Candidate Bill, after a hard day of truthful campaigning, retired for the evening. George Washington appeared in a vision.. .Bill said, "George, you were a great leader, what can I do to win the election"?. . "Easy", Washington replied, "Just promise the people lower taxes".
He promised - - remember his "TAX CUT"?

Later, in a chat with Thomas Jefferson, Prez Bill inquired, "Mr. Jefferson, you were a great leader of the people, what can I do to make this country better"? .. Mr. Jefferson replied, "Very easy, build up the strongest military in the world".
Bill's idea - "DON'T ASK - DON'T TELL"!

Still later, plagued by vicious scandal attacks, Prez Bubba's mustached long-time role model appeared.. ."Many years ago, you were such a great man and a great leader of your people", Bubba queried, "What can I do to wriggle out of this"? "Tell a lie loud enough and long enough, and people will soon believe it", was his hero's response.
So the Prez appeared on TV and responded to accusations by waving his crooked finger, stating, "I NEVER HAD SEX WITH THAT WOMAN"!!

Suddenly, Abraham Lincoln appeared in the Prez's seance. . . ."Mr. Lincoln, you were always honest, and a very great leader of the people", Bill said then asked, "What could I do to make this country better"? . .Honest Abe's instant response, "That's easy, GO TO THE THEATER"!!