__ _ / _|_ __ ___
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                         \__,_|_| |_| |_| |_|
                         Another Foggy Moment

      These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
      of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
      Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
      cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
      another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.

                     THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG

         ------------------------------------------------
         WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
         If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
         punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
         the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
         Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
         89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
         -------------------------------------------------

                             - 192 -

 He's back. The ChickaChicka bird finally added is voice to the
 growing Dawn Chorus. Oooo-eeee-Chicka-Chicka-ee. Spring has
 truely arrived. Where yat bra!

 U Dub's Quad has taken on the appearance of a Fantasyland with
 the Yoshino cherry trees in full blossom. It's suddenly become
 a favorite gathering place, especially for Asian students. Instead
 of quickly shuffling through on the way to elsewhere, many are
 lingering to groove on the Yoshinos organic vibes.

 The UDub rowing shells are out at the crack of dawn practicing 
 for next month's regatta. They're way ahead of the usual pack
 of grunting Yuppies and wheezing geezers from the Lake Union
 rowing clubs. And none of that bullhorn chatter either. They
 just quietly bend their backs to the task.

 How strange it is. The Navy across the Sound is on war-alert,
 the Coasties are on half-war-alert and the city is in peacetime.
 We're all on different pages. United We Stand. Yeah sure, 
 whatever.

 HOOTERVILLE HISTORY...

 Happy Birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey
 and smell like one too. Yes, Friday is the grand 50th Birthday
 of the lovely Alaska Way Viaduct - Hooterville's answer to the
 Berlin Wall. Wouldn't it be nice if they blew it up to celebrate
 the event? Dream on. The world's ugliest and most dangerous
 stretch of elevated roadway will live on another 50 years if its
 up to the state of Washington to pay for a replacement. Olympia
 keeps hoping an earthquake will trash the whole thing so they
 can hit up Uncle Sammy for money to replace it. So far, no luck.
 But anyone who's ever drove it has wondered if they will be one
 of the lucky souls to get pancaked between levels in a sudden
 rattler. One of these days...THUMP!...it's gonna happen to
 somebody.

 DOO DAH...

 Emerald Downs' first Condition Book of the year arrived in the
 mail last week. Racing Secretaries at horse-racing tracks all
 over North America issue these periodic little pamphlets that
 list their intended races for a month or so. There's nothing
 hard and fast about them but they give a good picture of where
 a trainer might be aiming their winning pony. Aside from that, 
 it means the barns out in Auburn are filling and the early 
 morning crowd is out there exercising their horses in preparation 
 for The Big Day. The summer card opens on Saturday April 19th. 
 Yee Haw!

 Is "Gonzo" Gonsalves coming back for another summer of crazy
 five-wide winning stretch runs? Which Baze kid will be wearing
 the silks this year? Is Mike Pegram going to run any horses
 out of Emerald? These and many other questions begin to invade
 my thoughts.

 B.C. FERRIES...

 BC Ferries finally got rid of their four PacifiCat fast ferries. 
 Asking somewhere around $8 MegaBucks apiece, they ended up 
 getting more like $3 MegaBucks apiece. All four got scooped
 up by one auction bidder for $13.5 Million U.S. (about $20
 Million Canuk Loonies). They've been desperately flogging those
 turkeys for the past few years. At one point they even turned
 up on eBay but the winning bid didn't meet their reserve. 

 Basically a sound design by an award-winning local, they got
 sadly redesigned by a politician who didn't know a thing in 
 the world about designing boats of any kind. Seriously. The 
 Premier of British Columbia at the time, a little twerp who 
 is presently flogging neon bar signs in Vancouver, literally 
 redid the winning design - by himself - to make them more 
 'user friendly'. He completely botched the job and totally
 changed the vessels sailing characteristics. No longer capable 
 of handling the occasionally rough waters of Georgia Strait 
 where they were intended to run, restricted to running only 
 in calm waters, they still were forever breaking down. They 
 proved utterly useless. Two of them never even made it in the 
 water. They were shrink-wrapped and stuck in a warehouse,   
 untouched by human hands. The other two saw spot service 
 when BC Ferries was truely desperate for extra equipment. 
 They always broke down.

