__ _ / _|_ __ ___
                 _____   / _` | |_| '_ ` _ \   _____
                |_____| | (_| |  _| | | | | | |_____|
                         \__,_|_| |_| |_| |_|
                         Another Foggy Moment

      These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
      of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
      Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
      cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
      another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.
 
                     THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG

         ------------------------------------------------
         WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
         If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
         punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
         the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
         Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
         89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
         -------------------------------------------------

                             - 182 -

                   Is there for honest poverty,
                   that hangs his head, and all that?
                   The coward slave, we pass him by -
                   We dare be poor for all that!
                   For all that, and all that,
                   our toils obscure, and all that.
                   The rank is but the guinea's stamp,
                   The man's the good for all that.

 This coming Saturday, Scots the world over will gather to lift many 
 toasts, expostulate endlessly, sing horribly off-key, then nibble 
 daintily at their humble Haggis as they celebrate the 243rd birthday 
 of Rant'n Robbie Burns - the world's greatest poet. A valiant fighter 
 for democratic rights in a nation ruled by Royal Twits; a staunch 
 promoter of women's rights at a time when the notion was unheard 
 of; a man who captured the Scottish soul as none after him were ever
 able to do. He was a lover both of aged whiskeys and the gentle turn 
 of young feminine curves. Robbie broke all the rules and was made to 
 pay dearly for his independant spirt by the Kirks and Lords of his 
 time. But, while they are long forgotten he remains a dear memory. 
 He kindly left behind a cheeky, impertenant, whimsical, slightly 
 bawdy but often inspirational and God Fearing river of poesy as his
 legacy. We start each new year with a refrain from it: "May auld 
 acquaintance be forgot..."

 Hopefully the Pipers will have to work that weekend and the
 fiddlers will have the floor.

 TEACHERS KICK ASS...

 That's more like it. Our teachers seem to have finally wised up to
 our phony Education Governor, the dwarf in the Governor's Mansion.
 The little bastard flogged his educational sympathies and shamelessly
 robbed their union's treasury to get himself re-elected then turned
 around and repeatedly screwed them over whenever he needed a patsy.
 Midgets with bad manners deserve to get spanked. 

 Teachers are like the Monorail and ferries - they have an enormous
 natural public sympathy they can draw on. They represent institutions
 that many people feel a nostalgic and/or endearing tie to regardless
 of their current state. The Monorail made-good on this affection to
 not only survive but to now thrive. The ferries and teachers have so 
 far failed to take advantage of their constituency. They've preferred
 instead to schmooze our political whores in Olympia. Obviously they 
 don't have enough cash to really compete for high-priced affections  
 of that nature. They need a different kind of approach. Reason and
 depending on the Governor's good will have been a wasted effort. 

 Time to nurture and develop their public's affections and force Olympia
 to clean up its act. A couple teachers elected as Independants and
 raising unholy hell every session ought to force education onto the
 legislative aggenda. Especially if it comes out of Stinky's narrow
 margin. If there were even two or three Teacher Party members in Olympia
 right now, Stinky would have to kiss their asses to get anything done.
 And they'd be in a position to take bids from the Republicans too.
 The lips would be on the other cheek - so to speak.

 How is it that the Pollock running the Seattle schools can 'accidently'
 lose tens of millions of tax Bucks without any noticeable consequences,
 but our political whores in Olympia can't pop for a similar amount to
 provide for our teachers? If the amount was trivial in the Pollock's
 case, it should be just as trivial in the teacher's case. Cough it up.
  
 In any event, it nice to see them show some proper self-respecting
 indignity at the shabby treatment they've been shown lately. Nobody
 respects someone who doesn't respect themselves. It doesn't make them
 look like martyrs; it just makes them look like schmucks.

 I'M HYP-NO-TIZED...
 
 In case you haven't noticed, our News Nazis are off on another one 
 of their hypnotism trips. They no longer just report the news; they
 manufacture it. Last week they were all flogging the fantasy of a mass 
 exodus out of the region. This week they're flogging the fantasy that
 because of the exodus and loss of jobs, traffic is a whole lot less of 
 a problem now. That's kind of reassuring. At least we know the state
 Department of Licencing is sharp enough not to give any journalists
 drivers licences. If the idiots were allowed to drive they'd know what
 totally preposterous BS their slinging. 

