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Another Foggy Moment
These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.
THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG
------------------------------------------------
WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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- 189 -
Gosh! Everything's happening at once. While the lovely Yoshino
cherry trees in the U Dub Quad have started to bloom, we also
got our first snow of the year. Well...okay...the rain just sort
turned into a slurpee briefly. Nothing on the ground though March
is notorious around here for major 1-2 foot dumps. The Dawn Chorus
continues to expand and diversify. Saw a jay yesterday. Ours are
bigger and a whole lot crazier than the ones they got back east.
I saw two of them team up on a cat once. One of them trolled the
kitty to get its attention, then the other one swooped in from
the back and nipped poor Mr. Pussy. He was sure surprised. Jumped
up like somebody stuck a firecracker up his butt. Too slow. The
jays guffawed with raucous delight.
PICKING A DATE...
If the Mugging of Iraq kicks off next Sunday that would have a nice
symmetry to it. It would be the anniversary of the My Lai Massacre
in which American soldiers raped and maimed Vietnamese vilages in
the process of slaughtering off 300 of the mostly women and kids
they encountered. Another great chapter in American Military History.
One in which General Shoeshine, our Secretary of State, figured
prominenty as one of the jerks who tried to cover it up. Hell,
nowadays President Yellowbelly hisself would pin a medal on their
chests for that heroic deed. It's the kind of cowardice he could
relate to.
I actually ran into one of those Mai Lai heroes once. It was a good
25 years after the event. He was squirreled away back in the piney
woods of northern Michigan with his wife. Completely cut off from
society like a hermit. One totally fucked up dude. You can never
get rid of the ghosts or quieten their screams eh. Stuck in an
eternal nightmare. His wife did all the talking. She stuck by her
man despite it all.
HOOTERVILLE HISTORY...
Wednesday will be the 33rd anniversary of the day Da Man moved into
U Dub. It all started with the visit of Brigham Young University
atheletes to the campus a few days before. At the time, the Mormons
made a point of Dissing black folks in their liturgy. Naturally
U Dub's Black Students Union found this objectionable and registered
their displeasure. Their pals in the Seattle Liberation Front (can
you imagine such a organization once existed?!) expressed their
solidary by joining in. The cops showed up to crate a little chaos
and havoc and next thing you know everything's verklimmt. Classes
were disrupted and at least 20 protestors got bludgeoned by the
cops. Undeterred and unbowed, the BSU and SLF shifted into high
gear to shut 'er down. Better yet, the Seattle and KingCo Donut
Muncher's Society did it for them. They moved in and occupied Dub's
campus buildings.
THE ENEMY WITHIN...
The United States government has declared war on its own population.
Uncle Sammy has become the biggest anti-American terrorist in the
world. He subjects even the most innocent of his citizens to highly
intrusive scrutiny and surveillance that utterly compromises their
privacy. Identity checks, disguised as 'selt-belt campaigns', are a
common sight now. Security cams eyeball our every move. Phone-taps
are authorized, without evidence, simply on-request. Citizens are
secretly arrested, secretly incarcerated and subjected to secret
trials. Legal dissent is subjected to official harassment, pepper
spray and stick-whippings. Trying to flog this crap as 'for our
protection' makes about as much sense as Hitler's claim he was
putting the Jews in special camps to ensure their safety. Yeah right.
Our government obviously has become extremely hostile towards us.
Uncle Sammy has become a traitor to American traditions, showing
blatant contempt for our Constitution and Common Law. He clearly
hates Americans even more than Osama bin Laden does. He no longer
even pretends to be our friend and guardian. He has declared himself
an enemy. Under those circumstances, we have ever moral right in the
world to kick him in the balls and bring him to his knees. Just as
we would any other enemy of this nation. There's a helluva lot more
of us than there is of him and his flunkies. Kicking their asses
would be a cake-walk.
STATE HOUSE BOOBS...
Count on our State House Boobs to really put Washington on the
national map eh. That cute little patriotic snit the two
Republicans threw over a Muslim saying prayers at the start
of the day's session really impressed the hell outta everybody.
So much for the fantasy about there being no official hate
campaign against Muslims here. They apologized, of course -
after their Neo-Fascist Party got its chain publically yanked.
But they were lying. No bigee. Lying comes naturally to those
jerks. To try to pass garbage like that off as 'Christian' in
some sense is a bit of a stretch. It's just plain, simple
bigotry. Got nuth'n to do with religion at all. The only regret
the Republican Crackers have is that they got caught.
