| Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. It's 12am on a Tuesday night, and you're up watching the Cartoon Network. Hell, it's any time of day - 5am, 10am, 3pm, it doesn't matter. There you are, watching the Cartoon Network. Mojo Jojo has just blown up Townsville, and He is behind it - you're waiting for the Power Puff Girls to beat the crap out of that red, stiletto thigh boot wearing freak, when suddenly, there she is : Anne Margaret, singing "They'll be peace in the valley for me." |
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Who in the HELL thought that here and now is the place to advertise for Anne Margaret's Greatest Gospel Hits? I'll tell you what, kiddies, it wasn't me. And I've got a special, SPECIAL place here in the underworld for ms. Margaret, you can believe me. |
| Let's think about this, now. Who watches the Cartoon Network? Well, children, clearly. And certainly, there may be some twisted little youngster out there who doesn't know any better, who might say to his mother "Mommy, buy me Anne Margaret's Gospel Hits! Please Mommy, Please!" But you and I both know, this kid is NOT ABOUT to get Anne Margaret's Gospel Hits. So this clearly isn't the demographic the people behind this insidious album were shooting for. |
| That leaves people like me. Let's think on this now. Adults. Home during the day, or up late into the night, watching CARTOONS, of all things. Do I even have to go over the facts? These people aren't getting a single red cent out of anyone in the 18 to 55 age group who are up in the middle of the night watching the Power Puff Girls. |
| These people are clearly either a.) idiots with a lot of money to waste, or b.) out to torment me and only me by making me listen to clips of Anne Margaret singing gospel tunes in the middle of my cartoon viewing. Either way, these guys are going to roast when I get my hands on them. I've got that guy who invented the oral spreader (you know, that thing Adonis is wearing in the roof of his mouth right now that's spreading his jaw and teeth apart one quarter of a millimeter at a time, quite painfully) working on something special just for them, as we speak. |
| Now back to the closet with you |
