Where oh where shall I start? Let's see. I would like to apologize to Judson Kulikowski. I have no idea if I spelled your last name right, but your sister's name is Amelia (where the heck is Amelia, anyway? Last I heard, she was in California or someplace like that?) Anyway, I would like to apologize for the last time we spoke. It was at a dance at Shumate, and I'm still not sure what you said to me, although I think now that maybe you had just ask me if I wanted to dance. I was so nervous, sitting there in the "silence" between us, that I said something stupid to you, trying to seem "cool". The truth is, I'd had the worst, most aweful, hormone-driven crush on you since you were about 9 years old (yeah, that's bad, I was about 3 years older than you, and that's a big difference, at that age. I haven't changed much that way, my husband is 5 years younger than I am. Guess I have a thing for younger guys.) Anyway... I was so terrified that you'd reject me that I rejected you first. I said something stupid (don't even know if you remember what it was), but you just walked away, righteously pissed. And justifiably so. I'd like to apologize for being such a dumb bitch. Don't know that you'll ever read this, but at least I tried.

And lastly would be Melanie Galambos. I remember being in Mrs. Christiansen's classroom, and I can't even remember why I was pissed or whatever it was that had me saying what I did about you to Amelia (hey, there's Amelia again), but you were right behind her and I didn't even realize it. I think that I didn't even realize that you were in our class, that's how much attention I paid. I said some very hateful things (and I honestly can't remember why, now... probably something about a boy, I don't know) or maybe I'd said them about your sister? I'm not sure. I'm left with feeling like I'd said something bad about you, or that would have upset you, I can't be sure... but there I was spouting off to Amelia, and you said "Hi, Patty", and I totally blew it off! I guess it was one of those "oh crap, now what do I do, I'm caught?" things. At the time, I didn't even feel bad or embarrassed about it. Stupid stupid youth. I get that from my mother. She apologizes to no one. It's a very very bad way to be, and I do feel bad about it now, and would like to offer my sincerest apologies. Whatever I said that day, it was wrong, there was no excuse for it, and I hope you'll forgive me, or at least know that I feel regret for having done it, whether you forgive me or not.

I think that's about it. I'm sure my subconscious will dredge up someone else I said something stupid to or about, later on, who I haven't gotten to apologize to in person, and there story (and evidence of my stupidity as a teenager) will appear here, as well. If you think I owe you an apology, please, contact me and let me know. I'm more than willing (and in fact grateful) to get the chance to make things right between us, if it's at all possible.

And no, children, I do not have cancer or any other terminal illness. This isn't part of a 12 step program, nor am I dying and trying to make amends before I go. I just feel bad about having done these things. They've stuck in my mind all these years.