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Another Foggy Moment
These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.
THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG
------------------------------------------------
WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-------------------------------------------------
- 198 -
The baby salmon in U Dub's return pond are anxious to get on with it.
Especially in the evenings, hundreds of them are jumping around. Some
of the little buggers come shooting out of the water like bullets and
land a foot or two away from where they began. The red-wing blackbirds
in the bamboo grove next to the pond disappeared a couple weeks ago.
But those cranky old herons are still poaching the shallows. No problem
fitting their long beaks through the mesh. Though it is becoming more
of a problem getting their salmon baby through the holes as the babies
grow larger.
U Dub Hatchery
One morning as I stood by the pond, three mallards - a female and two
males - flew in and landed on top of the net. On the second bounce, the
female accidently went through the only sizeable hole in the whole thing.
Boy was she surprised! As she aimlessly paddled around inside quacking
in great panic, the two guy ducks were desperately hopping around above,
trying to keep up with her. It looked hilarious. I'm sure she got a
bellyful of salmon before the pond people cut her loose.
The swallows have been back for a couple weeks. They especially like
it down by Husky Stadium near the lake where there are plenty of bugs.
And the ospreys have disappeared from their usual resting spot in the
trees at the eastern entrance to Montlake Cut. The new leaves made it
hard enough for them to find the branches and then along came the human
turmoil of Regatta Week. They were outta there. They'll be back in the
fall when the leaves drop.
Big 'ol Drumheller Fountain remains fenced in as it has since they
drained and cleaned it back in November. It could be re-named Ken
& Herman's Memorial Garbage Dump. There's all sorts of trash in
there as people chuck their old coffee cups and whatever over top of
the fence. Nature ain't the only one who abhors a vacumn. People around
here just can't seem to restrain themselves when they encounter a big,
empty contained bowl. They gotta throw something into it. Forget calling
Ken and Herman. They're a waste of time. Lacking a President at the
moment, try chewing on the Board of Regents ass:
U Dub Board of Regents
Canuk writer Margaret Atwood's going to be at the U Dub Bookstore
flogging her new book next week.
Margaret's Personal Webpage
HOOTERVILLE HISTORY...
A week from tomorrow will be the 92nd Anniversary of the opening of
old Union Station on Jackson Street. Through it's doors have passed
the likes of baseball legends Ted Williams and Joe DiMaggio; performers
like Bing Crosby, Bob Hope and Jack Benny working the old vaudeville
circuit; Presidents Woodrow Wilson and Warren G. Harding (shortly
before succumbing to some bad Seattle sushi) and untold thousands of
Phillipino, Japanese and Chinese immigrants. They had a special
waiting room for the immigrants just below the beautiful big one on
the main level. They stuck them down with the baggage. Even put up
a 'visitor's gallery' so those bored with waiting could amuse themselves
by watching the unwashed Asian masses below.
Now days the old immigrant waiting-room/baggage-area is occupied by
Sound Transit bean-counters. Nearly abandoned when the last train
pulled out in the 70's, Union Station seemed doomed as she sat empty
then became home to a tacky bazaar for small-time crafts people. Then
Paul Allen snatched it up cheap for a song, completely refurbished it
back to nearly-original condition and now rents it out to ST for a
buck a year. He may be a jerk but the law-of-averages works as well
for jerks as anybody else - sooner or later they screw up and do
something right. Now if only he could get the trains rolling again,
I might have grounds for changing my opinion of him.
SARS REDUX...
Is the phony SARS epidemic over the hump or is it still running
amuck? Nobody seems to know. Some scientists seem upset that they
have hardly had an opportunity to milk this Golden Cow before
everybody hurriedly tries to trot it back to the barn. From phony
panic in China to bizarre over-reaction at western borders, it's
just one stupid thing after another.
Our News Nazis have made mindless fear into a form of recreation.
A cynically entertaining way for them to get their rocks off scaring
the crap out of the stupid and gullible. That's the bottom-line in
this SARS thing: the Media's ability to manufacture panic from pure,
baseless vapor. It makes all those ignorant Arts Majors feel important
to yank everybody's wire occasionally.
