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                         Another Foggy Moment

      These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
      of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
      Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
      cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
      another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.

                     THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG

         ------------------------------------------------
         WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
         If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
         punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
         the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
         Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
         89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
         -------------------------------------------------

                             - 193 -

 During an early-morning jaunt along the Ship Canal near the Montlake
 Bridge, I saw something rather unusual. A small island was floating
 right down the middle of Montalke Cut. Complete with tall cat-tails 
 and grass. Only about six or seven feet in diameter, it was heading 
 west for Lake Union at a leisurely pace. I thought at first that the 
 dim semi-twilight darkness was playing tricks on my eyes. It must have 
 broken off in the wetlands around Union Bay and somehow got pulled 
 in by the canal's flow. Or maybe it just decided to move to Ellliot 
 Bay for the summer. Islands get restless too just like everyone else.

 The Yoshinos are still blooming to beat the band though the earliest
 of them to bloom has begun to turn green with leaves. They might last
 another week. Even as the daffodils are withering away the Iris' and
 tulips are emerging. I got a small cluser of gigantic Easter Lillies 
 along my usual route. One of them has fully opened while four others
 are about to soon. The baby salmon in the pool are becoming a bit
 easier to spot. A few of them are leaping outta the water regularly
 now too. The mystery birds in the bamboo grove continue to sing sweet
 lullabies to them. And as the bigger trees begin to sprout leaves, the
 ospreys at the east end of the canal are starting to look for another
 spot to sleep in. Hard enough to balance up there with webbed feet
 without having to guess where the branches are for all the leaves.
 They disappeared from there last spring at Regatta time, not to 
 reappear until the fall after the leaves dropped.
 
 LINUX: IT AIN'T FUN ANYMORE...

 I've used Linux almost exclusively for ten years now. There simply
 is no comparison between Microsoft's stuff and UNIX. It's comparing
 a toy to a real tool. That's why I flushed all my M$ crapola down
 the toilet a year after installing Linux. Whenever I need to use 
 Windoze I can easily pick up what I need to know in a few minutes
 of diddling around. They could cut 99% of the code out and nobody
 would even notice it was gone - nothing but useless, pretty fluff. 
 I wouldn't code for it if you paid me twice the going rate. The 
 learning-curve for UNIX is very steep fer sure but you get 
 something Real back for your effort instead of more of Uncle 
 Billy's goofy Vaporware.

 But recently helping a friend iron out a few installation problems
 with his new, first-time Linux system, I was shocked at what Linux 
 has become. I've been recompiling kernels all along and haven't 
 bothered with any of the Distros (Redhat, Slackware, SUSE, etc.). 
 I didn't realize what I was missing.

 This guy had a distro. No point in mentioning the name - they all 
 seem to equally suck nowadays. He was convinced that his was The 
 True Linux. He honestly believed it was fundamentally different 
 from all other Linices. "Dude.", I sez, "The only thing Linux about
 your set-up is the kernel and your 2.4.18 is exactly the same as
 the 2.4.18 I compiled on mine and the one that's in every other 
 2.4.18 Distro. The rest is virtually all GNU stuff, which of course 
 is neither UNIX nor Linux. The only difference between distros is 
 what they compile into the kernel and where they stick the details 
 of the GNU stuff." He still thinks I'm just BSing him. Nobody 
 likes finding out they got schnookered eh.

 As if the Distro Scam isn't bad enough, what in the hell have they
 done to my baby!? Linux has turned into a huge, bloated Fat Lady.
 Not only is it dripping with code blubber it's bound head to foot
 with a vast horde of library-strings. For every program you grab
 you've gotta grab 10 or 20 must-have libraries or the damn thing
 refuses to work. And of course most of the libs are obscure and
 clever little ditties the author whipped up himself - stuff for
 which the rest of the world has no use. It's his little secret
 where on the Net they're stashed.

 Config files are all beginning to rival the legendary Sendmail 
 config for pure, unadulterated obfuscation. Newbies are unable to 
 decipher much beyond the basics and often not even that much. They 
 got enough to deal with without having to wrestle with some lazy 
 Code Warrior's kruft.

