(Author's Rantings)------------------------------------------- Well, I must say that I'm quite pleased with myself for this story! Lots of cameos and a very long story! And no boring scenes that dwell with Teem's background! ^_^ (Beginning of Story)------------------------------------------ Episode Twenty-Six: Murder, I Wrote Narrator: (For some unknown reason, he now has a high-sounding nasal voice and a slight English accent.) We join our vil- lains today in the Secret Fraternal Lodge of Nefarious Evil- Doers! (The scene is in a brightly-colored, yellowish room [kind of like a hotel reception room]. Giovanni is sitting in an easy chair, wearing a red fez and smoking jacket. Three other villains are sitting around. One, an overweight cartoony crow-like creature wearing a bright, gaudy space suit under his smoking jacket and a space helmet. Two, a scrawny, some- what disturbed-looking individual with a labcoat and rubber gloves [he also has a monkey growing out of his head for no apparent reason]. And three, a bald, chunky fellow with a silvery uniform on and pale skin.) Professor Monkey-for-a-Head: (Yep! That's the crazy-lookin' dude!) You know, it is SO hard to find good henchmen these days! Monkey: Ook ook! PsyCrow: (The goofy crow.) Oh! Henchmen! (He shakes his head.) Don't talk to me about henchmen! Oh brudda'! Giovanni: I hear ya, brother! You know all those stupid teen- agers I got working for me? (Everyone nods.) Well, I had these three who just couldn't do ANYTHING at all! The only thing they ever managed to steal was the spotlight! They even refused to carry handguns! PsyCrow: What a bunch a' losa's! Dr. Evil: (The pale guy.) Well, you had them exterminated, didn't you? (Raises his pinky to his lips and gets a stupid grin.) Giovanni: Well... er... ¬ ¬; No, actually... (Cough.) All 3: WHAT? Giovanni: I just... fired them... Dr. Evil: Let me get this straight: You're a frickin' gang leader who's frickin' employees can't even carry a frickin' handgun and you didn't have the frickin' heart to have 'em frickin' exterminated? What kinda' frickin' gang leader are you? Giovanni: Well... (Whine.) They're just kids... PsyCrow: That kinda' t'ing neva' stopped ya'z before! Giovanni: ... and one of them... is family... Prof. Monkey-for-a-Head: What a lame excuse! Monkey: Eeka ook! Prof. Monkey-for-a-Head: NO you can't have a banana now! I'm talking here! Dr. Evil: (High-and-Mighty tone.) Look here, Mr. Big-Shot Gang Leader! If you want to make a frickin' omelette, ya' gotta' break a few frickin' eggs, catch my drift? Giovanni: Um... ::blinkblink:: No... Prof. MFH: Kill them! Dr. Evil: Exterminate them! PsyCrow: Make 'em dead! Monkey: Oooh ah ook! Dr. Evil: Or else you can't stay in our club! So there! (Goofy stare with his pinky raised AGAIN.) Giovanni: Alright! Fine! You want 'em dead? Consider it done! (He runs out the room and off to HQ.) PsyCrow: Eh... so now what? Monkey: Ooh ah ook! PsyCrow: Hey, Prof! Tell your head to shut up! Prof. MFH: You cannot talk to my MONKEY like that! PsyCrow: Oh yeah? Come 'ere, ya' little... thing, you! (PsyCrow and Professor Monkey-for-a-Head break out into a fight. Dr. Evil watches them for a while, then jumps up and yells...) Dr. Evil: EVERYBODY CONGA!!! (He then dances in a conga line with MiniMe, Fat B--[uh...] Fat Bum [^_^;], Darth Vader, Dr. Smith [from Lost in Space], and Whoopie Goldberg. Thankfully, the scene changes right after that.) Giovanni: (He is sitting at his desk again, talking to Sirius and Max.) Now do you PERFECTLY understand the orders that I'm giving to you? Sirius and Max: (They both salute.) Yes sir! (They grin sadis- tically.) Giovanni: Good! At least I can depend on you. Max: Ya' want us to go gunnin' for 'em now, sir? Giovanni: No... just wait. They'll be right here eventually and then we'll have