Whatever happened to that West Nile Virus everybody was in a panic
over last year? Did the FBI ever catch the crazy anthrax killer?
Both just magically evaporated, never to be heard about again. One
day a heinous threat to public health; the next day, a distant
memory.
Too bad people don't get this excited about the starvation and
world hunger that daily takes thousands of lives, mostly infants.
But then that genuinely is a serious problem and worse - it would
be easy to cure: just give them some food to eat. No titillating
fear or obscene pharmaceutical profits in that.
TOPOFF2...
That's the name of the Gestapo training exercise around Seattle this
week. They were pretending a 'dirty nuke' went off in SoDo. At best,
it's an expensive Dog and Pony Show put on to make us think they're
doing something useful when, if fact, they're just screwing the pooch
on our dime. At worst, it's an elaborate lie and a cruel hoax.
If a real 'dirty nuke' were to go off anywhere in Hooterville and the
locals knew what happened, chaos and panic would prevail. Every road
outta here would be solid gridlock with people in a crazy rush to
escape the city. The cops would have their hands full just trying to
keep emergency routes open, never mind trying to figure out who set it
off. And that's charitably assuming they don't drop their donuts and
hit the road themselves. A more likely scenario, since we've got the
most cowardly cops in America.
Logically they would not tell us such a thing occurred. That's what
happened when the Three Mile Island nuke-power plant nearly melted
down - they just lied about it. "Nothing to worry about folks, just a
routine, if impressive, industrial accident. Ignore it and go about
your business as usual." Sure it would expose many thousands of people
to radioactive effects who wouldn't otherwise have been exposed and
vastly increasing the death-toll, but so what? It would temporarily
prevent panic and allow the Big People to escape first. Their well
being would be the top priority. Women-and-children-first has been
replaced by Bureaucrats-and-Rich-Bastards-first.
Our News Nazis would likely cop to the situation early-on and go
to pre-recorded programming as they desert the ship too. At that
point confusion would be the norm. Nobody would know what the hell
was going on. When armed National Guardsmen in Rad Suits start to
appear at the intersections to protect the banks and businesses
from looting, the jig will be up. That great WOOSHing sound will
be three million people all trying to evacuate metro Seattle at
once By Any Means Necessary. In the background the Emergency
Broadcast System voice will be mechanically droning "Everything
is under control. Do not panic. Everything is under control. Do
not panic. Everything is..."
Also left out of this little charade are the hospitals suddenly
swamped with tens of thousands of people with rad sickness. They
would not even vaguely be able to cope with those numbers. A lot
of doctors and nurses would be in with the deserters, contributing
to a severe staff shortage as well. And of course, they would not
be immune to the effects of radiation themselves.
It would be mass insanity and mega-death. To pretend otherwise is
the sheerest of follies and cruelest of delusions. And, needless
to say, Hooterville would be unliveable for many years into the
future. No coming back to get your stuff or bury your dead, unless
you wanna die. I guess they'd have to put a fence or a wall around
it to keep people out...or in...as the case may be.
'Dirty Nukes' don't have to produce nuclear explosions. They could be
as simple as a conventional explosive designed to disperse plutonium
hither and yon. The most toxic substance known to science, it takes
very little plutonium to wipe out a large city. A pound or two would
be gross overkill which, if projected far enough up into the atmosphere,
could spread at least regional death if not national body counts. Far
less than that goes missing from nuke plants in America alone every
year. And there are many substitutes for plutonium that can also get
the job done.
Not to forget that other terrorism exercise - "Vigilant Guardian".
The one the Pentagoon was conducting to test its preparedness in
the event of terrorists highjacking an airliner and ramming it into
an office building. The one that was held on 9/11/01.
BILLY GEE'S DADDY...
