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                         Another Foggy Moment

      These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
      of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
      Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
        cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
      another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.

                     THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG

         ------------------------------------------------
         WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
         If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
         punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
         the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
         Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
         89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
         -------------------------------------------------

                             - 201 -

 Finally! After more than six months, Drumheller Fountain once again 
 has water in it. The lensing effect of all that clean water is quite
 remarkable. Looking down in it you'd swear the pool is only a couple 
 feet deep when you know darn well it's at least five times that. The 
 fence is still up and there's no water shooting into the air. But the
 ducks wasted no time moving in and the hundreds of roses that surround 
 Drumheller have begun to blossom forth in anticipation of the Great 
 Day. Halelujiah! Bring on your huddled and wretched goldfish yearning
 to be free.

 It was a week ago they lifted the gate at U Dub's gravel-bottomed 
 salmon-return pond by the ship canal and set the babies free. They 
 dropped the water level half way down and cranked the intake pipe 
 to max creating a strong flow out the gate to encourage the slackers
 to get a move-on. The net was left down to protect them. But while 
 most of the babies left, some of the Portage Bay crowd moved in.
 I don't know what they are but they're big and sluggish brutes who
 don't seem all that interested in the baby salmon. Though they sure 
 had the ducks nervously steering clear of them.

 This past Friday they dropped the gate back down, cut the intake 
 flow and lifted the net at least for the weekend. I got no idea 
 why. Trapped inside the pond with the remaining babies, the Big 
 Boyz are none too happy about this situation. As I stood gazing 
 down at seven of them crowded together, one took a leap at the 
 gate and about gave me a heart attack. He smacked that thing 
 like a bag of wet sand but came up short. Easy big fella!

 Thesis

 Friday night I was surprised to see the Oregon State University's 
 medium-size research ship Wecoma sitting at U Dub's pier on
 Portage Bay. The big "Tommy Thompson" usually parks there but it
 hasn't been seen for months now. While she wears U Dub colors
 the Thompson belongs to the Navy. They must have repossessed her 
 to fight the Syrian Navy's invasion force off our shores eh. Or 
 is it the Iranians. I always get those two mixed up. President
 Yellowbelly's stinky TWAT must be making a mess out of the NSF
 research programs.
 
 It was 35 years ago last Friday that a somber but combattive 
 Muhammed Ali appeared at U Dub flanked by his Fruit of Islam
 bodyguards. A short while before, he had refused to allow 
 himself to be inducted into the Armed Forces on religious 
 grounds setting off a years-long string of official reprisals
 and harassments against him. No CO status for Sassy Mooslem 
 Black Men in America baby. That's only for White Christian
 Folks.

 Legend of Muhammed Ali read by Ali (1.1M)

 ALL-AMERICAN RAVEN...

 The first day they lowered the water and opened the gate in U Dub's
 salmon-return pond, a raven snuck in under the net to feast on the 
 dead stuff on the edges. Then he couldn't figure out how to get back 
 out. Given the situation - lots to eat, plenty of room, securely 
 protected by the net from predators, cute duckies for company - you'd 
 think he'd just do what the ducks did: settle back and go with the 
 flow. The American Dream come true.

 Nope. The bird-brain wanted to be free. 

 So he began searching for a way out. He seemed to know the general
 spot where he snuck in at but, because of the change in perspective,
 he couldn't see the opening to get back out. Then he began flying 
 back and forth from that spot to various other spots around the pond. 
 Back and forth. Back and forth. No panic. Just this methodical search 
 anchored on the place where he originally got in. Back and forth.
 Back and forth. Occasionally he'd stop to nervously nibble on a dead 
 minnow or to squawk at the ducks. And he seemed fascinated by the 
 fact that passing humans couldn't get at him. But you could tell it 
 was bug'n him. So back at it he went. Back and forth. Back and
 forth. He was determined to find a way out. Escape had become his 
 mission in life.
 
 Back and forth. Back and forth. Finally after nearly an hour, he 
 found a spot at the opposite end where the net had been drawn up
 over some poolside bushes. There it was: a small gap obscured by
 the bushes. He was outta there Toot Sweet.