the home court advantage! (Everyone laughs insanely for a few minutes. During this time, Giovanni's persian looks around, terrified by their beha- vior. Finally, after about 5 minutes, the laughter dies down.) Max: Hmm... ^_^; Giovanni: Heh... Yeah... ^_^; Sirius: Yes, well, um... heh... ^_^; Giovanni: Oh! I almost forgot! Get those other clowns in here! Sirius: (Salute.) Yes sir! (Sirius and Max walk out of the office and into the "waiting room" where Alex, Abra, and Jolteon are sitting.) Jolteon: (Flipping through a magazine.) Hey, guys, whaddaya think about dis "Digimon" thing, anyway? Alex: (Holding Abra's hand.) I don't tell you very often, but I love you, Abra! I love you! Abra: Oh, Alex! I love you too! Why don't we run off together, just like Jessie and James did? ^_^ Jolteon: Uhhhhh yeah... ::blinkblink:: (He looks up and sees Sirius and Max.) Hey, guys! Whaddaya YOU think about "Digi- mon"? Max: (Shrug.) Eh, seems okay to me... Sirius: (Ignoring their idiotic banter.) The Boss requests your presence. I suggest that you enter his office quickly, he's in a more jovial mood than usual and it would be a shame if you were to ruin it. Jolteon: What? Max: Mister G. wants ya' in there quick. (He points his thumb back towards the office.) Jolteon: Oh, okay. Come on, kids. (Abra and Alex look down at him.) And quit makin' out! You know how da' Boss hates dat! Abra and Alex: AWWWW! Darn... (They kiss quickly, then follow Jolteon into the office.) Jolteon: (In his most excellent "sucking up" voice.) Good evenin', Mista' Boss sir! And what mission do we have da' hona' of p'formin' fo' ya? Giovanni: ::blinkblink:: Alex... why do you have lipstick on? Alex: Wha? Abra: UHHHH... (She grabs Alex and wipes the lipstick off on her sleeve.) We were uh... testing a few different dis- guises, sir! ^_^; Heheheheh... Giovannni: Yeah, I'll bet ¬ ¬ Well, anyway, my assignment for you is um... a little unique. Normally, I'd have assigned someone like Butch or Cassidy for this, but I believe the irony of such a situation would fit well... besides, the Author told me to assign you. Jolteon: Well, dat's wonda'ful, sir! What is it? Abra: (Whispering to Alex.) Howcome Jolteon does all the talking in these situations? Alex: (Whispering to Abra.) I don't know... Giovanni: In order to keep the Team's secrets undercover, I need you to take care of Jessie and James' group. Jolteon: Ya' mean like bribe 'em so dey don't squeal, right? Giovanni: Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of... murder. (Everyone goes pale and has a shocked expression on his face.) Jolteon: JOL! MURDA?!? Abra: Sir! We've never killed anyone before! Alex: Yeah! I mean... hey... wait a minute! I get to kill Teem? ALLLLLLRIGHT! (Abra slaps him and Jolteon bites his leg.) OWCH! Cut it out, guys! Giovanni: Well, I believe it's time that you younger members were a little tougher. I don't want Team Rocket to become nothing more than a handful of wimpy pickpockets. Abra: (Picking Alex's pocket.) I understand, sir. Alex: (Picking Abra's pocket.) That makes perfect sense. Giovanni: Are you picking each other's pockets? Jolteon: Actually, sir, dat's kind of a flirtin' ting dey do. Giovanni: Right... (He glares at them for a moment, making them feel very uncomfortable.) You know, if you succeed in this mission, I MAY consider funding a marriage for you two. Alex: REALLY? Abra: HOOHAH! Jolteon: You'ah talkin' like Teem again! Abra and Alex: (They both salute.) We're on it, sir! ^_^ You can count on us! (They both run out of the office. Alex grabs Jolteon's paw and pulls him out of the office.) Giovanni: Boy, these stupid kids will fall for anything... And people wonder why I always hire 'em... (The scene switches to Ash and Co.) Brock: (Begging on his knees.) Pleeeeeeeze, Mr. Author! Please let this story be a