NEIGHBORS UPDATE...
That's that. The house of crazies is a thing of the past now. The
nuts have all flown the coop. The nut who owned the place, aside
from being a bit of a slimebag, apparently out-smarted himself.
From the looks of things, not a difficult task. It seems he lost
the house after he listed it as an asset in bankrupcy proceedings
then tried (unsuccessfully) to back out. Opps. Lost a lot of other
properties too from what I hear. They were all put up for auction.
On the face of it, he's stink'n rich.
As might be expected in such a situation, Mayor Greg's City Hall
put the interests of the tenets who had made much of this possible,
way, way down at the bottom of his To Do list. People with money
come first - the people bidding on the houses. People who might be
able to kick a few bucks into a politician's campaign kitty. Greg
graciously allowed them to summarily boot the helpful tenets out
the door, toot sweet. No nasty eviction laws to worry about for his
buddies.
Just to show he's not a Bad Guy, Greg threw some money at the suc...
errr...ex-tenets as they hit the bricks. Not his money, mind you -
our money. Call it conscience money. A conscience is much easier
to come by when somebody else is picking up the tab. Did they find
a new place to live? Who knows? Who cares? They served their purpose
and got properly paid off. That's what Little People are for.
OFFICIAL INSANITY...
I think we have to seriously consider the possibility that the
President of the United States is mentally insane. Now I ain't
no Shrink but when the guy running the show appears in public
blubbering about Jesus talking to him, you gotta know his
12-pack's a couple bottles short of full. Being a religious man
myself, it's not like I got an axe to grind with people who
believe in God. I'm a paid up subscriber to the God Club. But
considering that everybody from his own Bishop to the Pope have
condemned his actions, it seems pathalogically delusional for
him to be pulling religious rank. He ain't qualified. Sounds
like he's getting some flashback from his Frat House Drunk days.
The matter is somewhat complicated by the Shrink Industry's
recent claim that a full half of all American's are clincally
nutso. Those of us who are sane have long suspected as much,
but seeing it in black and white from the pros was something
of a shock. K00L! Being a fruitcake is perfectly normal in
America. In the rest of the world it's generally restricted to
about 3% of the population. We tend to be overachievers at most
everything we do.
.........................................................................
PROSPECTIVE NAMES FOR THE NEXT SPACE SHUTTLE:
Bolide
Toast
Fire Ball XL5
Comet From Hell
Tallahassee
Hindeburg
Space Brick
Icarus
Disaster
Freud
Impotence
Led Zeppelin
Chappaquiddick
Third Time's The Charm
Bad Things Happen In Threes
- from alt.conspiracy
.........................................................................
HARRY'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
Old Harry, the Lord of the Flies - the Devil - is preparing the
biggest celebration he's thrown in over 50 years. Who else could
find joy in our present insane, blind, inexorable march to mega-
death, world financial depression and gross human degradation?
His "Nazi Thing" nearly worked out except the pure evil of it was
a bit too transparent. It wasn't the weakness of Herr Schickelgrubber
that led to it's failure. Indeed, Old Harry prefers his vessels on
the weak side. The weak-minded are so much easier to jerk around.
What did it in was the simple fact that it just became too damned
obviously demonic. Harry lost his head in the excitement of the
carnage and dropped his guise. Standing there naked to the world,
laughed his tail off in the rubble and the stink of dead bodies, it
became obvious who had brought it all about. Humanity had made such
a remarkably fine ass of itself, he just couldn't control himself
any longer. He couldn't resist prematurely rubbing our noses in it.
Oh well. Win some, lose some. But, win or lose, Harry enjoys his work
and the game is far from over. He survived to fight another day. As
they say in Russia: the Devil is to be feared not because he is so
clever, but because he is so old. He knows all the tricks. He knows
how to survive.
At least subtlety insinuated into every society known to man, he
is about to cash in on centuries of patient work in yet another
of humanity's much-admired societies - America - the self-proclaimed
Land of the Free. From the genocidal attempt to wipe out the people
who were already living here to our infatuation with suing each
other, it was definely Harry's kinda town. And our cleverly-worded
motto: "In God We Trust", appealed to his sense of irony. Which God?
HaShem or Mammon? With most of it's modern civic outlines dominated
by bank buildings, not churches, that wasn't too hard to figure out.