 THE SEATTLE RED WINGS...

 Further to Seattle being home to the first American team to win
 the Stanley Cup...

 The team, was completely made up of Canuks of course. There were 
 no American players on the Seattle Metropolitans. Hooterville
 hates a winner. If you want a guaranteed way to become highly
 unpopular in Seattle, win something. It goes against the Natural
 Order of things here. It seems somehow sinful. Naturally, the
 Metropolitans became highly unpopular after winning the Stanley
 Cup and were forced, by low attendance, to move to Victoria (BC)
 where they became the Victoria Cougars.

 Jack Norris was a notorious Chicago Robber-Baron whose grain
 elevators dotted the American praries like Zits on a teenager's
 face. A Canuk by birth, he had come south as a young man and 
 struck it rich in the grain biz. Loud, brash and bigger than 
 life, he wasn't shy about letting everyone know he was Stink'n 
 Loaded. He flaunted his wealth in everybody's face. He lived 
 BIG - bought politicians and judges, had big cars, big houses, 
 gambled High Stakes and had plenty of nurses to sooth his 
 jangled nerves. Which isn't to say he wasn't a good family man. 
 His everloving wife and children can attest to that.

 He was also sports-oriented too if he smelled a buck in it. 
 The local Chi-Town boys had the baseball racket already covered, 
 football was still strictly for college kiddies, basketball wasn't 
 even on the map. But boxing was hot and crooked as a dog's hind 
 leg. It was full of people who appreciated the value of money. 
 Especially if it was slipped quietly to them in a paper-bag
 under the table when nobody was looking. So Jack became a big 
 Push in boxing. 

 Somewhere along the way the NHL caught his eye. Here was a sport
 that people could get excited about. It had speed, violence and
 a certain elegance to it. Best of all, nobody else seemed to 
 have heard about it. But those Canuks in Montreal and Toronto 
 had it wrapped up tighter than Houdini on a bridge. Not being 
 the kind of guy to take 'no' for an answer, he whipped out his 
 wallet, greased the palms of a few of them Hosers and soon had 
 himself two new franchises in their NHL: Chicago and Detroit. 
 He was going to put hockey on the American sports map. 

 Now that he had a franchise, all he needed was a team. Where
 could a Robber Baron find a hockey team? Canada, of course. 
 Jack looked around The Great White North a little and liked 
 what he saw in the Victoria (BC) "Cougars" (nee Seattle Metros). 
 They were struggling and came cheap. So he bought them - lock,
 stock and barrel: players, coach, trainers, equipment - the
 whole shebang. He then moved them to Detroit where he renamed 
 them the Winged Wheels. He came up with that distinctive team 
 emblem that they've had ever since. He even built them a fancy 
 new arena that nicely doubled for boxing matches: Olympia Stadium. 
 A short while later he came to his senses and renamed them the 
 Detroit Red Wings, giving them those cute Santa Claus uniforms 
 they've worn ever since. Bingo! He was in the hockey business. 

 As anyone who knows diddly about hockey can confirm, the Wings
 have almost always been one of the classiest teams in the NHL
 right from the old 6-team league days. In recent years, they
 have invariably been The Team To Beat. Gordie Howe, Norm Ullman, 
 Terry Sawchuck, Ted Lindsay, Marcel Pronovost and many other
 Hall of Famers have worn the Wings colors over the years. 

 We want 'em back. They're from Seattle. They belong here, not
 in Detroit. Don't make us go to MoTown and kick butt to get 
 them back. We don't want to hurt anybody. We're peaceful people. 
 Just hand 'em over.

 AN EERIE ENCOUNTER...

 I finally ran into someone who supports President Yellowbelly's
 Crusade Against the Mooslims. In all the time his stinky TWAT
 has been rolling, it's been rare to encounter anyone who even
 mentions TWAT. For the vast majority of Americans, it's a non-
 issue at best. An unpleasant and controversial topic more likely 
 to lead to loud arguments than enlightenment. It's something 
 they'd prefer not to think about. This ambivalence is what our 
 News Nazis dishonestly sling as 'support'. 