good one for once! Misty: (Looking through the script.) Well, no backstories or any scenes dwelling on "Táem Rřkatęu" so far... Teem: That's TEEM! Teem Rřkatęu! Misty: Whatever. (Ash and James are talking shop about all their badges.) Ash: Wow, James! You're better than I ever thought you'd be! And it only took you a few weeks to get those? James: Yeah! Hey, I might even be better than you now! Ash: I don't think so... - -; James: Well, at least we're even now. Ash: Yeah, well I WOULD have the 8th Badge, but MEOWTH wouldn't tell me where it was... Dexter: You could have asked ME, genius-boy! Ash: And DEXTER has just been a jerk lately... James: The 8th Badge? That's easy! It's in-- (Jessie jumps him suddenly.) Jessie: JAMES! NO! O o; James: What's wrong, honey? Ash: Yeah, Jess. You didn't drink too much coffee again, did you? (Jessie whispers something to James.) EWWW! Gross! Stop doing that, you two! Can't you wait until you get back home or something? > <; James: EEP! You're right, Jessie! ^_^; Well, Ash, uh... I guess I just forgot where that last gym is! Hehe! Ash: AWWWWW!!!! PLEEEEEEEEZE? (Chibi Eyes.) Jessie: Sorry, Ash! You're not getting any info from us! Ash: (Whines loudly.) But I wanna' get the last BAAAAADGE! Where is the gym? James and Jessie: Nope! Not gonna' tell! (They shake their heads stubbornly.) Melissa: (She walks over and looks at Ash.) You mean the gym in Viridian? James and Jessie: MELISSA! Melissa: What? Ash: Thanks, Melissa! ^_^ Jessie: Melissa, you stupid pokéfreak! Why did you tell him where the gym was? Melissa: Because he asked... and don't call me a pokéfreak... James: Don't you realize the danger that will put us in? And why shouldn't we call you that? That's what you are! Melissa: We'll be fine, you big babies! And I'm NOT a pokémon anymore, so BACK OFF! Jessie: That's easy for you to say, and besides, you used to be a pokémon so you're still a FREAK! Melissa: OH YEAH? Jessie and James: Yeah! (They all jump into a fight and Pikachu hops over.) Pikachu: Pika! Cha puchapika! Kapichu! {Cut it out, guys! Quit fighting!} (He waves his little arms around and wiggles his ears.) Delet: (Waddles in behind him.) Deleeeeeet... Delet let let del delet? {Heyyyyyy... why not just let them have their fun and we can just spend some time together, cutey?} ^_^ Pikachu: (Blinks at Delet.) Kapicha? {Do you ever stop flirting?} Delet: Let. {No.} (Meanwhile, Ash runs up cheerfully to Brock and Misty.) Ash: Guys! Guys! I found out where the last gym is! It's in Viridian City! Misty: Oh yeah! Now I remember! There was a gym there when we met (and you TRASHED my bike, by the way, but I'm not MAD or anything!), but it was closed then... (Meowth runs up to Jessie and James, flailing his arms around like mad.) Meowth: You idiots! Why'dja tell 'im where da' gym was? Now we'll have to see da' Boss AGAIN!!! (He scratches both of them across the face. James promptly kicks him.) Jessie: We didn't tell him! SHE did! (Jessie points accusingly to Melissa.) Melissa: Hi... (She waves nervously.) Meowth: Melissa! What the @#$% were ya' thinkin? The Boss is gonna' KILL us! Melissa: Calm down, fuzzy! Giovanni won't kill us! Don't you remember? He promised that he wouldn't hurt us! Meowth: But 'e neva' said dat he wouldn't hire someone ELSE ta' do it! Melissa: (She covers her mouth with one hand and turns pale.) Oops... (Scene fades to the gang walking onward to Viridian. The Ex- Rockets all look scared except for Teem, who's busy working on Dexter.) Teem: (He has Dexter, with the back panel off, in one hand and his tail is curled around a screwdriver in case he might need it.) Geeze, Ashter! There's a lot of dust in this Poké- Dex™ unit! You really should clean it regularly! Ash: How am I supposed to do that? Teem: Well, there ARE PokéDex™ cleaning kits that you