Chester's Super Day Song (sung by Chester)
I met met this shiny girl
She said I'm crescent fresh
She had a sparkly dress
She smelled like stuff
So I touched her velvet thighs
She made me start to cry
We're friends for life for sure
I'm in like
Hey! Hey! It's a super super special super day, yeah!
Hey! Hey! It's a special super crazy fun day, yeah!
So then she layed me on the bed,
I kinda lost my balance
I heard sort of noises
From the bathroom
Then Cody gave her an envelope
Said thank you, paid her, and
Something that rhymes with soap...
I don't think she's...
Hey! She's the kinda girl.... Hey! She's the kinda girl
She likes me and she's special, likes me, yeah, cool!
Hey! I think I like that girl... Hey! She kinda likes me...
Special, thank you, special, YES! Girl!
Days of the Week Song
Sunday Monday Wednesday Saturday
Tuesday Wednesday Tuesday Thursday
Su-u-unday! TUESDAY FRIDAY!
Marmalade! Oh Marmalade!
Keep it off my hand grenade!
Sunday Friday Tuesday Tuesday
Wednesday Monday Saturday Thursday
Su-u-unday! TUESDAY FRIDAY!
Marmalade! Oh Marmalade!
Keep it off my hand grenade!
Sunday Tukday Wednesday Friday
Monday Monday Monday Saturday
Su-u-unday! DOOMSDAY FRIEDEGG!
Gargamel, oh Azriel
Makes a Smurf's life living hell!
Dear Brenda
Sifl:
Dear Brenda, I read your letter the other day
and oh how I wept such bitter tears for your love gone so far away.
You left me like a rat on a piece of....
Oh Brenda, How long I woe thee
Oh woe thee
How Brenda I feel low
Olly:
Who..who's Brenda?
Sifl:
How woely, how bleelow your Brenda, How Brenlee
Olly:
Who's...
Sifl:
How below your Brenda
Olly:
Who's Brenda?
Sifl:
She's one.....of the girls...how blow
Sweet leely blow lethee
How blow thee, sweet leely lum leethly Blenda
How lowly, sweet leely rum leetly Brenda
How mowly, sweet shifty done mere with Brenda
What have you done with my panda?
Doctor Booty
So tell me Dr. Booty whatcha got in store!
Dr.Booty:
Dishin' out some hotcakes and a whole lot more!
Girls:
So tell me Dr. Booty how you slam such jams!
Dr.Booty:
I put the needle in the groove... and I stick it to the man!
Girls:
So tell me Dr. Booty why you rock this bash!
Dr. Booty:
All my records have a rash... they get so itchy, I gotta scratch!
Girls:
On a scale from 1 to 10 how would you rate this jam?
Dr. Booty:
I'd say it's probably about a 4 or a 5...probably about a 5...
Everybody just slide with me, just slide with me
Now dance with me, just dance with me
We're gonna teach the robots how to swim, teach the robots how to swim!
Everybody collectin' antique whistles with me,
Come on! Everybody donate scissors to the poor with me
Donate scissors to the poor with me,
Now scream!
Girls:
NO!
Dr. Booty:
Come on, scream!
Girls:
Uh-uh! I said no!
Dr. Booty:
Man, you guys suck.
Doctor Puberty
Well there's a time in your life
When every person goes through changes
But have no fear while your body rearranges
I know it's hard to talk about it comfortably
So gather round, kids, I'm Dr. Puberty!
Toby:
Dr. Puberty, help me!
I'm growing all this hair!
I even found some down there...
In my UNDERWEAR!
Dr.P:
Don't worry about it, Toby,
Recent tests have shown
You're just another victim
Of your own testosterone.
Cindy:
Help me, Dr. Puberty
I'm scared it's gonna hurt,
If these lumps keep getting bigger
They'll stretch out all my shirts
Dr.P:
Don't worry about it, Cindy
To you they seem uncool,
But in a few more years,
You'll be popular at school.
Brenda:
Help me Dr.Puberty,
What's happening to my skin?
My face is full of blotches,
From my forehead to my chin.
Dr.P:
Don't worry about it, Brenda,
What you suffer from is zits,
But guys will never notice
Cuz they're staring at your tits.
Kid 4:
Oh no, Dr. Puberty,
I'm feeling really naughty
Last night I had a little bit
Too much fun with my body.
I was chillin' watchin' TV
When I stumbled upon Baywatch
And I got a strange sensation,
Like a fever in my crotch!
Dr. P:
Oh... you're tellin' me! Jeez, call up Loveline... I think one of those dudes is a doctor, or somethin'.
Electric Oven
(duet with Delictush Sexplosious)
She don't care, and she don't mind, and
She don't bug me when I drink my wine
I wanna rumble! Yeah, shake it over once or twice
She's my baby, she's my woman
She's my one and only honey spice!
