PRESENTATION: STANDING COMMITTEE ON SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT
Bullying
by Blair Ross
Wednesday, February 12, 2003 7:45pm
I have been labelled a BULLY since my first day of incarceration upon arriving at the orphanage in 1962. At 2 years old I tried to remove the matron’s hand with my teeth. Perceiving to know, even at that young age, the trauma I am enduring for the rest of my life.
In 1962 the Mt. Herbert Orphanage was a provincially run residential school. From 1962 on, I live with experiences subjected to me from others. Inhumane “bullying” by staff, by visitors and also by the other inmates. Inmates, continuing what they were taught, which was: children were to be seen, but not heard, to only speak when spoken to and if you ran away from this torture you paid the price for that. The inmates were characterized as the problem. We were told that we would never amount to anything, while being treated worst than animals. We were emotionally, physically, sexually, socially and spiritually abused. It was impossible to amount to anything, when assistance asked for, in any way, shape or form, was ignored. As a reward we received beatings, we would be locked
in either a cold cellar, the basement or the attic, for hours, sometimes days.
There were unspeakable events, sacrifices, unbearable torture. Shock treatments were administered, as well as drugs, numerous experimentation, all in the name of science, have a look at Dr. Malcolm Beck’s extensive 1967 study and his other accomplishments.
My mother worked at the Orphanage, she paid to have her children protected, out of her provincial pay cheque. Instead of protection and care, they were tortured, while she tried to educated herself, care for her children and see that they were removed from this provincially controlled institution.
I am glad to be a part of statistics of Beck’s study, but we are still asking for assistance, education, justice. I think it is very fitting to stand here today, to finally tell and to ask all of you “bullies” to now stop what you are doing. Legislated rules, regulations, abuse. When it comes to children, protection, education, a healthy environment that is a place where all humane human beings could be able to live helping each other. This is what we have elected people to do. There is no way
possible, with this polluted environment that elected officials have created, who had a duty to care for and protect all children in their custody, legislated, but never implemented, can be justified as legitimate. The non implementation of the rules and regulations that have been put in place to protect all the people, in all walks of life, especially the children, is pre-meditated. Stop being bullies. When will I and the rest of the children be able to say no, and to say stop and it be heard.
Bullying is what I came here to talk to you about today, it seems to me, that you have it down to a science.
In 1965 at 5 ½ years old, I entered the PEI Educational System and I am still asking to be educated today. I was also at this time involved with the Department of Health and Social Services. Every time that I asked for help, because of emotional, physical, sexual, social and spiritual trauma experienced as an inmate at the orphanage, I was told that I was the problem. The justice system in an agreement removed me from my mother’s care and gave custody to my father. For 10 years the educational, justice and the health system on Prince Edward Island knew and
allowed the abuse to continue for me, at the hands of my father.
They had knowledge of what my physical home life was like, which was extreme physical and mental abuse. Dr. Beck administered drugs and tried to control me instead of
allowing me to speak and deal with the trauma, that he was well aware of, experienced by me at the orphanage and again in my own home. He wanted to ensure that this white supremacy ring could continue, I wanted to ensure my safety. Taking care of myself and others since the age of sixteen(16) was my only solution.
Left to my own devices, I have made a few mistakes.
The PEI Mt. Herbert Trust for the orphans was never administered, but funds were collected since 1921. The trust was made up of so-called prominent freemasons, ordained ministers and other prominent members of six churches, who perpetrated unspeakable trauma on vulnerable inmates, bought, sold, disposed of.
Still to this day, I am being bullied by the RCMP and the City of Charlottetown Police due to the lack of an investigation into the criminal allegations of, to say the
least, 58 known plaintiffs of Mt. Herbert Orphanage inmates who have come
forward so far. I thank them for their courage, strength and perseverance. Out of this adversity, justice will prevail.
After leaving the orphanage, I was re-traumatized at home and in the educational system with principles and teachers who thought it was OK to bully, thus abuse a
child. A child who was only asking for help.Over 40 years of going through each
and every governmental system imaginable, education, health, included addictions,
justice, workers compensation, etc., conclusions from all departments that are
collecting revenue to assist society, state that I am the problem, with no hope in hell of ever receiving any assistance or justice within this Canadian system of legislated control.