 But that changed this week. It was a government office that I
 periodically drop in on. And it is one of my favorite places
 to visit - the most genteel and genuinely hospitable people
 you'd ever want to meet. All were well-educated and of a mature
 age. I only mention that it was a government office because it 
 seems to be what makes the difference though I'm not sure why. 
 There's no patriotic bunting up or effort to rally the troops.
 I guess because those who aren't military vets are military
 brats who grew up in vagabonding military families. An ordinary
 citizen has a hard time getting hired for a government job. You
 pretty near have to be a vet to crack Sammy's lineup.

 They are very patriotic people. Not in the pushy, loud-mouthed
 sense of the VFW Hall drunks, but in a far quieter way. Oddly,
 they don't assume everyone possesses their 'faith'. They don't
 foist it on others. Truely the nature of their patriotism is 
 closer to religious than secular: it lives in a profoundly deep 
 place in their heart. It's not up for debate and is utterly 
 impervious to rational/analytical discourse. It is not a matter
 of the brain. You will not sway them with arguments. It would
 be a waste of time to even try. 

 It was eerie listening to these gentle, decent people talk about 
 the war. It was like a game for them: we unquestionably are the 
 Good Guys and the rest of the entire world was the Bad Guys. Yes, 
 they see the ENTIRE WORLD as their enemy, not just Saddam or the 
 Muslims. Advances by American troops were cause for celebration;
 bad news was simply ignored and got no further mention. They are 
 the pentultimate American Optomists - this is the way they also 
 treat bad stock-market or baseball news. It is quickly shunted 
 out of sight and out of mind.

 Only once did they mention foreign criticism and those against 
 the war. The depth of their distaste for such people was in sharp 
 contrast to their normal gentility. The pain and sense of betrayal 
 they felt from such dissent was actually personal. It was as if
 it were directed at them. I got the feeling that they wouldn't 
 be at all upset if all Peaceniks were taken out and shot. And if
 one of those B-52 strayed over to Europe and blew the hell out  
 of Paris, they would merely find it amusing. Many of them have
 been to Paris. They would miss it, but not a great deal. 

 None of them have been to Baghdad. They never once even mentioned
 the Iraqis. It was always "Saddam this...", "Saddam...that". It
 was like there were no people in Iraq. Just Saddam and his army.

 Strangest of all was their attitude towards President Yellowbelly.
 A year or so ago they were laughing at him. It was fair game to
 openly mock and ridicule him. Not any more. He is close to being
 venerated. Something happened in the interim and they have now
 accepted him as their leader. They've given him their hearts. I
 suspect this is strictly a war-time thing but I'm not sure.

 I, of course, didn't say I was against the war. They didn't ask
 and, being a guest, I'm old-fashioned enough to behave myself.
 I think that because I didn't voluntarily say something supportive 
 that they suspected I had my doubts so they didn't push it. They 
 are very careful to avoid confrontation of any sort. So they 
 weren't even vaguely curious as to what my doubts might be. Not 
 at all. I'm more of an observer than a preacher by nature anyways.
 I was glad they didn't ask. It would have made things awkward.

 These people are a minority. An opinion I think they would likely
 take no small pride in. They seem to see themselves as a patriotic 
 'elite' of sorts. Just a little more American than everybody else. 
 A common attitude amongst ex-military types. Our military institutions 
 nuture it. Few people I run into have their xenophobic paranoia 
 about auslanders. Fewer yet have their unquestioned loyalty. In 
 fact both characteristics seem almost radically un-American. We 
 are pissers and moaners by nature, not passive Zombies. And most 
 of us are convinced the grass is always greener on the other side 
 of the fence. It's reassuring to think that these nice people are 
 freaks. I sure hope that's true.

 BOYCOTT AMERICA...

