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Classifieds
1.
Mmm! Tasty! Home Made Mouldy Bread!
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Fred's Forgotten Foods, St. George BLVD, Moncton
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If you like stale home made bread, head down to Fred's Bakery today! Every care is taken in
cultivating this bread and you won't be disappointed. With its rich source of Penicillin why waste your money stuffing yourself with anti-biotics from Shopper Drug Mart? Call 555-FRED.
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2.
FOR SALE! CELEBRITY SOCK!
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Sams Celebrity Socks;
Moncton, NB
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This is a unique collectors item. It dates back to 1975 and was worn by Clint Eastwood. I used to be a housemaid for Clint back in the 70's. During my time I must have accumulated quite a few of Clint's tennis socks. Here is one of them that was worn on his right foot circa 1974-75. Its unwashed. Interested buyers please call 555-4340
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3.
PINK PLASTIC PANTIES FOR ADULT INCONTINENCE
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Marise Panties; Dieppe, NB
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Here are a very very thick pair of Pink Plastic Panties. They were previously worn by my husband who was a big fat bed wetting bastard. They have the elastic inside the plastic for leakage protection and comfort. They will fit waist 38" to 48". Call 555-PANT
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4.
Picked Eggs.
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George St. Pickling Market; Moncton, NB
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One jar of pickled eggs. Fresh. Great for preventing the sudden onset of a swift bowel movement. Call 555-5478
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5.
Garden Grown Carrots.
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Bert's Back Garden Veggies;
Salisbury, NB
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Real Carrotts. Not the genetically modified shit that Loblaws and Sobeys stack on their shelves. These are real. No animal by-products. Grown in my own garden using my own compost. Buy from me and stop these rich bastards selling you there soya filled crap! Call 555-BERT
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6.
Toilet Plunger
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Martin The Magic Plumber;
Miramichi, NB
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Great Bargain. Wooden handled, plastic moulded Toilet and sink plunger. Get plunging and see this shift powerful fecal and hair blockages today. You won't be dissapointed! Call 555-8906
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7.
Private Sale. One Previous owner.
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Mr Johnson;
Moncton, NB
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The wife backed my car into our living room last week and to pay for the cost were rather hoping you could buy our car. Its nice. Its 9 years old and has only got 20,000km's on the clock. We would like $3000.00 to cover the replacement of our siding. Call Ken 555-8906
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8.
LOW! LOW! LOW! BUY! BUY! BUY!
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Chevbury Loundsolds;
Lewisville, NB
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New Brunswicker's would buy shit off a shovel if the price was right!!! that's why were confident some prize pillock will surely buy this!!! Come on down. Take a look! Its perfect except for being rear-ended by a delivery truck. $10,000 sound good eh? Take out another bank loan. Go on BYM (Blow Your Money!) we'll only be too glad to accept!!!
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9.
WOW! SUNKEN CARGO SHIP DEALZ
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Dealz On Wheelz;
Irishtown, NB
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Hot from Europe!!! Great Condition! Diesel engined Peugeot 309 rescued from sunken cargo freighter!
Slight cargo hold roll to the front end. Drive it off my lot for as little as $77,000.00. Call 555-DEALZ
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10.
Mercury Topaz. GOOD AS NEW!!!
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RCMP Drunk Drivers Compound;
Muddyview, NB
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1990 Mercury Topaz, Ford, Lincoln. American built!. 456,000 kms. Good as new. Prepared to sell to good careful driver for $25,000. Clean license only! Must have tow truck as it has been stacked up to save on parking space. Call 555-COPS
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11.
HOT OF THE LOT! BRAND NEW PORCHE!!!
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Steeves Low Dealz;
Irishtown, NB
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WHAAAAAZZZZZAAAAPPP! Call me crazy! I just don't care! This sexy sleek 4 wheeled seductress is yours for only $50,000.00. No exceptions and no guarantees!!! Small dent in the front where my clumsy car detailer parked it against a tree! Call 555-DEALZ
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14.
SUV BLOWOUT SALE!!! 0% DOWN!!!
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Chevbury Loundsolds;
Lewisville, NB
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Get down to your local Chevbury Loundsolds dealer today! Come to Car City the place that sells! Right now were giving away all our SUV's! This little ticket is yours to drive away for $25,000.00 Why? Because our saleperson got in an argument with a horse on the way to the showroom!!!
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Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors
© Copyright 2002-2004 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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