Stardate 52052.7

     Commander Ming strolled into Sickbay.  Mason stood a few meters behind the
EMH and Doctor Wallin.  They were assembling equipment around a bed which 
looked empty.  Glancing at it carefully, however, Ming could tell there was
pressure of weight on the mattress.  She could only assume that Ensign Hindman
was lying there.
     "Doctor Wallin," the EMH said, "I think your technology is compatible with
my equipment.  I'm going to use the universal translator protocols to derive an
interface matrix."
     "Excellent work for a hologram.  If you don't mind, I'd like to review 
the technical specifications for your optical subroutines.  I may be able to
manipulate them so that you can at least see our patient," Wallin said.
     The EMH turned to Mason and Ming for approval.  Mason nodded.  Sensing 
Ming's dismay, Mason muttered quietly, "Hindman's alive and needs our help.  
If anything goes wrong, we can always reprogram the EMH."
     Wallin handed a hypospray to the EMH, "If you inject Hindman with this, 
everyone should be able to see him.  It will also relieve some of the side
effects of his being forced into invisibility."
     The EMH scanned the spray with a tricorder.  "An exothermic 
nytrolblisterine compound?  The Federation has experimented with this substance
but could never reduce the toxicity at the submolecular level, not without 
completely dissolving the compound into a polyfloric gas and rendering it 
useless.  How did you achieve this?"
     "By combining it with a nanopolymer and injecting it through our engines'
plasma manifolds," Wallin said, smiling. "The neutrino bursts saturate the 
toxic particles and negate them, leaving the medical portions of the compound 
intact."
     "I'll need to run an analysis before I can use this," said the EMH.  As he
progressed, Mason stepped up to Wallin.
     "Doctor, I'm honestly curious why you're more open and helpful than Mr. 
Antal.  He's been nothing but courteous to us, and yet.."
     "He's a commanding officer, like yourself," Wallin interrupted, "Friendly
as you may be, you are a new race, and Antal must view you as a possible ally 
of the Wiansani.  For that reason, he holds back.  I, however, am a physician
sworn to assist anyone in need.  I can see and believe with my own eyes that 
poor Hindman is no friend of the Wiansani, only a victim.  I do not have the 
burden of command as my guide, only my conscience."
     Try living with both, thought Ming.
     A moment later, the EMH injected the space where Hindman lay.  For a few 
seconds the air rippled and a body almost appeared.  Ming turned to Mason,
"Sir, as the ship's chief xenobiologist, shouldn't Enoz be down here?"
     "She's supposed to be watching the bridge tonight, but I guess you're 
right.  It'll give her a chance to visit Zenoz as well.  Syxx can mind the 
store since there's nothing happening in Engineering," Mason said.  
     Ming glanced at a bed in the corner where Zenoz lay asleep.  The EMH's 
medicines were not quite as potent as the Oblokoni herbs that Lenoz had 
reported stolen.
     Mason called out, "Enoz to Sickbay, Syxx to the Bridge."  He turned back 
to the doctors, but they were engrossed in manipulating the compound.  Mason 
glanced at Ming, who just shrugged.
     The two strolled out the door.  Mason turned to head to his quarters, but
Ming called out, "Captain, would you care to join me for a walk?", Mason nodded
and joined her.
     "Captain, I'd like to ask you something off the record," said Ming, not
wasting any time.
     "What's on your mind, Rebecca?"
     "This afternoon, the away team.  Were the three of us really the best
picks?  You, me and Enoz?"
     "I needed to be there, since Antal was most familiar with me.  Enoz needed
to be there as our chief science officer and head xenobiologist.  You, I wanted
there for your diplomatic experience.  It may be superior to my own."
     "Yes sir, that may be so, but we had an away team of the..", she stopped
when Syxx ran up.
     "Captain, Commander, is everything all right?", he stuttered.
     "Everything's fine, Mr. Syxx," Mason said calmly, "There's an interesting
scientific situation in Sickbay we thought Enoz might enjoy.  We called you to
the bridge since you were the next ranking officer on duty."
     "Oh," stammered the Bolian, "Then everyone's okay?"
     "Everyone but Ensign Hindman..", started Mason, but Ming cut him off.
     "Enoz is fine, Syxx.  Get to the bridge."
     Syxx glanced back and forth between Mason and Ming like they had just 
caught him with his hands on the dessert replicator, then rushed off.  Ming 
continued walking, picking up where she left off.
     "Sir, we had an away team of the three highest ranking officers on the
ship.  Shouldn't have at least one of us stayed behind?", Mason stopped cold 
in his tracks as soon as she finished her sentence.
     "You're right, Rebecca," he whispered, "I left the Equinox without her
Captain, XO or second officer.  A definite lapse of judgment.  If I've made 
any others, let me know now.  Have I missed anything else lately?"
     "No sir," she said, "I've seen no decrease in your performance lately.  
I just wanted to talk to you about this afternoon."
     They entered a turbolift quietly and proceeded to the aft of the ship.  
As the decks hummed by, Mason gritted his teeth in thought.  The doors opened
and they strolled to rear observation deck.  It was empty.
     "You know, Rebecca, it's good that you caught that.  Insights like that
will serve you well when you get your own command."
     Ming's jaw hit the ground.