Who needs God and freedom when you can get rich? It took most of the
past century for him to swing us his way of thinking.
Realizing that Evil is a relative thing in men's eyes, Harry hid
a subtle evil behind an obvious one - Good America vs. Bad Russia.
Next to the Soviets, the pillaging Visigoths looked like Good
Guys. America could do no wrong. Even slaughtering off a million
Vietnamese whose only 'crime' was to be living in the wrong place
at the wrong time, hardly put a dent in Uncle Sammy's halo. Like
scum rising in a soup, America floated meerily to the top of the
human stew. With the atheistic/heathen Rooskies for cover, even
our phony shit smelled good. All he had to do was string out the
rope. Uncle Sammy would take of the rest on his own.
One fine day, Harry looked about him and decided the time had come.
America was rich and powerful beyond measure. No other society in
human history had attained such wealth and might. Not needing
them any longer, he pulled the plug on his Soviets. Pffffffft! The
air quickly rushed out and their Empire inexplicably evaporated
practically over night. Amazingly, no one suspected a thing. It
came off like clock-work. "Horray!", everyone shouted. Humans are
such trusting creatures.
Inexplicability and improbability are Harry's trademarks, like
the smell of sulphur or wealth measured materially instead of
spiritually. A sure sign that he's nearby.
Having learned his lesson in Germany, he didn't rush things this
time. The Nazis exploded from destitution to World Power in only
a few short years. Harry allowed the stew to simmer this time.
Now alone at the top of the human heap, Americans grew crazier as
each year of supremacy passed. Uncle Sammy took on a noticeable
strut and bravado to his gait. He bellowed with greater and louder
arrogance and self-righteousness as the years passed. Gone was
shy, modest cowpoke of yesteryear; replaced by a swaggering,
bellering Hick on a daily power drunk. Sammy arrogantly declared
himself The World's Cop.
At the same time, Harry's 'social work' continued apace. Americans
in their greed came to define 'good' as 'not getting caught'.
Money became the highest measure of all worth, physical and meta-
physical. Our most respected citizens were our most successful
theives. Basketball players became vastly more respected than
molecular biologists or philosophers. The social and intellectual
rot took on never-before-seen dimensions. The stink was horrid
but everyone swore it was quite lovely. It smelled like money.
It smelled great!
Sensing the broth had reached perfection, Master Chef Harry set
about the final step: dishing it out. In the confusion of a
national election that inexplicably ended in a dead-heat (no
one the wiser of course), he slipped His Man into the top spot.
Yet another of his weak vessels. A simple-minded hillbilly from
a rich family who had a long history of drunkedness and craven
cowardice. A man given to hilarious public postures of deep
religiousity. A man who was such a complete idiot that only a
fool would follow him. Harry really outdid himself this time.
It was almost too good to be true. Way, way better than that
snotty, smarmy Hitler. This time he picked a santimonious God
Boy to carry the ball. Hallelujah!
Realizing his Boy was a little too stupid to handle things on
his own, Harry surrounded him with the usual cast of greedy,
arrogant, souless, clever neer-do-wells. The current crop of
Goebells, Berias and Cardinal Richeleaus. Men with utterly
no conscience and no morals - common, ordinary psychopaths.
Remembering past lessons, he softened this menagerie with one
weak and ineffective but highly ambitious Nice Guy - General
Shoeshine - the Good Negro who Knew His Place. There. No one
could say he didn't have a sense of humor now.
A spark. A spark to kick things off. Harry needed a spark. It
wasn't crucial that it made sense - in the excitement no one
would question it's authenticity. But being the consumate
artiste, he was determined to come up with something that had
a little pizzaz. Something that would make a real impression
and capture the imagination for decades to come. He picked
a Doozy: two fully fueled airliners packed with passengers,
plowing into America's tallest towers in its largest city.
Yep. They'd remember that one alright.
Incapable of restraining himself, he rigged it so that the two
towers inprobably totally collapsed killing everyone in
them. To provide the needed raison d'etre, he ensured that the
unknown perpetrators of this henious act were rumored to be,
like his boy in the White House, also religious fanatics. A
different breed of course - Muslims. The Jews were a little
to tied up with their dream-turned-nightmare in Israel. For
good measure - CRASH! went the American economy and THUD! went
the Almighty American Buck. Airlines went bankrupt, hundreds
of thousands were thrown out of work, pensions evaporated before
they could be used, investments dropped like a rock. Weeeeee!