 Americans and parakeets may give up their freedom for a bellyful 
 of food and the security of life in a cage, but ravens won't. 
 They got higher standards.

 A MODEST PROPOSAL...

 The FBI/CIA and the usual crew of ne'er-do-wells revealed to the
 world this week their plan to assemble a Super Data Vacumn that
 will slurp up every single piece of information about a person
 and assemble it into a single lump - birth certificate, credit
 card purchases, postal money orders bought, USENET postings,
 emails sent/received, criminal convictions, etc. etc. The usual 
 parties appropriately freaked at this news. Uncle Sammy turning 
 into an Uber Voyeur has them rightfully concerned. 

 My only real concern is that Sammy takes that crap too seriously.
 The problem with the Data Vacumn is that the written records aren't
 the whole story and most of what's there can either be forged or 
 faked in some fashion. It isn't realiable or dependable information. 
 Complicating matters is the simple fact that things like FBI records 
 are largely made up of Agent Reports made by G-Men who may or may 
 not have known what they were doing. Since there is no 'quality 
 control' and 'massaging data' is considered a job-skill in their
 industry, most of what's there is career-enhancing trash. Twice in 
 the past 5 years, the FBI Crime Lab has been caught diddling the 
 evidence from thousands of cases or simply botching the analysis. 
 Police reports are an even bigger joke. Few cops, most of whom have 
 no more than a high-school education (if that), can stitch a coherent 
 sentence together. Identity Theft, bogus liens, baseless credit 
 complaints and similar forms of mischief would further pollute it.
 That's not information, that's noise. 

 The only practical use for such garbage would be to 'reverse-
 engineer' a case against someone The Apparatus doesn't like. They
 would arrest them then, after the fact, diddle the data to make
 them look as guilty as possible. The innocent-until-proven-guilty
 party would be denied, on National Security grounds, access to the 
 data lump out of which the prefabricated case was manufactured, of 
 course. There's nothing Uncle Sammy hates more than a fair fight.

 A modest proposal:

 Why not cut to the chase? Just arrest every newborn American at
 birth for illegal entry into the United States and slap them with 
 an automatic, no-appeal 80-years probation/good-behavior/suspended 
 sentence. They, or their guardians, would be required to annually 
 contact their Parole-Officer/Godfather to account for their actions 
 and whereabouts over the previous year (after their first birthday). 
 Maybe slap an electronic monitor on their ankle when they learn to 
 walk. Then, if in the opinion of their parole officer, the situation 
 warrants it they could be thrown in jail or deported at any time for 
 violation of parole without the bother, expense and mess of a trial. 
 It would be a lot more efficent and we could get rid of the entire 
 Judicial third of our three-part system of government at enormous 
 savings to the taxpayers. Most judges are too lazy to do their jobs
 anyways. Lawyers, rendered largely redundant and unnecessary, could 
 go back to drug dealing, pimping and standing out front of the 
 supermarkets greeting people for chump change.

 THE OLD FIRM...

 While many of those who are looking forward to the upcoming Manchester
 United v. Celtic FC soccer match here this summer for the chance to
 see Man Utd and Posh Spice's Hubby David Beckham in action, Celtic 
 is nothing to sneeze at either. 

 Glasgow's two teams - Rangers and Celtic - ARE Scottish football for
 all intents and purposes. They are heads above any of the other teams
 in the league. Theoretically they represent the City's Protestant and 
 Catholic fans, respectively. In reality, winning is what it's all 
 about and the owners buy the best players they can get their hands 
 on regardless of their religious affiliation. Both teams have many 
 internationals on their squads. Celtic's roster has many guys with 
 such un-Celtic first names as: Bobo, Javier, Momo, Joos, Dimitri, 
 Stanislav, Ulrik and Lubomir. Just to rub it in, their trainer is 
 a Protie from Northern Ireland. Shhhh! Don't tell the Pope.

 The Scottish League's season ended last week with Celtic and Rangers
 in a dead heat: precisely the same stats in every respect, except
 one - goals scored. Rangers had one more goal going into the final 
 game of the season. Both won that last game but Rangers won theirs 
 by a wider margin and took the league on the technicality.

