A tongue in cheek look at the Beaufort windscale
modified for boomerang throwers

The Blowforte Scale

0. Dead Calm. Wind indicator sits flat against its stick.
Boomerangs cease to exist.

1. Gentle Steady Breeze. Wind indicator stands out from
stick at slight angle, motionless, like a piece of wire.
Grass dropped from shoulder height lands about a metre
away. Catches land in your hands like trained butterflies.
Personal records set. These conditions are never seen in
the presence of other throwers.

2. Gusty. Wind indicator flops back and forth, and may tie
itself around its stick. Grass dropped from shoulder height
blows in your face, no matter which way you turn.
Bystanders confirm their suspicions that boomerangs are a
hoax.

3. Windy. Wind indicator stands out from stick at a sharp
angle and flaps. Grass dropped from shoulder height flies
past the accuracy circles. Rubberbands, coins, and tape
seen. Children are seen flying kites. That overweight plank
you meant to leave home shows sudden promise.

4. Really Windy. Wind indicator stands straight out from
stick; stick bends. Grass flies past constantly.
A boomerang dropped from shoulder height lands 3 metres away.
Executives are seen flying kites that swoop and dive.
Throwers stand like statues around the field, waiting for a
"window".

5. Very Windy. Wind indicator makes buzzing noise.
Stick is bent sharply, begins to pull loose. Rugby players
dragged across field by kites. Accuracy boomerang hangs,
then rises out of sight.

6. Too Windy. Wind indicators fly past.
Throwers lean into wind.
Shopping bags appear in distant trees.
World LD champion remarks "Wind is picking up."
and puts a tiny flap on his Trick Catch.

7. Ridiculously Windy. Chain makes good wind indicator.
Clothing flaps against arms and legs. Lead tape blows away
and you have to chase it across the field.

8. So Windy It Is Not Funny. Chain wind indicator stands
out sharply from pole. Objects dropped from shoulder height
rise rapidly out of sight. Supply of lead tape runs out.
Boomerang returns only when thrown upside-down. World LD
Champion loses a few metres off distance throw.

9. Outrageously Windy. Chain wind indicator wrapped around
Tri-Fly seems to help. Remaining tape used to secure
thrower to wind indicator pole. Boomerangs thrown hard into
wind fly in opposite direction.

10. Hurricane. Throwers take shelter. Competition is halted
after 5-minute Endurance round by World LD Champion scores
1 catch. (Often accompanied by kangaroos blowing past.)

Contributed by Bill Wachspress
May, 2000
wow@grapevine.net, Lawrence, Kansas