Coneball BoB
The compelling untrue-life story that made history the world around and caused coneball to be the number one sport on the earth, Coneball BoB.
BoB, once again the kids bus driver (the school was desperate for more bus drivers and hired him again), pulled into the parking lot of the expo center.
This field trip was to the second annual Buncombe county coneball championships.
The parking lot was full, BoB couldn't find a place to park.
"Hurry up, BoB! The game starts in ten minutes!" said Jim (coneball was his favorite sport.)
So BoB casually ran over two motor cycles parked in a parking space and acted like he didn't notice the motorcycles were there. The kids cheered.
"Okay ya'll. Get off so we can get to the game!" said BoB.
The kids ran off the bus, but instead of going inside, they stopped at a vendor's booth to by some Coneball: The Battleground Customizable Card Game cards.
"KIDS!" yelled BoB, "We don't have time to buy cards!"
"What if I get a Coach Tilson?" said Sue, making an excuse.
"Or a Coach Hyatt Duck Sniper?! We have to try!" suggested Tim.
"Oh, all right, but only if you buy me a pack!" said BoB. He felt left out because he didn't Coneball: The Battleground.
Phil tossed a pack to BoB. BoB opened it. "I GOT A SHRIMPY COACH CARD!!!" he yelled wildly. The kids cheered. BoB decided he should start collecting Coneball Cards and bought 30 packs for $675.
The kids walked inside and found an empty section just big enough for the class in the bleachers. It was then that Joe noticed who was sitting in front of them. It was Ken Bostic and his wife!
Ken Bostic was slumped in his seat with his arms crossed. He had an angry lookon his face. The kids and BoB heard him mumble to himself. "Why did we have to come to this stupid place?! I should be golfing or making lots of money at the flea market! And it's a perfect day for golfing too!" The kids looked out the high windows.
Baseball-sized hail was falling from the sky. His wife heard his last sentence and said: "Stop being such a baby! If you're good today I'll take you to Hooters every night this week."
Suddenly Ken Bostic had a new interest in coneball. "Wow, Hooters for week! We should come to Coneball games more often!"
The game was about to begin. The announcer introduced the players. Rusty wasthe team captain for the Trekkies, and Blaine was the team captain for the Wiggers. It was a very exciting game. But Clyde and Cathy got an idea. They both threw a spoon on the court. Blaine and Rusty both had serious spoon-tripping accidents and had to leave the game. The coach of the game yelled out; "Who threw those spoons?!" Clyde and Cathy pointed at BoB and Ken Bostic. The coach announced that since the team captains were out, BoB and Ken would have to take the their places. The kids cheered.
The game was rated as the most interesting game ever played in coneball history.
News reporters from every station were filming as the game heated up. The score was tied and BoB was getting tired because he hadn't had a cigarette in hours.
Ken Bostic threw a ball and knocked over the cone. Another point for the Wiggers! The crowd went wild.
The game went on for 45 more minutes until the time ran out. It was a tie thanks to a save by the Trekkies star coneguard, Noah. So the team captains had to have a shoot-off. It was then the announcer reported that the head of Creative Cones Inc. was going to make a coneball card of which ever captain won. The room was dead silent.
BoB stepped up to the line and threw his ball, it missed.
"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, BoB!" yelled Jim.
Ken Bostic was running up to throw his ball. He tripped on a spoon that the coach had forgot to pick up, and the ball went sailing and knocked the Trekkies cone over. The crowd went absolutely crazy. Now Ken Bostic would have his own Coneball card, and BoB was a total loser in the coneball world.
On the way home the bus was quiet. BoB was opening his packs of coneball cards as he drove. "I GOT A SHORT-HANDLED SPOON CARD!! It's worth $55! Well," said BoB, "my luck had to change sometime." Jim came up to BoB and said: "It's okay, BoB. You can enter the coneball leagues next year and make your mark on coneball history."
"Thanks, Jim. I don't what I'd do without you guys. Come on, I'll take you all out to eat!" The kids cheered.
Look for exciting installments of "BoB of the Flea Market", and "BoB saves Coneball."
Copyright 1996