 The traffic sucks worse than ever. And for good reason: it's still
 running on a retro transportation infrastructure that hasn't been 
 significantly improved since The Little Stinker, our Gubnatorial 
 dwarf, assumed office. Rather than put that whopping BillionPlus 
 budget surplus into improving our highways, Stinky instead built 
 a new baseball stadium for his buddies. Doh!

 Ditto for the rest of our transportation infrastructure. Despite the 
 need for another runway at Sea-Tac, none has been built. Our ferry 
 system has been allowed to slowly deteriorate to the point where its
 vital role as a means of commuting for cross-Sound suburbanites is 
 threatened. Nothing has been done to transition our rail system for 
 fast turn around port services. Public transit is a retro 70's-style
 all-bus system that's pollution-intensive, slow, unreliable and
 inefficent. Despite it all, nothing is heard out of Olympia but the 
 sound our Gubnatorial dwarf snoring. He couldn't be less interested.

 This isn't new. Lack of transportation infrastructure was one of the
 reasons given by Boeing for moving its corporate HQ to Chicago. They
 had no confidence in Olympia addressing our problems and there is 
 little reason for us to either. While Boeing was in a postion to 
 'vote with their feet', we have a bit more of a committment to this
 place. We're in for the long haul.

 I suppose next week our News Nazis will be telling us that the general
 IQ level of the area has risen so dramatically in recent years that
 we really don't need schools or teachers anymore either. Wouldn't
 surprise me in the least. Just think of how much the State could save
 if it could turf the education budget. Probably enough to build 
 another baseball stadium eh.

.............................................................................

                               NIGGER

 Few topics in America are as taboo as race. And no other holiday
 meets with more ambiguity than Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. For 
 centuries race has been the exclusive domain of various political, 
 bureaucratic and corporate bigots who have manipulated it to play 
 one side off against the other and keep Americans seperated. As 
 long as we're at each others throats we won't be at the throats 
 of the Richie Rich Boyz. A genteel sort of velvet-glove Hate Crime
 condoned, sanctioned and only rarely punished by our courts. Judges 
 too, afterall, like to play the Race Card whenever it might further 
 their judical careers and legacies. Call it honor among thieves.

 The curious fact is that there is no physical basis for race. It 
 simply doesn't exist. It is a figment of our imaginations. We made 
 it up. Scientists have searched high and low for the Race Gene and 
 just can't find the dang thing. Aside from a few superficial physical
 adaptations of wildly varying range, made to various ecological niches,
 there are few markers to indicate a person's race. And what there are 
 are far too ambiguous to be of any real value. The brain of a normal
 African pygmy functions exactly the same way as the brain of a normal
 German stock broker. The pygmy's superior humanity is solely the result
 of a superior cultural environment and not racial superiority. The best
 we can do is say there is one race - the Human Race. Though we have
 many ways of expressing our humanity.

 "Nigger" used to be commonly used by Americans of every stripe up until
 very recently. It's an American word. Other English nations use different
 words. The English used to favor "Wog" - as in Pollywog. Get it? Black,
 squiggly little Ms. Polly living in the slime. Nowadays the Limmies have
 adopted our "nigger" word. It was commonly and casually employed in
 American literature up until recent times. Some, like Sherwood Anderson 
 and Jim Tully used it in its most common form: as sort of a neutral 
 descriptive slang nickname for Black people. While hardly complimentary,
 there was no particular disrespect or hatred intended. Others, like 
 Robert Service and Henry Mencken, used it in a deliberately hateful 
 and demeaning manner simply because they were bigots who believed Black 
 people to be truely inferior to White people. Others, like Mark Twain, 
 snuck it in the 'backdoor' through character names such as "Nigger Jim".
 However embarasing it may be, the word is hardwired into our culture. 
 It cannot be eliminated. 

