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WHAT'S ON
Skip Manzerak's Live Music Guide.
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Hi Skip Manzerak here. With all your local gig listings and boy were in for some big treats here!
The Ontario Cowpat Ensemble. A threesome consisting of bearded overweight women, slapping their thighs with wooden spoons and singing songs about dough, will be appearing this weekend at The Runny Mud Pavillion in Riverview.
Lucky Jack And The Jockstraps will be jiggling their codpieces in time to some wild tackle slapping tunes at The Manhatten Club, Moncton, Wednesday night. They will also be inviting lucky members of the audience to take part in their sensational song 'The Wedgie'.
Marjorie Heffer and Her Buttocks will be breaking wind this Friday in the Capitol Theatre. Majorie famous for hits like "Flatulence of Fire", "Tornado Toilet Bowl' and "Brewing up A Stink" will also be signing autographs and promoting her new album, "Silent Butt Violent".
ALBUM REVIEWS
Alternative New Brunswick musician 'Speedy Stevie' is back after two years with a follow up to his ground breaking album 'Eh?'
'Productivity' is a collection of typing rhythms that he recorded on his Microsoft keyboard during one of his nighshifts."Its basically me typing bills and invoices". The reclusive artist said during a short phone call. "Er, there are no specific tracks that stand out, just the pitter-patter of my fingers washing over the keys for 60 minutes". I Would urge you to take alisten for yourself. Its truly different.
Scottish folk singer Mad Melvin MacManus, releases his third album "Bagpipes and Scotch" next Monday. Glasgow's ginger bearded balladeer belts out a variety of Highland Hi-jinx's. Tracks from his new album include "Haggis in the Hebrides", "Och Aye Ye Ginger Bastard" and "Hey Nonny-No!". His latest single "Belcher Of The Glens" is currently number one in Canada.
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CELEBRITY GOSSIP
Reviewed By Stella Starr.
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Hi Boys and Grrrls! Stella Starr here! Bringing you all the latest arse-smackin', rib crackin' happenin' gossip from the world of entertainment!
Reports that Christina Mighthavmalaria recently got engaged to a traction engine are wide off the mark according to a reliable source. She is infact romantically linked to a small boiled potato.
Jennifer Lopez is back playing a butt-busting, ass kicking cop in "Buns of Stealth". The rear-wobbling latino, famous for marrying out of insecurity goes on a mission to bring peace and stability to Iraq following the American occupation. Lopez gives a real ass-clenching performance.
Following the success of American Idol comes another great reality show - 'American Inmate'.
Sixteen known death row criminals will outwit, outplay and outkill eachother in a bid to become America's first reality show Inmate. The Prize? A cell in the Marion Supermax penitentiary in illinois.
American Inmate is the brain child of serial killer Chuck Pilaf, spared from death row after an interview with Larry king outlined his TV plans.
"The game is real simple", Chuck said. "We get the worst sixteen offenders on death row, split them into two teams and get them to do all kinds of dangerous games. Each week votes will be cast and the one with the most votes gets killed".The show will air in the fall
OBITUARIES
TV Detective, Miss Muffin Dead at 98
Veronica Monica 'Moonshine' McMuffin, 98, formerly of Moncton, New Brunswick passed away last Friday at the Golden Oldies Home for Old Ladies following a lenthy life.
Born October 2, 1831 in Albert Mines, she was the daughter of the late great Napoleon Bonerparte. She will be sorely missed by her Cat Thomas, her loving companion for over 70 years.
Veronica Monica 'Moonshine' McMuffin or Moonie as her friends called her was best remembered for her TV role 'Miss Muffin, Super Sleuth'. Along with her Cat Thomas she appeared every Sunday night between 1967 and 1975 solving murders and crimes.
She will be buried in a coffin on the slopes of an old coal mound in Albert County, where she grew up.
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