In the past year, Bill Gates Sr. has been conducting an orchestrated
campaign to flog himself as a humanitarian. After spending a lifetime
whoring for corporations and helping them slime their way out of their
responsibilities to their employees, customers and neighbors, leaving
a trail of broken promises and broken lives, he's now trying to morph
himself into a Good Guy. Not with his own money of course. He is a
lawyer afterall. He's using his son's money. But then it's highly
unlikely his son would be where he is today without Daddy's professional
help. Perhaps billg really is a computer nerd. Who knows? But there's
no doubt at all that Daddy was a hot shot corporate lawyer with the
biggest/baddest corporate lawfirm in town. A man who knew precisely
how to legally screw people up the kaboose. The kind of guy who would
know all the legal-theft scams that made M$ what it is today. That
success is due far more to Daddy's behind-the-scenes legal chicanery
than to billg's imaginary computer skills or his non-existent
salesmanship. Billg and Paula were just along for the ride. And now
Daddy wants a little lime-light for himself before he kicks off.
Screw the phony old bastard.
NEW ISOLATIONISM...
We are no strangers to isolationism. Prior to our post-WW2 ascension
to the World Throne, we were a people who were notorious for minding
our own business, as much to the consternation of domestic politicos
as to the relief of foreign tyrants. We had our adventures, certainly,
but they were anomalies that enjoyed little popular support. President
Wilson had to lie his ass off to get us into WW-I. President Roosevelt
had to set-up the Pearl Harbor attack to trick us into WW-II. In both
cases, we went reluctantly and returned home vowing never to get
schnookered again.
We explored the idea of World Domination after WW-II when we were one
of the few nations left intact. But even James Bond was English, not
American, and the effort wasn't entirely whole-hearted. The Vietnamese
taught us a major lesson in that department. We militarily and politically
'defeated' them many times, but they kept rising out of nowheres to kick
our asses once again. Just as will likely happen in Iraq. Most of the
process is invisibly concealed in the shadows unseen by our News Nazis
and CIA while conducted in foreign tongues not understood by our News
Nazis or CIA. But the body-bags returning home with Little Billy in them
were as real as a heart-attack. No Media or government lies could make
them disappear. As will happen once again. We schnooker easily. We're
Country Bumpkins at heart, afterall.
And so it went until recently. They've been trying to trick us into
foreign entanglements but we just ain't been game. Ronny Ray-Gun's
invasion of some forgettable Carribean island was a military joke.
Yellowbelly's Daddy's invasion of Kuwait was a debacle. President Bubba
Jay's botching of Somalia and Haiti were only exceeded by his Wimpy
bombing campaigns in Bosnia and Iraq.
Then came 9/11 - the first time in over two centuries that our guardians
were so asleep at the switch that an enemy was able to carry out a
sustained attack on our very soil. The Kaiser failed to do so in WW-I;
Hitler and the Japanese Emperor failed to do so in WW-II; Chairman Mao
failed to do so during the Korean War and Ho Chi Minh failed to do so
during the Vietnam War. Even the nefarious Rooskies of Cold War fame
never so much as laid a hand on us here at home.
Much as Roosevelt's Pearl Harbor, 9/11 was a trick to lure us into
foreign adventures. Yellowbelly too knew it was coming just as FDR
knew Pearl was coming. And both cleverly buried any thought of
investigations in the general Whoop Up For War that immediately
followed. FDR, being an intelligent man without moral scruples, was
so effective at concealing his Pearl Harbor chicanery that he never
was questioned. Yellowbelly, being a Monkey Boy incapable of even
spelling 'scruples', has failed to shake it off and is in constant
danger of having his 9/11 betrayal revealed.
So here we are in a most peculiar situation. While our News Nazis and
pols whoop it up for foreign adventure, the vast and overwhelming wash
of Americans are decidedly far more interested in just minding their
own business. The only enthusiasm for Yeller's stinky TWAT is at the
top. There is no enthusiasm for it at all down in the trenches. A vast
gap seperates the isolationism of the Grassroots from the official
Apparatus' imperialistic snatching at other nations property. Only
the body-bags of willing volunteers have quietly returned home so far
and nobody is leaning on us to pay for TWAT - yet. When that changes,
as it most certainly will have to, the Official Fantasy will become
unsustainable. Once again we will come to the shocking discovery that
we've been lied to. Once again we will vow "Never again!". But there
will always be another time. There always is. There's a sucker born
here every minute as PT Barnum used to proudly say.