Things were going swell.
A Holy Crusade against the Evil Infidel Hordes was immediately
declared. As the UN and the world looked on in horror and
helplessness, afraid to object, Uncle Sammy offered thousands
of human sacrifices in Afghanistan to the God of Vengence.
Finding the taste of Muslim blood to his liking, he prepared
to further indulge himself on a far wider scale. Muslims in
a delicate sauce of crude oil were now his Blue Plate Special.
Yum! Yum!
No one dared object. The Pope was afraid to. The Dalai Lama
was afraid to. Congress crapped it's drawers. All the Princes
of this World trembled on their knees before Sammy's fearsome
and ferocious visage, too cowardly to resist him. Once again
the Reich was on the march. Just like the Good Old Days. Harry
traded in his Swastika for an American flag and he's waving it
around like a true patriot as he whistles "God Bless America".
It's all he can do to keep from laughing himself sick. It was
so unbelievably frik'n easy.
Hang on. The ball is rolling and has attained a momentum all
its own. No one controls it; it controls them. This could well
be Harry's crowning moment of Glory - the moment he's worked
so hard for so many millenia to bring about: the destruction
of God's ultimate creation, the creature made in His own image -
humanity. And it may be Uncle Sammy who hands him his prize.
Wouldn't that be a lovely touch of irony?
........................................................................
'OL YELLER'S TWAT
(aka The War Against Terrorism)
Mon Dieu! With MILLIONS marching against him; having failed to
convince his allies of the justice of his cause; having failed to
convince the U.N. of the justice of his cause; having even failed
to convince the Pope of the justice of his cause; 'Ol Yeller, our
Coward King, is going to do what he intended to do all along: mug
Iraq and steal its oil. There was never any more doubt that he
would do so than there was that Hitler would invade Czechoslovakia.
Same difference; same aggenda - world conquest. Screw everybody.
The ghost of the Nazi Reich has risen from its historical grave
and now marches under the American Stars and Stripes, instead of
the Swastika. The US military has become an enemy of mankind.
The groundskeepers have been mowing the grass at the national
cemetaries and the drunks down at the VFW Hall have been working
up an honest sweat practicing their graveside protocol as everyone
preps for a long string of stirring and inspiring military funerals.
Won't be long now before the body-bags come flowing back home with
whatever's left of Little Billy. Artists across the nation have been
doodling designs for a prospective War On Terrorism Memorial Wall
in DC. It'll be worth a bundle to the lucky winner of the forthcoming
design contest.
Code named "The Butcher of Baghdad 03", the invasion will commence
by dumping tons of megadeath indiscrimately onto the 4-million
population of the city of Baghdad. Mass murder on a scale only
dreamed of by Hitler's Luftwaffe. Men, women, kiddies, babies,
Grannies, Grampas - go'n to kill every last one of them goddam
Mooslem Infidels then steal their oil. The Pollocks and Limies are
the only ones willing to help.
The opposition at home is preparing for Yeller's little massacre
too. Day after the invasion, people will begin walking off work.
Our News Nazis probably already have the stories about how it
was a failure already written and in the can. Nobody listens to
them any more anyways so their Sling likely won't have much
impact itself. It's not likely most Americans will join such a
walk out and those who do won't be able to stay out long. It's
pretty much a self-defeating bullshit gesture that does nothing
whatsoever to help the Iraqi people. Oh well...you gotta start
somewhere eh.
The anti-war movement remains largely a masturbatory effort -
a lot of people stroking themselves off. It's had no political
impact. Yellowbelly ignores them; the Democrats ignore them;
our News Nazis largely ignore them. They've got to take it to
the next level and inflict some serious pain. Politicians are
too stupid to understand anything less than a 2x4 to the side
of the head. At least nobody is seriously proposing non-violence
as a tactic like back in the Vietnam (non)War days. I think
many people are ready to seriously kick some fascist ass this
time around. Our cops and the FBI are a joke. You can kill a
Federal judge in Seattle and get away with it. Obviously Seattle's
cops and their dumb Pollock Chief are nothing to worry about.
With our election process grossly compromised and little more
than a corporate auctioning-off of canidates precided over by
our News Nazis, Demoblicans like Maria Cantwell and our
gubnatorial midget the Little Stinker think they can safely
thumb their noses at the electorate. It's about time somebody
convinced them otherwise. There are many possibilities.
