Pagan parenting - two words that elicit all sorts of emotions from everyone who hears them. Confusion, trepidation, uncertainty….just exactly what is Pagan parenting and how the heck do we do it? Should we instill our values and beliefs in our children? Will it do more harm than good? What about teasing at school? How open should we be…how open should we tell our children to be? Do we have to be out of the closet in order to raise our children Pagan? Are there guidelines somewhere that will tell us how to do this? Are we bad Pagans if we don't raise little witchlets???

Questions, questions. And the answers are, well, subjective. ::grin:: I am by no means an expert, but I am a Pagan and a Celtic Witch and I'm raising both my boys in the Craft tradition. I want to try to answer some of these questions through my experience and hopefully help someone to make a few decisions of their own. Remember, good parenting is the same for all religions. Be involved, love your children, guide them through the pitfalls of life as best you can, and let them fly free when the time comes. Pagan parenting is adding a spiritual dimension to their lives just like a Christian, Buddhist, Moslem, etc. parent does. You're not going to warp your children for life just because you teach them about the male/female duality of life and the Gods. Whether they eventually decide that Paganism is the path for them or not, they will appreciate the effort you made to expand their spiritual horizons.

First off, I'll say that my husband is not a practicing Pagan or Witch. In fact, he's not a practicing anything! But he fully supports me in my spiritual choice and backs me up 100% with what I teach the children. Obviously, spousal support is an invaluable aid on this path. So this article will express the viewpoint of someone who can be open in their own home about Paganism.

So, should we instill our values and beliefs in our children? The answer is a resounding yes! In fact, experts have said that children need that spiritual foundation in life. It really doesn't matter what your beliefs are, it's important to your children to know that you believe in something. I firmly believe that the time for children to make their own religious choice comes much later in life. Probably the teenage years are when most children start questioning their parent's beliefs. With young children it's very confusing to have myriad religions described to them. I believe it's in the best interest of the children to be as thorough as you can about your beliefs and only touch briefly on others - more of an illustration of the differences than a full explanation. i.e. "Yes, the Christian religion does that, and here's how we believe." Children get a sense of comfort and belonging when they can see examples of your beliefs in daily life. When they have a problem, try to relate something of Paganism in your suggestion of a solution. There are many, many small ways to instill Pagan values in children that don't need a lot of preparation. Discuss the changing seasons, go on nature walks, talk about prayer and meditation, etc. Read the children myths and fables, stories of different Gods and Goddesses. I read the boys bedtime stories every night and we've covered Greek myths, African myths, Aesop's fables, and modern fantasy. If you are truly "walking the walk" then sharing with your children will become a natural part of your life.

I was raised nominally Christian, but I was also raised to believe that religion is a private, very personal thing that shouldn't be shared with others. My parents believe that no one has the right to tell someone else that they are wrong in their beliefs and now I'm a fanatic about that. So I tell my children the same thing. This goes a long way keeping things private at school. Although my oldest son has run across religious intolerance from another classmate. It was very upsetting for him and for me too. I had no idea I'd have to deal with preaching from another child at such a young age! But calm discussion helped him understand why some people feel the need to try and convert others and he was able to deal with the other child firmly. A simple, "I don't want to discuss religion" is usually enough to quiet the other child. Or if that doesn't work, a word to the teacher can help too.

I volunteer at my son's school every week in each of their classes. Do you want to dispel some of the myths surrounding Pagans and Witchcraft? Then go out there & be as "normal" as you can! I'm the typical stay at home Mom. I bake cookies for class treats and help in the classrooms two mornings a week. I am a caring, involved parent and the teachers and administration see me as such. I feel that my actions are the best testament I can give for the validity of my path. I'm not saying you can't wear your leathers and body piercings to school, but be prepared for the negativity that will engender. No, it's not fair that you are judged by your appearance, but it's a sad fact of life sometimes. I'm not copping out and yes, sometimes I wear my pentagram to the school. Again, you just have to be prepared to deal with strange looks and questions. Having a calm answer ready will go a long way in fostering understanding. Of course, where you live will have a great bearing on what is deemed mainstream and what is "weird." I'm am lucky enough to live in an area that is more open than most.

Which brings us to the question of coming out of the broom closet. I do understand why some believe that it's necessary to stay hidden where they live. But….and this is a big "but." In my opinion, our religion will never be accepted if we hide it away behind closed doors. And our children will grow up with the feeling that there is something just a little "wrong" with a religion that must be secret. I don't flaunt my religion but I will answer questions truthfully when asked. Lying about what I believe for the sake of comfort isn't something I can do. And riding on the coattails of those who DO choose to "come out," enjoying the freedoms someone else fought hard to obtain without any work on my part makes me very uncomfortable. There are laws to protect religious freedom, any religion. And frankly, my children could never respect religious hypocrisy on my part. This is part of my personal belief system and my covenant with my Gods. Your situation may call for different actions, of course.

There aren't any guidelines, no Sunday school classes, no established catechism to help us in raising our children in the Craft. There are several good books on Pagan parenting which I will list at the bottom of this article. But in the final analysis, you have to do what you feel is right for your children and your situation. Try not to second guess yourself too much. If it feels right to involve your children in ritual and they are interested, then by all means let them join the circle. Give them small duties to make them feel a part of the proceedings - always mindful of health precautions of course. Help them construct their own altars in their room. Teach them to ground themselves and meditate - both very useful for very active children! But above all, let them see for themselves how your religion has changed you for the better. Let them see your connection with the earth and the respectful way you perform magic. Involve them with your prayers when you can and show them how to talk to Deity on an every day basis. You'll be surprised to find that children know so much instinctively if they are given an open environment in which to explore.

As my children get older I find it's natural to start including them more often in my activities. They've been lending their energy to my house cleansings for some time and now they've begun aiding in simple protection spells for our property. I've used magick to help them break a cycle of bad dreams and I've done candle magick to aid my oldest in getting over a tough time at school. I explain what I'm doing and why as long as they're interested. Too often parents offer long involved explanations when a short simple one will do. Be careful not to drone on and on indefinitely. Give your children a to-the-point answer and then wait for questions. If none are forthcoming, then drop the subject for the time being. You can always come back to it. You don't need to teach everything at one sitting! As to when to introduce certain subjects, let your children be your guide. My oldest is very intense with lots of energy. I found that I needed to show him meditation techniques and calming exercises at a fairly early age. My youngest is more grounded to begin with so I haven't worked with him as much in this area. Each child is different so it's very important to pay attention to their cues.

Finally, Pagan parenting has added a new dimension to my own practice of the Craft that is priceless. Having to explain "why" magick works to a 4 year old can really test your own perceptions of what is true! The Craft to children is basic. A + B = C. And yet they have the imagination and wonder that enables them to believe absolutely in the possibilities the Craft has to offer. The rewards in Pagan parenting are endless and far outweigh any problems met along the way. If you enjoy your children and teach them the wonder of our world and the blessings of the Gods, then tomorrow will be much better than today.

Peace - Bronwyn