RETIREMENT BLUES...
As America continues to bleed jobs like a stuck pig fattened for the
slaughter, those who still have jobs are facing an even deeper crisis:
retirement. The young will likely live long enough to get another job.
The old haven't got time to work up another pension.
We have a serious pension crisis. Forget the many thousands of
suckers who lost their 401(k) shirts in the recent stock-market
nose-dive and are now having to recoup their losses singlehanded as
their employers quietly drop contributing their half. They fell for
it and now they're paying the price. Any fool knows you don't bet
your pension on insider-run gambling scams like the stock-market
and horse-races.
In addition, half of our 32,000 traditional pension-funds run by
employers are now seriously underfunded, thanks to our Congressional
Whores allowing employers to defer making their contributions during
our recently departed Boom Times. Boom Times have turned to Bust, as
they always do, and now many employers can't afford to both stay
afloat and make up for the pension contributions they previously
skipped. It's you or them. An easy choice: you lose.
Rubbing salt into the wound, the Federal agency established to
pick up the slack from employers who've defaulted on their pension
obligations, is itself on the verge of bankruptcy. They've already
begun reducing the amounts paid out to the unfortunates who are
relying on them. That ain't working so they'll soon likely have to
discontinue operations completely. What happens to the unfortunate
recipients whose pensions are on the line? Who knows? Who cares?
Congress is utterly disinterested in their fate. Unions couldn't care
less about retired members - they ain't paying dues anymore. And Uncle
Sammy has his hands full fighting off the imaginary Booger Men hiding
under his bed.
Now, the same Congressional Whores who created this mess are moving
to remove as much of the onerous pension burden as possible from
their corporate benefactors. A provision in a new House pension bill
will compassionately allow companies that employ blue-collar workers
to substantially reduce their retirement obligations.
Blue-collar American workers don't live as long as white-collar workers.
That's not an opinion, that's an actuarial fact. The new scam...errr...
scheme developed by Congressman Portman (R-OH) and Congressman Cardin
(D-MD) would take advantage of that fact to allow employers not to pay
as much into the pensions of blue-collar workers on the assumption that
their sweaty employees will kick the bucket earlier. Those pension funds
will be permanently under-funded from here on out.
You've gotta ask: where in the hell are the frik'n unions? They should
be leading the charge and instead seem largely uninterested in the
welfare of their membership.
.........................................................................
No one owns life. But anyone with a frying pan owns death.
- William S. Burroughs -
.........................................................................
'OL YELLER'S TWAT
(aka The War Against Terrorism)
Local Media Zit Queen and famous War Hero, Ken Shram, sure put those
whinny Viet Nam Vets in their place. After they bitched about Kenny's
hallucinagenic premature-ejaculation over our returning Iraq Muggers,
he effectively told them to shut up and 'get over it'. Now there 's
REAL respect for vets. I wouldn't be surprised if he spends Memorial
Day pissing on the graves of our Vietnam War dead.
What a sight! Our Coward King flying onto the Abe Lincoln in a baby
jet. Not an A-10 mind you. He couldn't handle that. But the irony
of this draft-dodging Weasel who skipped out on his Vietnam service
pretending he's a soldier now is a bit much. Too bad he didn't have
the balls to do his part back when this country needed his help.
It reminded me of Mike Dukakis tooling around in that tank though
Monkey Boy certainly got far more sympathetic treatment from our
News Nazis.
Considering that he doesn't even pay those dumbasses a living wage;
that he has such contempt for their well-being as to ignore even the
legally mandated health-safeguards; that he recently screwed our
disabled vets out of most of their care/treatment money; you really
gotta wonder why none of them had the balls to poke him in the eye.