 African-Americans also used the "nigger" word back then too. But they
 used it in their own way. It was reserved for the lowest of the low -
 the blackest of black-skinned people or those who had sucummed to the 
 insanity and became the European-Americans sterotypical cartoon persona 
 of Africans - Uncle Toms. It indicated someone who had surrendured
 their humanity. A thing with far more profound implications than just 
 skin-color.

 But beginning about two decades ago - very recently - this word has
 taken on a whole new meaning. Many black people have embraced it as
 THEIR word even as the Euro-based society around them is making a
 superficial, inconsistent effort to legally prohibit its public use.
 While Euro-based people can be and are arrested and imprisoned for 
 Hate Crimes simply by using the word "nigger", the many black-skinned
 people who use it face no such prohibition. One has to wonder if the
 purpose of this sort of legal exercise really is to encourage Black
 people to keep this word alive just in case White Folks decide to
 reposess it and use it again some time in the future. Otherwise they
 would be prohibited from using it publically as well. 
 
 Black people refer to one another as "niggers" all the time. It's
 in their music, their books, their magazines and their street
 talk. To be a "nigger" is a Good Thing in this context. It indicates
 a black-skinned person who isn't ashamed to embrace Black Culture 
 and be recognized as Black. It has many degrees and shades of 
 meaning to it but basically, that is its essence: Loud and Proud;
 part of the Family.

 The most publically-visible black-skinned people are never referred
 to as "niggers" even by Black people. Secretary of State Colin Powell
 isn't called a "nigger" even though he has black-skin. Neither is
 Howard Stern's sidekick Ms. Quivers, though she too has black skin.
 And this is because these black-sinned people seem to deprecate their
 blackness and desire to avoid unnecessary association with it. There
 is a whiff of shame about their blackness. They make an extraordinary
 effort not to sound Black, not to act Black and not to look Black. 
 When actress Whoopie Goldberg appeared on the Howard Stern show a few
 years ago she was shocked to discover Ms. Quivers was Black. "Does
 America know about...this?", Whoopie asked. Passing for white is very
 important to them. Middle-class Jamaicans have nearly made a religion
 of it.

 These people often spin it in terms of just being accepted for their
 humanity. But the fact is: they're are well aware of the premium our
 society puts on skin color and exploit it to the max to get their
 positions. Their skin color is their primary asset. To demurely try 
 to pretend it's irrelevant once they're safely in place, is the
 height of hypocracy. Few black-skinned Americans are allowed the
 privilege. Michael Jordan was the prototype - an utterly self-centered
 man of limited intelligence whose only marketable talent was his childish
 ability to bounce and shoot a large inflated ball. Supreme Court 
 Justice Clarance Thomas, most black TV Talking Heads, Michael Jackson, 
 etc. all fall into the same talentless/brainless mold. Like Zha-Zha
 Gabor, they're famous but nobody is really sure why.

 Howie slings no end of racist garbage at Ms. Quivers and, presumedly 
 for the sake of a hefty steady paycheck, she obediently just giggles. 
 Mr. Powell, a veteran of the military - our most racist institution - 
 has long ago gotten used to quietly and passively submitting to racism 
 and likely thinks its the most natural thing in the world to have his
 collegues refer to him behind his back as "that nigger". Doesn't 
 bother him at all to work for a man who asked the President of Brazil,
 the blackest nation in the Americas, if he's got any 'Blacks' in his 
 country. He's been working for hillbillies like that all his life. He
 probably thinks it's 'normal'.

 It may be just a coincidence, though I doubt it, but Ms. Quivers is
 ex-Air Force. The military, no longer legally allowed to exclude or
 relegate Black soldiers and sailors to demeaning positions as they
 traditionally did, has taken on the responsibility of 'white-ifying' 
 all Black people who pass through its ranks. It teaches them how to 
 live around bigots and be comfortable with racism. It teaches them
 how to kiss White Ass. Keep your mouth shut, don't make waves, don't
 appear to be too ambitious and maybe they'll raise the ceiling for 
 you. Complain or otherwise appear disatisfied with the military's
 inherent racism and you've effectively flushed your career down the 
 toilet. A whole new class of Militarized Blacks has appeared as a 
 result. They know their Place in the White World and passively 
 accept it. Shipping and receiving departments across the country
 are filled with them.