 One of my favorite players on Celtic is midfielder Colin Healy. 
 He made it big in the English Premiership then returned home to 
 Scotland to finish his career. He looks like a crufty old Highland
 warrior out of the movie "Braveheart". Their top scorer, with 41
 goals this season, is the Swedish player Henrik Larrson who been 
 a regular fixture of the Swedes national team for years. He just 
 announced his retirement from international football this week. 
 No more World Cups or Euro Cups for him. But it shouldn't affect 
 his appearance here - this is a Celtic event, not a Swedish event. 
 Other names on Celtic that Footie fans would recognize are: Steve 
 Guppy and Chris Sutton both of whom have substantial reputations.

 While the game has no real significance to either team it'll be
 fun seeing a couple of Europe's better teams in action right here
 in little 'ol Hooterville. 

 SHUTTLE INQUIRY...

 The inquiry over the disintegration of Columbia during re-entry
 seems to be winding down. They still haven't figured out for sure
 why it happened but they need to come up with SOMETHING to justify
 their existence and the huge, whopping bill from collecting the
 debris. So they are back to flogging the launch-damage theory in 
 which a chunk of insulation is thought to have broken off the big 
 main tank and damaged a wing on the ascent. The initial test 
 results didn't support the idea but, what the hell, who cares?
 Details, details eh.

 It's all pretty academic anyways.  
 (1) Regardless of the inquiry's outcome, the Shuttles will not be
     scrapped. They are ultimately a military asset and the military 
     says they'll fly no matter how much of a death-trap they may be.
     There are no end of scientific and engineering mediocrities out
     there willing to play the odds and risk their lives to get a
     couple Shuttle missions on their resumes. If a shortage of crew
     volunteers ever did occur, we'd just order military flunkies 
     to fly in the damn things. The Shuttles are perfectly capable of
     flying unmanned and most of the 'scientific' work done during
     missions could be performed by trained monkeys, or even soldiers
     for that matter. The monkeys can train the soldiers.
 (2) You can't 'legislate' attitude and that is precisely where the
     biggest problem is. Given that we have a space station in orbit 
     and that NASA knew there were ascent-damage issues from previous 
     flights, there really was no excuse for a solo mission and even
     less for the lack of any provision for rescue, except that 
     nobody gave a damn. Obviously, all Shuttle flights should be to 
     the ISS to ensure that crews can check out their bird and have a 
     means of survival in the event of damage. Duh!
 (3) There are a million things wrong with NASA and it really should
     be scrapped but there are too many corporations and scientific
     grant-sponges with a vested interest in keeping it just as it is
     no matter how dysfunctional it may be. Besides, our scientifically
     illiterate Congressional Whores are too stupid to reorganize it
     properly anyways. It will remain dysfunctional and there will be 
     more multi-Billion-Buck screw-ups and astronaut-killing "accidents" 
     in the future. Guaranteed. 
 (4) Unless Osama bin Laden's imaginary Al Qaida launches a Terrorist
     Space Program in the near future, the Space Shuttle will, like
     the rest of our Space Program, remain nostalgic trivia of little
     interest or meaning to our hillbilly masses. Aside from the many 
     military-industrial-complex corporate freeloaders, like Boeing, 
     who milk this thing for billions in free tax money, nobody else 
     actually is inspired about space any more. It's more fun to 
     watch "Star Trek" and "Star Wars" movies. The special-effects
     are way more realistic than the real thing. 

......................................................................

                            RADIOHEAD

 One of the spinoffs of our new Fascist reality is, I've almost 
 totally tuned out the local media. It's not hard to do nor is
 it any great sacrifice. They suck anyways. Our newspapers, aside 
 from The Stranger, are an easily ignorable joke. I don't even 
 glance at the newsboxes on the street anymore. I threw my TV away 
 over 10 years ago. Most of our radio stations are owned by some
 guy in California and use satellite feeds from heaven knows where. 
 KEXP and KBCS - the two community radio stations - are the only
 ones I listen to regularly. And I never miss Doug and Ron's ancient 
 "Scandanavian Hour". The two Latino stations got nice music worth
 the occasional listen. If I twist my AM radio just right, CBC 
 Vancouver (BC) on 690 can be heard even in the daytime. The lucky 
 people up by Bellingham can get CBC-FM with REAL classical music 
 instead of the insipid Yuppie Dinner Music dished out by Classic 
 KING-FM's all-boy crew down here.