 X Windows is still the familiar conundrum it always has been. 
 One of the first things this guy said was, "How come Windoze
 can figure out what video card I've got and Linux can't?". 
 The only reply that came immediately to mind was, "I dunno.
 I guess Linus is too busy wanking himself off in Silicon 
 Valley to properly look after his baby." He don't know Linus
 isn't connected to X Windows. Sometimes you can use ignorance
 to your advantage to slip in a Cheap Shot.

 The up-shot of all this is: I'm now convinced LInux will never
 be the Everyman's O/S so many Open Sourcers dream of it becoming.
 It's not fun anymore for new people. It's just one headache
 after another. A royal pain in the ass. For evey person I know
 whose tried Linux for the first time and liked it, I know 10
 who tried it, got pissed off, felt misled and swore they'd never 
 go near it again. That's promoting Open Source? Nah. That's 
 shooting yourself in the foot. The worst of it is, Linux is
 dragging GNU down with it. The newbies think it's all one.

 UNIX is not only powerful, it's fun. It's a vast, intricate 
 puzzle full of subtle nuances and thrilling adventures. One
 that leads into many other fascinating and intriguing puzzles.  
 And just when you think you've got a handle on it, it evolves 
 some new trick to mystify you. To turn it into a headache is 
 high crime. Shame on those who do such things. The greedy 
 bastards oughta be horse-whipped.

 My friend? It only took a couple hours of screwing around to
 get everything up and running properly. While I hesitate to
 call myself any kind of expert, I think I have induced just
 about every un-natural act imaginable on Linux with all my
 goofs and screwups over the years. I'm kind of a Back-Door
 expert eh.

 BACK ON THE HOME FRONT...

 While everyone's distracted by our half-assed attempt to wage 
 war, things back on the homefront ain't look'n so hot. Stocks 
 are still grossly over-priced as they run P/Es averaging over 
 30. There are actually morons out there paying $30 for a stock 
 that only generates $1 or earnings! I wish I could find a couple 
 of those guys. I'd love to trade them all my one's for their 
 twentys. Of course, the idiots are expecting the rest of us to 
 bale them out when, as will inevitably happen, they can't make 
 the payments on their suburban particle-board palaces and SUVs. 
 It's the least we owe the Lusers eh.

 We're slipping inexorably into recession for the second time in
 President Yellowbelly's short and remarkably disasterous reign.
 Last time, 2001, we lost 2,000,000 jobs despite the Fed blowing
 out interest rates to stimulate the economy. That option won't 
 be available this time. Best Al can do is drop them to 0% like 
 the Nips did. To no noticeable effect, I might add. That horse 
 is dead, mate. Don't worry about inflation. Sure energy expenses
 are up 22%, medical costs 4.5% and transportation costs 7.1% but
 that kind of stuff is just frilly luxuries. It don't mean nuthin.

 So many people have lost their jobs that they ain't buying cars,
 houses or much of anything else anymore. Home ReFis shot up to
 astronomical levels. For every person who ReFied in 1990, nearly
 100 did last year. Last year the schmucks used the money to buy 
 the phatest SUV and biggest wide-screen TV they could find. This 
 year they're using it to feed themselves after losing their jobs. 
 Many have had to go back for a second dose. It pumped something 
 like $80 BilllionBucks into the economy while rocketing personal
 debut to never-before-seen heights. The War put a temporary halt 
 to that but they're still outta work, still broke and Mr. 
 Greenspan's Interest-o-Meter hasn't gone All Balls yet, so you 
 can bet they'll be back. It's not like they got a choice.

 They better step on it. Foreclosures and personal bankrupcy claims 
 are going through the roof, setting new historical records. The Repo 
 Man and the banks are working overtime scooping all those houses and
 newly acquired Stuff back up and hauling it away. It represents about 
 the only 'growth industry' we got left these days.

 And if you've worked your ass off for the last 20-30 years thinking 
 you were going to be able to kick back and enjoy life on your pension,
 think again. After our Congressional Whores kindly allowed big
 corporations to defer paying into their pension plans during Boom
 Times, now that the bills are coming due and it ain't Boom Times
 no more, they can't afford to pay in. The choice is between their
 survival and yours. You lose. State employees are getting hit the
 worst. Many states no longer have sufficent funds to cover their
 pension obligations. Hardly a day goes by now without somebody's
 pension evaporating. Throw in the 401(k) virtual-pensions that went
 up in smoke with the stock market and you're looking at a lot of
 royally screwed individuals. Don't ask Uncle Sammy for help. He's
 got Evil Mooslem Booger Men to fight. 