     "It's only a matter of time, Commander.  We're losing ships left and right
in this war.  I can't believe you're still an executive officer.  It's not like
I've been fighting with the Admiralty to keep you here."
     Oh thanks, thought Ming.
     "Then again," Mason continued, "come to think of it, they've made no
mention of making you a Captain.  Why is that?"
     Ming sighed and turned to stare out the ports.  She really couldn't 
believe Mason didn't know.  Not wanting to divulge the truth, she tried 
changing the subject.
     "Frank, don't you think I want to be a Captain?  Everyone else on this
ship may be running from the war, but I'm not."  She turned to see Mason
glaring at her, "Captain, I'm not suggesting you personally ran away from the
war.  Remember, we're both former officers of vessels that no longer exist.  I
was thinking more of Enoz, and her triad, and the bloodshed they left behind. 
Or what about Mull and the Bajoran Occupation?  Almost everyone here has
seen some really bad times."
     "That's true," relented Mason, "Overall, this crew has seen an inordinate
number of dark days."  He walked up beside Ming at the window.
     "Captain, there are officers risking and losing their lives to protect the
Federation I've also sworn to serve and defend.  I want very badly to share 
that risk.  If I'm going to live to see the end of this war, I only want to do 
it knowing I earned my freedom."
     "Do you want me to put you in for transfer, Rebecca?"
     Ming sighed even heavier.  There was no getting around telling him, "Don't
waste your strings, Frank.  At my rank and experience, they'd only transfer me
to my own command, and that's not something that could happen easily."
     "Rebecca, a professor of mine at the Academy once said that Captains only
confide in two people, their doctor and their first officer.  We confess to our
doctors simply to shut them up.  We confess to our first officers so that they
too will confess to us.  When you're a CO, command is mostly about 
communication."
     "I take it there's still things we don't know about each other that we
should?", Ming asked.
     "Starfleet requires that I share my security clearance with you on all
matters.  I agree with the philosophy that a CO and XO should be crystal clear
on everything.  I even think it should extend from the professional to the
personal.  There can not be any confusion between us."
     "Or in plain English, you want to trade secrets," Ming said, "You feel
that as Captain you need to know why we're not the same rank.  You also feel
there's something I need to know about you as your first officer."
     "That's right," Mason said nodding, "I'll go first.  I've been having an
intimate relationship with Ensign White."
     "Ensign White?!", shrieked Ming.  A second later she glanced at the
doorway, making sure no one heard her.  "I had a feeling you were doing
something with someone, Frank, but I thought it was Lieutenant Hathaway in
Hydroponics."  She started giggling, "I'm sorry, sir, but what was I thinking?
Now that I am, I really can't see you with a botanist."
     "I thought I had covered my tracks pretty well," sighed Mason, "but then 
again, you have the edge of having a woman's intuition.  Your turn."
     "Well, it's easier for me to tell you as long as we're on the topic of
affairs," said Ming, still giggling, "I had a relationship with Captain 
Winston."
     "That doesn't explain why the Admiralty would hold you back from command.
I'm not sure they could use that against you if it's not in your official 
record.  It's especially understandable since CO's and XO's of opposite genders
have been known to dabble in romance in order to maintain a clear 
relationship.."
     "Frank, the relationship was not dabbling in romance, it lasted over two
years!", Ming blurted, "and the reason I'm not getting a command is the fact
that Winston turned out to be a Changeling.  The Admiralty is unofficially
worried that I'm a Dominion sympathizer.  That leaves me stuck here, wanting
to go to war but unable to due to politics I can't explain to anyone.  It wears
me down mentally, and then the Admiralty can say I'm not psychologically fit
for combat duty like they do every time they shoot down my transfer requests. 
I'm caught between a targ and a tribble and I can't take it anymore!"
     Ming shrieked and stormed out of the lounge.  Mason trotted after her. 
He couldn't let any crewman see her like this.  He caught up to her and spun
her around, grabbing her and shaking her by the shoulders.
     "Commander Ming!  Rebecca!  Is there anything I can do to help you?"
     "Just promise me you won't relieve me of duty.  My assignment's all I have
to keep me going," Ming hoarsed, on the verge of tears.
     "I won't relieve you.  I have no reason to, you're doing a fine job, even
if it's draining you.  This war is draining us all.  I haven't even been able 
to tell my wife about Chaz yet.  It's getting to all of us, but you need to 
find some way to adjust, to cope."
     She nodded, "Okay, I will sir.  I'll go to Sickbay and have an
examination."
     "No, that will only attract crew attention to a personal situation that 
is none of their business.  Besides, the EMH has his hands full with Wallin,
Hindman and that whole Oblokoni mess."
     "Then what should I do?"
     "I think you just need to vent.  And I mean really vent, not just an hour
in a holodeck, but give something or someone real some real abuse that it
deserves."
     "Someone?", Ming said, perking back to her normal self.
     "Sure.  The security reports have been listing many missing items lately
and Beeg is still confined to quarters.  Why not handle it yourself?  It's not
like there's a long list of suspects on a ship of mostly Starfleet officers."
     Ming smiled, "It could be the Wiansani for all we know, but I know who I'm
going to blame anyway."
     She turned and marched off towards Reman's shop, beaming with sunshine and
rage.  As soon as she disappeared, Mason shuddered.  Peering into that woman's
heart and mind, much less any woman's, terrified him more than anything since
he had lost a command to the Collective.