| About a year ago, my Statistics in Psychology professor said that we should all set an alpha level for our future spouses. That is, if certain requirements are not met, we should reject the person as a potential spouse. I began making a list of characteristics and qualities that I would like my future husband to possess, and I would like to share a few of them here. I'm not going to share all of them, since I'd hate for someone to use it as a checklist for winning my heart (or whatever). This is very difficult for me to write about because the future is so uncertain. I don't know if I'll ever find the perfect-for-me husband. These are my most idealistic hopes. And finally, of course, I'm interested in knowing what everyone else would put on his or her manly charm bracelet. |  |
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Anchor
I want my husband to be steady and reliable. No matter what trials I have to face every day in the real world, I hope he'll be there with welcoming arms when I get home, and I want him to be my reason for going home. In return, I will do the same for him, and I will even make creamed spinach. |
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Companion
This charm actually shows a boy carrying books for a girl. While I do not expect my future husband to carry books for me, I do want a lifetime of support and companionship. When I'm old, frail, and arthritic, I hope we'll still be beside one another, each helping the other along. |
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Communication
I want a husband with good communication skills. Whenever we're experiencing a problem in our relationship or outside lives, I want us to discuss the issues openly. The reason why so many misunderstandings occur in life is because few individuals are brave enough to say what they really mean. I don't want to play games in my relationship. |
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Spice
Dude, a handcuff charm? Well, bad boys are too risky. Nice guys are too boring. So I want a husband who's a nice guy with a wild and crazy side. He'll be the syrup on the pancakes, the cheese on the nachos, the one who makes life a bit more interesting to live. |
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Direction
I want my man to have direction in his life. Motivation, self-efficacy, and all those other great psychology words. He doesn't need to have the next 10 years of his life planned already, but I don't want someone who drifts from job to job and has get-rich-quick schemes up his sleeve. Having goals is important. |
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Grooming
What can I say? I like a clean-cut guy. Not everyone can pull off facial hair or long hair. I will never understand other females' fascination with sweaty, long-haired men, as seen in Pirates of the Caribbean or the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I haven't seen any of those movies, so forgive me if they contain no sweaty, long-haired men. |
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Hands
I love guys with good hands, and I love holding hands! Hands are very symbolic...you see them in logos all the time. They stand for support, community, and connection, among other things. Hands seem like very simple things to want from a person, but the right hands just don't come along very often. |
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Kisses
Will you laugh if I admit that I can't remember why I saved this graphic last year? You will? Well, I'll just have to make something up. To me, first kisses are extra special. I hope to have a husband who will treat each kiss as if it were as special as the first. No quick pecks or overkissing for me. Not that "overkissing" is a real word. |
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Knowledge
I definitely want a husband who is smart and intelligent. Nothing will kill the relationship faster than if I have to explain basic concepts to him. Or if I'm constantly rolling my eyes at him behind his back. But if he frequently feels the need to condescend to me, that will also be a problem. |
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Money
I have pretty basic needs, so I don't need a rich husband. What I want is someone who will manage his money wisely. He should also understand my cheapskate ways. Coupons and discounts are my friends. And in return, I promise never to buy 40 pairs of shoes that look almost-but-not-quite-alike. C'mon, people, we only have two feet. |
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Peacemaker
Hearing raised voices terrifies me. This probably comes from living with my very temperamental father. I don't want a husband who tries to start arguments. I'm all for discussing our problems, but I think that should happen in calm conversations. Fights make people sad. |
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Reader
Without a doubt, my husband must enjoy reading books. He also has to understand that I will buy massive amounts of books and spend hours in a bookstore or library. It would be fantastic if we had similar reading tastes, but we could get along without. And I hope I can set up my own private library where the books are neatly organized and displayed. |
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Non-realist
I don't think I could live with anyone who takes everything literally and cannot see beyond reality. I want someone with whom I can speculate about possibilities -- alternate universes, screws with independent thought, secretive lampposts, and other forms of fantasy. A lack of imagination would be so frustrating. |
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Time
This manly charm stands for two things. First, I hope my husband will be willing to make time for me and our relationship. When the real world takes over, it becomes harder to set aside some personal time. I also hope my husband can train me to become punctual. Or to read clocks. |
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Hard worker
I consider myself a hard worker, and I think my husband would have to be, too. He should take initiative and pitch in around the house because I would eventually grow very resentful if I had to do all the housework myself. Also, I am really hoping that I will not become a nag. Nagging is no fun for anyone. |
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Writer
I definitely don't want him to be a professional writer. Hello, competition? But I would like someone who can put his thoughts, ideas, and feelings into words. I love receiving thoughtful letters, cards, and notes -- they seem like tangible memories that you can relive and relish. |