 It could legitmately be argued that these compromisers are truely
 "niggers" in the traditional sense of the word, not the more
 modern sense. They have surrendered a significant part of their
 humanity for often meager fame/wealth/power. They've sold 
 themselves into a kind of voluntary and quite comfortable sort 
 of slavery. They are part of a small, exclusive club. Despite 
 their small numbers they are disproportionately visible. Where 
 before black people were excluded from public view, now our Media 
 only show us a few carefully chosen faces - what they consider a
 represenative cross-section of Good Negroes and Bad Negroes. But 
 the reality of Black America in all its diversity remains just 
 as shut away from public view now as it was in the 50's.

 This compromise and surrender is only required of those of limited
 talent, little self-respect and meager intelligence. Supreme Court
 Justice Thurgood Marshall refused to submit and nonetheless succeeded 
 in acheiving high office. Brilliant musicians from Dizzy Gillespie to
 James Brown not only refused to submit but made their "blackness" an
 integral and very essential part of their genius. Martin Luther King, 
 Jr. and Malcolm X also fit this mold inspiring millions of people 
 around the world with their courageous actions and truthful words. 
 Great writers from Langston Hughes to LeRoi Jones/Amiri Baraka wrote 
 uncompromisingly from a humanity steeped in blackness. All of these
 people stood firmly atop their blackness to reach beyond it to the
 universally human - to something everyone could understand regardless
 of their imagined ethnicity or race. They didn't deny their blackness;
 they mounted it like a horse and rode it.

 None of these people even vaguely fit the traditional meaning of
 "nigger' but they more than qualify for the modern meaning. They
 are venerated members of the Family. All paid a high price for their
 unwillingness to compromise their humanity. But that is an essential
 price we extract from ALL people of integrity in ALL walks of life. 
 There is nothing we value higher as a society than conformity. It
 is the one real sense in which we are truely non-discriminating. We
 take great pride in homogenizing and pasteurizing peoples of other 
 cultures/philosophies/lifestyles in what we quaintly like to call 
 our "Melting Pot". Banging down nailheads that stick up, is a major
 preoccupation with us.
 
 In Amsterdam, Holland they have a soccer team called Ajax. Like 
 many European teams, they have their SuperFans and Ultimates. They 
 are loud, usually drunk and often obnoxious. They like to fight,
 hate anyone who isn't like them and generally anyone who is sober. 
 They are called "The Jews", believe it or not. They wave around 
 Israeli flags, paint themselves in blue and white and plaster 
 themselves with Stars of David. It isn't because they like Jews. 
 On the contrary, they hate Jews - and Niggers, Ragheads, Pakis, 
 etc.. The name comes from World War II times when the Germans 
 invaded Holland. One of the first orders issued by the Gestapo 
 was that all Jews had to wear a Star of David armband. Henceforth, 
 Jews were to be hated and despised. Next day, EVERYONE in Amsterdam 
 wore a Star of David armband. If the Germans wanted to hate and 
 despise the Jews of Amsterdam, they would have to hate and despise 
 EVERYONE in Amsterdam. They ALL wanted to be considered Jews in 
 the Germans eyes.

 "Nigger" too has come to symbolize being hated and despised 
 by all the right people - the narrow-minded bigots of America. 
 Intended as a slur, it is instead evolving into a badge of 
 honor. When the time comes that bigots understand that hating 
 one American as a nigger means they'll have to hate all 
 Americans, then we won't have a racial problem any more. 
 We're a long, long ways from that reality.

.............................................................................

                        'OL YELLER'S TWAT
                 (aka The War Against Terrorism)

 The Dogs of War can be heard restlessly and nervously skitering around 
 in the shadows as darkness falls and the moon is about to rise. They'll 
 be howling for blood soon. The Great American Christian Reich will soon
 be on the march against the Muslim Infidels. Over one hundred thousand
 of the "Fight'n Fags of Dee Oh Dee" are hovering around the borders of
 Iraq and the command has been shipped from Florida to Quatar. Still wanna
 pretend there ain't gonna be an invasion? Pshaw! You bet your sweet ass
 there will be.