He's a coward - he won't retaliate. Apparently they're just as gutless
as he is. Those Pussies don't even stand up for their own kind.
Meanwhile, back on the Ranch...
The World's Biggest Asshole has created the World's Biggest Mess in
Iraq. Our vastly over-rated army of pooch-screwers are proving to be
just as lousy at policing as they were at warrioring. Armed gangs
continue to rule Baghdad looting and killing at will while our
military nervous nellies hide in their little compounds shooting at
anything that moves near their perimeter fence. Too chicken to
come out and do their job. At least with our new Won't-Ask-Don't-Tell
army they don't have to worry about getting Poontang. They likely
prefer one another's company anyways. I'm sure they've got lots of
vaseline.
The thousands of injured civilians our invasion created still are
not getting medical attention. Hospitals complain there is no
security to prevent looting of their medications or even to ensure
the safety of their staff and patients. With all the time we had
to prepare for this, we got little to show for the effort. No
American occupation has ever been as seriously bungled as this one
has. Those who survived their liberation are beginning to wonder
if maybe having a home-grown Thug running the show wasn't preferable
to having a bunch of retarded Americans doing the honors.
The senile old drunk they fished out of the dumpster to administer
this Dog and Pony Show doesn't appear to have the vaguest idea what
he's doing. If he'd lay off the wine and sober up for a few days
maybe he'd get enough of a clue to at least begin addressing some
of the serious problems the liberated Iraqis now face thanks to us.
Instead, he wanders around telling everybody it's his birthday as
he's chauffeured about in his Armored Personnel Carrier. He'd get
his head blown off if he tried walking around his new empire.
Where are the vast hordes of chemical and biological weapons that
Wolfy and the rest of Rummy's Bitches said were there? Zip. Where
is the nuclear weapons program that supposedly was so advanced that
it had already produced a few nukes? Nada. The whole thing was a
lie right from the get-go. A deliberate, calculated lie. Why are
those people still collecting paychecks from Uncle Sammy? At the
very least they should be fired for stupidity. And they certainly
deserve to be brought up on charges for their fraudulent behavior.
The same people who make funny noises about Support The Troops,
turn their back on these bastards who caused the deaths of so many
of their precious soldiers. What's that bullshit all about?
We invade this country, slaughter off thousands, leave tens of
thousands more short of death, destroy their national infrastructure,
allow looters to walk off with historical treasures that belong to
all of humanity. And for what? Did they threaten us? Nope. Did they
even possess the means to threaten us? Nope. Did they take part in
9/11? Not a single Iraqi. Then why in the hell did we do this
obscene thing? More significantly, why don't we have enough common
moral sense to be ashamed of ourselves?
The rest of the world knows the score: if you ain't got nukes, you
better get some or Sammy will kick in your door, rape your wife,
kill your kids and steal everything you got. He ain't the World's
Cop anymore; he's just a common, ordinary Junkie looking for somebody
helpless to roll so he can score another hit. Our former friends have
copped to the scene and are rapidly cutting us out of their financial
and security action. It's already cost thousands of Americans their
paychecks and the evacuation has only begun. Our Dollar's dropping
like a rock. Mr. Greenspan says that will make us more competitive.
Pshaw! We consume, we don't produce. That's why we've got that huge
whopping balance-of-trade deficit. Duh! Aside from your haircut,
what else you got that's Made in the U.S.A.?
China's the Next Big Thing. Fueled by tons of Trans-National
Corporate Loot, while America and Europe join Japan's recessionary
economy, the Chinese economy is growing like Gang-Busters. And they
don't have to diddle the numbers to look good like Uncle Sammy does.
Labor's so cheap there that even the Mexicans can't compete with
them. But with the government supplying everything from health care
to mass transit, they don't need a lot of discretionary cash. With
four of them for every American, as they accumulate money to spend,
they can easily surpass us as consumers. Chinese like Stuff almost
as much as they like gold.
Uncle Sammy's starting to resemble a big rhinoserous: all armor
and no brains. Maybe the People's Army will hire us out to fight
their wars for them. We'll come cheap by then.