can just buy at any PokéMart, but I suggest buying a GameBoy™ one from Wal*Mart or something, it would be cheaper. (He blows a LOT of dust out of Dexter's components and coughs.) Dexter: (The words appear on his screen as he talks.) Whoa! Hey, buddy! Try bein' a little more careful there! Teem: (Cough cough.) Quiet, Dex! (Cough.) I gotta' get you cleaned up somehow... (He whispers the next part.) So we can at least turn you off... Dexter: (The word "Way" appears on his screen with the NO symbol around it.) There's NO WAY You're turnin' me off, buddy-boy! (The screen goes blank for a second when he says "off," then flicks back on.) Teem: Oh shut up! (He puts the back panel back on and shuts the unit.) Dexter: HEY! WAIT! Stop (A hand appears on the screen.) in the name of love! Teem: Here, Ash. You can deal with it now. Ash: (Takes Dexter and shoves him in his pocket.) Gee, thanks loads, Teem. ¬ ¬; Dexter: No one can defeat Dexter the PokéDex! BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA! (Just as everyone is about to yell "Shut up!" at him, a gun- shot knocks Dexter out of Ash's hand. Everyone then freaks out.) Ash: OMIGOSH! Dexter, are you alright? (He picks up Dexter and flips the unit open. The words "Cough, sputter, cough" appear on his screen. Another gunshot knocks Ash's hat off and Misty jumps him in fear.) Misty: ASH! I think someone's shooting at us! Pikachu: Ka pika cha pikachu pika? {Gee, what tipped you off, Misty?} (The Team Rocket background music plays -from nowhere, of course- and Abra, Alex, and Jolteon jump into the scene.) Abra: Prepare for--(Everyone jumps the TR trio.)OOF! Alex: What are you fools doing? Teem: Someone's shooting at us! Watch out! Alex: That was US, you stupid blue-skinned son of a $#@%$! Teem: Well, hello to you too! Brock: (He looks at Abra with a stern expression.) Why were you shooting at us? (He then gets all goofy and girl-crazy.) You didn't have to do THAT to get my attention... beh heh... Abra: It's not that we want to. The Boss told us to. Now GET OFF OF ME! (She kicks him off with a well-aimed boot in... well... =^_^;=) Brock: (Quiet, painful voice.) ow... > <; (Delet and Pikachu try not to laugh.) James: EEEEEEEE!!!! (He runs around frantically in wild circles, waving his arms around like a madman.) We're gonna' die! We're gonna' die! We're gonna' die!!!!!! Meowth: I tolt' ya' the Boss was gonna' have us killed! (He jumps Melissa and shakes her by the shoulders.) Do you WANT us all to die? Melissa: Get off of me, you rabid hairball! (She grabs Meowth by the tail and throws him a good 6 feet. Before hurtling through the air, however, Meowth manages to cut her arm.) Meowth: MEEEEAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!! O o; Melissa: OWCH! > <; (She grabs her arm and winces.) Teem: MY BABY! (He leaps off of Alex and picks up Melissa.) It's okay, honey... shhhh... (He hugs her and wraps one of his armbands around the cut.) Ash: Um... Jessie > < could you get your boot out of my eye? Jessie: Well, I WOULD if Misty would get off of my back! Misty: Oh, sorry, guys! (She jumps up, followed by Jessie and Ash. Jolteon's muffled whimpering comes from under Alex and Abra, who hop up as well, revealing a flattened Jolteon on the ground.) Jolteon: > < (Talking like a cranky old man.) Daaahhhhhwww... The life I lead is saaaaad... Misty: Sooooo... (Big fake smile.) You say Giovanni ordered us all killed, eh? ^_^; Abra: Well, not all of you, just... YOU GUYS! (She holds a gun up to Jessie and the still-spazzing James.) Alex: (He grabs Teem and Melissa and holds a gun up to them, smiling satanically.) Oooohhhhhh... this is going to be soooooooooooo rewarding! ^_^ Abra: (She starts to cry.) I'm really sorry about this, guys. Jessie: We are too! Ash: Uh huh, so uh... if it's no problem to you... G'BYE! (He dashes off, grabbing Misty and Brock, who grab Meowth and Jessie, who grab Teem [still holding Melissa] by the tail and James [still spazzing out] by the arm. Pikachu and Delet scamper behind them like mad.) Pikachu: PIKAPI! Chu kapikachu pika chu ka kapi pikachu! {Gee! I never thought we'd have people trying to KILL us now!