 My Daddy fought the fascist assholes when they wore German uniforms
 back in WW-II days. Now that they're wearing American uniforms, it will
 be my privilege to continue the family tradition. Unprovoked, unthreatened 
 we are about to attack a nation for no other reason than to steal their
 oil. Just for the record: what we are doing is illegal, immoral and
 indecent. What we are doing truely is Evil and sinful in the extreme.

 The Shoeshine/Yeller Good-Cop/Bad-Cop shuffle, starring Uncle Tom Powell,
 the Official White House Shoeshine Boy, as "Shoeshine" the Good Cop, and
 President Yellowbelly, the only national leader in the world to run and
 hide during an attack, as "Yeller" the Bad Cop, continues. At least they
 know their audience eh. Our News Nazis are too stupid to even spot one 
 of the oldest Shuck 'n Jive routines in the book. How retarded are they?
 Retarded enough to imagine "Shoeshine" is a moderate. Check out his 
 son on the FCC's board some time. That little bastard is one of the
 pricks who is responsible for our Media going one-dimensionally neo-
 fascist. Daddy taught him everything he knows about kissing the Fat 
 White Asses of rich people.

 You ask: how could Yeller stage an invasion of Iraq without the U.N.
 inspectors finding a "Smoking Gun"? Let me count the ways...
 (1) A faked attack on any of the many U.S. warships in the Gulf of 
     Arabia. It worked for L.B.J. in the Gulf of Tonkin, mustering 
     him near-unanimous Congressional support to kick off our Vietnam
     (non)War with gusto.
 (2) Ignoring warnings of an imminent major attack. It worked for
     Roosevelt at Pearl Harbor and made a declaration of war easy 
     as pie. Thousands of dead sailors is a small price to pay for
     Presidential Glory. It's what Little People are for.
 (3) A variation on (2) in which Uncle Sammy holds the door open
     for a shadowy, never-before-heard-of figure who nails us good
     domestically. Exchange Osama's fingerprints on the plans for
     Saddam's and we got ourselves another 9/11. Why not an encore?
 (4) Shooting down of any of our many aircraft patrolling our 
     self-declared "No Fly Zones". A few have already been shot
     down but there's nothing in the rules to prevent us inventing
     a quota for this sort of thing.
 (5) An Israeli nuclear retaliation for a faked bio/chem attack on 
     them. Sharon's political career is in the toilet. If he's 
     going to do anything, he's going to have to do it now or
     forever hold his peace. He no longer has anything to lose.
 (6) Yeller's just feel'n a little edgy and having a Bad Hair Day.

 I don't know if he's bright enough to think of it, but there is a
 simple way for Yeller to pull off his invasion, defuse the anti-war
 movement and win over the hearts and minds of his timid 'liberal'
 opposition as well as environmentalists.

 Instead of the traditional "Blow-'em-All-To-Hell" invasion, simply 
 steal their oil from them by occupying their oilfields.

 The advantages are plentiful:
 a) Iraq would be stripped of it's primary source of income allowing
    us to effectively starve Saddam out of office.
 b) We would instantly own one of the largest oil reserves in
    the world, thus having defacto control of OPEC and able to
    guarantee a virtually unlimited supply for the U.S. market
    as well as our friends.
 c) The anti-war crowd wouldn't have any bombed out cities or dead 
    babies to cry about. And environmentalists would be ever so
    grateful that our militay spared the world the eco-mess of all
    those oil wells going up in smoke. 
 d) We are spared the embarassment of seeing our candy-ass warriors
    get their butts kicked by the Iraqi army.
 e) We would have a self-legitimating reason for being in the region
    semi-permanently.
    
 All those guys driving around with "Gore/Lieberman" bumperstickers
 on their SUVS would say a silent prayer of thanksgiving to Yeller
 everytime they gassed up. They'd happily turn a blind-eye to any
 excesses he might thereafter care to engage in. Just like they did
 during the Bosnian bombings and during our on-going blockade of
 Iraq. Hell, even the 'pro-life' Pope kept his fat Pollock mouth 
 shut about us starving Iraqi babies to death. The Euros, Japs, 
 Rooskies and many others would fall on their knees begging to kiss 
 Uncle Sammy's ass in exchange for a little of his oil. The Saudis
 would erect a 900-foot statue of Jesus smack in the heart of Mecca
 and invite Billy Graham over for a crusade if we'd promise not to 
 steal their oil too.