 Property values have now joined the crowd as they've begun to slip. 
 Property can't lose value over the long-haul? Yeah sure. Tell it to 
 the Nips. Theirs has lost 50% of its value over the last 10 years. 
 And they're STILL dropping. Dang. Just when buying a second house 
 has become the Yuppie's haven-du-jour for their Loot, values are 
 beginning to drop. If you want to see where the next Luser Investment 
 is, just follow the SUVs.

 While the Euros are also slipping into recession, they got money 
 in the bank. Unlike us, they haven't been spending $1.20 for every
 $1.00 they've earned.  They've been saving their money and keeping
 those credit-cards on a tight leash. With their nesteggs they got 
 a cushion against the Hard Times that are upon us. We don't. 

 What happens when there aren't any jobs, everybody's in debt up 
 to their hairlines, they got nothing in their savings-account 
 and they got no money to pay off their mortgages/bills, let alone 
 spend on luxuries like food and clothing? Unless Uncle Sammy 
 starts drafting 40 and 50-year olds for his TWAT, there are 
 going to be a whole lotta hungry homeless people just standing 
 around with nothing to do. "Idle hands are the Devil's workshop",
 my Granny used to say. Better save a few bucks for a Luger and 
 some ammo - it might come in handy.

 Uncle Sammy's seems oblivious to all this. He's spending money
 hand over fist on bogus anti-terrorist wars, freebies and bailouts
 for his rich buddies even as he continues to pump up his bloated 
 bureaucracy. No problemo. Whenever he needs more he just fires up 
 the printing presses and runs off a few hundred billion more Bucks. 
 He then tries to sell off the extra debt in T-Bills. The Euros used 
 to scoop up a sizeable chunk. Not anymore since Sammy went into
 Asshole Mode. Our dollar is rapidly becoming next to worthless - 
 fading slowly like the setting sun. Too small to even use as
 toilet paper.
 
 The states aren't oblivious to it all. They can't afford to be.
 Hell, they can't afford anything any more. Not allowed to just
 print up more money whenever they need more, they're going broke.
 The already existing Black Market that employs one out of every
 three working people Los Angeles, while screwing the state of 
 California out of Billions and Billions of tax dollars needless
 to say, is about to get a major boost when taxes go even higher. 
 Tim Leary's old LSD mantra - "Turn on, tune in, drop out" - is 
 taking on a whole new meaning in the new millenia. Everybody's 
 going to be diving 'under the table' to avoid bureaucratic thugs 
 and oppressive taxation. It's not like The System has anything
 to offer them anymore.

 Listening to that fat Wop who's our Ambassador to Canada threaten
 them with economic reprisals for their reluctance to join in
 on Iraq is to laugh. Paisan! America's gonna be broke in another
 year. Be nice to those people. We'll be begging them for spare 
 change. 

.........................................................................

                            PACIFICA
 
 With Uncle Sammy going off the deep end and America rolling downhill 
 like a snowball headed for Hell, maybe this would be a good time to 
 rethink our relationship.

 French President Chirac is right: America's yesterday's news. It's
 soon to be history. The Iraq War has the same smell about it that
 Britain's Boer War did - the final wheezing gasp of a rotting, corrupt
 has-been Empire. Our Constitution is dead, the Bill of Rights has 
 been thrown in the dumpster and rule of Common Law has ceased. We 
 have in fact become a defacto Fascist state complete with secret 
 courts, secret prisons and secret police. A small group of extremely 
 wealthy and powerful men have illegally taken over our nation and 
 have begun to use it as a platform from which to plunder both us 
 and the world for their own personal enrichment. The Dream of liberty
 and freedom so many thousands of Americans fought and died for over
 the centuries, was casually tossed aside by their Presidental flunky 
 with the full complicity of our Congressional Whores without even
 bothering to ask us if we mind. All justified by an imaginary 
 terrorist threat.