She's my baby, I'm gonna take her by the hand
I'm gonna rock her every single night
Well, I'm her one and only lovin' man
Soppin' gravy, wipe my biscuit off in her hand
Well I'm soppin all her lovin',
I'm her one and only lover man.
I went down to the bar to get some beer
They had poker in the front and they got liquor in the rear
Electric oven, it's gonna heat up the night
Well I ain't shy or nothin'
I"m gonna butter up your muffin right.
The English Song
You take predicate and I'll take the noun
I'll learn ya English so you might should stick around
Grab you an adjective, a word like "downtown"
Its past participle is plural somehow
You take predicate, I'll take the noun
One! Two! Three! Four!
Now that I know your English ways,
I'll translate all that Satan says...
Jujujugoh,jujujugoh, jjjj redrum, jjjredrum
You take the predicate, and I'll take your soul
(You take the predicate, I'll take the noun)
Spoken:
English is easy! Take a phrase like "Crescent Fresh"
"Cres" is the phrase's plural subroot modifier
"Cent" is the pronoun's past bicuspid singular predicate
"Fresh" is the dual adjective conjunctive prefix
Put 'em together and you've got CRESCENT FRESH!
As in, "HEY! Check out these crescent fresh skulls in my salad!"
The Forest Elf Song
I'm only two inches tall
a lima bean's a meal for me!
I'm only small but
I can sing a sunny song
And here is my backpack made of bark
I made it from the things I find on the forest floor
so much more
for free
like sticks and leaves
I'm just a tiny guy in the world
But I might be an elf
but I don't care
because I only want to sing, and sing, and SING!
(coughs)
Excuse me,
I didn't mean to cough
But you see it's very cold
Sleeping in a hollow log
I have to watch out for the bullfrogs
Because they think I am a beetle
And they snatch me in their gullet
I can't win!
I'm so tiny in this world of darkness
I'm so tiny in this world for me!
Hawaiian Rap
Aloha, y'all!
Let me show you what time it is, poi!
Well I'm so ho'in', they call me Don Ho,
With the rhymes slidin' hotter than Kilowea's lava flow
Pina colada on the Magnum P.I show
We'll bust ya old school like Hawaii Five-O
We dropped a bomb on Pearl Harbor
With our sonic air raids
And when we get off the plane,
Y'know we always get laid
Sure the girls really dig us
They really like to flirt
Tonight at the luau,
We're gonna smoke the grass skirt!
Rikki tikki tava mooka lakka hocka lao
Leah Lielu poppa-locka leaky seekee kao
Chewbacca maui wowee empanada kiki dee
Wukunuku honolulu word to Bebbe Bebbedee
Hangin' ten before breakfast
Eatin' coconuts for brunch
All you sucker DJs
We pack a mean Hawaiian PUNCH!
Aloha, y'all!
(Olly: you said that in the beginnning, dude
Sifl: yeah, but it means hello AND goodbye
Olly: are you sure?
Sifl: oh yeah.
Heart Attacks
We went to the zoo
We learned a thing or two
Animals die just like you and I
Even bears have heart attacks
And even lions have heart attacks
There's no need to cry, Mother Nature tries
And even cows have heart attacks
And even baby dinosaurs have heart attacks
They don't exercise and they eat too much fat
And even leprechauns have heart attacks
And even Nostradamus had heart attacks (I knew it)
It's just nature's way, it happens every day
And even Bob Marley cover-bands have heart attacks
Even cheerleaders, trees, and birds have heart attacks
If we knew why, we'd know the meaning of life
If they'd just exercise maybe they'd survive their heart attacks!
Hellfire
Satan:
So you think that you can rock
But your kind of rock can't compete with mine
I'll teach you punks a little lesson...
Sifl:
Who you callin' "punks," bitch! Let's bring it on!
Satan:
Hellfire rain on you!
Hellfire reigneth and rocketh you!
Hellfire rain on you!
Hellfire reigneth and rocketh you!
Sifl:
Is that all you got, you overcooked tart?
You rock like a pansy, little slap-ASS!
My friend here just said that he'll out-rock you...
Olly:
(No I didn't... no I didn't!)
Satan:
Ok then, mere mortal, meet your FATE!
Olly:
(I can't even sing... well, alright!)
HELLFIRE RAIN ON YOU!
HELLFIRE REIGNETH AND ROCKETH YOU!
HELLFIRE RAIN ON YOU!
HELLFIRE REIGNETH AND ROCKETH YOOOOOOUUUUU!
Satan:
Nooooooo!!!
Sifl & Olly:
Ok, you win.