 It's such an obvious strategy I'd be amazed beyond words if someone
 else hasn't mentioned it yet. But the sling from Prez Yellowbelly 
 and our News Nazis doesn't give a hint either has yet considered
 the possibility.

 The wildcard in all this is General Sharon, the War Criminal who
 passes for King of Israel's Empire of Hate. We have no control
 over him. No telling what that fruitcake will do. The CIA really
 ought to send somebody over to take that fat-ass bastard out. I'll
 bet any of his IDF bodyguards would happily do the job for $5.
 Get somebody a little more predictable and willing to kiss Uncle
 Sammy ass in there.

.............................................................................

                       -  MONDO VATICANO -

 There is no crisis in the Church. There is only a crisis in the
 Vatican. The two ain't the same thing. Not by a long shot. While
 I consider myself 'In Communion With Rome' and accepting of the
 'Magisterium', I am severely disappointed in the present version 
 of both and utterly without respect for either. I am disappointed 
 because I feel they are failing in their responsibility to provide 
 the Church with competent moral leadership. Failing to submit to 
 the direction of the Holy Spirit. Failing in the duty to provide 
 us with useful and inspired teaching based on our traditions. For
 failing to properly protect and nourish Christ's Family. It's not 
 just a technical failure; it's a dismal, degrading and profound 
 failure. One that is crippling the Church by association.

 You need look no further than the daily newspaper. With the Dogs
 of War baying for blood, our supposedly pro-life Pope has failed
 to fight strongly and persistently for peace. His counsel is
 ignored by all involved. He has made himself irrelevant to the
 issue. With pervert priests popping up by the thousands around
 the world, the Vatican has continuously and consistent failed
 to provide compassionate, intelligent or even Christian direction.
 They prefer to ignore the problem in hopes that it will just go
 away. One Cardinal, Bernie Law in Boston, was actually stupid
 enough at one point to publically accuse a 6-year old child of 
 seducing a priest into raping him! With the sacraments in decline, 
 the priesthood rapidly evaporating and our sacred liturgy reduced
 to spiritual pablum, the blame lies squarely with Rome, not
 with the laity. This decline in our Church is THEIR fault, not
 ours. We are hungry and they refuse to feed us. We seek shelter
 and they refuse to protect us from the storm. 

 Rome and this version of the Magisterium are not doing their job. 
 They are not 'In Communion with the Church and the Holy Spirit'.
 They are arrogantly and profanely attempting to abrogate God's
 authority unto themselves. They ain't even vaguely qualified or
 fit to do so.

                                +

 Another good reason not to donate to your diocese:

 Catholic politicians in America have always had a problem with
 their fellow citizens wondering where their ultimate loyalties
 lie - with America or with the Pope. The inclination amongst
 Catholics has always been to poo-poo the notion as irrelevant.
 We render unto Caesar his due and unto God His due, just as
 Christ instructed us to do. No conflict necessary. Jack Kennedy, 
 our first Catholic president, was as good at chasing skirts as
 any Protestant, Jew, Muslim or Buddhist much to the Vatican's
 chagrin.

 Now the Vatican has cluelessly and rather stupidly upset the
 apple cart. It has come out with instructions to Catholic
 politicians that they have to directly obey the Pope and his
 teachings if they want to remain Catholic. In effect, the
 Vatican, a foreign government, is attempting to force Catholic 
 politicans into becoming its direct agents. An attempt that is
 illegitimate, immoral and self-defeating for the Church. If
 there were to abide by this new policy, they would be required
 under U.S. law to register as agents of a foreign government.

 Amongst the first to reply was Massachusetts Senator John Kerry.
 He politely told the Vatican to get to the back of the line. When
 he's functioning as a U.S. Senator, his duty is to represent all
 the people, not just those the Vatican likes. In short - he told
 the Vatican's Curia Queens to shut up and mind their own business.
 Excellent advice.