 The American Dream is dead. The Social Contract under which we've 
 existed for over two centuries has been unilaterally declared null 
 and void. Our consent was neither solicted nor garnered. We can hang 
 around and sink into the abyss with the rest of America or we can 
 begin thinking of building something better. Something true to the
 original Dream.

 The Northwest is far from helplessly dependant. We have enormous 
 natural resources, a modern transportation/communications infra-
 structure that would be the envy of many developed countries, a
 large/diverse/cosmopolitan population and a culture far more open
 and progressive than most of America. With the mountains to the east, 
 we have a natural defensive barrier allowing us to control what comes 
 in and goes out in that direction. With the Canadian and American
 prairies immediately adjacent - both with long-established commercial
 ties to our Pacific ports - as well as SoCal and its extensive 
 agricultural production close at hand, plus the vast potential of 
 our coastal off-shore fisheries, we could be self-sustaining if
 we played our cards right.

 About 10 years ago many Northwest companies, as well as citizensm were 
 seriously talking about Washington state joining with B.C. (Canada), 
 Oregon and NoCal to form an independant nation. There were many articles, 
 even in mainstream regional business magazines, talking the idea up. 
 Then *POOF*, it suddenly all disappeared, like magic. It obviously 
 was making all the right people nervous.

 Many small countries do quite well in today's international economy.
 Switzerland, Singapore, Hong Kong (it did anyways) come immediately 
 to mind. By not being a military threat and offering something of 
 value to their neighbors, they don't need large militaries nor do 
 they live under constant threat of invasion. It's only arrogant 
 little bastards like Kuwait that have constant problems and require 
 constant outside intervention to keep them afloat. 

 It's hardly necessary or desireable to poke Uncle Sammy in the eye. 
 It would be far more desireable to form a symbiotic relationship with 
 him - we scratch his back, he scratches ours. American values imbue
 our traditions and culture. Disowning them would be culutural suicide. 
 Nothing personal, but we'd just like to cut our own rug. We're all
 grown up and ready to move out of the family homestead, go out into
 the world and do our own thing. America was a nice idea but it just 
 didn't work. No point in crying over spilt milk. You catch my drift.

 Under the circumstances it wouldn't be a good idea to go Cold 
 Turkey and just up and declare ourselves independant. It would be
 very self-defeating. Uncle Sammy would feel deeply threatened and
 react accordingly. Our economy would almost certainly go immediately
 into the toilet. It would be far better to gradually transition 
 ourselves to independance. By pulling together regionally and speaking 
 with a single voice instead of many voices, we could more forcefully 
 exert our regional aggenda and learn to think independantly. De-facto 
 'treaties' between the partners could be enacted to smooth the way to 
 partnership under one flag. 'Treaties' that subtely transcend existing 
 national ties and redefine them in ways favorable to our independance. 
 In this fashion Pacifica could organically and naturally grow out of 
 the existing Canadian and American 'soil'. 
  
 British Columbia has long been little more than a colony of eastern
 Canada. It has little to no clout in Ottawa and is routinely brushed
 aside when matters of the national aggenda are decided. Ontario and
 Quebec call ALL the shots. A vast and still largely wild land, it
 has enormous natural resources. A modern and highly cosmopolitan
 society, it has often led many of its American neighbors when it
 comes to social innovation. It's people are technologically savy,
 culturally vibrant and have a highly international perspective. As
 a partner in Pacifica, they would have considerably more say and
 far better chance to develop their potential than they ever would
 as part of Canada. Canada is, in fact, a dead-end for them. Pacifica,
 with its strong Northwest ties, offers them a far better future and
 a good alternative to the present gradual assimilation into the
 American nightmare.

 We in the Northwest think differently from the rest of America. 
 Our traditions are different and our perspective on the world is
 much different. We don't have the great obscene racial ghettos 
 they have. We value people more highly than they do. We tend to 
 relate more to Asia than Europe for both commerce and cultural 
 inspiration. We didn't slaughter off the Original People who have
 lived here for thousands of years. Their influence is seen and
 strongly felt in how we relate to this place. We take great pride 
 in our mountains and natural wonders. We even find solace in our 
 rain. We are different from them. We have different dreams and 
 different goals. 