 I tune in Herbie's Kidz on NOAA's 162.55 MHz first thing in the
 morning. Herbie's the synthesized voice NOAA uses to read the 
 weather reports. The radio/TV weather persons all steal their
 stuff off NOAA's National Weather Service; why not get it right
 from the horse's mouth? "Everett" sounds like "Ave Rat" and he 
 has a peculiar habit of making his voice rise exhuberantly at 
 the end of certain words, otherwise he's pretty good. His "Kidz" 
 are a couple of his smoother offspring who recently replaced 
 him. Herb still shows up on the weekends sometimes. The Japanese 
 have a synthesized woman's voice that they use for utility 
 broadcasts. It'd be way cool if she got together with Herbie 
 and his Kidz for a little on-air chat sometime. Perhaps with 
 Max Headroom and Dan Rather as co-moderators. 

 NOAA Synthesized Voices

 I like listening to Metro Transit's dispatchers on 452.655 MHz. 
 There are other frequencies but this one is as good as any. They 
 are more professional, entertaining and informative than any of 
 the talk radio jocks. Probably because they think bus drivers 
 are the only ones who can hear them. With buses breaking down, 
 passengers puking in the seats and drivers getting lost, there
 is never a shortage of important topics to discuss. My favorite 
 is the guy who sounds like Elmer Fudd. No matter how Crazy it 
 gets, his voice automatically takes the stress out of things. 
 And when the going gets tough, he gets mellow. I've never heard
 him Lose It in a crisis. The bus drivers are like hundreds of 
 eyes and ears spread all over the highways and byways of King 
 County. A fact not lost on our cops who often ask the dispatchers 
 to have the drivers keep an eye out for various heisters, purse-
 snatchers and other Desperados on the run. The kind of stuff
 that's too unimportant for the 6 o'clock news.

 When I'm working around Boeing Field (aka King County Intl. Airport), 
 south of downtown, I can pick up the tower info freq (127.75 MHz) 
 which carries a continuous loop of temperature, wind, clouds, etc. 
 It's like having your own little weather station in your pocket. 

 For background...
 * The Coast Guard's Vessel Traffic System on 156.7 MHz, has various 
   ships, large and small, public, governmental, commercial and military, 
   checking in as they cruise the waters of Puget Sound. 
 * "Sea-Tac Approach" on 133.65 MHz has the flights coming into  Sea-Tac 
   International Airport. It's kind of neat to be able listen to the pilot
   while you can see his aircraft flying overhead.
 * Burlington-Northern-Santa-Fe Railway has a state-wide frequency on
   160.62 MHz that various BNSF freight trains and Amtrak passenger
   trains call into for safety clearances and what not. Saturday mornings 
   the King County Garbage Train always calls in as it hauls our excess
   trash off to somewhere in Oregon. 
 * The Chamber of Commerce "Hospitality Patrol" - aka Bum Police - on
   452.67 MHz, who wander around downtown on foot rousting the homeless, 
   cleaning up around bus stops and the such are a great way to get a 
   Raw Taste of life in the Naked City. Try some Gangsta who suddenly
   begins puking up a river of blood at at a downtown bus stop for no 
   obvious reason. Guess that baloon of cocaine he had in his belly 
   sprung a leak. They ain't gonna carry that on the 6 o'clock news. 
 * For variety there's all sorts of weirdness between 455-462 MHz:
   garbagemen (461.57 MHz) doing their rounds, bicycle-courier kiddies, 
   Media aircraft chattering with the Home Office (455.51 MHz), etc.
   etc. The atmosphere is often informal and there's a fair amount of 
   goofing around but profanity is extremely rare. Courtesy and patience
   are the rule. They're just trying to get a job done.
 
