BoB of the Flea Market
The incredible account of conflicting emotions and important soical issues, "BoB of the Flea Market."
The kids piled on the bus once again. This time they were going on a field trip to the flea market to learn about business. "What a stupid idea for a field trip!" mumbled Joe as he got on the bus. "Don't be sad," said BoB, "the flea market is great!"
Just as they were about to leave a fancy new Mercedes drove up. Out came a tall man in a business suit. He walked on to the bus.
"Hello." he said, "I'm from the National Association of Baking Soda Awareness (NABSA), and I'd like to know, where's the baking soda?"
BoB didn't know. "There isn't any!" yelled Phil.
"A FIRE HAZARD!!!!" yelled the man as he jumped back from the shock of realizing what a danger the bus was. "You will be fined $250.00!" the man said as he filled out a ticket. He handed the completed ticket to BoB and went back to his car. He opened the trunk and got out several boxes of Ken Bostic Arm & Golf Club Brand Limited Chrome Edition Authentic Premium Baking Soda. He went back to the bus and put the boxes in the bus. "You'll also be charged $56.00 for the baking soda and $125.00 for my services." He wrote out another ticket and handed it to BoB. "I'll trust you'll have some baking soda on hand next time!" he said as he left.
BoB started swearing. "HOW AM I GOING TO PAY FOR THIS?????!!!!!!!!!!!!" he lit 5 cigarettes and held them out the window when he wasn't puffing on them so he wouldn't get in trouble for smoking on the bus. The bus started and they hit the road once again.
The trip was pretty quiet because the kids knew how angry BoB was. As they were going up a fairly steep hill, a gallon jug of oil that BoB had in the front of the bus tipped over, broke, and started running down the aisle. The kids were all asleep because of how boring the trip was, and didn't notice. BoB started falling asleep too, and dropped his cigarette. Suddenly the bus was a firey inferno! The kids woke up and started yelling "PUT IT OUT!!!!!!! PUT IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!" BoB just got scared and lit another cigarette. Ralph grabbed the baking soda and started putting the fire out. "Thanks Ralph." said BoB. "Now I'm glad we got that baking soda!"
Six hours later the bus pulled into the parking lot of "Big Al's Flea Market and Trash or Treasure Emporium." The kids cheered. As BoB pulled into the parking lot he tried to get a puff of his cigarette at the same time as driving. He swerved and ran over a small stand. The kids cheered. "Oh well," said BoB, "this is as good a parking place as any."
After the kids had been walking around for a while, they found somebody they certainly hadn't expected to see (BoB wasn't with them because he was buying cigarettes and Coneball cards.) It was Ken Bostic and his wife! They were running a small stand full of junky crafts again. They walked up to the stand.
"Oh no!" yelled Ken, "Not you kids again!"
The kids started kicking the stand when the same agent from N.A.B.S.A that they had seen earlier came up to the stand. He wanted to know where the baking soda was.
"I don't have to listen to you!!!!" screamed Ken, "I own half the baking soda in the world!!!!"
The agent and Ken started arguing loudly. BoB heard the commotion and ran over. "All right, what did you whippersnappers do NOW?"
"Nothing BoB!" said Sue, "They just started arguing!"
BoB was bumped from somebody walking by and dropped his cigarette into the stand. Some cheap mineral oil that Ken's wife was selling burst into flames. Soon the stand was a tower of fire. Ken was swearing. "I wish I'd gone golfing!" he said. The kids cheered. The fire started spreading through the whole flea market. "Back to the bus!" BoB yelled.
They got on the bus and tried to leave, but a flaming telephone pole fell over on top of the entrance road. BoB started driving the bus frantically trying to get out of the burning market. He ran over stands and people dived to get out of his way. BoB ran into a small ditch and got stuck. BoB started swearing. The fire got closer and closer to the bus. The kids were scared and huddled together. The fire was about to engulf the bus when suddenly a big cloud of baking soda landed on the bus. It put out the fire around them. The kids looked up and saw several Ken Bostic Baking Soda Emergency Helicopters putting out the flames. The kids cheered. "We owe one to ken Bostic, he saved us!" said BoB. The kids agreed, but then they remembered how they had saved him at the beach, and decided not to do anything, but BoB still wanted to thank them.
After it was all over, BoB managed to start driving out. Ken Bostic was being interviewed live on the news. He was once a again a national hero.
BoB and the kids got out and thanked Ken on live TV.
"What can we do to repay you?" asked BoB. "We can all chip in and replace your stand."
"WHAT??!!!!" yelled Ken. "I want you to give me enough money to buy me three whole flea markets!!!!"
This made BoB and the kids mad that he would be so mean and pushed him over and started kicking him. After all, they had already saved his life at the beach. "OW OW!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!! I GIVE UP!!!!!!!"
The trip home was a long one, but the kids had a lot to talk about. BoB was truly the best bus driver they had ever had.
THE END
Copyright 1996
