An inspiring drama of love, charity, and of helping those less fortunate.

"Quit that, you whippersnappers!" yelled BoB as the kids threw paper airplanes and spitballs at him. "I mean it this time!" he threatened emptily. The kids had started being a lot worse ever since BoB got assigned as their driver to and from school every day.

BoB suddenly swerved off the icy road as wet spitball lodged in his ear.

"AAAAHHHH!" They all screamed as the bus knocked over a sign and ran into a ditch.

Once the bus stopped, BoB started swearing and lit a cigarette. "Are all yuns okay back there?" he asked.

"We’re all okay, BoB," the kids assured.

"You whippersnappers have got me into a whole lot of trouble this time!"

BoB walked off the bus and looked at the sign that had been knocked over.

"One of you kids come down here and read this sign," said BoB, "all the words are too big for me."

Joe volunteered and went down to help his almost illiterate bus driver.

"It says: ‘Help out the Buncombe County Insane Asylum for Christmas.’ It’s just some sort of sign for charity."

"That does it!" exclaimed BoB. "For Christmas this year we’re going to go caroling at the Insane Asylum! It’s about time we got out and did something good for a change!"

The kids moaned.

"We’ll go on Christmas Eve!" said BoB.

"Um, BoB, we’re going to be late for school," informed Sue.

"Oh, um, okay. Let’s pull the bus out of the ditch and I’ll finish taking you kids to school. And you all better be there at the nuthouse next week or I’ll give you a bus suspension!"

One week later, on Christmas Eve, the bus arrived at the Buncombe County Insane Asylum, home to some of Buncombe’s most warped minds.

"All righty then," said BoB as he pulled into the parking space, "yuns get out and we’ll go an’ do some good ol’ caroling."

The kids reluctantly shuffled off the bus.

"LOOK!" screamed Cathy. "IT’S KEN BOSTIC!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Ken as he ran inside the building as fast as he possibly could.

"I wonder what’s wrong with him," commented Phil.

"There’s the corporate bus that Ken Bostic came on," pointed out Clyde.

"Look what the sign on the bus says, ‘Ken Bostic’s Chariot of Charity (Low Hourly Rates for Holiday Entertainment),’ " read Sue.

"Well, no nonsense, let’s get to it!" ordered BoB.

BoB and the kids walked in the building. An administrator was there to get them started.

"Welcome to the Buncombe County Insane Asylum," she said. "Here’s a map of the building." She handed it to BoB. "Don’t go into the areas marked in red. That’s where our, um… ‘less jolly’ residents are located. Know what I mean?"

"Oh, I understand completely," said BoB.

"Okay then, good luck! Merry Christmas and a—THERE’S NO SMOKING IN HERE, SIR!" she screamed as she yanked BoB’s cigarette from his mouth. She stamped off angrily.

After an hour of boring, tasteless caroling (and after listening to BoB sing off-key the whole time), the kids started to whine and complain.

"BoB! This is boring!" said Derek.

"Yeah, these people aren’t crazy, they’re just extremely dull," added Ralph.

"Well," said BoB, "what can I do to make it more excitin’?"

Maria got an idea.

"Hey BoB," she said innocently, "why don’t we go to some of the red areas on the map. We haven’t gone into any of them."

"But, I thought that lady said we weren’t supposed—"

"She said we were supposed to go into the red areas, because those people are ‘less jolly’ and need some cheering up!"

"OOOOOhhhhhhhhhh," said BoB. "Well, okay, let’s do it!"

They all proceeded into one of the restricted areas. They soon came to the first room and went in. An old man was sitting at a table in the room. As soon as they came in the man quickly hid something under the table.

"Um, hi," said BoB, "we’re here to sing some Christmas carols."

"YOU CAN’T HAVE NONE OF MY GOLD!" the man screamed.

"What? We were just—"

"I WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE TO GET ME THIS HERE GOLD AND I AIN’T GIVING IT UP TO NO CLAIM-JUMPING VARMITS!"

As soon as the kids left, the man pulled out his fool’s gold again.

"I’m not sure this is such a good idea," said BoB.

"Oh, come on, BoB!" said Billy. "These people really do need cheering up."

"Yeah, I guess you’re right," conceded BoB.

They continued along their path.

They eventually came to another room, where a man was sitting on his bed, looking like he was about to cry.

"We’re here to cheer ya up!" BoB said enthusiastically.

"You brought a puppy?!!??!" the man said as he perked up.

"Um, no… but we brought some holiday cheer!"

"Oh," he sighed, "all I wanted was a puppy." His lower lip started to tremble.

