace while
leaving little Billy and Sissie-Sue to fend for themselves as
Latch-Key Kidz. We still had something like cops back then and
being armed wasn't common. Nowadays are cops are useful only for
filling out reports for insurance companies and EVERYBODY is
strapped. It's going to be close to open Class Warfare. With local
governments that will be essentially bankrupt, social disintegration
is a distinct possibility.
Will Monkey Boy succeed in utterly destroying America before he
comes up for re-election in 2004? The odds are improving every
day. This sure looks like Early Times for the demise of America.
And you, you lucky bastard, get a front row seat at the historical
moment of the Millenia.
............................................................................
From the cradle to the coffin,
underwear comes first.
- Bertolt Brecht -
.............................................................................
'OL YELLER'S TWAT
(aka The War Against Terrorism)
Chalk up another big win for President Yellowbelly. German Chancellor
Gerhardt Schroeder, fading fast in the polls and heading for certain
defeat, the Gerdie Man started bad-mouthing TWAT and instantly shot up
in the polls to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Add South Korea to the list. You remember where that is don't you?
Just under Yeller's Terrorist du Jour - North Korea. Roh Moo-hyun was
also headed for certain defeat at the hands of Yeller's local Bum Boy -
Lee Hoi Chang. All Mr. Rho had to do was bad-mouth Yeller and his
dumbass TWAT and he was a surprise winner. Don't sound like they're
too concerned about the north's nuclear threat eh. In fact it sounds
like they're more concerned about America's Yeller Peril.
Senator Murray's rather milktoast comments about our Middle Eastern
policies set off a predictable enough chorus of howls from our Neo-
Nazi nattering nabobs of fascism both in the Media and elsewhere.
There was no balancing chorus from the other side simply because
there no longer are any voices from the other side in our Media and
those outside the Media who don't tout the Party Line (Republican/
Neo-Fascist Party of course) no longer have a voice in our society.
Our Media is totally one-dimensional - a stacked deck.
The North Koreans called Yellowbelly's bluff this past week. Yanked
the plug on their nuke-monitors. To talk about North Korea is to
talk about China. No way in hell China is gonna allow us, the U.N.,
N.A.T.O. or anyone else to invade and occupy their borders. Unh unh.
That would be an act of war on our part. We wouldn't have to worry
about waging simultaneous wars. A confrontation with China would be
short but sweet. Whatever they lack in the way of sophistication they
more than make up for with nukes and a wide variety of ways to deliver
them. Needless to say - we got a lot more to lose than they do.
But don't hold your breath waiting for Yellowbelly to call for U.S.
corporations to pull their investments out of China. They'd laugh in
his face. No way in hell they're gonna walk away from that money pile
and leave it all to the Euros and Japs.
...........................................................................
He that gives good advice,
builds with one hand;
He that gives good counsel and example,
builds with both;
He that gives good admonition and bad example,
builds with one hand and pulls down with the other.
- Sir Francis Bacon -
1561-1626
.............................................................................
- MONDO VATICANO -
With the dogs of war baying for blood this Christmas on the birthday
of the Prince of Peace, where was Future-Super-Saint JP-2? Z-z-z-z-z
Lost in Space. Not a peep out of him about it. Like his predecessor
Pius XII, he seems to have no objection to mass murder as long as it's
politically expedient to remain silent.
Despite desperate attempts to sling it otherwise, the Pervert Priest
Scandal has really started to hurt. Bishop McCormack of New Hampshire
came up $250,000 short on his charitable appeal this year as the laity
finds better places to put its charitable Buck. And there has been a
significant overall drop in attendance at Mass nationwide. Send all
thank you cards to National Conference of Catholic Bishops in
Washington, D.C. This is their baby.
Paddy Power, the big Irish bookmaker, is now taking bets on who will
succeed the Pollock when he finally croaks. Fr. Dougal McGuire of Craggy
Island, a local favorite, is going at 1,000:1 odds. There are 15 other
names for which the odds are better. Cardinal Arinze is the fav so far
at odds of 4:1 with Cardinal Biffi to place at 6:1 and Cardinal
Tettamanzi to show at 16:1. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for an
American cardinal to show up. They'll be loading up at the gate any
day now. Come on lads. Let's see the color of your Bobs.