 The cops and robbers stuff on 800 MHz is pretty boring. It's about as
 exciting as listening to security guards. Not that there's a lot of
 difference between cops and security guards anymore. The State Troopers
 (155.56 MHz amongst others) are a bit more professional than SPoDe 
 and, especially during winter, those that work the mountain passes, 
 give a better idea of the real road conditions than the Media does. 
 And "stuff" happens sometimes. Listening in one night I heard a Trooper 
 who was transporting a pregnant lady from a stranded vehicle. Much to 
 his surprise, she had her baby in his back seat. While he freaked, the 
 lady dispatcher calmed him down and explained to him what he needed to 
 do. He was more frazzled than the new mother was. You could hear her
 in the background saying, "Don't worry. It'll be okay." in between
 labor pains. I'll bet the Boyz are still raz'n him about it.

 Short-wave radio is my normal source of entertainment and news. 
 Daytime: 
 * Early in the morning there's wild and rauckus Chinese opera 
   music on 9.605 MHz. I love this stuff - much banging and 
   clanging, bashing and boinging. It's guaranteed to wake you up 
   in a hurry. Radio North Korea can also be heard on 9.335 MHz.
   Up until recently they almost sounded normal but have returned
   to their strident 'Yankee imperialist running-dogs' rhetoric.
 * Voice of Greece on 17.065 MHz has the wildest and craziest music 
   around. It's like the best of east and west mixed togther. And 
   listening to the old Geezer who runs the show yelling in Greek 
   at the old Geezers who call in to yell back at him, also in 
   Greek, is funnier than hell. Greeks must be born half-deaf. 
 * Radio Canada is on 9.515 MHz. CBC Vancover (Canada) is on 6.160 
   MHz but Voice of America recently muscled its way onto this 
   frequency and clobbers CBC's signal on and off during the day. 
   Probably cheap revenge for Canada's unwillingness to kiss Uncle 
   Sammy's ass over Iraq. VOA sucks - All Bullshit, All the Time. 
   Sieg Heil y'all!
 Evening:
 * The 5-8 pm slot is prime-time of sorts on shortwave. Deutsche 
   Welle in Germany and Radio Netherlands (11.820 MHz) have terrific 
   news programs in English and always have lots of Footie news. 
   Radio Spain, Radio Sweden, Radio Havana Cuba and many, many others
   also are in there. The BBC totally sucks now. They've adopted 
   the American Paradigm of making the news up rather than reporting 
   it. Fortunately they are reducing their shortwave presence to
   North America for budget reasons. Good riddence.
 * There's a wide variety of other stuff well worth listening to in 
   the evenings: classical Asian music and Chinese lessons from Radio 
   Taipei Taiwam (9.680 MHz), Islamic chanting (11.675 MHz), South 
   American soccer play-by-play, mysterious Numbers Stations passing 
   baseball scores to secret agents and spies, etc. etc.
 Night:
 * Radio New Zealand on 9.820 MHz comes in loud and clear starting
   around 10pm and into the wee hours of the morning with what is 
   now the best news in Oceania and Asia. China Radio International 
   is still less than candid; Radio Japan is lost in the Ozone and 
   Radio Australia is pure fluff. But the Kiwis dish it out Straight 
   Up and Neat - no mixer. Lots of amazingly Cool music from that 
   part of the world too. Where else are you going to be able to find 
   out what's happening in American Samoa and Guam? Certainly not on 
   VOA or any other American radio station.