 Given the recent turn of events, I think its time we excerted 
 our difference and moved to both protect and enshrine it. It's 
 time we said goodbye to America.
.........................................................................

 "If you saw your kid getting into a car with a drunk driver would 
  you stand by the side of the road and salute? Or would you do 
  everything in your power to stop the car?"

                    - Charlie Richardson -
                "Military Families Speak Out"
       anti-war father of a 25-year old Marine in Iraq

.........................................................................

                      'OL YELLER'S TWAT
               (aka The War Against Terrorism)

 General Powell, our Secretary of State and the Official White 
 House Shoeshine Boy, got booed off the stage this week at the 
 annual America-Israel Bagmen's hoedown in The Other Washington.
 Pearle, Wolfowitz and the rest of the Likud "Heebs For Hitler" 
 don't care much for Schwartzes even if they are High Yellow
 Jamaicans. Show the schmuck a little sympathy willya. He's
 publically prostituted himself for our Executive Trailer Trash,
 lied right to the Pope's face and generally made an ass of 
 himself, destroying his credibility and whatever political 
 future he many have had. Nobody will touch him with a ten-foot 
 pole now. He's toast. The lying Chump's just run'n out the 
 clock to permanent obscurity.

 As The World's Biggest Asshole prepared for his Baghdad Or Bust
 Campaign earlier in the week, the Iraqis opened a Third Front in 
 Washington, DC. Well, actually Saddam didn't have to lift a finger; 
 the Pentagoon Generals did all the work for him. A fire-fight broke 
 out between "Rummy's Bitches" (the Joint Chiefs staff + General 
 Tommy "The Toady" Franks), and pretty much everybody else, as they 
 try to cover their flabby bureacratic asses over screwing the pooch 
 in Iraq. With Sy Hersh handling the PR, the Generals and Admirals 
 are blaming Rummy & his Bitches for the mess. And they, in turn, 
 are blaming their accusatory whinners and Cry Babies for it. 
 Finger pointing is all the rage on the Beltway.

 We're finding out the hard way that it does little good to have
 the Most Sophisticated Killing Machine in Human History if you 
 got hillbilly retards at the controls. It loses a lot of its 
 punch. We're discovering our military juggernaut isn't nearly as 
 formidible as we imagined. As one of our Generals said recently
 of the Iraqis, "They ain't afraid of us! Don't that beat all?" 
 Fact is, there isn't a General anywheres in the world who isn't 
 now convinced we're highly take-able. Eliminate our air power
 and watch them colors run. Aside from the drunks down at the 
 VFW hall, not much of anyone's been impressed.

 It's taken Our Thugs three weeks instead of the predicted three 
 days to work their way to Baghdad. Actually our Luftwaffe bombed 
 their way in for them. If Yeller's Hillbillys had to fight their 
 way into Baghdad on their own, they'd still be back at the Kuwait 
 border trying to get past the Iraqi customs agents. Bobbing and 
 weaving their way north, our courageous warriors ran from every 
 fight the Iraqis gave them. They failed to take a single town/
 village/city on the way. The premium seemed to be on getting
 to Baghdad as quickly as possible regardless of the consequences.
 Politics and Media-Perception are driving their battle-plan, not
 military imperatives. 

 Unlike President Yellowbelly on 9/11, Saddam hasn't high-tailed 
 it outta town leaving his nation leaderless in its moment of 
 greatest need. He may be a thug but he's no chickenshit hillbilly
 coward and he's no Draft Dodger. If it came down to a fist fight
 between him and Yellowbelly, Yeller wouldn't last two minutes,
 no matter how fast he ran around the ring. Their goon's more
 honorable than ours.

 Why Baghdad? Who knows? Like the rest of 'Ol Yeller's weird war,
 it makes little sense. Iraq has neither threatened nor attacked
 us. They had no role in 9/11 and has no known ties to Muslim 
 extremist groups. In fact the fundamentalists hate Saddam almost
 as much as they hate us. Yellowbelly himself has been a little 
 unfocused about his motivations - one week it's revenge for a 
 supposed threat against his daddy way back when; the next week 
 it's a Christian crusade against the Muslims. Ignoring the 
 American people, virtually all of our allies, the Pope and the 
 United Nations, he then launched his war to liberate an Iraqi 
 people who not only didn't want to be liberated but considered 
 him a hostile invader. These don't appear to be the actions of 
 a sane and sober man. Aside from being illegal and immoral, his 
 war is also highly irrational.