........................................................................
Man's unhappiness stems from his inability to sit quietly in his room.
- Pascal -
.........................................................................
- MONDO VATICANO -
Pope Ratso the First (aka Cardinal Ratzinger of the Holy Inquisition)
wheeled his old Pollock out the door and off to sunny Spain this week.
The Vatican Spinmeisters cranked out the usual malarchy about millions
of adoring fans turning up to cop a peek at the Pollock. Fact is, the
crowds continue to be down substantially. Who wants to see a drooling
old semi-corpse being held up by some thug? Looking pretty much like
death-warmed-over, you gotta wonder if anybody will even notice once
he does croak. Ratso and the rest of the Curia Queens could drag JP-2's
dead carcass around the world for the next couple decades without
anyone being the wiser. If they had any decency or brains at all,
they would stick him in a retirement home so the Church can get on
with its business under a functional leader.
+
Mother Theresa's girls came out with an official denial about a
supposed death-bed prophesy she was said to have made. A Carmelite
nun was spreading it on the Internet. If, as some allege, this nun
is not a Carmelite, it should be a simple matter for the Carmelites
to quickly clear it up. After reading it I really had to wonder why
they bothered. It was the usual unimaginative apocalyptic nonsense
featuring the Four Horsemen and The Beast. But the timeline was all
screwy. It had Saddam being assassinated by an Iranian (The Beast)
and many other such 'mistakes' uncorrectable by even the most
imaginative interpretation.
My initial reaction to any prophetic and/or miraculous visions is
to snicker in disbelief. Anyone whose faith is so weak that they
need that kind of garbage to reinforce it really ain't got much
faith worth having. They're little more than superstitious peasants.
You want miracles? Look around you. Everything natural that you can
see is a miracle. None of it can be explained to any meaningful
degree by modern science. From trees to squirrels to birds to the
skies above, we live inside a functioning miracle. We don't know
how this Creation began and we have little idea how it manages to
sustain and maintain itself. How much more of a miracle do you
need? It directly reflects the God who created it. It is a living
Bible revealing that God's persona. And the only obstacle to
grasping it's Truths is your ignorance. We were clearly intended
to probe those Truths and seek them out. No other creature is
so equipped to do so.
+
The touring women priests has come off pretty well. The crowds
were apparently quite small (a hundred or so) wherever they went
but they explained their priesthood and, more importantly,
exercised it: they said Mass wherever they went. The Vatican's
opinion of them is irrelevant. The Vatican is 'yesterday'; the
women priests are 'tomorrow'. This version of the Magisterium
has rendered itself irrelevant with its corruption and perversity.
In effect, Roma has excommunicated itself. The Magisterium has
transferred itself, temporarily, from the Vatican to the Body of
the Church - sincere clergy and lay Catholics. That is where it
obviously can now be found.
+
Australian Prime Minister John Howard really seems to have a knack
for sticking his foot in it - whatever 'it' might be lying about.
From his botching of Australia's immigrant problem to his blowing
off his electorate over America's recent mugging of Iraq - if
there's some doo-doo to step in, John manages to do a belly-flop
in it.
His choice for Governor-General resigned this week after being
accused of a rape from four decades ago. I'm not sure why the time
should be such an issue. Rape is rape no matter how long ago it
occurred. Rapists rarely exchange ID with their victims so identity
can often be difficult. That a picture triggered the memory isn't
unusual. That the slimebag thought he could pull strings to escape
justice is pretty standard Modus for people like that. Ultimately,
one has to trust the judgement of our justice systems. That this
guy short-circuited the process by ducking out early, is suspicious
in itself.
----------------------------------------------------
The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
ask. You want to make money off it, gimme some first.
I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
it into Lutefisk.
~--------------------------------------------------
MAIL: tofoggymoment@yahoo.com
(My mailbox is so stuffed with death-threats and spam
that I can rarely bring myself to look at it. Don't
expect immediate responses.)
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