Their conversation was interrupted when the administrator broke in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?! GET DOWNSTAIRS, NOW!"

BoB and the kids hurried out.

"Did you bring me a puppy, Mrs. Stuart?" the man asked while tears started to form in his big, baby-like eyes.

"No, Murry, pets aren’t allowed here, I’ve told you that before."

"But, but… all I want is a cute little puppy…"

The lady walked out right before she would have succumbed and gotten the poor guy a dog.

As they were walking downstairs, BoB noticed something through the corner of his eye.

"WOW! It’s my cousin BOb!"

"Hey BoB!" the man said with his equally redneck accent.

"You two have the same name?" asked Donny.

"No, his name his spelled capital ‘B’, capital ‘O’, and lower-case ‘b’.

"Oh, I see."

"What have yuns been up to?" asked BOb.

"We’re just singing some Christmas carols," explained BoB.

"Wow. Well, I don’t about you guys, but I’m gonna break out of here and go coon huntin’, even if it’s the last thing I do! I hunted them coons every year until they stuck me in here!"

"Well, I’ll talk to you later," said BoB, "we have to go before the administrator catches us."

"Okay, we’ll go coon huntin’ together sometime!"

When the kids came down, they saw a man in a Santa Claus suit dancing and singing "Ruldoph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" to a crowd of asylum residents.

"What an idiot!" observed Jim.

"LOOK!" screamed Suzie.

Santa’s beard had come off to reveal none other than Ken Bostic. The kids and the bored crowd started laughing. Ken started swearing under his breath and tried to get his beard back in place.

"DON’T LAUGH!" yelled Ken in his defense. "I paid a lot of money to help build this place! Just because I’m doing it as a public relations stunt—I mean, um… just because I’m not a perfect Santa Claus doesn’t mean you need to make fun of me!"

Ken was finally embarrassed off the stage (as the kids cheered his departure) and one of his employees came on and started reading Christmas poems.

"Well," said Daniel, "what shall we do now?"

"Um, BoB, can we please go back into the ‘red zone’? It was a lot more fun," begged Susie.

"Well, maybe just for a few minutes. It was a lot more interesting."

BoB and the kids went up to the very top floor.

"Hopefully we can avoid that annoying administrator up here," said BoB as he lit up a cigarette.

They came to the first room.

"This room is odd,’ observed BoB, "there’s only one little window in the door, and inside there’s padding all over the walls."

"It’s a rubber room, BoB," said Joey.

"Well," said BoB, "let’s open it up and start singin’!"

Carl noticed who was inside and tried to warn BoB. "No, WAIT!"

It was too late. BoB had barely opened the door when a man in a straitjacket barged through.

"IT’S GARY! RUN!!!!!!!!!!"

They all ran downstairs and out the door.

"HE’S STILL RUNNING! OH NO, HE GOT OUT OF HIS STRAITJACKET!"

"GET ON THE BUS!" screamed BoB.

They piled on the bus and BoB revved it up.

"He’s chasing the bus, BoB!"

"Don’t let him suck on the exhaust pipe, he’ll just get stronger!"

"Faster, BoB!"

Gary chased the bus, trying to get some of the nutritious diesel exhaust, while BoB swerved the bus all around the parking lot.

"OH NO!" screamed BoB.

Before they realized what was happening, the bus crashed into the side of the building, collapsing one wall and leaving some rooms exposed to the outside. BoB, thinking unusually quickly, turned off the engine and locked the door.

Ken Bostic ran out of the building and started yelling.

"NOOOOOO! I’M RUINED! EVERYONE WILL HATE ME NOW! WHY CAN’T I EVER KEEP UP MY PUBLIC RELATIONS!"

Residents of the asylum started running out the building.

"Uh-oh."

The old man ran by while yelling triumphantly, "I CAN GO GET SOME MORE GOLD! I’M GONNA STRIKE IT RICH!"

Murry, the puppy-loving lunatic, ran out and started murmuring, "Is there a puppy out here? Where are the puppies?"

BoB’s cousin, BOb, ran out and screamed, "I CAN FINALLY GO COON HUNTIN’! YEE-HAW!!!!!!!!!"

As the police came to the incident, Gary ran off to parts unknown and BoB put the pedal to the metal and evaded prosecution.

"Well," said BoB, "at least we did something worth-while for Christmas. But next year we’ll go coon huntin’ with my cousin BOb!"

The kids cheered.

Murry petted his new friend, a stray dog off the street. "Hey little puppy." They walked into the sunset together.