Healing Child Ritual

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When I was a child, I was abused.

It has taken me years to even say this. After admitting that it happen, I had to deal with it some way.

So I thought, prayed, meditated and journeyed. I came up with what I felt needed to be done to help me to heal.

I am lucky in that my Father is still alive and supports me emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. He and I did the Healing Child Ritual that I have included here.

There are some women friends who also want to begin their healing process with a Healing Child Ritual, and we are talking about how it should look.

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This is what I wrote to my Father. This is the original Ritual as I wrote it. Papa had a few ideas of his own, though and I have put them in italics. He added them as the Ritual unfolded, I did not know about them before hand. I've also added some descriptions of what actually happened--very seldom does a Ritual turn out just as it is planned.

One of the things he put in that affected me the most was when I was burying the item I brought with me. I had brought a trowel down to the circle with us. When it came time to dig the hole, Papa gave me his own Athame to do it. When I questioned him about the use of this sacred tool, he told me that there was no other more sacred use it could be put to than this one. I cried.

The day we did this was wet. It had been raining for some days and was still raining. It would sprinkle, then rain, then let up, then sprinkle again. The early spring woods were still mostly bare and mist-shrouded. Forbidding, mysterious, other worldly. The land knew what was happening, and it's mood became a reflection of the Ritual.

Healing Child Ritual
The Ridge, WV
My Father and I

I see this as divided into three main parts;

Affirmation

I must want and be ready to face this, deal with it and let it go. I realize that it all depends on me. If I hold back, all this Ritual will be is word, movement and empty gesture.

After you cast the Circle and call who and whatever you want into it, ring the chime.

I must ask to come into the Circle—three times. YOU have the hard part. You must be almost brutal to me. I will ask to come into the Circle, you will say I am not ready yet, I am not strong enough, I am not serious about it.

I will ask again. You will tell me to go away, this is a sacred Circle, only sacred beings can come inside. Only good and pure beings who deserve to come into the presence of the Gods.

I will ask a third time, this time demanding. I must sound sincere, like I believe that I do indeed belong in the Circle because I am ready, I am strong, I am sacred. If I do not sound like I am ready and want it, DO NOT LET ME IN!!

He did this part well. Each of the first two times, he sent me back into the rain drenched woods to think and meditate. By the third time, dripping and cold, I would NOT be denied my entrance to the Circle.

II. Casting off guilt

I will come into the circle, show you the burnable picture I have drawn. I will tell you what happen, how I felt, how I feel. Do not touch or comfort me, just LISTEN to me, give me your complete attention. When I am done, I will say something like "And that is why I am a bad girl."

Then you come to me, yank the paper from my hands, look at it, study it, look at me—JUDGE ME.

Then, rip it. Say something like "this is false," rip it again, "this was NEVER true," rip it again, "I do not see you this way," again, "you are good," again and finally, "I love you, I always have and no matter what happens I will always love you and you will always be my honored daughter."

I can not even begin to describe my Father during this part, but I will try. He was enraged at the molester and so very full of love and respect for me that I felt the guilt start to slip from me--not completely; I still have a lot of work to do, but I took a step here.

Hand the ripped pieces of paper back to me. I will take them to the fire and burn them and watch them burn.

I will burry the item I have brought with me as a symbol of letting this whole experience go.

This is when Papa gave me his Athame.

III. Purifying and Acceptance

Purify me.

Air: smudge the hell out of me (literally)

He lit the smudge stick and with his own breath blew the smoke all over me; around my head, down both arms and my chest. He blew it between my legs and down each one, then I turned and he smudged my hair, back, legs... I don't think I've ever been smudged that thoroughly before.

Fire: lead me around the fire, go back to the other side and let me leap through the flames to you.

Sounds kind of simple, doesn't it? He lead me around to the West and left me to go around and wait for me in the East. It was drizzling again and I looked at him hard through the flames and gray mist. He held his arms out to me, nodded and I jumped that Fire!

Water: sprinkle/throw water on me.

Like I really needed to have more water thrown on me!

Earth: dust soil onto me.

Actually, it was mud.

Say appropriate words, or do all this silently.

He added a big part here. He took me to each of the four corners and spoke to the Elements. He asked the Air to help me feel it blowing away all the darkness. We went to the South and he asked Fire to allow me to see the lies I had lived with for so long as they burned into dust and were nothing. He lead me to the West and asked for the flow of healing, for me to feel my sins, although existing only in my imagination, to be washed from me. And at North, he asked Earth for stability and safely.

Then take me in your arms, hold me and give me the token. The token can be anything from a piece of wood, an acorn, an interesting bead, necklace, scarf, rock, etc.

My Father was visited by his first animal guide when he was 11. It was a wolf. The token he gave me was a stone with a wolf carved into it. When he gave it to me, he called the Wolf and asked him to take me into his protection.

After we calm down, we will cleanse and consecrate the items I will bring for the other women.

Then Cakes and Ale, break down the circle, go back to base camp.

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Email: gryph@pobox.com