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Q: What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? A: Oh look, doughnut seeds. Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken. Q: Why can't Blondes dial 911? A: They can't find the eleven on the phone! Q: A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, "Oh, look at the dead bird." A: The Blonde looked skyward and said "Where, where?" Q: Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter". Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course." The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandable, totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?" :) Three blonds were walking down the street and they found a genie's bottle. They rubbed it, the genie popped out and he told them they could each have one wish. The first blond says, "I want my IQ raised 20 points." POOF! She turns into a brunette. The second blond thinks to herself, that's really drastic. "Ok," she decides, 'I want my IQ raised 10 points." POOF! She turns into a redhead. The third blond is standing there thinking that she REALLY likes her blond hair, and doesn't like what happened to the other two girls. So she says "I want my IQ lowered 20 points." POOF! She turns into a man. How do you measure a blonde's IQ? With a tire guage! Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side. A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny were walking along when they saw $100. Who got the money? The dumb blonde because the other three don't exist. Why did the blonde dye her hair red? Instant intelligence! Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes? So they remember 'Toe Goes in First' Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid? They can't get all that water in the little package. Why did the blonde stare at the carton of Orange Juice? It said 'concentrate' What do a blonde and a burnt out light bulb have in common? One's just as bright as the other! How do you make a blonde laugh on Sunday? You tell her a joke on Thursday! How can you tell if a blonde has just been using a computer? There's white-out on the screen! What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!!! How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a swimming pool! How do blonde brain cells die? Alone. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in her ear! How did the blonde die ice fishing? She was run over by the zamboni machine. What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been spotted! What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change. How did the blonde try to kill the bird? By throwing it off of a cliff. How did the blonde try to kill the fish? By drowning it. How do you amuse a blonde for hours? Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A space invader. What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? The back of her head. How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Proofreading. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? Hide and seek champion 1975. Links Main Lawyer jokes My favorite jokes Taszoo |
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