 There's also lots of utility stuff on shortwave.
 * Aviation weather on 8.828 MHz USB is kinda Cool. They loop terminal 
   reports from all up and down the west coast for the trans-Pacific 
   flights. The rare in-flight emergency also gets dealt with here. 
   Just recently I listened to Quantas deal with a Fat Lady who had a 
   heart-attack enroute. They quickly dug up a doctor who advised the 
   attendants over-the-air on how to deal with her until they landed. 
   I'd have given the fat slob Emergency Liposuction with a Dust Buster
   to relieve the pressure on her heart. Works everytime.
 * "Triple One Upper" at 11.175 MHz USB (8.992 MHz night), the Military 
   Airlift Command's main freqs, can be interesting when our hillbilly 
   Paycheck Patriots are mugging someone. The eerie "Sky KIng" encrypted 
   voice messages to the B-52s that have been eternally circling around 
   for decades waiting to nuke someone, is an excellent reminder of just 
   how frik'n wacko we truely are.
 * 4.125 MHz USB is the main maritime contact frequency for our coast 
   and into the Gulf of Alaska. Both our own and the Canuks Coasties 
   are often heard along with commercial fishers, cruise ships and what
   not. The Gulf of Alaska ranks as one of the roughest waters in the
   world so, particularly in winter, it can get pretty exciting.
 * Any time I need the PRECISE time, there's WWV/WWVH at 5, 10, 15 and 
   20 MHz with their atomic clock. At regular intervals during each hour 
   they also throw in weather, solar/geo and GPS satellite condition 
   reports. If it's a guy's voice it's Ft. Collins, CO; if it's a woman's 
   voice it's Honolulu. An instant clue about which way the Solar Wind 
   is blowing.

 The religious nuts and milita nazis can be entertaining to listen to. 
 Dr. Gene Nelson sanctimoniously bellers and stomps around for hours 
 at a time spewing no end of religious nonsense to the ignorant 
 hillbillies in his audience. I think he's the guy Art Bell sued a few 
 years ago. Didn't slow him down for a second. The Catholic EWTN with 
 crazy old Mother Angelica sweetly bemoaning what sinful bastards we 
 are in her kindly 'old granny' voice, before it suddenly deepens 
 dramatically to describe how we'll pay for it. There are various
 right-wing wackos bitching about black-helicopters, Nigras, Wetbacks 
 and what not. There are tons and tons of others. All are American, 
 of course. Nobody else in the world gives their nutcases radio 
 licences to play with. Just us.

 The Ham Radio frequencies used to be pretty interesting to listen in
 to. But now it's almost entirely 'contesting': operators exchanging
 signal reports, locations and serial numbers before moving on to the
 next contact. They don't 'rag chew' much like they used to and many
 of the old nets are history. Few of them have any technical expertise 
 to speak of. The FCC Dumbied Down the licence requirements to where 
 8-years old can pass their exams now.

 The Ham Radio bands are the last surviving bastion of Morse Code. It 
 can still heard on the American Radio Relay League's daily bulletins 
 (www.arrl.org for latest schedule and frequencies) and the parts of
 the Ham bands allocated to CW. Much of the latter is machine-generated
 by someone typing away at their computer keyboard. There aren't many 
 genuine Brass Pounders left. 
 
...............................................................................

                   I and Somalia against the world,
                   I and my clan against Somalia,
                   I and my family against the clan,
                   I and my brother against the family,
                   I against my brother.

                       - Somalian Proverb -

...............................................................................

                        'OL YELLER'S TWAT
                 (aka The War Against Terrorism)

 President Yellowbelly's sophisticated new "Everybody's A Whore" foreign
 policy strategy has made him "Pimp Daddy" to the world. But like many
 a new pimp, he's having trouble keeping his bitches under control. Take
 for instance that fat ugly whore of his in Israel - Sherelle Sharon. 
 The bitch just laughted in General Powell's face when he told him/her/
 whatever to back off on the West Bank. Yeller had to personally slap 
 Sharelle around a little to get some cooperation. She was making 
 General Shoeshine look like a Chump. Which he is, of course, but we 
 don't want EVERYBODY to know that. Why can't Sharelle be nice like 
 Sammy's Ho's in Russia, Egypt, Turkey, Jordan, Kuwait and that nice 
 Pope and Dalai Lama? Sure they all old and ugly but they'd do anything
 for a buck. An-knee-thing.