It's nice to think there is maybe one of those suitcase nukes
sitting in DC right at this moment awaiting its opportunity to
inflict a little "Shock & Awe" of its own. If it's good enough
for Iraq, why not America? New York City, Chicago or L.A. would
be better targets. That would inflict serious economic damage.
DC's just symbolic. Cutting off Uncle Sammy's economic nuts
would mean a permanent end to his American Empire Wet Dream.
We'd be screwed. Those baby nukes are out there somewhere.
.................................................................
- MONDO VATICANO -
The Vaticam's Curia Queens were still in panic Face Saving Mode
this week. After sitting on their fat behinds for the past six
months blubbering superficial nonsense about war being bad (oh
really!?), they embarassed themselves by pandering to Cardinal
Dulles' crowd of neo-fascists in America. Even invited a God Boy
from a fascist think-tank to flog some garbage about the impending
invasion being a 'just war'. Pshaw! They waited until an American
invasion of Iraq was a Sure Thing before finally launching their
ineffective and limp-wristed peace campaign. Freak'n hypocrites!
One of the Curia flunkies was dispatched to Washington to put in
a feeble word for peace and life this week. President Yellowbelly
casually and routinely blew-off the many Papal appeals for various
prisoners he fried back in his Texas days. He did much the same to
this clown. But that's okay. No hard feelings. While 'liberalish'
Catholic politicans who implement the pro-choice mandate their
electorates entrusted to them are branded persona non grata -
publically humiliated and embarassed by fanatical bishops with
delusions of grandeur - a President with real blood on his hands
is treated as a friend. It's unrealated to the latter's Faith-Based
social program aggenda that promises to put mucho Bucks in those
bishops back pockets. Hell no! Totally unrealated.
So now they can settle back in the Papal Palace, pop a little corn
and tune in CNN to watch America lob thousands of missles and bombs
into a city of four million men, women and children. Wee! It'll be
more fun than Mardi Gras. And now their asses are covered. Or so
they think. We know better.
+
This past week we remembered St. Thomas Aquinas, undoubtably the
greatest theologian in the history of the Church. Even to this day,
no one comes close being his equal.
Thomas was born near Aquino in Italy in the early 13th century.
While still a young boy, he was sent to the great monastery at
Monte Cassino for his education. Rather big, slow and clumsy for
his age, he picked up the nickname of "The Ox" though his teachers
quickly learned that his facade of dumbness was very thin. He blew
them away with occasional outbursts of intellect even they couldn't
match and often asked questions they were incapable of answering.
As serious and Geekish as any modern-day Micro-Serf, Thomas passed
on the party scene that flourished around him at Monte Cassino and
perferred instead to bury his nose in books. He was no Party Boy.
He was pure Egghead.
He was also deeply religious and determined to become a priest. His
parents were deeply offended by the notion. Bullheaded to the max,
Thomas insisted. Just as bullheaded, his parents went so far as to
kidnap him and hold him under house-arrest for two years to ensure
that he didn't run off and become a priest. Thomas proved the more
clever and found a way to ran off and become a Dominican anyways.
Next stop - Paris - where he became a student of the great alchemist,
botanist and Aristotolian rationalist Albertus Magnus. At the time,
science and by inference rationalism, was considered a profane,
pagan pursuit. Aristotle's philosophy had disappeared everywhere
except the Arab world where it was highly reverred. Albertus was
it's lone European proponent. Thomas wasn't especially interested
in Alburtus' scientific angle but he really grooved on the philosophical
possibilities. Blending rationalism with theology, he set off an
intellectual bonfire that brought him great personal fame. From
Paris to Roma he was in constant demand. The Vatican wanted him to
become ArchBishop of Padua. As a result, European thought emerged
from its Dark Ages slumbers largely thanks to Thomas Aquinas.
A shy and retiring guy by nature, he turned down the Vatican on
that bishopric, preferring instead to devote himself to his studies
and writings. His greatest tome, Summa Theological, comprehensively
surveyed the Christian thought of his age and remains a primary
theological reference for the Church. No one has ever surpassed it.
As rationalist as he was, Thomas had a strong mystical/irrational
vein running through his spirituality. As he life came to close,
he retired to a monastery to leap off the top of the pole into the
lap of his God.
----------------------------------------------------
The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
ask. You want to make money off it, gimme some first.
I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
it into Lutefisk.
~--------------------------------------------------
MAIL: tofoggymoment@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE: https://www.angelfire.com/nb/afm
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