Papal Bets @ Paddy Power
+
Cardinal "Fast Eddie" Egan of New York City had an exciting Midnight
Mass this Christmas. The Son of God himself showed up in the guise of
a homeless guy and repeatedly interrupted proceedings to announce his
presence. The ushers and cops wrestled him to the ground and hauled
him outside but he broke free and ran back into the cathedral. Other
than the Son of God stuff he was pretty lucid - he said he needed a
shower and something to eat. Scared the hell out of most of the people
attending Mass though, aside from acting weird, he presented no threat.
Like many poor people he made the honest mistake of thinking he might
get some help at a Catholic church. He was last seen being hauled off
to Bellevue Psychiatric in handcuffs. Eddie got a chuckle out of it
anyways. He finds poor/crazy people highly amusing.
+
Mother Mary Xavier Marteau, secretary-general of the Ursaline nuns in
Rome in 1943, received Israel's highest honor bestowed on non-Jews:
"Righteous Among the Nations". During the Nazi occupation of Roma,
she opened the doors of her convent to Jews fleeing Nazi persecution.
She also used all her connections to hide many others outside of her
convent and otherwise subvert the Germans persecution of Jews.
Her neighbor on the other side of Roma, Pope Pius XII, didn't open the
doors of the Vatican to fleeing Jews. He remained silent as the Nazis
hauled them away literally from under his window. The Vatican has been
trying to cash-in on Mother Marteau's honor to help reconstruct Pius
XII's rather filthy and cowardly reputation. Many of the Nazi units
involved in the occupation had Catholic Chaplains who bore the rank
of officers in the Reich. None of the priests involved were ever
excommunicated let alone admonished by the Vatican for their particpation
in the Nazi regime. And, of course, Pope Pius XII never did condemn the
Nazis when it would have made a difference. He might have gotten hurt.
Mother Mary was far more courageous.
+
California Governor Gray Davis was told he would not be allowed to
pass out presents to children at St. Patrick's Children's Home in
Sacramento this Christmas as Governors have done for the past 20
years. Monsignor Eddie Kavanaugh of St. Pats says he doesn't like
Governor Davis' politics and wouldn't let him in the door. Governor
Davis invited the kids to come on over to the nearby State Capital
for their gifts and hinted the Monsignor outta get a life.
Fr. Terry Brennan of St. John the Baptist in northern New Mexico
endorsed a political canidate from his pulpit at Sunday Mass back
in November. Yet another example of a priest who doesn't seem to
know the difference between church and state. There were no episcopal
sanctions against either priest for their actions.
Fr. Eddie and Fr. Terry perfectly demonstrate why it's a real bad
idea to donate to the diocese instead of to specific Catholic
charities. There are too many priests and bishops out there who are
abusing their positions of trust to further personal political aggenda,
quite possibly in exchange for money or political favors. It strikes
me as perfectly plausible that a canidate could purchase an endorsement
from the pulpit in exchange for voting in favor of Faith-Based programs
that would put money in the diocese's bank account. It's not like we
can check the Church's books to find out. They're secret.
Often as in Fr. Eddie's case, this is done at the expense of innocent
bystanders. What kind of a jerk would deny kids Christmas presents?
Fr. Eddie's an ecclesiastical asshole. His little showboating routine
cost him nothing but cost the kids their Christmas.
+
Stupid Bishop Trick of the Week:
This week's winner is Bishop Tom Dupre of the Springfield, MA diocese.
He very prominently displayed in the diocesean newspaper what appeared
to be a $13,000 donation to cover the cost of mailing the newspaper to
everyone. What he failed to mention was that the money didn't come out
of his pocket. It came out of diocesean funds. Which is to say, it came
out of the pockets of his lay parishoners, without bothering to ask
them if that's what they wanted done with the money. Hope he gave
himself a big pat on his own back to show his appreciation eh. What
planet do these creeps come from anyways?
----------------------------------------------------
The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
ask. You want to make money off it, gimme some first.
I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
it into Lutefisk.
~--------------------------------------------------
MAIL: tofoggymoment@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE: https://www.angelfire.com/nb/afm
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