The Panda Song
Sifl: No WAY, dude, you're outta here!
Panda Dude: I have to sing my tale to the panda!
Sifl: You can't sing... you're not a musician...don't let him do this!
Panda Dude: This next song is the new first song on our new album.
Olly: WHAT?!
Panda Dude:
This is not a rebel song... This is.. the PANDA!
After dark, the pandas stalk,
Nightmare creatures, with black hearts.
Ravenous teeth that glow in the dark,
Feasting on bums that sleep in the park!
The pandas are coming!
So hide under your beds!
The pandas are coming!
They'll rip your ass to shreds!
(Sifl: get out of the studio
Olly: yeah, get out of here, dude
Sifl: Hey, Pandaboy
Panda Dude: I SHAN'T!)
The panda is indeed the most mysterious of all creatures
Shrouded in the enigma of his black and white coat
What kind of camouflage is this, black and white?
Hiding in an Oreo factory? Could be!
That's just another chapter in the ominous saga of the panda!
The pandas are coming
To rip off your head!
The pandas are coming
On a rampage of the dead!
Like the shark, the panda has millions of teeth
Which it uses like a hacksaw to cut through bone, candy, and fences
The Chinese believe that if you find a discarded panda tooth
You have the power to summon Godzilla
I'm drunk on panda mystery!
The pandas are coming!
So hide under your bed!
The pandas are coming!
They'll rip your ass to shreds!
This has been chapter 1 in my ongoing songs about the panda, which shall cease at number 820. You will see me again, Mr. Sifl!
Sifl: Just get a clue.
Panda Dude: Get a PANDA!
Party-time Loser
Party-time loser
She's my crutch
Party-time loser
Rock my body touch
She's got the body touch
Party-time loser
She's too much
Party-time loser
Rock my body touch
She's got the body touch
Oh what a dream
Oh what a sight
Oh what a NIGHT!
Oh what a chick
So outta sight
Rock me tonight!
Party-time loser
She's my crutch
Party-time loser
Rock my body touch
She's got the body touch
Party-time loser
She's too much
Party-time loser
Rock my body touch
She's got the body touch
Chester:
oh what a body touch
oh what a body touch
oh what a night
Sailin' 'Round the Ocean
I met some whore, we walked around
I bought her lunch, she ate a pound!
And so we talked, about her past
'Bout all the sailors, who'd seen her ass.
She had a man, in every port
Except for Sting, and Martin Short
She sailed the world, Left sailors grievin'
I bet she's had a lot of seamen
Yeah like Milo,
Then she's sailin' round the ocean with Carlos
Then she's sailin' 'round the ocean with Nostradamos
Then she's sailin' 'round the ocean with french toast
Then she's sailin' 'round the ocean with old folks
Then she's sailin' 'round the ocean with a pot roast,
Then she's sailin' 'round the ocean with Super Host
Then she's sailin' 'round the ocean with Bob Hope
Then she's sailin' 'round the ocean with MEEEeeeeeeeeee!
Sifl's Clone Song
I don't know what Caesar thought when he got to the Ides of March
I don't know what Houdini bought when he went to the store
but I sure do miss the Eighties....
(repeat and repeat, faster and faster!)
Soda Pop (the Magnetic Car Song)
I want soda, soda pop pop
soda, soda pop pop and ham
Cola and ham
I hope there's cinnamon rolls at the North Pole
Peanut, peanut butter
Peanut, peanut butter and jam
Jelly and jam
I wish we had a salad bar in our magnetic car
Pizza, pepperoni pizza
I don't want to starve
I wish we had a turkey to carve
Maybe we could eat snow or find an Eskimo
And if I pass away
I'll make a Sifl souffle!