 The favorite pasttime in Iraq these days is trying to figure out just 
 which traitor(s) sold them out before the big showdown in Baghdad. Was
 the elusive and still-unfound Saddam one of our secret employees? Was
 it one of his Republican Guard generals? The Fickle Finger of Infamy
 was pointed this week at Saddam's cousin General Maher Sufian al-Tikriti
 who was allegedly killed shortly before being seen boarding a flight
 to an undisclosed US base in the Middle East. Dead people do the dangest
 things these days eh. Somehow I find it improbable that as the Iraqi
 army sat there surrounded by an American invasion force, psyched up 
 for a final blow-out, some general told them to lay down their arms 
 and let us kick the crap out of them; and they obediently did. Nah. 
 The Official Lie don't compute. Something else happened. 

 Meanwhile, everyone is pretty much ignoring our new Iraqi Hegemon. 
 Between the armed gangs that have taken over Baghdad and the increasingly
 aggressive Islamic private armies, we don't control much. In fact,
 Our Boys have become everyone's favorite target. Two of our Hillbillies
 got a free trip home in a body bag this week as attacks on US forces 
 increase in number and intensity. Off'n American Pigs has become a
 new Iraqi sport.

 Phase II has begun. 
 
 We've cut off diplomatic relations with Iran in preparation for the
 2004 President Election Campaign. As our economic situation stateside 
 continues to deteriorate and deepen, Yeller's going to need another 
 diversion real bad, real soon what with elections coming up. Besides
 all those newly unemployed people need some entertainment to take
 their minds off their troubles. Watching our hillbillies in uniform
 slaughter off a few thousand more helpless Ragheads ought to give 
 'em a Woody or two. The Pope, the UN, the Euros, the anti-war 
 movement are all an easily ignorable joke. None of them are going
 to do anything to stop Yellowbelly.


.........................................................................

                     -  MONDO VATICANO -

 Got a pesky bishop who invited himself to your graduate commencement
 ceremonies and want to dump him? It's easy - just invite a Pro Choice
 speaker. At least four bishops have backed out of such shindigs that
 way so far. The same hypocrites who readily aided and abetted known 
 perverts as they diddled and raped the parish kids, now are trying to 
 Sling themselves as too morally superior to share a rostrum with a Pro 
 Choice speaker who would allow women to make their own choices about 
 their own bodies. Who do they think they're kidding?

                               +

 Nigerian Cardinal Arinze who has been actively campaigning to become
 the next Pope after the Pollock kicks the bucket, got invited by the 
 the Jesuits to give the commencement address at Georgetown University's
 graduation. He was supposed to speak on Christian-Muslim relations.
 Instead, he launched into a highly embarassing Gay Bashing routine that 
 had everyone scrambling for their Barf Bags. Theresa Sanders, a theology
 prof, got up and walked out in the middle of his rant as did a number 
 of others. Afterwards, most of the faculty were feverishly trying to
 diassociate themselves from this idiot. Somebody stick him in his UFO
 and blast him back to Planet Mondo Vaticano eh. 

                                +

 Gosh! It seems like only a month or so ago the Jesuit's newspaper
 "Civilta Catholica" was saying it was absolutely certain the American 
 Mugging of Iraq was a Justified War under Canon Law. Perhaps because 
 they DID. Well, now that it's all over and it has become obvious that 
 America lied about the weapons of mass-destruction and pretty much
 everything else; now that the Vatican's Curia Queens and JP-2 realize
 they got royally schnookered by Cardinal Dulles and his neo-fascist 
 American buddies as well as lied to by US Secretary of State Powell, 
 it's time to re-write the history books. After careful reconsideration,
 the Jesuits have decided it definitely was NOT a Justified War. They're 
 sure this time. And I'm just as certain that 50 or 100 years from now
 if you check back, this will be the only reference to their stand on
 our Mugging. If you want to find the earlier one, you'll have to dig
 for it cuz it'll be buried - deeply.