} Misty: You haven't seen many of our anti-websites, then... Delet: Let del delet delet delet del del del! {I think it's cool! I feel like a character in an action movie!} ^_^ Ash: You are one sick, strange little creature... Delet: ^_~ Delet! {Thank you!} Melissa: (Hugging Teem as tightly as possible.) Teemy! I'm so scared! What if they catch up with us? Teem: (He hugs her comfortingly.) It's okay, babe. We'll be alright... James: (Hugging Jessie as tightly as possible.) Jessie! I'm so scared! What if they catch up with us? Jessie: (She hugs him comfortingly.) It's okay, babe. We'll be alright... Jessie and Teem: You know the Author won't kill us all off that easily! James and Melissa: Oh yeah! ^_^ Dexter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Look at you stupid little kids run! Oh, this is RIGHTEOUS! I'm bustin' a diode here! ^_^ Brock: Hey! I thought they broke you! Dexter: Eh, I was just fakin'. (Thanks to the miracle of lazy fanfic writers, they quickly arrive at Viridian.) Ash: Okay, guys! Here's the plan! James and I will go to the gym and get the badge! The rest of you will go the police and tell them about Abra and Alex! (James whimpers.) Everyone: Right! (They run off to the police station as Ash and James head to the Viridian Gym.) James: Uh... you know, Ash... there ARE other jobs in the world... I mean, we don't HAVE to be pokémon trainers... Ash: What are you saying, James? James: (Dark purple background with black squiggly lines.) I don't wanna' die, Ash! (He starts crying.) I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared! Why don't we just go? Ash: James! (He slaps James across the face. There is an ex- aggerated action scene with a bright red background with those action lines, Ash slapping James, and James wincing with a big red slap mark across his cheek and a spit drop flying.) Snap out of it! James: (Rubbing his face.) Thanks, Ash... I needed that. Ash: No problem, big guy. (Pats James on the back.) Just don't go all crazy on me again! James: Alright. (They walk into the gym, where it is extremely dark, just like in the "GUEST STARS!!!" episode. All you can see in the dark is the square light cast by the open door and shadows of Ash and James [oh, yeah, you can see their eyes of course, like any good cartoon.]) Ash: Hellooooo? Anybody home? James: This is giving me a bad case of deja vu, Ash... Ash: Calm down, James! (He starts calling again.) HELLOOOOOO? James: WELL! Looks like no one's here! ^_^ Guess we can leave! (He starts to turn around when the door shuts, leaving them in complete darkness except for their eyes. James whimpers. Two familiar voices are heard in the darkness.) Voice 1: Hmm... what a pity... only two of our targets are here. (Dexter's voice pipes up from Ash's pocket.) Dexter: I'm here too! Voice 2: Who cares? Blast 'em all! Let the archeologists sort 'em out! Dexter: I care. Voice 1: Patience, my esteemed colleague. If we are to fully complete this mission, we must eradicate their entire team. Voice 2: All the better to start with them! Voice 1: Wait! ... the others will come... Dexter: (Whispers.) If you wait... they will come... Ash: (Defiant voice.) Whoever you are, we're not afraid of you! Are we, James? James: (Squeal.) No.... (Dissolve to the rest of the gang at the police station. Every one is talking at the same time to none other than Officer Jenny, of course.) Misty: ...and they're trying to kill us... Meowth: ...two kids... Delet: ...delet del delet... {...one dead sexy jolteon...