 As quickly as it formed and impressive as its numbers have been, 
 the anti-war movement has been highly ignorable to date. President 
 Yellowbelly ignores them, our Congressional Whores ignore them,
 politicians around the world ignore them as do the world's News
 Nazis. The Official Apparatus mocks, belittles and spits on them. 
 They failed to stop Yeller stinky TWAT in Iraq and have been 
 flopping around aimlessly since it started. All this despite 
 the fact that international polls universally indicate that 80-90% 
 of humanity is against this war. Peaceniks are truely an oppressed 
 massive majority.

 When you talk to a thug, you need a Big Stick. They don't listen
 to anybody who isn't capable of at least seriously implying that
 they have the means to inflict major physical pain. Far as Mr. 
 Thug is concerned, if you got no stick to threaten him with, he 
 can safely ignore your existence and continue his thuggery. You're 
 nothing to worry about. You can't hurt him.

 Now it looks like the Euro and Canuk Moo-Moos may have found their 
 Big Stick. In the past week or so a number of boycott campaigns 
 have rapidly formed that are targetting American companies and 
 products - Starbucks, Microsoft, McDonalds, Boeing, Coca-Cola, 
 as well as many lesser fish. Ask for a Coke in a Munich/Bonn/Koehn
 bar and they'll tell you it's no longer available due the the
 political situation. While it's still Early Times, the public 
 response has been highly enthusiastic. People really seem to like 
 the idea. It gives that 80-90% majority an effective, non-violent, 
 largely anonymous way to tell Uncle Sammy to shove his war up his 
 ass sideways. It lets him know that if he wants to ignore world 
 opinion,it's going to cost him. The concept is catching on like 
 wildfire. 

  www.consumers-against-war.de
  www.adbusters.org

 Needless to say, it's far easier for the world to target the
 U.S.A. than it is for America to target the world. Given our
 international dependancy and the sorry state of our economy, 
 we are especially vulnerable right now. Wouldn't take much to 
 inflict considerable pain if not damage.

 Of all the anti-war strategies that have emerged, I like the
 potential this one has. It looks like a winner. Peaceniks may
 not have any mainstream political clout but they do have money.
 Some of them have a LOT of money. Boycotts are as old as the
 hills. Conducted by a central body, they are vulnerable to our
 corrupt judicial system. But conducted via an informational
 webpage with people being encouraged to give free reign to
 their creativity, well...the sky's the limit. Finding suitable
 victims would be easy: just watch TV, listen to the radio, read
 the paper and note who sponsors our News Nazis spew. Pick one
 out and nail the bastard. Be sure to tell them KING/KIRO/KISS/
 Seattle-Times sent you. Grab them by the financial short-hairs
 and their corporate hearts/minds/wallets will follow.

 TRICKY RICKY PEARLE...

 We found out this week that Richard Pearle, now former Chairman
 of the Defense Planning Board, ain't one of the Big Ass White
 Boys. He's just a Little Ass White Boy. He is a Jew, afterall.
 Rummy, Ashcroft, Dickhead Cheney and Yeller ain't gonna let no 
 pushy Heebs horn in on their comfy little Aryan Christian Prayer 
 Klub. Despite what Pat Buchanan says, the Israel-First Gestapo 
 aren't calling the shots. Just the reverse. The Big Ass White 
 Boys are playing them for suckers too, just like all the rest. 
 As long as they keep killing little brown Mooslems, select 
 individuals can have a small piece of the action. 

 As with his previous appearances in High Office, Tricky Ricky 
 got caught do'n what an honest person would never dream of doing. 
 First time he unexpectedly popped-up on an FBI wiretap passing 
 Top Secret info to the Israeli embassy. Pretty much the same
 thing Jonathon Pollard got life in prison for. The FBI was given 
 a stern warning and told never to tape Tricky's conversations again.
 This time he got caught shaking-down foreigners for non-terrorist 
 status if they threw his company some business. But don't imagine 
 he's gone and forgotten. He's still there and still on the payroll. 

.........................................................................

 "The enemy we're fighting is different from the one we war-gamed
                             against."

                    - General William Wallace -
                  Senior Ground Commander in Iraq
 DOH!
.........................................................................

