I've pretended to be pregnant
and shopped the new apartments in town.
If any of my neighbors saw me,
the rumors would be profound!

Tv's, vcr's, cd's, dvd's,
IRA's, bbq's, and new suv's
Pc's, TCBY, UPS, GTE,
I've shopped them all, even McD's!!

Oil Changes, car washes and free fill-ups,
brake jobs too, and front-end alignments
On behalf of my car,
we appreciate these assignments.

Airports and bus terminals
Hotels and train depots
World traveler I'm not
Although no one knows!!

Tacos, pizza, a hamburger
with a drink and side item to go.
Dine-ins overly busy and
drive-thrus too slow!

Hot delicious cinnamon buns
with double chocolate latte's
What I need now more than anything
is a shop with Jenny Craig.

Book stores, day cares,
post offices, dry cleaning,
Get paid to grocery shop?
I must be dreaming!!

Free passes to Disney World
to see Mickey Mouse
Now if I could just get paid to have
Merry Maids clean my house.

Banks and specialty glass shops,
shoes stores and funky eye glasses,
video rentals, clothes boutiques,
and one of my favs, exercise classes.

Just when I think I am done
My email says to me...
"Body Piercings in your area"
I hope it's still free!!!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone enjoys this as much as I enjoy shopping!!!!