Hound-Dog
There ain't nuthin' in the kitchen
But a one-legged chicken
And a hound-dog, hound-dog
Grandma's sicker
Cuz she's quicker on the liquor
Than a hound-dog, hound dog
There ain't nuthin' in the kitchen
(one-legged chicken)
And Grandma's sicker
(she's quicker on the liquor)
Pa's wearin' leather
Cuz the hookers like it better
Than eggnog, eggnog,
And Ma's gettin' frisky
Gettin' risky with the whiskey
And a corndog, corndog!
Pa's wearin' leather
(cuz the hookers like it better)
And Ma's gettin' frisky
(risky with the whiskey)
Sister's movin' to the city-limits
Gettin' kinda jiggy with it,
Hey-yo, hey-yo
Uncle Cleo is a Leo
And he's got a banjo trio
Called Clear Fog, Clear Fog!
Uncle Cleo is a Leo
(got a banjo trio)
Says he's movin' to the city limits
(gettin' jiggy with it)
Hey yo, hey yo, hey yo, YO!
Leader of the Gang
I kissed your brother
and beat up your mother
to show you
that I'm the leader of the gang
I wear leather
even in hot weather
to school you
I get my kicks from rock & roll
that's right, buster
dig my knuckle dusters
and moon boots
I'm proof that cops and dudes don't mix
So watch your back, son
I'm crazy like Xaxxon
Which happens
to be my friggin' middle name
I think my Mom & Pops's to blame.
Lonely Sexy Heart
I wanna lonely lonely heart
She's a lonely lonely girl
I wanna sexy sexy world
I got a hungry hungry girl
I wanna lonely lonely world
WIth a sexy sexy heart
I wanna lonely lonely girl
She got a sexy sexy heart
I wanna lonely lonely world
I got a sexy lonely heart
I wanna sexy sexy girl
With a hungry hungry heart
I'm in a sexy lonely world
With a lonely sexy heart
I got a sexy world so lonely
I got a lonely sexy heart
I got a sexy worldly heart
And it's lonely being sexy
????
Pull on my top, say i-ho, i-ho
[man, that was lame...]
Mona Lisa
Oh Mona Lisa, Oh Mona Lisa,
Oh Mona Lisa, piece of pizza, muy bonita
Oh muy bonita, muy bonita
Senorita du El Guapo
Oh drink sangria, don't look at me-a
Oh mama-mia, anti-pasta, mi amigo
Oh mi amigo, mi amigo
Him big Rasta from the Bayou
We're from Ohio, it ain't no lie-o
Oh me-oh-my-oh, apple pie-o and Scott
He's so Scott Baio, he's so Scott Baio
He's so damn Scott Baio-an
He's Baio.... BAY-OH! Baay-oh!
Ninja of the Night
Like the shadow serpent
Silence is my veil
yes, and with precision of the cobra
Ninjas kill and leave no trail.
We know ancient stuff
And we have fun, fucking things up
For instance,
In the confusion of a smoke bomb,
I could remove your bra and you wouldn't even notice.
I could jump roof to roof, and get my friends free cable
It's BAD-ASS!
I used my chinese star
to pick the locks and steal your car
Rock & roll
NINJA OF THE NIGHT
NINJA OF THE NIGHT
Star Lover (Olly Moondust)
I dreamt of a wizard with a hot guitar
The loveliest magic man, now he's a star
I've got 3-D stereophonic laser love
You're on my TV
I've been stuck in space for such a long time
Sorry Mum, I'm five years late for tea time
Hydroplaning towards infinity
Just some drag queens and me
You dirty little thing
eclipse me
in cryogenic sleep
Oh lord, i'm freezing
Venus i lovely this time of year
ooh, i'm making proteins in my body as I speak,
star lover....
Olly's Dylan Song
Will all the ladies in the house say "hell yeah"
I'm haulin' ass on a midnight train,
I got an empty Zippo blues,
I got the mystery on my brain
She's a high-wire dame
She's a rainy cafe
I dip my hat into the milky way
She hid a raisin in my pocket
But by the time I found it,
I didn't want it anyway!
Oh, you're looking at me like I was the him you ain't
And he's somethin' like me
when I was your vision of me bein' him yesterday
It's a high lonely-highway,
boots-on-backwards,
Remembering-chicks kind of day
Oh, she hid a piece of pie in my backpack
And now my Ginsberg smells like meringue.
Ooh, she's got german radar
-- Say no to bombs and the politicians --
Lasers! Oooo.
Thank you.
Opera
Sifl:
Move your FEEEEEET! Move your big fat ugly smelly old feet! They're right in my way. Dontcha know.
Olly:
Eat your meat! Eat your big fat smelly stupid old meat. It's right in the way... right here today.
Sifl:
Move that SHEEEEEP! Move that dumb unshaven furry dumb sheep. It's right in my way... Dontcha know.
Olly:
Won't - you - help - me - I - want - to - go - HOOOOOOOOOME!
(applause)