 When the first tanks rolled into downtown Baghdad and their
 commander, Col. Dave Perkins, stuck his head up to deliver a
 victory speech to the liberated Ragheads, they nailed that
 hillbilly REAL good. Even his Mama ain't gonna recognize him
 at the funeral. It nicely illustrates the other-worldliness 
 of our approach to Iraq. It's as though Yeller and his hillbilly
 thugs are Trip'n on drugs. They're burning money like there's
 no tommorow, treating Iraqis as though they aren't quite human,
 and, apparently some of them imagine themselves to be bullet-
 proof. Life has turned into one long Looney Tunes cartoon.
 
 Okay...we're in Baghdad. So what? Saddam is alive and still
 controls virtually the entire country. There have been no
 mass desertions from his army. Their resistance to our invasion
 runs from intense to fanatical. The Iraqi people, far from 
 welcoming us as liberators, clearly hate our guts. Tribal
 farmers are shooting down our helicopters with hunting rifles,
 suicide-bombers are blowing up in our sentries faces and we
 are universally perceived as an enemy. Even the Sunni Muslims 
 of southern Iraq who have been waging guerilla warfare against 
 Saddam for decades see us as no less an enemy than Saddam.
 Meanwhile, thousands of Holy Warriors from throughout the
 region are pouring into Iraq hoping to bag themselves a genuine
 American hillbilly. The notion of our military dumbasses being 
 capable of securing the oilfields and pipelines now seems wildly 
 improbable. They'd be sit'n ducks. It'll be YEARS before we see
 any of that oil.

 Our situation reminds me of a line from a Gordon Lightfoot song:
 "I feel like I'm win'n when I'm lose'n again." Despite the mess, 
 our News Nazis chatter couldn't be more chippper. Spewing a Mighty 
 Mississippi of cynical, misty-eyed patriotic lies, half truths and 
 rigged polls, they've been Gung Ho all the way. With virtually all 
 of our Media now in the hands of a few very conservative and very
 rich Big Boyz with a lot of flags to sell, they're making sure 
 everybody's in a flag-waving mood. Only their opinion gets heard. 
 Everybody else can take a hike. In some places they call it 'brain
 washing'. 

 The one genuinely bright spot for Yeller is the complete lack of 
 any kind of serious obstruction from the Euros or U.N. beyond 
 tongue-clucking and finger wagging. Our Hitler-wannbe is free to
 bang away at whomever he pleases, whenever he pleases without
 having to worry about paying any consequences for his actions.
 Logically enough, he'll likely find that grounds for continuing
 his Crusade against the Evil Mooslems.

 The Pope, the Euros and all the Nice People have comforted them-
 selves with their make-believe notion that we at least went easy
 on Iraq's civilian population. Tell it to the Red Cross. They
 ain't buy'n it. Neither is the Jordanian PM who recently hauled
 our Ambassador in to chew his ass out about all the dead civies 
 left lying all over southern Iraq. Between our intensive use of
 anti-personnel cluster-bombs and the rain of land-mines we've
 been dropping, civilian casualties have been very heavy. I won't
 even mention stuff like that cruise missle that was deliberately
 targeted at that Baghdad market or the Power-Buster bombs that
 left Baghdad's hospitals suddenly in the dark.

 It's hard to believe there aren't more than a few Americans in
 there fighting on the Iraqis side. It's the best fight going
 right now. And who could pass up the chance to bag their limit
 of hillbillies? Hope they nail a few for the Americans who died
 in the WTC towers while our cowardly military traitors stood
 and watched. They still got a lot more body-bags to fill before
 they catch up with us.

..........................................................................

 "Everything you read, swallowed, sucked, admired, proclaimed, refuted,
  defended was made up of hate-ridden myths and grinning masquerades,
  phony to the hilt. The mania for telling lies and believing them is
  as contagious as the itch."

                 - Louis Ferdinand Celine -
                "Journey To the End of Night"
..........................................................................