                               +
 
 Way back last fall there were news reports about a woman lawyer
 in New England who was suing the Vatican for refusing to allow
 her to become a priest. She was demanding that if the Vatican
 insisted in engaging in blatantly illegal sexual discrimination 
 against women that it's tax-exempt status should be revoked by
 the government. Exactly what has been done to institutions like
 Bob Jones University for exactly the same reasons - engaging in
 illegal discrimination. She believed in that fine old Catholic
 concept: pay for your sins.

 Her's is a reasonable argument as far as I'm concerned. The 
 proscription against woman priests makes neither spiritual nor 
 common sense. It's just something the Curia Queens in Rome 
 made up to preserve their Old Boys Club. It has no other basis.
 Anyways, after the initial report, the story disappeared. Our
 Media types rarely follow up on their stories and this was no
 exception.

 Susan Rockwell didn't disappear. She's the woman lawyer who filed
 the suit. She dropped me a note recently informing me of a webpage
 she set up for those who want to stay current with her efforts:

                          Womanpriest.com

 And she did a pretty spiffy job of it too. She's got all the
 documentation and raison d'etre you could ask for there. She's
 an intelligent, level-headed and spiritually commited Catholic.
 Check it out if you get a chance. And send her some encouragement.
 Taking on the Curia Queens is no trivial matter. They are not
 what you would call 'Christian Gentlemen'. More like low-life
 scumbags similar to those you would find in the typical corporate 
 boardroom. Exactly the same moral tone and lack of integrity.
 
                             +

 The case of the Swiss Guard who was murdered in the Vatican four
 years ago keeps getting stranger and stranger. At first the Curia
 Queens tried to sweep the whole thing under the carpet as just your
 typical ordinary murder/suicide at a drinking party gone sour. 
 Noth'n here to see folks. Let's move along now. But the families 
 insisted there was a helluva lot more to it than the Vatican was
 admitting. They got some help recently.

 A retired Italian prosecutor, Ferdinando Imposimato, has now 
 jumped into the ring with an intriguing book. He was involved in
 the original police investigation into the assassination attempt 
 on JP-2 back in 1981. Before he left in mid-investigation to take
 a seat in the Italian parliment, he found evidence the same Swiss 
 Guard commander who was later murdered in the murder/suicide, had 
 been recruited by the East German Stasi while a student in Germany 
 and had completely bugged the Papal Apartments for the Stasi ahead 
 of the assassination attempt. After talking to the assasin, he
 learned that the 'suicide' end of the same incident was likely also 
 involved in the unsolved kidnapping/murder of the daughter of a
 Vatican employee two years after the assassination attempt. He 
 thinks the killer was likely the victim and vice versa. They were 
 shutting him up to make sure he didn't sing.

 No comment from J. Edgar Hooverichi at the Vatican Bureau of
 Investigation. Those Boyz don't talk much.

                              +

 Everybody's favorite dead Albanian nun was back in tne news this 
 past week. Yep - Mother Theresa - the Coquette of Calcutta who 
 lured dictators and crooked businessmen out of their hard filched
 Loot so that she might fly about the world in the Concorde telling 
 everyone how Holy she was. As P.T. Barnum supposedly said, "There's 
 a sucker born every minute." And he was only talking about America.
 Mother Theresa's scam took in the whole frik'n world. She had 
 suckers popping out 20 to the minute as she meerily fleeced them
 all.
 
 Future-Super-Saint JP-2 has been fast-tracking the old phony at
 indecently rapid speed to sainthood. Even paid good money for a
 couple fake miracles out of his own bottomless Vatican bank 
 account to make the whole thing look kosher. 

 And now that party pooper Christopher Hitchens comes along to
 rain on the parade. He says MT has no business in the heavenly 
 choir. He strongly suggests a demonic quartet would be more 
 appropriate given the generally Evil nature of her past. If he
 were merely another disgruntled non-Catholic, the Vatican and
 its flunkies would smear him as anti-Catholic and leave it at
 that.