                        'OL YELLER'S TWAT
                 (aka The War Against Terrorism)

 Geez! This was supposed to be the easy part. The World's Biggest 
 Asshole was supposed to be sitting pretty in the bombed-out wreck 
 of Baghdad by now, passing out Hershey bars to adoring Iraqis 
 grateful for their liberation while the boys sniffed around for
 some of that exotic Mooslem Poontang. Instead, Uncle Sammy's 
 thugs are getting a sharp stick shoved increasingly further up 
 their asses as the Iraqis refuse to roll-over and have instead
 hunkered down for a long, drawn-out, bloody fight.

 America is not invincible. Just ask the Vietnamese. They didn't
 have a single aircraft or tank when we first kicked in their
 door. They were far poorer and less militarily endowed than 
 the Iraqis, yet they pulled off the military upset victory
 of the century when they sent Uncle Sammy packing. They won
 simply because they're better people than we are. All we had
 was our greed and our military gizmos while they had heart,
 soul and a suicidal desire to be independant. That's why we're 
 going to lose in Iraq. It's deja-vu all over again.

 Not only is Yeller's stinky TWAT illegal and immoral, it's run
 by imbeciles who apparently have little idea what they're doing.
 Going into this thing without even a recent asessment of Iraq's
 military by our DoD and no CIA analysis was a stupid move more 
 worthy of General Homer Simpson than General Franks. The lack 
 of planning and preparation are obvious, as is the constant 
 political interference and showboat posturing for the Media. All 
 the patriotic whinners who are so in love with Our Troops don't 
 seem to mind the simple fact that the Pentagoon and White House
 cynically sent them into Iraq under-staffed, under-equipped and 
 under-budgeted. Duh! Some patriots eh.

 Phony advances, phony new fronts, magically disappearing POWs and
 fantasy BBC victories may impress the True Believers amongst our
 Rubes and Jaspers, but it ain't impressing the Iraqis. We've
 failed to take a single city, we're stalled out in the middle of
 the desert, our Luftwaffe's Blitzkrieg (aka Shock & Awe) was
 a total failure and Saddam is not only still running the show, 
 every day that passes he gets stronger.

 Adding to his strength is our assinine strategy of bombing the
 civilians of Iraq. Apparently many Iraqis, while unwilling
 to aid our fight, were prepared to quietly sit at home and 
 await the dethroning of Saddam to see if we could come up
 with something better. They were willing to believe our fight 
 was with their leadership, not them. And they did believe it 
 right up until the moment the bombs and bullets got aimed at 
 them. They've responded accordingly. They now realize that 
 they are indeed the target and that this is indeed an invasion 
 not a liberation. Rationally enough, they are now increasingly 
 turning to Saddam to save their bacon. We've turned their
 ambivalence towards Saddam into an open embrace of him. Doh!

 At least one Marine has had a bellyfull and went AWOL. The
 Marines mine-sweeping Atlantic bottlenose dolphin "Takoma"
 split first time they put him in the water. He was supposed
 to clear the way for HMS Galahad. That was 48-hours ago
 and nobody's heard anything from him since. Which puts him 
 about 100 IQ points above his Jarhead handlers. So long and 
 thanks for the fish...suckers.

 BTW - where in the hell are the Pollocks, Wops, Czechs and
 Spaniards? Are the Aussies still back at the bar in Kuwait?
 Yeller's phony/baloney coalition is so useless he's forced
 to dip further into his own reserves for relief. Dang! We
 ain't even to Baghdad yet and already he's running out of
 bodies. Those reserves aren't battle-ready. Most of them
 aren't even trained for a conflict like this. They'll get
 their asses kicked. More ominously yet, he's clearly going
 to have to go to a military draft before this thing is
 over. Oh boy. That's going to be one helluva can of worms.