                    -  MONDO VATICANO -

 Home Girl Sister Jackie Hudson from Bremerton (WA) and two
 other Dominican nuns are becoming a hot item at Denver Federal
 Court where their trial opened on Monday. Anti-war activists have
 been packing the galleries. The three nuns were charged with 
 sabotage and malicious destruction of property when they broke 
 into a Minuteman missle facility in Colorado last October and 
 banged on the nuke-proof silo's lid with hammers while praying 
 for peace. The only property likely damaged was their hammers. 
 And sabotage is a laughable proposition at best. But in our 
 corrupt courts populated as they are by political ass-kisses
 and souless/mindless gray judicial bureaucrats, justice don't
 have much to do with anything. American justice is no longer 
 blind. They've turned her into a whore.

 Sister Carolyn Gilbert summed their case up nicely when she said
 "Our President has asked that weapons of mass-destruction be
 destroyed. I had a duty, a responsibility and a privilege to
 to try and stop a crime, not only under God's law but under
 U.S. and international law." Refusing to be released on bond,
 the nuns have been in jail since they were arrested in October.
 They could face 30 years in the Fed Pen if convicted. They got
 got a real Cracker Jack lawyer - one of the best Mouthpieces
 in the country - defending them pro bono. They aren't getting
 any help whatsoever from the anti-war Vatican. The Pollock
 will dish out millions to protect Pervert Priests but not a
 cent for nuns who put their money where their mouths are.

                             +

 Ain't that cool? While most of the bishops are blubbering about 
 how victims of their pervert priests are just a bunch of phony
 scheisters out to financially skin the Church, guess what? The 
 bishop of the diocese of San Bernadino (CA) up and filed a 
 lawsuit against the Archdiocese of Boston (MA)! It's because
 of Cardinal Bernie "The Pimp" Law's lying to him about the 
 perverted Fr. Paul Shanley when Bernie tried to hide him in 
 California. Does that make the Bishop of San Bernadino a 
 scheister too? Inquiring minds want to know.

                             +

 Steven Funk, a Seattle-born Catholic and member of the US Marine 
 Corp Reserves, becomes the first American service-member to declare 
 consciencous objector status. In a Blue Funk after dropping out of 
 USC in L.A. and only able to find part-time employment, the Marines 
 schnookered him into signing up. They promised to send him back to 
 college. They lied of course, as they often do. They instead sent 
 him to Iraq. Or tried to anyways. Mr. Funk had other ideas. "This 
 war is very immoral", he said, "because of the deception involved 
 by our leaders. It is very hypocritical." Not sure what to do, he 
 went UA to think about it. This week, accompanied by COs from the 
 1991 Gulf War, he put his uniform on and went back to his base to 
 turn himself in. 

 He naturally got zero support from the Vatican's flunkies. Being 
 a good Catholic boy, even while in training he went to Mass ever 
 Sunday. When he began to question what he was involved in, he
 turned to the Marine's Catholic chaplain for spiritual advise. 
 Father told him to give in and don't question authority. "Jesus 
 carried a sword", was his sage counsel. Sheesh! This Nazi prick 
 is a Catholic chaplain?! Unbelieveable! Now we know where the
 bishops are hiding their ecclesiastical garbage: they ship them
 off to the military as chaplains.

 Like Fr. Bob over at the Naval Hospital in Bremerton. Twice he 
 got caught luring young sailors who turned to him for spiritual
 advice into dropping by the rectory. After some edifying chatter
 he'd tell them to strip to their shorts and get up on his table
 for a relaxing massage. Then, rubbing some oil into their supple
 but firm young bodies, he'd climb up there and rape them. The 
 Navy let him walk both times with a slap on the wrist. He is a 
 Commander, afterall. Being an officer has its privileges. Just 
 help yourself to the Dixie Cups. Your fellow officers on the 
 court-martial jury and your officer judge will understand.

 The Marines are gonna come down on this kid like 20-tons of 
 elephant shit. Hopefully somebody will keep an eye on him.

                             +

 Everybody is lining up for a chance to lie to the Vatican's face.
 They seem to get a kick out of schnookering our gullable Curia
 Queens. First it was that theological Nobody from an American
 neo-fascist think-tank slinging his baloney about Just Wars. 
 Then, a couple weeks ago it was General Powell with his lies
 about sparing Iraqi lives. This week it was the Queen of the 
 Limies, Tony Blair with yet another Tall Tale.