} Teem: ...held up a gun... Jessie: ...dark blue hair, green eyes... Melissa: ...green spikey hair, brown eyes... Pikachu: ...pika pikachu pika... {...Abra, Alex...} Brock: You know, I'm single, what do you say we set up a date after we solve this little mystery? Beh heh heh heh... Jenny: My word! We're not used to murderers in Viridian! Usually we just get a pickpocket or two! We're going to have to call in our special forces on this! By the way, handsome, (She winks at Brock.) Maybe I can work something out later! Everyone: Thanks! Brock: Beh heh... ^_^; Jessie: So who are your special forces? (A humorous cop-show style theme song starts to play as the words "Go-Go, Gadget Brake Pedal" are heard. There's a crash sound, a "Sorry, Ma'am! Official police business," and then, a tall man in a trenchcoat and a hat walks in.) Gadget: At your service, kids! Inspector Gadget is never too busy for a case! (He shakes hands with everyone, and, being the polite guy that he is, adds...) Wowzers, what a couple of beautiful young ladies! (Misty, Melissa, and Jessie blush.) Delet: (Flips her wrist.) Leeeet... delet delet del. {Awwww... you're too kind.} (Next, there's a jazzy theme playing, another crash, and a high-pitched wise-guy voice saying "Gee, Sam! It's a shame we had to wreck that cool-lookin' Delorian!" A deep, gruff voice adds "Don't worry, little buddy! Looked like a police car to me! I'm sure the police budget will cover it!" Then, a 5 foot tall brown cartoony dog in a detective suit and a short, 3 foot tall hyperactive white rabbity creature walk in.) Teem: SAM AND MAX! FREELANCE POLICE! (He gets big fanboyish hearts in his eyes.) Sam: (The dog. Both he and Max appear highly-detailed in front of a splashy painted background.) You called about a murderer? Max: (The rabbit.) Pffft! Peice o' cake! (He flips his wrist.) We'll have those goons cold by dinnertime! (The last noise is a goofy, deep voice going "Bee-boop! Bee- boop! Bee-booop!" and ANOTHER crash! The voice then goes "Oh, I'm sorry, Mister DeSoto! Did I wreck your paint job? TOO BAD! NYAHAH!" Max spazzes out.) Max: Our DeSoto! Sam: Down, boy. (A fat, pantsless red cop walks into the room.) Red: (Scottish accent.) Hellooooooo, ladiesh! Officer O'Fannygan here! (His eyes bug out at the cast.) Hey! Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Pikachu: Pika... Brock: I was about to say the same thing... Max: YOU CHEAP TWO-BIT PUNK! YOU WRECKED OUR DeSOTO! (He jumps Red.) Red: Whoa! Steady men! AAAAGH! NO NO!!! OOH! That SMARTS! I... Oh! Hey, I, oooohhh... hahah!!! Sam: Sorry about that, Officer O'Heiney. Max kind of gets choked up over our car... Red: Officer O'Fannygan! Sam: Sorry about that, I mean O'Fannygan! Red: O'HEINEY! Gadget: Hey! I've seen that face before! You must be a M.A.D. agent! (He tackles Teem.) Teem: OWCH! HEY! LEMME GO! (Everyone gets a sweatdrop and sighs one of those little sigh- dustclouds. The scene then changes to the gym again, every thing is dark and the voices are still heard.) Voice 2: Come on, come on! I'm gettin' impatient here! Dexter: Ssss... Ssss... It makes usss impatient, Preciousss... Ash: Quiet, you! Dexter: Doesss it like riddlesss, my Preciousss? *Gollum!* (James squeals.) Voice 1: Cease your inane chatter, mindless contraption! Dexter: Senssse hossstility, we do, my Preciousss... *Gollum!* (James whimpers again.) James: Ash! Make Dexter stooooop! Dexter: The blue-haired one isss scared, it isss... Sss... (From outside, the phrase "FREEZE! This is the police!" is heard. The door to the gym is kicked open suddenly by Sam, who grabs his foot in pain.) Sam: OOHHH! That feels terrible! > <; Teem: Well, maybe if you wore SHOES... (The lights go on suddenly, revealing Sirius and Max [the human, not the rabbit] with guns, knives, and other such deadly implements. Ash squints in the bright light and James is cowering behind him. Dexter keeps up his "Gollum" voice.) Dexter: SSSSSS!!! Cursed yellow face! SSSSS!!! *Gollum!