 What's gonna happen when we get to Baghdad? We will, if we 
 have to bomb our way in. If we can't even handle the simple, 
 straight-forward stuff, it's a cinch we won't be able to 
 handle the far more complex task of trying to occupy a city 
 full of hostile locals. We failed in Somalia. And those were 
 irregulars - little more than local gangs. Saddam's boys are 
 not only better trained and equipped than the Somali warlords
 were, they'll also have an enormous local-knowledge advantage
 as well as a population that we've now turned to their favor.

 I want to see us lose Bigtime. Saddam is nothing. Guys like 
 him and President Yellowbelly are a dime a dozen. The world 
 is full of them. Always has been, always will be. I want to 
 see us lose simply because unless we do, we won't learn to 
 mind our own goddam business. We seem to be incapable of 
 common-sense and reason. Unless we get our butts kicked we'll
 continue to have our insane delusions about Empire. We're too
 stupid to understand anything less than thousands of body-bags
 filled with young American kids. Well...what the hell. If
 that's your price then I say fill 'em up. Whatever it takes.

 One thing's for sure - the Terrorist Threat, like Yeller's TWAT,
 is pure bullshit. That's as plain as the nose on your face.
 
..........................................................................

                    -  MONDO VATICANO -

 The fascinating machination of Mondo Vaticano ground on this week.
 Cardinal Dulles, Cardinal "Ratso" Ratzinger and the rest of the
 Curia fascisti have slipped quietly back into the shadows. The 
 'liberals' have obviously been given a rare green-light to do 
 their Peace Thang. And as long as you don't look further back
 than the past couple weeks, you won't realze the Vatican had 
 its lips firmly suctioned to Uncle Sammy butt during the entire
 year-long run up to the Iraq War.

 Bishops don't get arrested without authorization, like Bishop Tom 
 Gumbleton of Detroit did this week, unless the Curia has personally 
 promised to go his bail. It is an extremely rare event and a pretty 
 clear indication that the Curia Queens feel that President Yellowbelly 
 schnookered them bad on Iraq. Bishop Tom got collared, along with 
 two Nobel lauriates and a Methodist bishop out front of the White 
 House while protesting Yeller's stinky TWAT operation in Iraq. 

 But just so you don't get the idea that the Vatican's left hand
 knows what the right hand is doing...

 Fr. Gary Mercure at Sacred Heart got into hot water with his parish's 
 Nazis when he told them in his homily that the War against Iraq 
 was wrong. The usual crew of right-wing wackos got up and goose-
 stepped out the door whinning about Fr. Gary being 'outta line'. 
 Apparently there is some part of "Do Not Kill" that they don't 
 understand. So far no condemnation and threat of excommunication
 from Pope Bill at the Catholic Fascist League. He's get'n slow 
 in his old age eh.

 Then there was Gary Tankard, a teacher at Bergen Catholic High
 School in New Jersey. Like a number of other teachers, he wore
 a red/white/blue button that said "War Is Not The Answer". Unlike
 the others, he refused to take his off when ordered to by the 
 principal of the school. He quit instead. The principle, a fat
 Wop who apparently hasn't heard that the Vatican opposes the
 war, said this anti-war stuff is all well and good but wearing
 buttons is taking it too far. Somebody want to tell this jerk
 he's full of crap?

 Finally there's that Austrian who flew into St. Peter's Square
 this week in a motorized hang-glider trailing an anti-war banner.
 Rather than embrace him as a Fellow Traveller, the "anti-war" 
 Vatican has him locked up and is pondering whether or not to 
 hand him over to the Goombahs on the Italian side of the Vatican 
 border for violating Italian airspace. He's lucky Cardinal "Ratso" 
 Ratzinger didn't nail him with that anti-aircraft battery he's 
 got on his roof. Ratso ain't anti-war. He LOVES wars.

                             +

 The ArchBishop of Hamburg, Germany, got his shorts in a knot
 this week. No, he isn't pissed off about the war. He probably
 doesn't even know there's one going on. He's pissed off about
 ice-cream. Now there's a man with perspective eh.