Even with the abuse that I have endured, I have always been able to help others. I have kept my children and the children of others safe. I have been forced to help other children and adults, who are in need, because of the bullies in front of us today, past and present, who only make problems worse. The only reason that
I continue is so that there will be a future, hope, life, liberty.
PROVINCIAL AND FEDERAL CANADIAN GOVERNMENTS HAVE LEGISLATED AND CONTROLLED, ALCOHOL, DRUGS, TOBACCO, ABUSE US AND THEN, WHEN WE USE OR ABUSE THEIR PRODUCTS, IMPRISON US, PUT US ON TREATMENT PLANS THAT REALLY MEAN:
SELF-HELP, YOU CAN SIMPLY ABSTAIN FROM GOVERNMENT CONTROLLED PRODUCTS. BECAUSE THIS WAS NEVER STOPPED NOW WE HAVE MORE CHEMICALS AND MORE UNIDENTIFIED CARCINOGENS, TOLD THAT THEY ARE AT ACCEPTABLE LEVELS, ACCEPTABLE LEVELS FOR WHO? AGAIN WE ARE PART OF THE ON GOING SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTATION AND CONTROL. GENETICALLY MODIFIED FOODS, FOODS WITH HORMONES, PESTICIDES, INSECTICIDES, FUNGICIDES, ...LEGITIMATE WHITE SUPREMACY CONTROL.
I thank you for your time, will you please stop this bullying, you have all assisted in creating the problems that have kept SOCIETY from evolving into self-actualized human beings.
Bullying
by Deborah Kelly Hawkes, currently founding the PEI Fundamental Human Rights Party
Wednesday, February 12, 2003 7:45pm
I am a trauma counsellor, who specializes in sexual trauma. Working on sexual trauma issues with others has helped me to become a spiritual woman, so I also refer to myself as a spiritual guide. I am also a single-parent since 1995, with two boy children. Both children now play hockey. I involve myself with positive parenting. Everywhere , you read how labelling a child, can cause negative affects, yet this presentation is on bullying. Other words to replace the word “bully” from my computer include: browbeat, control, domineer, harass, trample, tyrannize, dominate, intimidate, threaten, boss, scold, menace, oppress, terrorize, persecutor, ruffian, terror and tormentor. All of these words are learned behaviour. I have a handout, that I use in positive parenting sessions, that speaks to the harmful effects of negative labels. I have a handout, that speaks to the fact that: if a child is loved they will love, if a child is criticized, they will criticize. 98 Ways to say Very Good, Wanted: parent, Let children be children and the Healing Power of Touch.
This is nothing new, we know this to be true. A child, under 12 years old, is hardly responsible for their actions, as they are, for the most part, under the control of adults. Children you are left on their own, under the age of 12, could become prey to all kinds of harm. Anyone, at any age, who behaves in a manner that is negative to themselves or to another is crying out for help. They are showing us exactly what has happened to them in the past or what they believe they must do, to get the attention that they need, in order to get the help that they need.
I have always known this. As an 8 year old child in the second grade , I walked some first graders to school because they were being tormented by the so-called neighbourhood bully. It hardly took a rocket scientist to look at how he was being treated in his home by his father, mother, brothers and other family members. We learned that there was safety in numbers and to be alone was vulnerable. I learned from my own children one day when I was dealing with fear and growled and grabbed at my oldest child, before sending the two of them out to play. Looking out the window, I saw for myself the outcome of my behaviour.
My eldest child was growling at and grabbing at his younger brother. I went outside to comfort my youngest child who was crying, however, then I comforted my oldest child for what I had done to him. They both needed to be comforted and so did I. So I then took some time for myself to comfort myself with kind words, instead of my usual way of comforting myself in those days, which was eating. I remembered that day, when my oldest son came home from kindergarten and snatched a toy away from his younger brother. I knew that he could have had a toy snatched away from him, by another child. I learned to talk about his day at school and did someone snatch a toy away from him, as he did to his brother. We had a good humour chair.