State Capitols Song
Montgomery Juno Phoenix
Little Rock Sacramento Denver
Hartford Dover Washington
Tallahassee Atlanta Honolulu
Boise Springfield Indianapolis
Des Moines Topeka Frankfort
Baton Rouge Augusta Annapolis
Boston Lansing St.Paul
Jackson Jefferson City Helena
Concord Trenton Santa Fe
Albany Raliegh Bismarck Columbus
Oklahoma City Portland Harrisburg
Providence Columbia Pierre
Nashville, Nashville, Nashville
Austin Salt Lake City Mont Pelier
Richmond Olympia Charleston
Madison, CHEYENNE!!!
Tangerine
Tangerine! Slip inside my big-ass Lincoln
Tangerine! I know ladies love velvet dashboards
Tangerine! Damn, that girl's dress is revealing
Tangerine! Eating lobster with my bitches
Makin', love yeah!
Tangerine! I can't wait to take you back to my crib!
Tangerine! Get undressed and get in my round bed!
Tangerine! I put on my robe and my platform slippers
Vaseline! All aboard the electric stallion!
Makin' love, yeah!
Awww yeah, baby...
[Chester, get out of here, dude... we're bein' sexy...]
Chester:
I'm sexy...
Tangerine! Got some cereal in my pocket
Tangerine! I can't wait to make you nauseous
Makin' love... nauseous
Now I'm nauseous... god, now I'm nauseous... I'm sorry, I feel bad...
Vibes
Yeah, I got vibes!
Yeah, I got vibes!
Vibes!
Runnin' towards my destination
Vibes!
Celestrial celebration
Vibes!
Inviting the whole Nation... to my party, yeah!
Yeah, I got vibes!
Yeah, I got vibes!
Vibes!
I don't wanna love you, baby!
Vibes!
I can't get enough, baby!
Vibes!
You rock me out maybe!
Baby, I got...
Yeah, I got vibes!
Yeah, I got vibes!
ROCK!!!
Whatever
I went down to the beach and saw Kiki,
She was all like, eehhhh,
And I'm like, WHATEVAH!
And then this chick comes up to me,
and she's all like, hey, aren't you that dude,
And I'm like, yeah, WHATEVAH!
So later, I'm at the poolhall
And this girl comes up and she's all like, awww,
And I'm like, yeah, WHATEVAH!
Cuz this is my United States of Whatever
And this is my United States of Whatever
And this is my United States of Whatever
And then it's 3 AM, I'm on the corner wearin my leather,
This dude comes up to me and says, Hey Punk!
And I'm like, yeah, WHATEVAH!
Then I'm throwin' dice in the alley
Officer Leroy comes up and he's like, hey I thought I told you..
And I'm like, WHATEVAH!
And up comes Zafo, and I'm like Yo! Zafo, whassup?
And he's like, Nuthin.
And I'm like, that's cool.....
Cuz this is my United States of Whatever
And this is my United States of Whatever
Answer the Phone
[We're checkin' IDs, we're checkin' IDs before you get in]
Won't you come to..
[Sifl in background: Answer my phone, answer my phone, answer my phone]
Won't you...
Won't you...
Won't you... leave me alone
Leave me alone, answer the phone
Leave me alone leave me alone...
Answer my phone answer my phone answer my phone answer my phone
Leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone
ANSWER THE PHONE!
ANSWER THE PHONE!
ANSWER THE PHONE!
answerthephoneanswerthephoneanswerthephoneanswerthephone
answerthephoneanswerthephoneanswerthephoneanswerthephone
lalalalalalala lalalalalalala
NO! you can't make me...
I'm coming to answer the telephone NOoowwwww.
You can't make me answer the phone!
Beat Poet
Hey all you cats and chicks out there in Daddy-o-Land
We're comin' to you live from the Keroac Mocha Cave Cafe.
Sifl.
Olly.
Keep the rhythm. Keep the beat.
Keep those crabs off the beach.
And keep it cool Daddy-o.
All you squares out there, take care with those crabs
Slow down, speed up speed up, slow down
HUSH! (Rock)
You have to keep it... cool... cats
Bring it to the muffler guy, I don't know, I'm not that guy
29 dollars in the back of my blue blue jeeeeans
LOUD soft LOUD soft
picture... good
now I'm near
NOW I"M FAR!