 The Anglo-Dutch company Unilever's "Magnum" ice-cream subsidiary
 came out with a new line of ice-creams for the Euro market, 
 named after the Seven Deadly Sins. "Lust" was first out the 
 gate. It's got a strawberry coating on the outside. I'm sure
 there's a connection between strawberries and lust but I'm
 too old to remember what it is. Anyways, the Hamburg ArchBishop
 dashed off a press-release condemning the new line as just a
 cheap attempt by Unilever to cash in on German's sinfulness.
 It was like a marking-department's dream come true: a product
 so sinful a bishop condemned it. No word if the bishop is 
 getting a cut under-the-table for all the free advertising
 he's giving the ice-cream people. 

 They've been test-marketing the Seven Deadly Sins ice-creams
 in Australia and South Africa. Reportedly "Vanity" is the hot 
 seller. "Gluttony" is next up for the Euros. It's got a
 chocolate-nut covering. Hmmmm. Sounds sinfully interesting.

                          +

 Every year about this time I get out my copy of Sholem Asch's
 "The Nazarene". While Lent culminates in the Passion, most of
 it is taken up with a rememberance of Christ's mission amongst
 the Jews. This book tells the story of that mission in a unique 
 and fascinating way. It not only nicely fills out the Jewish
 environment Christ lived and worked in, it also relates much 
 of the history of that time. And it is full of an intelligent
 Jew's fascination with the mysterious figure of Christ. It is,
 in fact, his attempt to make sense of it all.

 He organized it into three 'books' each of which was narrated 
 by a different individual. Book One is related to a young
 Jewish scholar by the the Roman centurion Cornelius, who has 
 reincarnated as a nasty, deeply anti-semitic old vendor of 
 stolen archeological artifacts. Book Two is supposed to be the 
 translation of a fragment of a long-lost Gospel - the Gospel of 
 Judas of Iscariot! Book Three is the voice of Joseph, a young 
 Jerusalem Temple student of Rabbe Nicodemus in Christ's time.

 Asch was a Jew. Not a Jew For Jesus - but a practicing, faithful
 Jew. In fact he wrote strictly in Yiddish. Because of this book
 and his many others on Christian themes, he was and largely
 remains anethma to many Jews. The screaming virulence of his
 Hebrew critics is really quite remakable. It drips with deep
 hatred. Not to be outdone, many Christians consider Sholom's
 writings to be also anethma. They consider him a Jew who is
 trying to 'kidnap' Jesus and turn him into a Jew. He was, as
 a matter of Gospel fact, a Jew, but they let that one slide.
 In short, Sholem got it from both ends. Reportedly he couldn't
 have cared less. His books sold well. They deserved to.

 There are many reasons why I like this book. Because he was
 so knowlegable about Jewish traditions and the history of that
 time, his Christ has an extraordinary integrity to Him. He
 feels Real and rings true both historically and spirtually. 
 Rather than try to indulge in arcane theories about the nature 
 of Christ, Sholem instead tries to recreate how such a Jew would 
 likely have been received by His own people. How he would have 
 been understood.  Who would likely have been friendly towards
 Him, who would have felt most threatened by Him but mostly,
 how His peculiar and strange message would have been received.

 I don't think he actually came out and said it, but I suspect
 Sholem felt that Christ was indeed a Messiah. But not the
 promised Messiah the Jews have been waiting for. Rather, He
 was a Messiah to the Gentiles. One who deeply valued both the 
 people and Law of the Old Covenant but wasn't for them. Just
 a hint: I think Rebbe Nicodemus in the book was the voice of 
 Sholem's own thoughts, doubts and speculations on the matter.

 I've seen it in Barnes & Nobel as well Border's so it must
 still be in-print. There are always plenty of used copies 
 around. It's an old book. A lovely, poetic old book.

 "The Nazarene - A Novel Based On the Life of Christ"
 Sholem Asch
 Translated by Maurice Samuel
 G.P. Putnam & Sons, New York, 1939

 abebooks.com
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
 ask. You want to make money off it, gimme some first.
 I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
 I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
 on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
 it into Lutefisk.
~----------------------------------------------------
 MAIL:    tofoggymoment@yahoo.com
 ARCHIVE: https://www.angelfire.com/nb/afm
------------------------------------------------------