* (human) Max: Where did that light come from? Sam: Good work, little buddy! (Rabbit Max is seen standing triumphantly by a light switch.) Red: OOH! That little badger guy is a GENIUS! (Rimshot.) Sam: Alright, boys... ATTACK! (Sam, Max, and Red jump Sirius and Max and start up one of those dust-cloud fights.) Delet: Del let delet deleeet del... {But those weren't the killers we were talking about...} (The fight stops instantly. Red has a knife sticking right out of his back [no blood, of course], and a black eye. Rabbit Max is biting human Max, and Sam is holding Sirius [also with a black eye] at gunpoint.) Everyone: What? (A door opens in the back of the gym and Giovanni walks out.) Giovanni: What do you think you're doing in my gym? (Acting completely innocent.) This is a place for pokémon battles, not street brawls! Melissa: Whatchoo talkin' bout, G? Teem: Yeah, biggun! You were the one who assign--(Giovanni runs up and puts his hand over Teem's mouth.) Giovanni: Shut up, tail-boy, or I'll have ya' capped. (Alex, Abra, and Jolteon run in whining.) Alex: Giovanni, sir! They all got awayyyyy!!! Jolteon: We tried ta' kill 'em! Abra: Really! We did! Giovanni: SHHHH!!! Jolteon: Whatcha' shushin' us foa'h, Boss? Abra: Yeah! You'd think the cops were here or some---thing... (They all look at the cops, then grin.) Alex and Abra: Ohhhhhh... ^_^; Rabbit Max: OOH! Does this mean I get to kick more sissy white Japanese villain butt? Sam: Can't think of any reason not to! Red: OOh! Oh, this is so exCITING! Yes! Hahaha! Giovanni: SIRIUS! Take care of them! Sirius: At your command, my liege! (His eyes turn red and he squints strangely. Everything goes black instantaneously. The scene fades back in a few moments later. Ash wakes up dizzily while Dexter is singing "End of the World.") Ash: Wha... Dexter: It's the end of the world as we know i...OH! Welcome back, Ashy-boy! I thought you all were going to miss the fun! Ash: May? Is that you? Dexter: Nope! Just me! Dexter, the endearingly coarse PokéDex, (Sings again.) And I feel fiiiiine! (Ash looks up at Sirius, Alex, Max, and Giovanni grinning evilly at him, all holding guns. Abra and Jolteon are standing there, looking a little sad.) Max: Any last requests, Ashy-boy? Ash: What are you doing? Alex: We're going to kill you, plain and simple... Abra: Sorry, Ash... (Sigh.) Sirius: It's nothing personal, you understand. Ash: Why are you doing this? Giovanni: Well, in order for me to stay in my villains frater- nity, I had to make sure that Jessie, James, Meowth, and Teem were destroyed, but you kind of complicated the matter. Sirius: What? Jolteon: You were gonna' make us kill 'em just so you could stay in ya' club? Abra: That's evil! Giovanni: That's the point! Max: Ah, who cares! I wanna' kill them anyway! Alex does too! Alex: Well, I really just want to kill Teem and Melissa... Giovanni: Look! I'm the boss and I say kill them! Abra: NO! Jolteon: Don't wanna! Giovanni: Listen here, you... (During the fight, everyone else has started to wake back up.) Misty: Ash, what's going on? Ash: I don't really know, Misty... Sam: Hmm... my guess is that Mr. Giovanni over there had his psychic buddy knock us all out with the power of his mind and then had us all tied up... (Oh yeah, they're all tied up together, by the way, I forgot to say that.) ...and now they plan on filling us full of lead! Rabbit Max: Pfft! That old chestnut? Sam: It is quite old, isn't it? James: But... but... I just got married! I'm too young to die! Pikachu: Pika chu cha pi pikachu chu ka ka kapikachu! KAPIKACHUUUUU! {My very image is worth millions to Nintendo, KidsWB, GameFreak, and many other companies! I'm too expensive to die!