When a friend of my son’s was kicking him, the next time I went to the school, I mentioned to the boy that my son had told me that he was kicking him. I told him, that because he kicked my son that perhaps someone could be kicking him, or that something was up that he needed some help. I told him to get the help he needed by telling someone he knew or that he could ask me to help him and I would.
I have thought that all of these statements to children to tell someone are setting the child up to fail, if there is no one in their lives to tell. When my son was in the second grade, the teacher asked me to come and speak to the children. One of their classmates was hurting them, sometimes very seriously by pushing them up against the wall. This child had a father who had recently killed himself. This child had a father who used drugs and alcohol to conceal the pain from the trauma that he experienced as a child, or to feel “no fear” while under the influence. This child, his son, was now crying out for help. So everyone got in a circle, the children, myself and the teachers and we talked about how someone could be feeling when they hurt another. We talked about what did we each do to comfort ourselves or to comfort another. We talked about what we needed as human beings to be healthy. These children knew everything. There was nothing for me to teach them. I just needed to remind them that when someone hurts us they are crying for help, and if they are able to hurt us, then we need some help too.
My two children, taught me, what my life was like as a child, having an older brother, who took out on me, how he was being treated in his world. I comforted myself along with my children and we grew to be healthy individuals together. Still we have to live in this world. We live with fear, however, we have learned to love ourselves, no matter what. A simple rule to remember is that human beings either behave with love or with fear. When we behave with love, we are loving, when we behave with fear, we are fearful.
As a counsellor, I knew that individuals deal with trauma in their individual ways, however, some ways are universal. Memories of the trauma that we experienced in childhood can be triggered by the five senses. By what we see, hear, smell, taste and touch. Sometimes you are having an off day and you may have no idea why. This is due to a trigger. Children miss very little. If you were dealing with trauma in the springtime, then the on coming of spring each and every year, could bring back body memories for you, without the actual conscious memory that we may think we should have to accompany our behaviour.
I had another experience where I had to write to a principle of an elementary school here on PEI. We need to be aware of our own actions first. I reminded this principle that a student in his school had the right to be there. He had the right to be treated with the utmost of respect and dignity. He needed to be kept safe. When the principle spoke to him he needed to get the feeling yes, when he touched him, he needed to get the feeling yes. I mentioned to the guidance counsellor that when he needed to get out of the classroom, he needed a room that he could feel safe in that he could need to listen to healing music, to calm him. I gave them two cassette tapes. The boy told me that they never gave him the opportunity to calm himself in this way. Some children and adults are unable to be social, all the time, that they are in the presence of others. They need to have a place to escape to, to be alone, to gather the strength to again go out into the world, along with others. Often a world, being controlled by those who are unconscious of the fact that they feel disconnected to others, that they need to get away for a few minutes to comfort themselves, to calm themselves, so that they too, could be out in the world with others.
The PEI Fundamental Rights Party, would guarantee that everyone could receive an education in a safe, healing space. With music, art and dancing as part of the curriculum, as well as sports. We have the knowledge of how the brain works the best, it is time to put this knowledge to work for every person living on Prince Edward Island.
We can learn about human behaviour by looking at traditional native law. I have a handout with me today that states: The relationship between individuals - their utter dependence on one another - is paramount. If someone commits an offence, the underlying reason is that they have become disconnected from the larger community and thus oblivious to the consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, it is stated that many people come to the conclusion that they are alone and unconnected, that they make no difference in the world, that they have no role in anything larger than themselves, no significance beyond themselves. If they come to conclusions like this, they live desperate lives and often fall into self-abuse and the abuse of others.
I have another theory. I theorize that human beings are both masculine and feminine, in one body. Men, being masculine, are challenged to incorporate their feminine side. Women, being feminine, are challenged to incorporate their masculine side. The masculine part is the part that does things, that needs to do, to feel needed. Our feminine part, however, asks the question, what is the consequence of that doing? When we deny the feminine part of ourselves we live in a world where we do, do, do with no thought to the consequences of our actions. When we deny the masculine part of ourselves, we are unable to do very much. Thus I come to another of my handouts. Let’s Talk Families! Editorial: The Watchers. This handout speaks to the concept of those who are watching another human being gaining power and control at the expense of another person, animal or thing. This handout mentions the fact that often the lesson learned is that when we allow the situation to continue because of fear or, whatever the reason, we are condoning or encouraging these actions. We become an accomplice with them. I have never been able to see another hurt themselves or hurt another person, animal or thing without doing something to stop it.
