In
The Beginning...
A
Breakthrough ? Bananna Joe or SteamBoat Joe ?
Above
is an early representation of a character called Steamboat Joe uncovered
by a Bananna Joe Detective named Sam (Click
here to visit his site).
The picture contains a Bananna looking shape standing
on a skateboard. Steamboat Joe is without a joint and top hat, which have
become the trademark items of Bananna Joe. If this is actually Bananna
Joe at an early stage, we do not know, but if we do find out, it will certainly
bring us one step closer to solving the most puzzling riddle of the millenium,
Who Is Bananna Joe?
1.
The Banannable Story
In the beginning
there was a bananna. Not just any bananna but the Great Bananna In The
Sky! (GBITS). On the first day he made the first mortal bananna, called
B1. And it was so and the Lord was pleased. On the second day B1 came to
the GBITS and said, "Lord I am Cold." So on the second day the Lord made
the peel. B1 was warm and the Lord was pleased. On the third day B1 came
to the GBITS and said, "Lord I am Lonely." So on the third day the Lord
made the B2 from a seed to keep B1 amused. B1 was no longer lonely and
the Lord was pleased. On the fourth day B1 came to the GBITS and said,
"Lord we have no place in which to live." So on the fourth day the Lord
made a tree for them to live in and it was so.
On the fifth
day B1 came to the GBITS and said, "I have nothing on which to do stuff."
It was so at that time that the earth was covered with water and there
was no land. So on the fifth day the Lord made Queensland. And the Lord
was pleased. On the sixth day the GBITS looked down from above and thought,
this is a bloody boring world, as all he could see was water surrounding
an island with a tree in the middle. So he created the rest of the world
to go with his bananna tree. And it was so. On the seventh day the GBITS
was so pleased with his work that he decided to go down to the local pub
with his mates. He got totally legless and collapsed. He woke up the next
morn with a huge hangover in a heap under the table.
A few thousand
years later the GBITS looked down on his world and noticed that a few of
his bananna's were misbehaving so he decided to send down his only son
to teach them to behave. And so Bananna Joe came down from the heavens
and preached the ways of the Banannable. Unfortunately Bananna Joe met
a strange looking bananna with only one arm** who offered him a weird green
leaf. Being the kind and innocent bananna that he was he did not realise
the drastic effect that this would have on the bananna population and on
the world, so he accepted it. This weird leaf made his mind go crazy and
during this time he did some very bad things. Even worse he enjoyed these
bad things so much that he became addicted.
Soon
all the banannas followed his example believing it was the wish of the
GBITS. This started a time of gross indecency and misconduct (otherwise
known as "Ye Time Of Sex, Drugs and Banannas"). The GBITS was so disappointed
in his children that he demoted them from rulers of the world and most
intelligent species to a lowly fruit. This allowed a far less intelligent
species (they can't even spell bananna right), the humans to take over.
Bananna Joe, being immortal and immoral, hid from the wrath of his father
and still roams the earth today with a group of menacing banannas, to stoned
to do anything.
**Where
the phrase "It was not me, It was the one armed bananna" probably came
from.
2.
The Coverup Story
Back sometime
in the 50's A large bananna shaped spaceship crashed to earth near a small
town called Lamanna in Queensland. The Government was quick to the scene
and took both the ship and the survivors back to their secret military
base to perform bizarre ritual experiments on them. Among the things they
found was that if you peel of their spacesuits, they are really nice to
eat. The Queensland Government then started a huge plan to market and sell
these banannas to other states and countries. One bananna heard of this
plan and escaped from the base. Using parts he found in a junkyard he built
a one bananna spaceship and flew home to Bananna-Land. It is believed he
is still there now, planning to take over the earth as revenge and to free
his fellow banannas who are being eaten by the crate loads all over the
world.
3.
The Tim Story
Bananna
Joe was all made up in the mind of a disturbed schoolboy called Tim and
is totally fictional.
Click
on the bananna slug to go back