                                +

 With his Lay Review Board quitting enmasse and the L.A. District
 Attorney's Office breathing down his neck, Cardinal Roger "The 
 Dodger" Mahony had to think of some way to re-Spin his Pervert
 Priest mess so he'd come out smelling pretty. I know! Why not kill
 a number of birds with one stone? Yes - a Victim's Chapel in his
 new Our Lady of Cocaine Cathedral! Temporary, of course, so that
 it can quietly be rededicated to a nobler cause after the Heat's
 off. Instead of the money being wasted on some whiny victim, it
 stays In-House as an attractive enhancement of OLC, and the briilant
 (but modest) Cardinal who inspired it. And it provides another
 venue through which to launder a little more of that money donated
 for his political interventions of behalf of the drug-dealing
 scumbag sons of his richer parishoners. Like that incident that 
 unfortunately leaked out to the Media a couple years ago. 

 I got a better idea Rog. Instead of trying to slime your way around
 the DA Office, just deal straight up with them and give them what
 they require so justice may be served regardless of how bad it may
 make you look. Instead of raping the young victims a second time 
 and screwing them out of proper compensation to help them deal 
 with the severe emotional trauma your Pervert Priests inflicted on 
 them (with your compassionate assistance), just deal straight with 
 them and help them straighten out their young lives. Instead of 
 wasting everyone's time and your diocese's supposedly limited funds 
 with these stupid PR stunts meant to enhance your personal image, 
 cut the crap and take care of business. 

 Get a soul, jerkoff.

 BTW -
 Fr. Siggie the Pervert won't be diddling kiddies any more. On the
 lam for the past few months from over 40 molestation charges, the
 cops finally caught up him at a hotel near the Mexican border. As 
 they closed in on him, he jumped to his death from his fourth story 
 room. Auf wiedersehn Sigge. 

 Another one of the Pollock Priests shipped over to America to help
 out with the severe shortage, got nabbed on morals charges. Fr. 
 Wadyslaw Marczynski got arrested by Michigan State Police in a
 park outside Traverse City while engaged in a sex act with another
 man. Hell, why not just do it in the middle of the street so 
 everybody can see. That's the second one. Worse, both morons 
 pulled their tricks AFTER the Pervert Priest Scandal broke. Doh! 
 Aside from having the morals of stray dogs, Pollocks ain't too 
 bright eh.

                              +

 The Vatican Gestapo continues to weed out the Enemy Within by
 sticking it to any priests who dared criticize the botched
 mess they made of the Pervert Priest Scandal. Last week it was
 Fr. Groden in Boston who bad-mouthed Cardinal Bernie "The Pimp"
 Law.

 This week's lucky victim is Fr. Bob Hoatson at Our Lady of Good
 Counsel (how ironic eh) in New Jersey. Fr. Bob's the guy who
 recently expressed his scepticism about the Vatican's sincerity
 in weeding out Pervert Priests by saying, "We're talking about 
 abuse that is embedded in the culture. It's rampant and we've 
 got to stop it." That little slip of the tongue cost him his job 
 as principal at his parish school and maybe even his priesthood. 
 His slimebag Wop of a Bishop - Art Serratelli - suddenly found 
 alleged irregularities in the parish finances and canned Fr. Bob's 
 ass on the spot. It, of course, had nothing to do with Fr. Bob's
 criticism. Just a weird cooincidence. Wop Bishops think everybody's 
 as stupid as they are. What a Gumba.

 You really got to be crazy to give these slimey bastards a cent
 of your money. After all we've been through, not a goddam one
 of them has learned a thing. It's still the same stupid tricks.
 They really aren't going to learn anything until their purse
 strings get snipped. Money is the only language they understand.
 God, religion, morality all mean less than nothing to these
 soulless, buck-sucking pricks.

---------------------------------------------------------------
 This whatever-it-is operates under the patented Daily Bleed
 "anti-CopyRite 2000-3000". More or less. As the product of
 my imagination, I retain full pecuniary rights. You make any
 money off it, I better get my fair share. My lawyer, the Ginzu
 Viking, Dr. Yoshi Rasmussan LLD, anxiously awaits the chance
 to rat-fuck you and your heirs unto eternity if you even think
 of trying to screw me over. Otherwise, help yourself.
~---------------------------------------------------------------
 MAIL:    tofoggymoment@yahoo.com
 (Only checked when feeling self-abusive.)
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