 Unfortunately he was invited by the Vatican to be the Devil's
 Advocate for MT's coronation. The cheap bastards wanted him to
 do it for free. He rightly figured any guy who lives in a 1,000
 room palace full of priceless art treasures while waited on hand
 and foot by 100's of staff, could afford to pop for a few Bobs
 pay. Chris turned the old hypocrite down.

 Instead he's indulged himself in an ugly display of public
 ingratitude via the English newspapers, by slurring MT's 
 sacred name. Shame Christopher! May the orphans of Calcutta 
 kick you in the shins next time you visit. I'd kick 'em right
 back if I was you.

                               +

 What could be more Catholic than the sign of the cross? Other
 religions have rosaries of various sorts but we're the only
 ones waving our hands around with this sort of deliberation.
 If members of Scotland's Parliment have their way, it may soon
 be illegal to make a sign of the cross at soccer games in that
 soccer-mad nation. They claim it moves Protestants to violence.
 Glasgow's two traditional rivals - Rangers and Celtic - are
 closely identified, respectively, with that city's Protestant
 and Catholic populations. Celtic fans often are seen making the
 sign of cross in the general direction of Rangers fans whenever
 their lads score a goal. Soon beer bottles and seats are flying
 as the constables attempt to re-establish civil order. The
 probhibition is imagined to prevent this sort of thing from
 happening. Though personally I think it has a lot more to do
 with too many people drinking too much beer.

 But what about visting Italian and Spanish teams involved with
 UEFA and Euro Cup matches? Many of their players traditionally 
 make the sign of the cross before taking the field. Will the
 constables invoke the new law to throw them all in the Hoosegow
 before the match even starts? A burgeoning Euro Spiritual Crisis 
 appears to be evolving before our very eyes.

                               +

 Fr. Justin Lucio in Dallas runs a joint called "Casita Maria" to
 counsel that area's thousands of undocumented illegal immigrants.
 An act of lovingkindness wouldn't you say? Nah. He stands accused
 of hussling and ripping off the Wet-Backs for thousands of Bucks
 virtually all of which went into his own pocket. Not only had he
 been illegally charging them for his services (state law prohibits
 such a thing) but they say he's also been dipping into the Poontang 
 of the cuter Babes who passed through. Gonna have him a bunch of 
 little Fr. Lucios running around Dallas in no time. Apparently he
 has been less than cooperative with federal/state/city authorities
 looking into his hussle...err...operation too. But their onto him
 now and he's in Big Trouble. Time to head for the monastery Padre. 
 Grab that comfy cell next to Bernie Law until the Heat's off. Be
 sure to tell him to keep his hands in his pockets and don't bend
 over around him. He might slip you a little surprise otherwise.
 
                                   +

 Fr. Mike Hands of the Suffolk (MA) diocese just had a change of
 address. He used to be assigned to one of the churches there until
 he got accussed of molesting and sodomizing a 13-year old kid. In
 exchange for copping States Evidence as star witness to a Grand
 Jury investigating that diocese peculiar child abuse record, they
 were willing to reduce his Time to just 6-months in the Tombs with
 5-years of probation. Not a bad deal for a scumbag like that. In 
 the interim they stuck him in a convent with strict court orders
 to stay away from pornography of any kind. He just couldn't resist.
 He got caught downoading kiddie porn on one of the convent laptops
 recently and is suspected of doing a little trading while he was
 at it. Now he's back behind bars and it looks like the deal is off.
 He is much distressed by this turn of events and is threatening to
 do himself in. Poor dear! I suppose next he'll be demanding DSL
 in his cell or he'll slit his wrists.

                                 +

 Cardinal "Fast Eddie" Egan in New York City is back at it again.
 He's refusing to cooperate with the US Bishop's Commission looking
 into sexual abuse scandals in his diocese. A panel of lay advisors
 wanted to visit him but he effectlvely slammed the door in their
 face. The guy's a born Loser well on his way to doing the Bernie 
 Law Shuffle. Somebody get his monastery cell warmed up.

 Guys like that make me wanna believe that our Media scumbags and
 the Vatican's scumbags couldn't be more than deserving of one 
 another. A match made in Heaven. My money's on the Media guys.
 
----------------------------------------------------
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 on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
 it into Lutefisk.
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