} Red: I'm too fat and ugly to die! NOOOOO! Melissa: Hey, wait... wasn't there another member of our party? Meowth: Hey, yeah... Teem: Where's Gadget? Ash and James: WHO? (The music plays again as Inspector Gadget rushes into the gym.) Gadget: Sorry, kids! I had a little trouble with the Gadget- Mobile! Delet: Delet del let del! {But the gym was close enough to walk!} Gadget: Whatever. (Shrug.) Now... (He cracks his knuckles and points to the Rockets.) Go-Go, Gadget Handgun! Giovanni: (Sarcastic.) Oh no... I'm so scared. Sirius: (Hugs Giovanni.) Oh dear! Don't let him shoot me! (Giovanni and Sirius start laughing. Max swings his gun over to Gadget.) Gadget: Uh... (Shakes his finger quickly.) GADGET HANDGUN!!! Abra: I thought that you weren't allowed to use a handgun when you were on TV... Gadget: I wasn't, but I got an upgrade... Abra: Oh... Max: But it's not working, is it? (Evil sneer.) Good bye... (That little robot hand pops out of the top of Gadget's hat and tosses out a huge roll of TNT.) Gadget: I said "HANDGUN," not "Dynamite!" (Everyone screams and runs around like crazy. Well, the heroes just kind of squeal and whimper and pray and tell how much they love each other.) Dexter: Finally the story gets interes-- *KABLAMMO!* (The gym gets blown to smitereens and sends everyone flying. Of course, no one is killed because dynamite never kills cartoons [but a gun can, apparently]! The Rockets go flying off screaming the old "blasting off again" line, and the heroes all go hurtling, still tied together, in the opposite direction. They all land upside down near Pallet Town and Dexter falls out of Ash's pocket.) Dexter: --ting... (His screen fades out and turns off. Gadget lands on Dexter, followed by Max the rabbit and Sam. They all look up and scream as Red falls and squishes all of them.) Red: OOH! Haha! James: (Dizzy.) Hey! Hahahahahahaha! Ash: (Snarl.) What's so funny, James? James: It's funny! I just remembered something! We went through all of this trouble and never got an Earth Badge! HAHAHAHA! Ash: That's not funny - -; James: NO! It gets better, you see... when Jessie, Teem, and I joined Team Rocket... Jessie and Teem: We got... All 3 of them: An Earth Badge! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ash, Brock, and Misty: WHAT? Meowth: Hey, yeah! When ya' join Team Rocket, ya' get an Eoith Badge right from da' start! Delet and Pikachu: ::blinkblink:: Ash: So you're saying that all I had to do was ask Teem or Jessie for the badge? Jessie and Teem: YEP! HAHA! ^_^ Ash: GAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! > <; Brock: Heh... that IS kind of funny... ^_^ Misty: No it's not... (The scene changes to Giovanni, crashing through the roof of the Villains' Lodge.) Dr. Evil: Well, did you kill them? Giovanni: (Cough.) No... > <; Prof. Monkey-yaddayadda: Well, then... PsyCrow: You're outta' da' club! (They all turn around.) Prof. MFH: So, we have a new opening if you're interested... (They are talking to a skinny man with wild black hair with a white stripe through it, a mustache, and wearing bright green glasses and a bright green labcoat with a "G" symbol on it. Next to him is a chubby guy with white hair that curls in the front and he is wearing a black uniform with a "Deep 13" logo on it.) Both: We'll take it! Narrator: And thus Giovanni was kicked out of the club and Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank were admitted! (His voice goes back to normal as the scene goes back to the heroes, now untied. Ash is throwing a tantrum and hitting the ground like a little baby.) And Ash and James now have all of the badges! All they have to do is head to the League! Ash: It's not fair! I wanted my own badge! Teem: Ash, you can have mine! Meowth: Whatta' baby... To Be Continued...