 Father Pasquale Borgomeo, the Grand Wazoo of Vatican Radio, said 
 we can all breath a sigh of relief. Tony Blair personally assured 
 him that the U.N. and not the U.S. would be managing post-Saddam 
 Iraq. Sounds like all that electomagnetic radiation from his 
 transmission tower has fried Fr. Borgomeo's brain. Or manybe he's 
 just stupid. President Yellowbelly has already picked out the U.S. 
 military flunkies who will be governing Iraq and the oil exec who 
 will be managing the Iraqi oilfields for America. Pasquale ought 
 to try reading a newspaper once in a while, assuming the ignorant 
 peasant's got the literacy to handle such a task. What a schmuck!

                              +

 The tourism folks in the eastern German town of Erfurt came up
 with a nifty idea: how about souvenir packs of condoms with a
 pretty picture of the town's centerpiece - 700-year old St. 
 Mary's Cathedral - on them?  Fr. Reinhard Hauke of St. Mary's 
 about went through the roof when he saw them. He, of course, 
 was far too discrete to reveal HOW he came to see them. But he 
 did begin loudly pontificating about what an terrible affront 
 it was to the Church and its anti-choice stand...yadda...yadda. 
 Carmen Hildebrandt of the tourism board just shrugged her 
 shoulders and insisted it was a pretty catchy, popular idea.  
 Everybody in town, except Fr. Hauke, seemed to like it.

                           +

 Maimonides (my-MON-ih-dees) wasn't a Catholic, he was a Jew. And 
 though not a saint, he was a very saintly man. A Gedolim (Torah 
 Hero) of the highest order, nearly a millenium after his death, 
 he remains very much in the hearts of Hebrews everywhere. They 
 call him Rambam and his Torah commentaries are still highly 
 sought after for their scholarship and wisdom. This past week 
 he celebrated his 868th birthday.

 A Sephardic Jew born and raised in Spain, he hit the road after 
 Cordoba was invaded by north African Moors and settled in Egypt. 
 He became the personal physician to the famous ruler Saladin and 
 enjoyed great respect. By all accounts he freely shared his healing 
 arts with all who sought them. There was a line-up outside his door 
 day and night. When Richard the Lion Hearted invaded Egypt during 
 the 3rd Crusade, he was so impressed by Rambam that he invited him 
 to return with him to England. He politely declined and stayed in
 Egypt. It likely would have been hard to round up a Minyan in
 England and it's intellectual atmosphere no match for Egypt's.

 Egypt had some of the greatest centers of learning of that time.
 Aristotle's works, unknown in Europe during the Dark Ages, were 
 preserved by Islamic scholars in north Africa who thought very
 highly of him. Aquinas learned of him through his teacher Albertus
 Magnus' African connections. Rambam likely learned of him directly
 from the community of Islamic scholars in Egypt. Odd that both 
 Christianity and Judiaism's two greatest thinkers owe such a debt 
 to the scholars of Islam. HaShem always finds a way to bring the
 rain in its time.

 Something of a workaholic, when Rambam wasn't healing the sick he 
 studied and wrote. He did so constantly and produced many books. 
 His subject was usually the same: HaShem's Torah. He was as highly
 regarded as a scholar as he was as a doctor.

 Like Thomas Aquinas, who was born only a decade or so after Rambam 
 died, he brought reason, logical order and Aristotle's rationalism 
 to Jewish religious thought. It lacked organized philosophical 
 order. He bestowed that gift upon it. Not just for fellow scholars 
 but for all Hebrews. Lifting it from the realm of mysticism into 
 something worthy of serious academic philosophical study and
 opening its wisdom to a far wider audience. Even so, his most 
 famous work, "A Guide For the Perplexed", was one that spoke 
 equally to both scholars and non-scholars alike. Nearly a 
 thousand years after it was written, it can still be found on 
 bookstore shelves. I'm sure he'd be astonished and deeply humbled 
 by that fact. 

 Christians would find his wisdom well worth reading. He was
 truely a Man of God.
 
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