I have always known, when another hurts another it is symbolic of how they hurt themselves. I know that they are in fear. I know that I need to remind them to comfort themselves, that I need to comfort them with kind words and actions. I have another handout Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. This was designed and thought about many, many years ago. We know this to be true. That human beings must have their physical needs met as a foundation for the next level. These needs include: hunger, thirst, sex and sleep. We need to satisfy the biological demands of the human organism, to have necessary oxygen, water, food, shelter, sleep and exercise. The next level is our safety needs. We need to feel safe and secure in a specific environment. We need to achieve freedom from fear or deprivation, danger and threat as a foundation for the next level. Love Needs, affection, belonging, social needs. To achieve gregariousness and social interaction human beings need to group together. To associate, to belong and to participate as a foundation for the next level. Esteem, achievement and worth as a person. To achieve a reputation, self-respect and self-esteem. To hold ourselves in the highest regard. To treat ourselves like we would treat another.
We need to receive respect, recognition and status as a unique human being in order to have a foundation for the next level. Self-actualization, to realize total individual potential, to liberate creative talents, to make the widest possible use of abilities and aptitudes...in short, to achieve personal fulfilment. Which brings me to my other handouts and why it is so important to me to end poverty on Prince Edward Island first, and then in the world. The Speaking Notes for Premier Binns on September 13, 2002 for the Festival of the Home Children, the Minimum Wage Order, a letter I wrote in regards to the Addiction Research Division Centre in Montague, and the walls come tumbling down and my declaration of war against members of the PEI Legislature and their accomplices. As human beings we need our physical needs met. Low minimum wages ensure others living with us on Prince Edward Island are denied their basic fundamental right to having their physical needs met. Low financial assistance rates ensure others living with us on Prince Edward Island are denied their basic fundamental right to having their physical needs met.
Legislators and judicial representatives who allow this to continue have experienced trauma in their lives and they need to heal. When physical needs are unable to be met, safety needs will also lapse, as well as love needs, esteem and self-actualization. We know this to be true.
The PEI Fundamental Rights Party will no longer use the word Addictions. The word that fits more appropriately is Distractions. We distract ourselves from feeling pain by using drugs. For example if we have a headache, we have pain, we take aspirin. We distract ourselves from feeling pain by using alcohol. Needing alcohol or drugs to give us the feeling of having no fear so we can go out into the world, is the way our spiritual self is trying to tell us to stay hidden. If one has to drink to go out to socialize with others, it is better to stay at home and comfort ourselves. This is a good clue that one is dealing with trauma. We distract ourselves from feeling pain by gambling, by sex. We comfort ourselves with food and sex in particular, because food and sex fulfill the five senses.
Those adults who wish to force the drug ritalin on children are prone to use drugs themselves. There are too many negative side affects to even think about giving a child a drug for their behaviour. There are many ways to calm the beast in all of
us, healthy ways that have no negative side affects. This is our aim, this is our goal.
The PEI Fundamental Rights Party will do away with punishments for controlling people who are merely crying for help. The Provincial Correctional Centre will be condemned. However, we do need to keep people safe from themselves first and then from others and others perhaps from them. This will be done, in an atmosphere of love, understanding and care. There will be healing music and the opportunity for artistic endeavours all of which we know heals the beast within.
Human Beings need GAS to thrive: G = Guidance, A = Assurance, S = Support
Yet, I am given no income for my work, I am being forced to endure immeasurable hardship in order to counsel low income individuals and families. Individuals and families who harm the world the least, yet are treated in the most inhumane way possible by our elected officials who represent this county we call CANADA.
For further information about these press releases please contact those now forming The FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS PARTY, Blair Ross, RR#3, Morell (902) 961-3289 or Deborah Kelly Hawkes, RR#2, Montague, (902) 838-3657
